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CastawayJ

<font color=blue>The 10th Doctors faithful compani
Joined
Jul 4, 2006
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this is all I have typed up after my computer crashed, I still have to go back and edit, add in, etc
more on the way by the weekend if not tomorrow



It began with a death. It would end with a death. I do not begin to understand the world I call dreamscape, but I am glad I saw it and remembered. I know more about our world than perhaps our most brilliant scientists, our greatest leaders, our bravest soldiers or our very own 7-eleven dumpster diving hobo, Steve, will ever know.
At the age of sixteen, I was not too concerned with my uncle’s death. He made less sense than Steve did. Victor always knew exactly what anyone wanted, whether it was a Christmas gift, or a project done at work: he always pleased everyone. He took a while to do it, but now owns four of the world’s leading companies. I realize now how he misused the dreamscape, how I misused it.
After the funeral when the will was read, I found in my possession his ugly crystal earring. I only liked the thing because when dim sunlight hit it; more colors than any rainbow I have ever seen would come bursting out. With this entire mystique surrounding my mind, it melted. There was no more earring, just the crystal. My mom says I collapsed and dropped it, but I had entered my dream-sleep.
This is a place for your mind to sleep, no interaction between dreams occurs. One moment, I was at a wake. The next, the middle of a forest. The crystal was nor on a ring. I pt it on, hoping to return, like in the Narnia books, but instead it transformed into a dagger on my finger. This made me faint; I fell into whatever dream you have inside a dreams dream. In other words, I woke up.

I had been out for only a minute, but it felt like my sister Emma had been Crushing the air out of my lungs. She doesn’t bite or claw you. Just sits until you give in. It also sucks being a year younger. She doesn’t treat me like a sibling, perhaps if we had been twins. At least she gets me in with the right crowd at school. I may not have her talent, but it’s still fun.
We get home and Emma pulls out a thick wad of hundreds out of her purse. She got part of his “fortune” but we all know he owns the world. “I know your sad but that show was unnecessary. Here’s a twenty, now get over it.”
I don’t yet have my license but I took my dad’s, my, car. If we lived in a city they would probably know I was too young and check. But out here in the burbs I don’t think I will. There may be less of a crowd, but cars don’t get taken off the street. I had to go visit Thompson. I grabbed my new “prize” and ran off. It was now a silver ring, with a line of emerald and two lines of sapphire down the center. Thompson has always had my back when things got tough, and I wish to return the favor someday.
Somehow Thompson knew I was coming. She even held out her arms and cried with me. After a long moment, she stuck out her palm and I handed over the ring.
“What’s this? You haven’t told Emma I steal your pity money?”
“Oh that,” was my reply as I pulled out half the cash, not everything goes to her. “But this was what my uncle left me.”
“And a car, I assume your dad got the Ferrari?”
“You forgot about the jet skies”
“Did I ever mention how I love you not having cousins?”

We walked inside and she brought us some cola. We walked up to her room and she pulled out a bunk attachment on her bed. It was only a cot but it would always be mine. Now, don’t think this is sketch, I love her, but we have never slept with each other sexually. After a rough day I wanted to lie down. We talked about how Emma and my mother would react to our newfound money. We even discussed the weather, hoping it would snow the next day.
My face is numb, but my jaw hurts. “wha was that fohr” I mumble. Thompson woke me up by beating on my face. When we fight, she wins; so this wasn’t completely fair.
“Don’t! You! Ever! Dare! Kiss! Me! Again! You! Perv! Even! In! My! Dreams! I’m going to kill you!!!” yet the best she could do was throw a ring at me. My ring! I had forgotten she had it. I put the ugly thing back on.
“Look, I’ve been out cold, I never kissed you. Um… Amanda! That name ring a bell?”
“Keep dreaming kid- and I think I will too- I guess I overreacted. It was so real, unlike any dream I have ever had. Sides, your cute and Amanda doesn’t know what she’s missin,” she winks and inside I died. It was almost as if I had lost all civilized human left and resorted to **** sapiens instinct. I don’t think she noticed, but that was sure what she wanted.
 
no comments?????

matt!!! read it now
 
OMG Josh!!! That is awesome. It's brilliant, verry good. I didn't know you could write like that. I can't wait for updates, it's a great story so far. :thumbsup2
 

AWESOME job J. I definatly like it! Great detail and just awesome in general. Just use a few more comas in for when you like to pause in certain places. Other then that, incredible job!
 
That is sooo good! I could never write like that! I try to write but i can only get a small story from my subject :confused3 But that was really good! Your a great writer! :)
 
Josh, that's GREAT! :hug:

I have tried, but I cannot write like that!
 
Josh, that's GREAT! :hug:

I have tried, but I cannot write like that!
I added more since I last posted (only had 1 page then)
and I'm about 15 pages handwritten so far (only 3 of them are typed)
 
I didn't really read it, the last time I proof read the beginning..
But it would be easier to read if you had your indents in there..
Especially for the dialogue..
 
I didn't really read it, the last time I proof read the beginning..
But it would be easier to read if you had your indents in there..
Especially for the dialogue..

I'll get to work on that, in the last few months I've written about 30 pages by hand and now have to prfesional authers willing to put me in touch with an agent if I can finish before I graduate
 





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