My dd2 was called a BRAT today @Walmart:(

[Liberty Belle]

I'm sorry this happened to you.

I think if it were me, I would have been so inclined to say- "Gosh, lady- you're right- right now she IS being a brat. However, she will outgrow it and by the time she does you'll already be dead, since you look like an old hag that's a day older than dirt. Now run along and do something constructive like picking out your gravesite.
Have a nice day."

Don't let someone's idiocy consume you.

You're doing the best you can with what God's blessed you with.

Jo

 

[Christine]

Wow, what vitriol!

I can't comprehend that anyone is taking the rude woman's side....including the cursing even. It's OK in your book that she called her a b----?

Your post sounds about as much as the "me" generation as the other side does. There's no inherent right for you to shop is a perfectly quiet store, either.

I NEVER go to Walmart, but I can't recall seeing a child that really bothered me at a store in recent memory. Of course, I don't go around looking for children -- or their parents -- to hate on, either.

No, it is NOT okay that the woman called her child a brat. I am only inferring what happened from the OPs post. I did not read any further posts of hers into the thread but I imagine that something escalated between the OP and the mean, old lady? Was the woman nasty right off the get go or did she go down into the gutter after the OP went back at her? I think I said that *I* would never have said anything because I just wouldn't, but, yes, after too many times of hearing misbehaving children, I probably would cheer the old lady on silenty *if* OP's kid was truly being a brat. If she wasn't that's a whole different story (OP doesn't actually deny that the child was annoying).

I also NEVER said I wanted or had a right to a "quiet" store. What I don't like is seeing/hearing children whine for 45 minutes straight in a store while the parents/mom/dad is out for what is equivalent to a shopping joyride. It's just plain inconsiderate. A grocery store is far from quiet but somehow the wails, whines, and screeches of miserable, bored kids seem to rise above it.

And it's not the kids of have an issue with. Kids are kids and most hate shopping, especially when tired. Understandable. It's the selfish parents that just don't care.

 

[minkydog]

Wow. Seriously, wow. I have rarely heard such comments, let alone from a parent dealing with a handicapped child. I am in awe of you. Very, very few parents could boast of doing what you do or of being so considerate of others.

I once wasted $300 on tickets to a Broadway show when the handicapped child directly behind me tantrumed through the whole thing, start to finish. I didn't have enough guts to say anything and neither did anyone else, apparently. (I did ask to be moved at intermission, but it was a sold out show.) What I wouldn't have given to have someone like you there.

THANK YOU for what you do and the stance you've taken. Most people will probably never know what you do, because it never impacts them.

Aww, I'm blushing. I'm not a perfect parent. I've done plenty of things wrong. But I had a wiser woman tell me when my kids were very young: "Fit the child for the road, not the road for the child." Everybody thinks their kids are special. I sure do. But I can't use their "specialness" as an excuse to pardon bad behavior.

Christian can really be a bird sometimes. I love him to pieces, but he can get on my last nerve, especially at the dinner table. He went through a long period of acting out at the table, throwing his plate, throwing cups, grabbing food bowls, turning over iced tea, just everything you don't want your kids to do. He might be "special" but he's not so special that he gets to break the rules. No ma'am, he was removed from the table instantly and taken to his room. He missed a few meals, but it didn't hurt him. He got it. I didn't allow my other 2 year olds to act like that and he had to be taught the same thing, except for him it took literally YEARS for him to get it. But now, at 14, we can actually take him out to lunch at sit-down restaurants--heck, he's even gone to that nice French restaurant in EPCOT and he did great!

It's all in the wrist

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

My son was vindictively spoken to by a seanile old fool in Walmart. And yes--an old goat as well.

You see--my son has speech apraxia.

At the time of his alleged bratty behavior--he was moaning/chanting...but I and his speech therapist if she had witnessed it would confirm....he was simply communicating. At the time he had some signs--but nothing to tell me to get him out of the cart NOW. He had been placed there b/c he decided Walmart was perfect for hide and seek. He wanted to walk and doing his best to communicate as such.

The old goat was out of line.

He called my kid a "mouthy kid"--which honestly made no sense. He wanted me to make my kid behave. Well that was precisely what I was doing.

You see--Walmart is NOT a libary or movie theater and silence is NOT golden when it comes to walmart.

Translated my son was saying "Mommy please let me down--pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease". He had just turned 2--and instead of words it was grunts and such--but no whining and no tantruming.

The old goat was extremely insensitive to care and clearly demonstrated how well his momma had brought him up.

I honestly don't think how any grown up feels it is there place to attempt to name call, correct or otherwise reprimand a complete stranger.

It simply is not your place.

I don't expect you to enjoy my kid--but let it be known that if my kid is acting up and uncorrectable, I will remove him.

But my son did nothing wrong. He just didn't use words b/c he didn't have any. Lack of actual words does not a tantrum make.

The old goat caused much more of a scene than my son--but I will tell you what.

My son shut right up.

This isn't to say that we expect everyone to be subject to the tirades of my little snowflake or anyone elses---however, if my son was pitching a fit, there would have been ear piercing screams, a bright red face, lots of tears, and an elongated body attempting to escape from said shopping cart.

