My dd2 was called a BRAT today @Walmart:(

[Carly_Roach]

Now that's funny. Really it is.

And, ftr, I'm not saying that kids don't sometimes act like brats, they all do, at times. But I won't go up to someone in public and ask them to quiet their child and then call the child a brat, and the mother a b****. That's just wrong.

I don't think the brat-calling or calling the mother a B happened until after the mother engaged in an argument with the old woman who asked her to control her child. Things escalated because the mother pretty much insinuated that the old woman should mind her own business and bugger off.

That's how I interpretted the situation. I could be wrong.

 

[mhsjax]

those were the children who didnt get corrected when acting out!!

eloquently stated.

 

[KAMKIM]

Your beef seemed to be that something derogatory was said to the kid's face. MY beef is that it was said to the mother. The kid had no clue...the kid wasn't offended. Mom was (and rightfully so. The old bat was out of line).


I'm sure I've been called names I didn't understand many times. But just like the ones I DID understand, they are just words and only contain as much power as you allow them to. So if someone called me a name I didn't understand that would be great! I'd have nothing to be upset over...I wouldn't even know it happened!

Personally, I always have the sneaking suspicion that the ladies at my nail place are taking smack about me and the other customers in Vietnamese. Since I don't know what they are saying, I suppose ignorance IS bliss!

That actually is my only beef. I would have left with my kids, and have in that situation.

I actually think my nail ladies are talking about me too

 

[Carly_Roach]

No, I'm right. The brat-calling and B-calling didn't happen until the OP escalated the situation into an argument.

I was shopping today in Walmart and my dd2 hadn't had a nap so she was not in the cheeriest mood. She wasn't crying or anything, just screeching to hear her voice and getting a little whiny. Granted, not fun to listen to.
This lady says, "can you control your kid".
I said "excuse me".
She said it again and that she didn't want to listen to it.
I said "what do you want me to do, beat her?"
She said "control her"
I said "maybe you shouldn't be in a public place like walmart then".
She then preceded to call her a brat
I told her not to call my kid a brat
I asked her if she had kids
She said yes and they didn't act like that
I then said that I could think of some names to call her but I won't.
She said the same thing back to me.
Then I sarcasticly said "have a nice day"
She then called me a b!

 

[ols386]

I don't think the brat-calling or calling the mother a B happened until after the mother engaged in an argument with the old woman who asked her to control her child. Things escalated because the mother pretty much insinuated that the old woman should mind her own business and bugger off.

That's how I interpretted the situation. I could be wrong.

I think you interprtted the situation correctly.

And to be honest, if I had a crying child with me in a store, and someone came up and told me to keep my child quiet, I'd probably tell them to mind their own business. I wouldn't name-call or anything like that, though.

My kids are grown now, but when they were small, there were a couple times when they threw a fit, cried, whatever.....and I did leave the store with them and went directly to the car. But I can't control how someone else deals with their child in a public place.

Anyhoo, I guess well have to agree to disagree. I respect that you are entitled to your opinions.

 

[mhsjax]

Would you remove them from the parks ?




This is a question that has come up in the past... if your child is mis-behaving in a park, will you remove them and ruin the rest of the family's vacation?

I don't know what I'd really do, but certainly I wouldn't threaten it if I didn't intend to do it. I've never had to threaten it (yet) and hope I never have to. I've made expectations painfully clear before we are there!

If you know you have a kid who will throw tantrums in public, take them to a low-consequence place (ie. grocery store on a non-critical night, mall, etc.), let them throw the tantrum/scream {insert undesirable behavior here}, threaten leaving, and most importantly.... when they do it again => LEAVE!

Trust me... they WILL remember it!

Having said all that, I agree with the, 'neither was 100% right in this situation'. I do find the "I have to tolerate your wheelchair and choice of ugly clothing" a bit OTT. To compare a screeching child with a choice of clothing isn't really a very good comparison, now, is it ?

I would absolutely remove the child from the park, if I didn't then he would learn that he can get his way. Then after he calmed down, I would lay on the guilt about ruining everyone else's day. Or else take them to do something special that they want to do and leave the child that caused problems out and see how he or she liked it. Wow, I sound mean, I guess that is why my kids don't pitch fits or other such non sense in public, cause they know that I mean business and there is no way that they would get away with any fits.

 

[Carly_Roach]

I think you interprtted the situation correctly.

And to be honest, if I had a crying child with me in a store, and someone came up and told me to keep my child quiet, I'd probably tell them to mind their own business. I wouldn't name-call or anything like that, though.

My kids are grown now, but when they were small, there were a couple times when they threw a fit, cried, whatever.....and I did leave the store with them and went directly to the car. But I can't control how someone else deals with their child in a public place.

Anyhoo, I guess well have to agree to disagree. I respect that you are entitled to your opinions.

