My co-worker is a fountain of misinformation!! 5/14 the day has come page 130

[kelleigh1]

I think you need to frame that poem and hang it in your office. She'll never get it.

 

[Nancy]

Yay she's back!!! Her vacation was "okay" Weather was "warm" Went to see a Cirque show again. Most blah description of any vacation I've ever heard. And it's how she answers everyone when they ask.

But here are the good parts. She was sooo thirsty on the plane, because they weren't allowed to bring on drinks and the airline didn't have anything to drink on it. And of course she never got over being thirsty, because then they landed in the desert and she just never could get rid of the feeling.

The Wynn hotel wasn't open when they went there to see it. (The Wynn has been opened for about a year, maybe more)

Didn't like the pirate show outside of TI, too many girls in skimpy outfits. (Ummm it's Vegas, home of girls in skimpy outfits)

Vegas was ok? hmmmm

No drinks on a plane? HMMMMM

Wynn wasn't open? I guess my Mom stayed in a hotel that wasn't open (I'm pretty sure that's where she stayed her last trip)

Girls in skimpy outfits in Vegas? You're kidding? Who woulda thought!

OK -- not to hijack the thread but I have another coworker story from the computer teacher (aka Ms. Computers) -- the same one who thinks all nuns last names are Christ.

So, today is the first day back to school. It's 7:30 and all teachers are supposed to be in. However Ms. Computers isn't in. It's 7:45 and no Ms. Computers. It's 8 and no Ms. Computers. By 9 am, the principal decides to call Ms. Computers. She thought we were off of school this week, too. Uh, you have the stinking school calendar in your classroom!!!!

However, it gets better b/c the best part is that Ms. Computers has a son who goes to our school and he was in school, on time!!!! And, she drove him to school!!!!! Her son had no idea why she wasn't in school!!!!

Go figure!!!!!

Daxx...that is too funny! She took her son to school, but didn't know she had to be there? What planet does she live on?

 

[Nana Annie]

I sit next to a lady who is in her 60's she knows everything about everything, some of the things she tells people would curl your hair.

Today's gems included...

If you have Lasik eye surgery, you will have to put special, expensive drops in your eyes for the rest of your life. (I had Lasik 3 years ago, use drops maybe once a week, OTC kind)

There is nothing to see or do in San Antonio TX. It is all Mexicans. (My apologies to all Texans)

There aren't any emergency rooms in Canada, because of their health care system. If something goes wrong, you have to wait weeks to see a doctor no matter how sick you are. Her friends husband had a heart attack and she put him in the car and drove him across the border.

And don't you DARE tell her that she's incorrect. That could lead to WW III. I sit in my cubicle and shake my head

Reminds me of certain die-hard Disney folks. You know - the ones who are so certain how evil Universal is, yet they have never been there. The ones who are certain that it is only "thrill rides", that it is only for "older kids", that it has no themeing, etc. They have never experienced a single minute, yet they are the experts, and vehemently constantly criticize anything that is not Disney And when asked to give examples - WW II also breaks out and they say "they just know."

Sounds like your co-worker drinks from the same type of all-knowing kool-aid fountain.

Of course, nobody on the DIS boards are like that

 

[mirthmaiden]

Right now she's sighing so much I fear she's going to hyperventilate. It means she's doing an excel spreadsheet.

DH calls that "losing air." You oughta tell her she doesn't look too good because of all that air she's losing

 

[mirthmaiden]

Oh the car at the wrong airport was funny, and so was the "big apple" unsighting...but this! What did she think it just APPEARED in the harbor out of nowhere one day??

Yeah - sort of like fungus only prettier

 

[Briarmom]

Ask her another question.
I need some laughs.

 

[ilovejack02]

Ask her another question.
I need some laughs.

YES!!!! I need a good laugh

 

[Evil Genius]

I sneezed twice today. Twice in 6 hours. She made a big stink. I'm getting sick, I'm going to make her sick, She can't afford to be sick, blah, blah, blah. I told her I'm keeping my germs in my cubicle, don't worry about it. That made it worse. She went to our boss!! (Who is perpetually sick) Boss asked if I sneezed directly on her. MI says no. Boss tells her to go back to work.

Now I'm doing anything I can to make myself sneeze again.

 

[curlybop]

I'd have to "fake sneeze" about 4 times in a row. Add a cough or two in there just for effect, followed by a good throat clearing. Maybe she'll get upset & go home.

 

[Hedy]

I sneezed twice today. Twice in 6 hours. She made a big stink. I'm getting sick, I'm going to make her sick, She can't afford to be sick, blah, blah, blah. I told her I'm keeping my germs in my cubicle, don't worry about it. That made it worse. She went to our boss!! (Who is perpetually sick) Boss asked if I sneezed directly on her. MI says no. Boss tells her to go back to work.

Now I'm doing anything I can to make myself sneeze again.

 

[ilovejack02]

I sneezed twice today. Twice in 6 hours. She made a big stink. I'm getting sick, I'm going to make her sick, She can't afford to be sick, blah, blah, blah. I told her I'm keeping my germs in my cubicle, don't worry about it. That made it worse. She went to our boss!! (Who is perpetually sick) Boss asked if I sneezed directly on her. MI says no. Boss tells her to go back to work.