Let's all repeat now--Walmart is not a library or a cinema and silence is NOT golden (except when to remember to mind your own p's and q's).

 

[kilee]

just screeching to hear her voice

I wouldn't of said anything....because truthfully it's none of my business. Unpopular or not though, I HATE when parents think this is okay.

I have a 16 yr old...so I'm a mom. Though I was raised and even when my son was little....my parents reminded me.....if my son cannot behave then I need to be the one to leave w/ him.

We always lived by that rule when he was little. If he got out of shape when out to eat....we left. If I was in a store, we went out to the car until he could calm down. No matter what the inconvenience to me, it was my problem not everyone else to listen to.

That is me though. I think the lady was out of line in being mean. I just also don't think you were 100% golden here either.

 

[Aisling]

I NEVER go to Walmart, but I can't recall seeing a child that really bothered me at a store in recent memory. Of course, I don't go around looking for children -- or their parents -- to hate on, either.

I was thinking the same thing as I read through these posts. Unless it's in a place that's meant for quiet (theater, library, etc), whining kids don't bother me at all. They can scream, whine and tantrum all they want...doesn't irk me in the least. I'm a mom who got anxiety if my kids misbehaved in public, and we'd leave immediately, but other people's kids didn't bat my eye.

 

[RhondaL]

I would have been glad it was your kid who was whiny and not mine! I've been there many times with my three kids. I am sorry that she made that comment.

 

[luvmy3]

I cannot believe this thread. I really can't.

We're talking about a two-year old.

I think this point is lost on ALOT of posters, and clearly the witch at Walmart.

 

[Nancyg56]

I think this point is lost on ALOT of posters, and clearly the witch at Walmart.

Actually I do not think this is true. I believe most of us understand that two year old are babies and that their parents are supposed to be in control of their behavior. Most are a little perplexed that an adult woul think that a child screaming for any reason other than pain can get very old very fast. We are also confused why it is okay to allow that kind of behavior continue simply because the parent took the child into a public place is acceptable. That the mother was offended is clear. That she wanted strangers on a public message board to support her decision not to take the child out of the store, most of whom have children BTW, and went "outie" after it was clear that the majority of us think she escalated the woman's frustration is also

Not many of us would have made the decision to speak to the Mother although a lot of us admit we probably would have been silently applauding the woman. No one says it is okay to call the child a brat, although I bet there are a lot is us who would have been thinking it.

I really have not sen vitriol or venom here, I simply see a lot of people who feel that children have the right to be children. We just think that their parents should keep in mind that if their children are making noise enough to annoy them, as happened to the OP, it is a pretty good chance that that noise is bothering others. What ever happened to common courtesy?

That is the point most of us are making. The fact that the child is two is important in that the parent bears the responsibility of making sure that if the baby needs to sleep, leave, eat or let off excess energy it happens. Allowing a tired cranky baby to scream is just rude to others and not very nice to the baby.

 

[Magic Mom]

I think this point is lost on ALOT of posters, and .

Not lost on me. All kids cry, and some parents are considerate of others.

 

[TheBigBadWolf]

I think we're talking about a two year old's mother who allowed her child to screech to the point that another shopper felt compelled to call her out on it. We didn't hear the "witch's" side of the story, but I suspect the child was driving everyone in the store nuts with her screeching and the mother had her tuned out. I suspect a mother with five children probably has the extreme ability to tune out her children's noise.... otherwise she'd be nuts. I think the mother probably has no idea how annoying her child(ren) are to most shoppers.

What I've found astonishing throughout this whole thread is the number of people who think it's okay for their kids to annoy other shoppers with their crying, whining and screeching. And the mothers who think the shoppers it bothers should go home and shop online. Unreal.

 

[The Orchid]

Who gets to decide if it is a disruption? you?

The majority? I would say, based on this thread, most people find screeching children to be disruptive, unpleasant and uncomfortable.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

I was on a train coming home from NYC back to DC...all three of my children on the train were surprisingly well behaved for ALMOST the entire 3 1/2 hour trip!! (ages 6,4, and 1) ... However about 10 minutes before we landed at Union Station my baby started crying and wouldn't stop. I tried everything...a bottle, singing, hushing him, but nothing would work-- he was over-tired, he had been pleasant sitting on a train for three HOURS and was completely spent.. Most people on the train smiled at me or tried to help in some way... but there was one man who stood and scowled. He glared at me and kept rolling his eyes. Couldn't he see I was trying my hardest to get the baby to stop? Couldn't he sense my frustration? Couldn't he understand that there was nowhere I could go? (most people were standing in the aisles w/luggage at this point as we neared the station).... I exited the train first and he passed me on the platform and said to me with the meanest look on his face, "Thank GOD..."

I just don't know why people have to be so mean--- its very hard raising children. And sometimes there are situations that are beyond your control.

 

[EMom]

I think this point is lost on ALOT of posters, and clearly the witch at Walmart.

The point is NOT lost on those of us who believe an overtired, cranky toddler should have never been taken to Walmart in the first place, let alone allowed to remain in the store once the child began to screeeeeeeech just to hear the sound of her own voice.