I think we agree more than we disagree. 99% of the time most people just ignore or accept that babies scream sometimes. 99% of the time most people tolerate and forgive children acting like children. It's human nature.

But I think most people bristle when others tell them that they're expected to tolerate or overlook, as if it's owed to them because they're parents or something. That's the entitlement attitude that I'm talking about.

 

[themilesfamily]

I cannot believe this thread. I really can't.

We're talking about a two-year old.

A two-year old screeched in a Wal-Mart and mom had the audacity to finish her shopping trip. Call the authorities!

Nobody died. I HIGHLY doubt anyone's hearing was lost.

The OP obviously feels bad enough already about what was said to her. She clearly just came here for a little sympathy. Why are folks piling it on and probably making her feel worse -- lectures on how to parent, why she was in the wrong, shoppers' rights, etc.

Can't we sometimes just give someone a little support and move on?

 

[Scurvy]

I don't think out-of-control behavior in children is ok, but if I am in Walmart, and hear or see a child mis-behaving, it's not any of my business to approach the parent and get into a verbal confrontation with them (and besides that, there are alot of people out there, that you don't know how they may react when you confront them...calling their child a name...it could get real ugly or even violent).

I think there are people who get completely annoyed by the smallest thing, and there are also people who get annoyed about things that are justified, but, if I am annoyed by a crying, screaming kid, I sure wouldn't approach them and call them a brat, or call the mother a name. I don't think that does anything to help the situation.

And I still think that some adults just don't want to be tolerant of much of anything, whether it's a crying child, or anything else.

I do agree with you about this. I don't think it was the best idea to approach the parent - I think the woman should have talked to a Walmart employee, who could have asked the OP to leave. It might have been okay for her to point out that the child was really loud and ask the mom if she could try to tone it down a bit. . . some parents would be okay with that; they might just not realize how much the sound was carrying. It wasn't okay for her to start calling them names once she realized that the OP was going to be less than cooperative.

I also agree that some people seem to be intolerant of just about everything. Some people seem to be tolerant of everything, though, so maybe that evens out in the end. Really, though, I do think the two extremes feed off of each other to some extent. It does make me angrier when I see someone excusing inappropriate and disruptive behavior, so something that I might otherwise ignore becomes a much bigger deal if the parent doesn't see anything wrong with the child's behavior. On the other hand, I've seen parents almost encourage their children to get louder when they felt that the people around them were being "intolerant" of their children. As each side gets more upset, it seems to inflame the other side even more. . . until some people don't want to hear so much as a "peep" out of any children, and other people are wheeling their screeching child closer and closer to anyone who seems annoyed by the noise.

Ideally, we would all try to be tolerant of kids who are having a meltdown or being noisy if the parents are trying their best to deal with it. And ideally, the parents would try their hardest to minimize the disruption to everyone else who is having to listen to the meltdown or other noise.

 

[Magic Mom]

My 2 year old is definitely not the first in a public place to be loud....and thats all it was was loud. NO CRYING, NOTHING. SHE WASN'T HAVING A MELTDOWN OR ANYTHING ELSE, JUST SCREECHING TO HEAR HERSELF.

If people don't want to hear possible "loud noises" (which is pretty much anywhere you are in public) STAY HOME!!!! SHOP ONLINE.



.

I don't mind noise, but a screeching child and a parent that thinks its fine is annoying. YMMV If you don't want people to be annoyed by a screeching child, then you might want to do your shopping at home. (said without caps)

 

[3jsmommy]

Honestly I just don't "get" people who feel the need to tell parents how to do their job. If you saw a nurse or social worker with a disabled person in the store would you tell them how to control their patients? Toddlers are not adults & a little screechiness is not them being out of control.
Unless you are in some sort of danger or your personal space is being intruded upon myob.
Doesn't anyone just enjoy being around people anymore?
I wish everyone could just take life a little less seriously & find joy in others. I know that sounds very cumbaya (sp?) But seriously why couldn't the lady just smile & keep walking? If someone is seriously that sensitive to noise they need to invest in some ear plugs.

 

[Magic Mom]

I agree with the posters that said both people were in the wrong. The woman approaching the OP & calling names was definitely wrong, however, the OP should not have tolerated her DD "screeching", especially since she admitted that it was somewhat annoying.

Just a little common courtesy & common sense on both ends would avoid a situation like this.

I think this is the best sentence in this whole thread.

 

[Robinrs]

I cannot believe this thread. I really can't.

We're talking about a two-year old.

A two-year old screeched in a Wal-Mart and mom had the audacity to finish her shopping trip. Call the authorities!

Nobody died. I HIGHLY doubt anyone's hearing was lost.