Now I'm doing anything I can to make myself sneeze again.

This lady is a hoot!!!!
Seriously though, what the heck is wrong with her???

 

[mirthmaiden]

SOmeone should have just told her the truth: Those damn French snuck it in when we weren't looking

That was their Trojan Horse copycat campaign. But we got advance intelligence on it and lobbed a tear gas grenade inside so they all had to come out. So much for the French invasion.

Miss Information is going to Vegas. Doesn't say too much about her trip, won't even tell you where she's staying. Very curious. Why would anybody want to go to Vegas just to look at flat land and a bunch of blinking lights that will cause you to need special eye drops for the rest of your life? And I know someone who stayed at this one hotel there, can't think of the name of it but there were all these guady-looking paintings on the ceiling and these ugly black boats floating around inside, and every one of the slot machines there were rigged to steal your money.

SHE'S NEVER, EVER BEEN THERE AND NEVER INTENDS TO GO!!! The whole table just sat and stared at her. We all then changed the subject You're way too hard on her. Can't you see this woman has a gift? She's psycho and we all need to heed her warnings.

No Miss Informations today, she was pretty quiet. BUT!!! She did get a beautiful floral piece today. I asked if it was her birthday, anniversary or??? Once again I get the I must have 2 heads look. They're for St Patrick's day, her sister sent them. "Are you Irish?" "No German" She also sent her sister flowers for St. Patty's day. Why not just buy yourself flowers and call it a day.

Sort of like I celebrate Cinco de Mayo by whipping up a batch of egg rolls and wonton soup. Hey, everybody's got their own style

Today's goodie...


One of the ladies here does a monthly calendar and besides the usual birthdays, anniversaries and vacations, she like to add little fun facts for the days. So for today it says "Swallows return to Capistrano" I don't think anything of it and then I hear

MI "That makes no sense."

Me "What doesn't?"

MI "The calendar. What are they swallowing in Capistrano today? And why do we need to know about it?"

Huh? There's something she didn't know about already?



So I google swallows return to Capistrano, print it out and lay it on her desk.

MI "Now why the h*** do I care about some stupid birds?"

Don't ever forget... it's her world. You're just living in it.

Rep: (in an indignant tone, like I am an idiot) Ma'am, many people drive to their destinations, including Hawaii.

Maybe you took a jet ski. It could happen.

Today's gem. I bought some Croc knock offs from Payless this weekend. I wore them to work today. Now they are not the ones with the holes in the toes they are the closed toe clog looking ones. They look fine with what I wear to work.

She looks down at my feet and says "WTH is that on your feet?"

Me "Shoes"

MI "They're too ugly to wear, change them when you go home."

Me "Nope, I like them."

MI "Are those those cheap a** rubber shoes? Oh great now I'm going to have to smell your stinky feet all day."

I think you shoul've told her that you saw on CNN that those cheap a** rubber shoes cure warts and she ought to think about trying some.

 

[mirthmaiden]

I'd have to "fake sneeze" about 4 times in a row. Add a cough or two in there just for effect, followed by a good throat clearing. Maybe she'll get upset & go home.

yeah, and take off those cheap a** rubber shoes to add some aroma. The smell might make her lose lunch.

 

[Shugardrawers]

I'd have to "fake sneeze" about 4 times in a row. Add a cough or two in there just for effect, followed by a good throat clearing. Maybe she'll get upset & go home.

I started to say something about telling her about the not quite Dis appropriate innuendo about sneezing but figured it would go waaaaaaaaay over her head anyway. Too bad because you could have had a lot of fun with that.

 

[harleyquinn]

I sneezed twice today. Twice in 6 hours. She made a big stink. I'm getting sick, I'm going to make her sick, She can't afford to be sick, blah, blah, blah. I told her I'm keeping my germs in my cubicle, don't worry about it. That made it worse. She went to our boss!! (Who is perpetually sick) Boss asked if I sneezed directly on her. MI says no. Boss tells her to go back to work.

Now I'm doing anything I can to make myself sneeze again.

You can do it!! Come on! I wanna know what she does then! lol

 

[Jennifer48]

Now I'm doing anything I can to make myself sneeze again.

Get some pepper and sniff it

 

[lyzziesmom]

Oh my... I wonder what she would say if you were to stand behind her and blow your nose?

 

[LadyShiva]

Pinch the skin right under your nose. It'll make your eyes water and you'll sneeze.

Brandie

 

[MagicalMom]

Ya know what could be a lot of fun? Tomorrow morning mention how your new pet bird, that you recently had shipped from over seas, has been sneezing a lot too & you sure hope you didn't catch anything from it.

Couldn't you just imagine how she's react!!!

 

[MagicalMom]

Or, if you could get your hands on a few chicken feathers you could really have fun. Sneeze a few times,then sprinkle the feathers around you desk. When she walks by & notices them, drop you head down & say "Geeez, I starting to feel like I have the flu!"

I know,I know, I'm terrible.