My co-worker is a fountain of misinformation!! 5/14 the day has come page 130

[gradtchr]

All I can say is I am super glad she has no plans on going. That way there's at least a tad bit more room on the ADR lists for my "dog food" restaurants. YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

 

[Chicago526]

You must have the patience of a saint. I'd have started with "You're an idiot and you don't know what you're talking about" and it would have gone down hill from there.

 

[MyGoofy26]

All I can say is I am super glad she has no plans on going. That way there's at least a tad bit more room on the ADR lists for my "dog food" restaurants. YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

"I'll have the Pedigree Beef flavored with a side of Kibbles and Bits"

 

[kcork1026]

Lunch was truly an amazing experience. 6 of us went. 4 of us have vacations in the works including Miss Information. One girl is going to China. (See yesterday's post) One girl is going to San Francisco. Did you know that there aren't any street cars in San Fran, that's just in the movies. Oh and Fisherman's Wharf is nothing to see. Miss Information is going to Vegas. Doesn't say too much about her trip, won't even tell you where she's staying. Very curious. And then of course there's me. Going to DW in September. What an explosion. Why am I going to DW? WTH am I going to do there for a WEEK?!?!? As I'm trying to explain that dh and I loved going there and that is where I feel safe and get some closure on his death, she's going on and on and on. When I explain to her that there's 4 parks plus DTD she looks at me like I have 2 heads. I name all 4 parks and she tells me there's one park, and that those are the names of the different parts of the park. Told me not to stay on site because someone she knows did that and it was worse than staying at a Motel 6. No she didn't know which resort. And the food is just HORRIBLE, she'd rather eat dog food. I finally give up and ask her when was the last time she was at DW. (I hope you're sitting down) SHE'S NEVER, EVER BEEN THERE AND NEVER INTENDS TO GO!!! The whole table just sat and stared at her. We all then changed the subject

OH and what did she order to "stick it to the company"? She ordered the grilled fish platter which looked really good, but she ate it all so that she wouldn't have to cook dinner for her and her dh. I asked what her dh was going to eat and she told me "Who cares."

What a hoot? Good thing I don't have to work with her, I would have opened up a can of whoop @$$!

 

[TPCShauna]

The woman is a complete and utter moron. She IS very entertaining, however!

I have a good one. DH loves badgers. Why? Because they are mean and surly and he thinks he is mean and surly. (Um, no but you go ahead and think that).

Anyway, his ex-girlfriend was not winning any awards for intelligence (his words, not mine) and wanted to get him something special for his birthday. So, she went a store and purchased two figurines of what the sales clerk told her were badgers. She gave them to DH and was upset when he asked why she had purchased him two raccoon figurines. She was SO stupid that the sales clerk sold her raccoons and told her they were badgers.

She also was surprised the first time she saw real deer because they were fuzzy and the ones in her yard weren't. Yes, her lawn ornaments were made of plastic. No, she never got it.

 

[harleyquinn]

You must have the patience of a saint. I'd have started with "You're an idiot and you don't know what you're talking about" and it would have gone down hill from there.

In my case I would bring in documentation and prove her wrong from now on. I mean Misinformation is one thing, but she's just plain mean sometimes.

Still very funny!

 

[tiff211]

oooh, oooh! I have one! Last November a few of us were talking about going to vote that evening and someone mentioned they went in the morning to avoid the long lines. Then I asked how long the lines were and all were in agreement that they would pretty long after work. This one lady says "That's why I don't bother going, I just vote online" Maybe she was confused with AI!!!!!!

 

[Daxx]

Ok, so today I was in the office while my kids were in Art class and the computer teacher is in there and she answers the phone b/c the secretary was busy. So, she says "Mary Smith? There's nobody here named Mary Smith. Hold on." and she says "What the heck ... it's the board of education looking for Mary Smith. There's nobody here named Mary Smith. What do I do?" And, I pipe in .... "Uh, they're looking for Sister Mary (our former principal)! Send the call to John (the new principal) b/c Sister isn't here anymore!" So, the teacher transfers the call and then says "I didn't know that nuns had a last name!" I am thinking yeah, you know you're a nun when you're born w/o a last name! So I say "You've been on staff for 5 years and you didn't know that our principal had a last name?!?!!?" And she says "Well, if she's married to Jesus, then doesn't she take his last name?!" So I say "Well, what would that be then?" and she says "Duh -- Christ!" We were absolutely hysterical!!!!!! She totally had no idea!!!!!

