My 18yr dd want to go to Disney without her family after graduations with a classmate

[Block Island]

Ask her just to check in via text very now and then.....or send you one photo a day so you can see she is ok.

 

[wdw71]

I really think that WDW is the ONLY place I would let my teenage daughter go by herself with a friend.
Carribbean- no
Europe - no
Cruise - no
Mexico - NO WAY

Disney World - YES!!

 

[jasonflk]

This is great opportunity for both of you to get used to the separation and to give her more independence.

Things I would do with regard to the trip.
Get them to plan and book. With help if required.
Have a chat about what could go wrong and how to resolve issues.
Take them to the airport but not check them in let them do that.
Give them a good meal before the flight.
Ask them to send a text when they get there
Remind them that for emergencies I'm happy to send money if required, but if they've blown their budget they might not get anymore.

What I won't do is set a fixed day/time contacting regime this would be more for me than them to stop me worrying if they are a few minutes late reporting in. And it trains me to be ready for when they move away.

Obviously I'm not you and the above might not be useful but I won't be upset if you ignore it as well.

 

[the_princess]

Given that she's 18, I'm surprised she asked permission and even more surprised that you think you can deny her.

I'm not being sarcastic... I truly don't understand. Is she asking for you to pay for the trip?!?

This is exactly what I was thinking. If she is 18, she is an adult. I understand that you as a parent is worried about her going away on her own, but you can't tell her not to if she books and pays for everything herself. You can tell her that you won't pay, but that's it.
I have traveled all over the world since I was 18, lived in China and Egypt and learned so much from every single trip. My mom trusted me and knew that if anything happed I would contact her. Just let your DD know that if anything happens she can ALWAYS contact you. I had friends around that age who was afraid to tell their parents if they messed up because they were afraid of disappointing them. That's when they can get into real trouble.
Tell her to enjoy the trip and be proud of the fact that she wants to go to WDW and not to some place to party and get drunk.

 

[mom2rtk]

Some are saying she is 18 and an adult who doesn't need to ask. I might have missed it, but don't think the OP said who is paying for this trip. Or where the daughter lives. I think that if you still live under mom and dad's roof, and if they still pay your way, you're not actually an adult. (I'm not speaking about legalities, I'm speaking about practicalities). Adulthood to me is more about a process of becoming independent (in many ways, not the least of which is financially) than about an actual age.

I really am amused by comments I see on threads like this where people say at 18 they should just TELL their parents what they are doing and do it. But then that same "adult" asks the parents to pay for it, pay for their cell phone, pay for their car, pay for their college, pay for their food. Sorry, that's not adulthood.

That said, if my child had a plan for life after high school showing signs of responsibility (heading for college or having a job lined up) and wanted to go to Disney at 18 with some responsible friends, I would do everything I could to make that happen.

We can expect our children to be respectful of us and thankful for the things we provide, and they can expect us to be reasonable and try to help them do the things they want. It's very much a 2 way street. And that doesn't change when they turn some magical age.

OP..... I hope your daughter goes and has an amazing trip!

 

[sassie_kat]

My first thought upon reading this . . . "hmmm, just a little over 11 years and A1 can go to DW by himself??? . . . !!!!"

I know, I'm a horrible mom!

Anyway, I know it's been said already but yes, let her go. I wish I had done something to celebrate my HS graduation. I graduated in the morning, packed for camp all afternoon, went to my All Night Grad party, came home and slept all day then headed out to my summer job as a camp counselor. I worked all summer and came home with 4 days before I had to be on my college campus for orientation.

 

[MSSANDRA]

WDW is the perfect first travel alone trip. You will worry but you will never STOP worrying even when she is 40 so....... I agree to shared some learned travel tips and stress safety tips and ask that she call or text everyday out of respect for your sanity, but she will be fine. DS20 want to go to Africa on a mission trip.....now that sends chills down your spine but i said yes.


I was sorta concerned how life would change when DS turned 18 and "legal" but it really was no change at all. He was still in HS for several months and then started college but was home a lot and we were paying for school and he lived in our house and our house...our rules....but it has just never been an issue at all for us.

 

[Jasonkat]

The US government believes an 18 year old man is ready to grab a gun and go to Afghanistan.

I'm sure an 18 year old woman (and yes, she is a woman so start thinking of her that way) can handle going to Disneyworld!

 

[nchulka]

She is 18 and done with high school. She is an adult. She can do whatever she wants, vacation or otherwise. You don't have to fund it, but she can do what she wants. At this point the conversation should be "mom, xx and I are going to Disney!!", not "mom, can xx and I go to Disney??"

