My DS won't sleep alone

[honeywolf7]

Everytime I have Bobby for the night, I get him (after a lot of trying) to go to bed on a mattress in the living room. I go to sleep on the couch in the living room at the same time because he won't go to bed until I do. At about midnight, I wake up with him either on top of me on the couch or standing beside me trying to wake me up. He won't go back to the mattress after that and I end up spending the rest of the night on the floor right beside the couch so that he can lay down next to me and share a pillow/blanket with me. I know he's going through a lot with Thom and I getting separated and I don't mind this sleeping arrangement, but people are telling me that it's not a good idea. He also has a great deal of separation anxiety when I leave him at daycare and I get close to crying myself because I feel so bad about it. Has anybody ever been in a similar situation with their child and if so, how did you deal with it? Like I said, I don't mind the sleeping arrangement but I don't want to do anything that's bad for him.

 

[crazyme5kids]

Do what feels right for you and your son. If it helps him to feel safe and secure I don't see anything wrong with it. He isn't going to sleep with you forever, and one day you will miss "your little boy".

 

[honeywolf7]

Well, since you have 5 kids I'll consider you an expert and thank you for telling me that it's okay

 

[JerseyJanice]

I think it's O.K., too, Becki. I'd let him do it; he probably misses you a lot.

 

[wvjules]

I know he's going though a lot with your separation, but I don't believe a son should be sleeping in the same bed (or in your case sofa) as his mother. Let him sleep on a mattress on the floor but also let him know that you're not going anywhere and you'll be there when he wakes up.

 

[honeywolf7]

BTW, I just realized I didn't say how old he is....he's only two. I just thought that might be important in deciding what you think and what he will understand. Jules, I'm not sure that he'd understand those words since he's so young....otherwise, I'd definitely try that.

 

[tar heel]

I see absolutely nothing wrong with a 2-year-old boy sleeping with his mother. The snuggling will probably make him feel more secure.

 

[Mermaid02]

My son is 5 and he sleeps with my dh and me...... he wakes up in the night and if we put him in his room he comes right in..... sometimes he isnt' even awake..... one night we found him downstairs in the mudroom with the back door open..... if the hook/eye latch we put on the screen door wasn't on- he'd have been out the door!! If you don't mind sleeping with/near him... go ahead and let him- YOU do what YOU think is best.

 

[snoopy]

I've always been adamant that my kids sleep in their own beds, but under the circumstances, I think its o.k. that you also let him sleep with you.

For the record, though, I also see NOTHING wrong with a son sleeping with his mother. My reasons for not allowing my kids to sleep with us is more for privacy issues, I want to share my bed with my husband without having my kids in there too. That being said, I don't think there is anything odd or wrong about letting a 2 year old boy (or any age up until 7 or so) sleep with his mom.

After he becomes more comfortable with the idea that his parents are separated, then you can try and get him to sleep by himself. My youngest went through a period where he was afraid to sleep by himself, and would come in our room at all hours of the night. DH or I would get up, every time, and put him back in his bed. Sometimes one of us would lay down with him in HIS bed, but never in ours. It made for a few tiring evenings, but after a while he got used to it and he never comes in our room anymore. It takes consistency, and since his schedule is not very consistent right now, I would wait until you were more settled.

In the meantime, give the little guy a hug for me. I know that has to be tough on you as well, and certainly an adjustment for the both of you.

 

[Saffron]

Awww poor little guy! Let him sleep with you. He needs you.

 

[Buckalew]

I agree with every single solitary word posted by queen Snoopy. From making them sleep in their own beds (& this is an exception--he needs you) down to give him a hug.

Divorce is hard on kids (of any age).

 

[jldriscoll]

Originally posted by crazyme5kids
Do what feels right for you and your son. If it helps him to feel safe and secure I don't see anything wrong with it. He isn't going to sleep with you forever, and one day you will miss "your little boy".

Perfectly said!!!

 

[Beanie]

I agree, I don't think there is anything wrong with it...My DS slept with me for the longest time in mine and DH's bed, now he is 5 and sleeping in his own bed...My DD was extremely sick the first 2 years of her life and slept with me for the most part of it...even today, she likes to go to sleep with me (she is three now) and I don't mind...but she will sleep in her own bed after she falls asleep...I love my children and don't mind them in my bed at all!

 

[whirlsy]

I to have a 2yr old son and under the circumstances I would definetly let him sleep with you, he misses you and needs you by him by all means let him do it. poor little guy pixie dust to the both of you.

 

[wvjules]

I didn't realize he was so young. I think that does make a difference.

 

[believe]

I think it is fine if he wants to sleep with you. You really need to do what you feel is best for your DS. I let DDs sleep with me when they are sick and DD#1 will lay with me at times till DH gets home. We don't let them do it all the time, but that is also just because we want privacy....

 

[Jodi1980]

My daughter and I (her dad and I were divorced) slept together in a king size (we lived in a 1 bedroom house, but I was ready to move to the couch whenever she decided it was time) until we moved into a bigger house when she was 8 years old. After that, she slept with me maybe an average of once a month because I had a TV in my room.

She is 15 years old now and very well adjusted. I could never see a child wanting to sleep with their parents and the parents refusing. There are adults out there who don't like sleeping alone-imagine how a child may feel.

My daughter never had to cry herself to sleep as a baby.

 

[shortbun]

Yeah-get a bigger mattress and you can both
be comfortable. My 7 yo ds sleeps in our bed
occasionally and it's no big deal. we've never
had a family bed but I think they are great and
your ds needs comfort right now. give up trying
to put him in another bed and just crash with
him-he will feel loved and so will you. Aren't kids
wonderful!?
mimi