 

[simba928]

These are two funny! Here's one for ya:
A friend of mine is not the brightest one, but she is very sweet. We were talking one day (can't remember how this came up) and this is how the conversation went:
Friend: What language do they speak in Asia?
Me: Well that depends what country your in.
Friend: Asia. What language do they speak?
Me: It depends on the country.
Friend (growing slightly annoyed that I wasn't giving her the answer): ASIA!!! YOU'RE IN ASIA!!! WHAT LANGUAGE DO THEY SPEAK???
Me: Asia is a continent. There are a bunch of different countries.
Friend: Oh, well what language do they speak?
Me: It depends on the country. They speak Chinese in China, Russian in Russia, Japanese in Japan.
Friend: All those countries are in Asia?
Me: Yes, and a lot more.
This conversation went on for about 10 more minutes until I got out a map and pointed out which countries were in Asia.

Another time, she asked me, yet again, she asked me what language they speak in Asia.
Me: We already discussed this.
Friend: We did?
Me: Yeah, last week. It depends on the country your in.
Friend: What do you mean?
Me: If your in China, you speak Chinese. If your in Japan, you speak Japanese.
Friend: Really?
Me: Yeah, its the same thing as Africa. What language do they speak?
Friend: African. Duh!!!
at this point I just had to keep going and asked her about Australia (Australian), Canada (Canadian), Mexico (Mexican, of course!), and some other places.

A couple weeks later, we had a 2-hour delay and we were talking about it. This same friend said "It was really cold! The windshield was like 3 degrees!!!"

 

[gypsydoodlebug]

Lunch was truly an amazing experience. 6 of us went. 4 of us have vacations in the works including Miss Information. One girl is going to China. (See yesterday's post) One girl is going to San Francisco. Did you know that there aren't any street cars in San Fran, that's just in the movies. Oh and Fisherman's Wharf is nothing to see. Miss Information is going to Vegas. Doesn't say too much about her trip, won't even tell you where she's staying. Very curious. And then of course there's me. Going to DW in September. What an explosion. Why am I going to DW? WTH am I going to do there for a WEEK?!?!? As I'm trying to explain that dh and I loved going there and that is where I feel safe and get some closure on his death, she's going on and on and on. When I explain to her that there's 4 parks plus DTD she looks at me like I have 2 heads. I name all 4 parks and she tells me there's one park, and that those are the names of the different parts of the park. Told me not to stay on site because someone she knows did that and it was worse than staying at a Motel 6. No she didn't know which resort. And the food is just HORRIBLE, she'd rather eat dog food. I finally give up and ask her when was the last time she was at DW. (I hope you're sitting down) SHE'S NEVER, EVER BEEN THERE AND NEVER INTENDS TO GO!!! The whole table just sat and stared at her. We all then changed the subject

OH and what did she order to "stick it to the company"? She ordered the grilled fish platter which looked really good, but she ate it all so that she wouldn't have to cook dinner for her and her dh. I asked what her dh was going to eat and she told me "Who cares."

Oh. My. Gosh. There's really.... nothing to say to this. Get maps from the parks when you go!

 

[lucas]

Unbelievable stuff!

What in the world do her bosses think?!

 

[laurie31]

So, the teacher transfers the call and then says "I didn't know that nuns had a last name!" I am thinking yeah, you know you're a nun when you're born w/o a last name! So I say "You've been on staff for 5 years and you didn't know that our principal had a last name?!?!!?" And she says "Well, if she's married to Jesus, then doesn't she take his last name?!" So I say "Well, what would that be then?" and she says "Duh -- Christ!" We were absolutely hysterical!!!!!! She totally had no idea!!!!!

Sister Mary Christ???!!!

I nearly lost my keyboard over that one!!

Can you imagine her junk mail??? Dear Mrs. Christ, you may have won $10,000...