 

[3girls4me05]

The summer between my freshmen and sophomore year of college (I was still 18) I went to WDW for the first time ever with three of my friends. We rented what was then a trailer at FW. Our other friend was there staying at the GF with her parents but they were not responsible for us. We went for five days and had the time of our lives! We slept in and I made lunch then we headed to the parks till closing. One of those friends eventually became my SIL when she married my brother years later. I am still close friends with all but one of them. We laugh and tell stories about our Disney days. What a fun trip!
She will be fine. It is a great place to go with your friends. Enjoy!

PS and my trip was before cell phones etc.. My parents had no way to keep tabs on me.

 

[tartemis]

PS and my trip was before cell phones etc.. My parents had no way to keep tabs on me.

I read an interesting article a year or so ago that stated that kids were less confident, more anxious and less able to problem solve because of cell phones. They used the example of how 20 years ago a kid may be faced with a situation where his parents were late (or even forgot) to pick him up after practice and the kid either had to (1) wait a while longer or (2) figure out what to do next. I remember being in that situation as a kid. But, they said that scenario doesn't happen anymore, because the kid can be on the phone in 2 seconds and reach the parent (or someone else) and the problem is solved.

Now, I'm not trying to say that kids shouldn't have cell phones -- it was just an example. But, the article really shaped the way I parent and I try to give my kids the freedom to be independent and figure things out on their own -- even at very young ages (in an age-appropriate manner). It is an invaluable life skill.

 

[buzzrelly]

I read an interesting article a year or so ago that stated that kids were less confident, more anxious and less able to problem solve because of cell phones. They used the example of how 20 years ago a kid may be faced with a situation where his parents were late (or even forgot) to pick him up after practice and the kid either had to (1) wait a while longer or (2) figure out what to do next. I remember being in that situation as a kid. But, they said that scenario doesn't happen anymore, because the kid can be on the phone in 2 seconds and reach the parent (or someone else) and the problem is solved.

Now, I'm not trying to say that kids shouldn't have cell phones -- it was just an example. But, the article really shaped the way I parent and I try to give my kids the freedom to be independent and figure things out on their own -- even at very young ages (in an age-appropriate manner). It is an invaluable life skill.

When I was 17, I was at a party with 3 girlfriends. On the way home, her car died and we had to walk in almost pitch blackness to try to find a pay phone. A man ended up picking us up and bringing us to his house to let us use his phone. I think back on this night and I don't know what the heck we were thinking!! It gives me chills just thinking that we were so stupid and trusting of a complete stranger!

A cell phone would have come in mighty handy in that situation!!

 

[3girls4me05]

I read an interesting article a year or so ago that stated that kids were less confident, more anxious and less able to problem solve because of cell phones. They used the example of how 20 years ago a kid may be faced with a situation where his parents were late (or even forgot) to pick him up after practice and the kid either had to (1) wait a while longer or (2) figure out what to do next. I remember being in that situation as a kid. But, they said that scenario doesn't happen anymore, because the kid can be on the phone in 2 seconds and reach the parent (or someone else) and the problem is solved.

Now, I'm not trying to say that kids shouldn't have cell phones -- it was just an example. But, the article really shaped the way I parent and I try to give my kids the freedom to be independent and figure things out on their own -- even at very young ages (in an age-appropriate manner). It is an invaluable life skill.

I will say that my 16 yr old was not picked up by my parents last week (they forgot). It was a day I had accidently left my cell at home. Her problem solving skills amazed me. She tried me, her dad and finally got her sister at home. Sister tried me at work where I had already left but did speak to the secretary and left a very professional message for me. She finally walked home to meet up with me there so I could drive her to work. I was so proud of the way they both handles the situation on their own.

 

[MrsDanielle]

The summer after I graduated high school I traveled to France with 2 girl friends. I was only 17, they were most likely 18. Ah the summer of 2000 will always be a fond memory for me. We had a blast strolling along the streets of Paris, and getting lost in Nice! The following year I went to Europe on my own for around 6 weeks. It was just me, my backpack and a Eurorail pass, and I loved every minute of it! I suppose every family operates differently, but when I made these plans I didn't ask my parents permission to go, I simply told them about my plans and a rough idea of my itinerary. And yes I footed the entire bill myself!

Although I've always been an independent sort, I would imagine that most 18 year olds would be okay on their own at Disney. Plus, is she not going away to university this year? It could very well be a great testing ground for her to develop a bit of independence...well in any case, good luck with your decision!