The OP obviously feels bad enough already about what was said to her. She clearly just came here for a little sympathy. Why are folks piling it on and probably making her feel worse -- lectures on how to parent, why she was in the wrong, shoppers' rights, etc.

Can't we sometimes just give someone a little support and move on?

because THIS is the DIS!!

 

[Carly_Roach]

I cannot believe this thread. I really can't.

We're talking about a two-year old.

A two-year old screeched in a Wal-Mart and mom had the audacity to finish her shopping trip. Call the authorities!

Can't we sometimes just give someone a little support and move on?

It's not about a two-year old screeched (as in once) at Walmart and the mother had the audacity to finish her shopping trip. It's about a child constantly screeching because she felt like it and the mother not only not doing anything about it, but getting into an argument with someone who asked her to try to tone her kid down.

I can't speak for others, but I have very little support for someone who blatantly admits to losing control over herself, and her temper, in front of her child and then bragging about it on an internet bulletin board.

Maybe that's just me, though.

 

[FireDancer]

The OP obviously feels bad enough already about what was said to her. She clearly just came here for a little sympathy. Why are folks piling it on and probably making her feel worse -- lectures on how to parent, why she was in the wrong, shoppers' rights, etc.

Can't we sometimes just give someone a little support and move on?

Anyone who starts a thread like this on these boards is going to get exactly what we have here...polarization. When someone comes here to vent about something they will most likely get support along with some judgment. It happens on all message boards.

Anyone who's ego is so fragile that they can't take some criticism should not post on these boards, especially a topic that has always turned into exactly what this has turned into.

I have to say I love following these threads, it's like watching a tennis match from mid court.

 

[themilesfamily]

because THIS is the DIS!!

Yeah, you're right. And I DO love it here!

 

[Carly_Roach]

Doesn't anyone just enjoy being around people anymore?

Umm.....well......I enjoy being around people, but I don't enjoy being around screaming kids. In fact, I don't think I know anyone who actually enjoys being around screaming kids.

Isn't that why we try to get them to stop screaming?

***POCK!!***

 

[JanaNs]

I cannot believe this thread. I really can't.

We're talking about a two-year old.

A two-year old screeched in a Wal-Mart and mom had the audacity to finish her shopping trip. Call the authorities!

Nobody died. I HIGHLY doubt anyone's hearing was lost.

The OP obviously feels bad enough already about what was said to her. She clearly just came here for a little sympathy. Why are folks piling it on and probably making her feel worse -- lectures on how to parent, why she was in the wrong, shoppers' rights, etc.

Can't we sometimes just give someone a little support and move on?

My thoughts exactly. Talk about beating a dead horse. Maybe I'm just a little more laid back but seriously, can we take it down a notch. Wow.

 

[minkydog]

I would absolutely remove the child from the park, if I didn't then he would learn that he can get his way. Then after he calmed down, I would lay on the guilt about ruining everyone else's day. Or else take them to do something special that they want to do and leave the child that caused problems out and see how he or she liked it. Wow, I sound mean, I guess that is why my kids don't pitch fits or other such non sense in public, cause they know that I mean business and there is no way that they would get away with any fits.

No flames from me. This is exactly what I do with my kids. From an early age, if my kids started acting up, squalling, or falling apart I just packed it in and left. Didn't matter if it was a store, a restaurant, church, park or Chuck E. Cheese. You act up and you're going home, to your room, with no music and no toys. No negotiations. No pleading or threatening. You get one warning. The second infractions results in your removal and punishment. Period. My two older children didn't have any problem understanding the rules and I probably had to remove each of them twice in their lives. My kids have always been easy to take places because we expect them to be well-behaved or we remove them.

Even my mentally handicapped 14yo rarely has tantrums. We know that he cannot sit still and be quiet during concerts, church services, weddings, etc. He has the cognitive skills of a baby. Therefore we hear a lot of squealing, hooting, clapping and other disruptive noises. If we are unable to leave him at home, we take him with us. The very *second* he starts, one of us gets up and removes him from the setting, sometimes staying outside the entire time. Fun? not so much. But I wouldn't even think of subjecting other people to my child's carrying on, I don't care how "special" he is. He doesn't understand manners in formal places. It's my job to take care of it for him.

 

[ilovepcot]

Even my mentally handicapped 14yo rarely has tantrums. We know that he cannot sit still and be quiet during concerts, church services, weddings, etc. He has the cognitive skills of a baby. Therefore we hear a lot of squealing, hooting, clapping and other disruptive noises. If we are unable to leave him at home, we take him with us. The very *second* he starts, one of us gets up and removes him from the setting, sometimes staying outside the entire time. Fun? not so much. But I wouldn't even think of subjecting other people to my child's carrying on, I don't care how "special" he is. He doesn't understand manners in formal places. It's my job to take care of it for him.

Wow! I respected you before, but now even more!!!