As for Canadians who speak Canadian and all that, I don't know whether to laugh or shake my head in dismay that people are that ignorant. Perhaps you should tell her you're planning a trip to Canada, and could she maybe help you find a Canadian language phrase book so you can talk to the natives

 

[Kath2003]

Topics of conversation for tomorrow:

1. Evolution.
2. The British Monarchy.
3. Washing fruit/vegetables (should drum up some good near-death stories).

 

[laurie31]

Ask her what happens when you cross the international date line? Do you get younger/older?

And ask her why we drive on parkways and park in driveways!

Oh and to the person with the friend who thinks people speak Mexican in Mexico - ask her about Brazil! Oooooh, and what about...America?? What do we speak in the USA? LOL LOL!!

 

[blue_eyes5212]

Ok, so today I was in the office while my kids were in Art class and the computer teacher is in there and she answers the phone b/c the secretary was busy. So, she says "Mary Smith? There's nobody here named Mary Smith. Hold on." and she says "What the heck ... it's the board of education looking for Mary Smith. There's nobody here named Mary Smith. What do I do?" And, I pipe in .... "Uh, they're looking for Sister Mary (our former principal)! Send the call to John (the new principal) b/c Sister isn't here anymore!" So, the teacher transfers the call and then says "I didn't know that nuns had a last name!" I am thinking yeah, you know you're a nun when you're born w/o a last name! So I say "You've been on staff for 5 years and you didn't know that our principal had a last name?!?!!?" And she says "Well, if she's married to Jesus, then doesn't she take his last name?!" So I say "Well, what would that be then?" and she says "Duh -- Christ!" We were absolutely hysterical!!!!!! She totally had no idea!!!!!

"Well, I was born with a last name, so there goes that!"

Keep 'em coming!!

Oh yeah, I just thought of one!! My niece and nephew's mother saw one of those big water towers and asked my father-in-law how the water got in there. He told her that a man carries the water in a bucket to the top of the water tower and pours it in the top, and YES, she believed him!

 

[suzij13]

One day me and some of my friends were talking and somehow we got on the subject on digging to China. Then being the creative people we are someone asked where do kids in China dig to? well one of my friends who is not the smartest person in the world announced Asia . We then spent 15 min trying to convince her that China was in Asia. I'm still not sure if she belives us.
Suzi

 

[Mugg Mann]

Good thread. I have a few stories that'll fit in nicely, but let's start here...

A good friend of mine ran a large video rental chain here in Boston. He fed me stories collected by his staff all the time, but one of the most memorable was the guy who went into the store hours ahead of an incoming blizzard and rented six movies at once because...."I want to have something to do if the power goes out."

 

[Hixski]

It truly amazes me that these people have made it this far through life. I have been told before that I don't know what I am talking about because I am Polish. I knew where they were going with this and asked why. I can't possibly know anything because Polish people are stupid. Why would they have all those jokes if all Polish people weren't stupid.

 

[debster812]

Sister Mary Christ???!!!

I nearly lost my keyboard over that one!!

Can you imagine her junk mail??? Dear Mrs. Christ, you may have won $10,000...

See, now I think this would be LESS funny to non-Catholics than to Catholics. I mean growing up, nuns were nuns. Sister Firstname and nothing else. OF COURSE they all have last names, it's just nothing that really ever comes up. I mean I have a great aunt who is a nun. I KNOW she has a last name, we just never have a chance to use it. She's Sister Debster'sAuntie.

Oh gosh, this literally had me lol Sister Mary Christ.

 

[CanadianGuy]

This thread -- I have to say -- has provided me with some of the biggest laughs all MONTH. Thank you to the OP.

My father, god rest his soul, was a character to be sure. Occasionally he'd say something that was borderline funny and I don't think he realized it sometimes.

When I was a kid I always begged to go to Disney World and he flat out refused. He wasn't shy about taking a long vacation or a roadtrip.. but not to Disney.

"But WHYYYYY" I would whine as only a nine year old could..

And he'd reply..

"Because I went to Florida when I was in the navy.. and it's nothing but a giant tourist trap. The whole xxxx state... and Disney is just a tourist trap with the rat built-in!"

Knox