 

[goofy4tink]

My dd went to WDW with two of her friends last June, right after her graduation party!!! All three girls have been to WDW before and were all familiar with where to go. Yes, I was worried about her flying for the first time without me. But in all reality?? What would I do if there was an issue on the plane with her?? Nothing.
They did very well...stayed at BWV. They had direct flights.
The only issue they had??? They got checked in at RAC for their flight home. They got on the DME bus and got to the airport. They went through security and headed to the gate. Well...they sat there chatting for awhile. People were coming and going at the gate. After about 90 mins or so, dd overhead an announcement saying it was last call for their flight....at a different gate!!! The girls had never checked, when they got to MCO, or at the gate, to be sure their flight was still scheduled for that gate!!! They flew out of their seats and ran to the neighboring gate. Thank God they were flying JB out of MCO rather than Delta out of Atlanta!!!!! There's a good lesson learned there.

But, other than that? They did very well. Had a ball and I know that my dd feels a little more competent after that experience.

As Crush says.....you have to let them go so they can grow!!!

 

[TooLittleTooLate]

I don't think you really have the option to "let" her go. She is 18. She is a legal adult that can vote, enter contracts, purchase property, etc. When I was 18 I was living on my own, working two jobs, and taking care of my younger brother, and had been since I was 16.

Try not to worry too much. I know that seems hard because she is your little girl, but remember that you've taught her well. She knows what to do in X situation, and even if she doesn't it's WDW. There will be plenty of people around to help.

 

[despina]

I would definitely let them go but have some emergency plans in place:

some examples:

what happens if wallet is lost or stolen -- is there a back up plan for money
what happens if plane ticket is lost
what happens if i.d. is lost -- recommend having two forms of i.d. -- one for carrying with them into the parks like driver's license and one form to keep in the safe (like a passport) so they can fly home on their passport if driver's license is lost
what happens if suitcase doesn't arrive or is lost (suggest carry on only)
bring a small amount of cash into the parks each day / leave rest in the room safe.
Discuss where the non emergency care centers and hospitals are -- are they covered by their insurance? How much of a credit card limit do they have if a high dollar emergency happened?
Is their budget reasonable for food and incidentals?
I think that it would be reasonable to discuss what time they would be back in their hotel rooms each night. It's not like it is a curfew -- it's just a consideration that they could call each parent at a reasonable hour so the parents can go to sleep knowing that their kid is back in the hotel room safe and sound and not be worrying all night.
Does anyone live in the area that could help them if they get into trouble?

There are many books and I'm sure websites regarding single travel and single female travel that would be good to read to get more ideas.

In some ways -- 18 may be a safer age to travel than 21 because at 21 they can purchase alcohol legally.

What you have listed are things that I already am aware of since we are huge travelers. I am the most organized and prepared when it comes to travel, and she is too. It was just letting her go, worried momma here. But I am booking it, she will have a blast without me

 

[despina]

I don't think you really have the option to "let" her go. She is 18. She is a legal adult that can vote, enter contracts, purchase property, etc. When I was 18 I was living on my own, working two jobs, and taking care of my younger brother, and had been since I was 16.

Try not to worry too much. I know that seems hard because she is your little girl, but remember that you've taught her well. She knows what to do in X situation, and even if she doesn't it's WDW. There will be plenty of people around to help.

She may be 18, but she respects what I say. I'm footing the bill for this trip so I do have the say in this, especially since I offered the trip to her to begin with. I support her financially, she lives under my roof so I will give my 2 cents on what she does. She is not old enough to vote by the way

I know she will be fine at Disney, a mom will always worry about there kids at any age. Thanks

 

[FreeTime]

I say let her go!!! I am probably the minority here, but if Disney would allow younger kids to check in, I would probably let my girls go together when they are 17. They are 12 & 13 now and one morning came to me and told me that they looked online and found a room for them at the All Stars and airfare on SW. That they had X saved and would earn the rest. They then, in detail explained to me how they would check in and find their gate at the airport, what escalator they would go down to catch Magical Express, how they would check in at the hotel, how they had already decided, to make it fair, who would pick what to eat each day, and what parks they would go to each day, etc. I was quite proud of the independence that they were showing. I pointed out to them that there was one little problem...they aren't quite old enough!

I have already told them I will pay for them and a friend or 2 to go to WDW for graduation. If they pick somewhere else, it is on them. I wouldn't approve of them going to Cancun but know that they will either be independent with me or without me. Without me knowing would be worse. So whateve their choices are, even if I don't approve I will support their choices and give them advice, that hopefully they will listen to.

 

[despina]

She is 18 and done with high school. She is an adult. She can do whatever she wants, vacation or otherwise. You don't have to fund it, but she can do what she wants. At this point the conversation should be "mom, xx and I are going to Disney!!", not "mom, can xx and I go to Disney??"

At 18 she is a young adult and living in my home and being financially taken care of, so she has boundries in our home. She has much freedom and respects us enough to talk about things she would like to do.