There is a difference between the oft-heard whimpering, fussy, even somewhat whiny child you are bound to run into at Walmart and the child that was described by the OP. Any child that is screeeeeeeeeching repeatedly just to hear the sound of her own voice has passed the point of "rather annoying, but bearable" and zoomed right into the "Dear lord, make it stop before I start screaming myself" category. Screeching is not just annoying. As some mentioned, it is downright PAINFUL to many, including me. Why should I, a person who is quietly shopping and bothering no one, have to exit a store or run to the frozen food section, to escape the pain caused by the screeeeeeeeeeeeching of a child that CLEARLY needs to be taken home to chill out? Why should every person in the store who is pained or unnerved by the screeching have to leave the area?

No, the burden to depart is on the one doing the screeching.....Or on her mother, I should say. I don't think the toddler was being a brat. The poor behavior was on her mother's part, not the child's. The child had already made it clear, by nonverbal cues, that she was NOT in a state to be taken to Walmart, but the mother ignored the cues.

Yes, very young children have trouble expressing themselves and sometimes cry, yell, scream, whine or throw fits. But not all behavior is created equal. Screeching is not "a little fussy." Screeching is beyond what other shoppers should have to suffer. Screeching child = leave store. If you have a morsel of food in the house, you can come back later. What's that I hear in my head? "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." Well, the need of the other shoppers to shop without ear-splitting pain outweighs the need of the toddler to screech and of the OP to get her shopping done.

Look, I like kids. I adore my own. But I'd never inflict a screeching child on anyone else. When DD was teething and prone to crying, etc., we stayed home. A little cabin fever wasn't going to kill us. She felt better at home if she was overtired and I know the other shoppers wouldn't have found an overtired, cranky child so adorable. MY world may revolve around my DD, but I am fully aware that the rest of the world does not share that sentiment.

When general fussiness crosses the line and becomes something others shouldn't have to put up with, you need to take a kid home.

 

[luvmy3]

A two year old can't always be controlled, just because you (general you) were able to control your pefect little snowflake in the perfect manner does not mean it works for everyone. And like it has been said, it is not always possible for a parent to just up and leave the store. And to the poster who mentioned some parents being considerate, you are right some are- the ones that take into consideration that having a 2 year old sometimes means things like this will happen and they cut a parent some slack instead of walking up to her and telling her to control her child.

 

[a1tinkfans]

Momneedsvacay: You did your best....people just feel the need to judge others, thats THEIR problem, not yours, IMHO!

As far as screaming whining kids, no I do not particularly want to hear it as I am anywhere, never mind shopping, BUT, once again, don't think I would ever SAY anything or purposely hurt a mom/dad that was responding to that situation.
As an adult, I can walk away if I so choose, so once again, I say, the nasty biddy that was so rude to OP should shop online if she cannot deal with Noisy kids! Just My Opinion, though!
Meanwhile, isn't raising kids Grand!!

 

[Magic Mom]

A two year old can't always be controlled, just because you (general you) were able to control your pefect little snowflake in the perfect manner does not mean it works for everyone. And like it has been said, it is not always possible for a parent to just up and leave the store. And to the poster who mentioned some parents being considerate, you are right some are- the ones that take into consideration that having a 2 year old sometimes means things like this will happen and they cut a parent some slack instead of walking up to her and telling her to control her child.

A poster said earleir that a little consideration from both parties would have gone a long way to fix the situation. To me that sounds about right, but I guess some people think kids are the end all and that every one around them should just suck it up and deal with it. I cut slack to parents that at least try, but not parents that think their little snowflake should be allowed to do whatever he/she wants at the expense of others. YMMV

 

[NikitaZee]

If any of my children have tantrums, loud, unruly or inappropriate behavior that I cannot get them to stop in a public place, they and I will leave that place until they have calmed down. This is much for their benefit as everyone else's. This includes restaurants, Wal-mart, the grocery store, and yes, Disney World. I have a two year old, and those rules apply to him as well!

 

[brittsmum1998]

A two year old can't always be controlled, just because you (general you) were able to control your pefect little snowflake in the perfect manner does not mean it works for everyone. And like it has been said, it is not always possible for a parent to just up and leave the store. And to the poster who mentioned some parents being considerate, you are right some are- the ones that take into consideration that having a 2 year old sometimes means things like this will happen and they cut a parent some slack instead of walking up to her and telling her to control her child.

I guess if excuses can be made for 2 yr olds can they also be made for 8 yr olds? 12 yr olds? At what point do the parents parent? When are the parents responsible?

I don't think leaving the store with a tired / frustrated whatever child is a criminal act, to me its common courtesy.

Edited to add: I do think the woman was off base to say anything, but also know I would've been one of the ones applauding.

Walmart isn't the only store, I find this happens ALOT at Target also.

 

[LoraJ]

I think this point is lost on ALOT of posters, and clearly the witch at Walmart.

The child was not crying or having a meltdown. She was SCREECHING which the OP admits was annoying. When the so-called witch first approached her and said to control her child, maybe she should have apologized but instead she shot back at the woman. Sounds like the OP was not doing anything to quiet the child.