My 18yr dd want to go to Disney without her family after graduations with a classmate

[despina]

The US government believes an 18 year old man is ready to grab a gun and go to Afghanistan.

I'm sure an 18 year old woman (and yes, she is a woman so start thinking of her that way) can handle going to Disneyworld!

Really???? LOL

 

[VAfamily1998]

She is an adult when she can vote at 21 years old. 18 she is a young adult and living in my home and being financially taken care of, so she has boundries in our home. She has much freedom and respects us enough to talk about things she would like to do.

Does Massachusetts have different voting laws than the rest of the US? I thought the voting age was 18.

 

[despina]

That depends on how they were raised. I "let" mine go to NYC this week for spring break and she is 21. She is away at school as well and flew out from the city where she attends school. She will still ask us about things like this. She has respect for her parents, she knows we work had to pay for her school and trips like this and respects our opinions.

I would not have "let" let her go to Cancun.

I agree Art1, 18 does not mean me being a parent is over...I will "let" her go to Disney, not her telling me she's going. I started this thread, and I offered her to chance to go and after I did was feeling worried about letting her go and thats why I posted for some resassurance. She will go with her friend because I "let" her. I am footing the bill and she will have a blast !!

 

[despina]

She is traveling to Disney and will have a blast...thanks everyone!

 

[despina]

Does Massachusetts have different voting laws than the rest of the US? I thought the voting age was 18.

Its 18, 21 to drink like the rest of the US!!

 

[Gorechick]

I went with a serious boyfriend when I was 19. I had gone 2 years prior with my high school choir group. We performed for Magic Music days at the Fantasy Faire stage ( no longer there) around July 4th 1987. Of course I fell in love with WDW that first trip. Went back with BF before I went off to college. We stayed at the Contemporary because we weren't old enough to rent a car and wanted to be on the monorail route.

 

[Baliezer]

She may be 18, but she respects what I say. I'm footing the bill for this trip so I do have the say in this, especially since I offered the trip to her to begin with. I support her financially, she lives under my roof so I will give my 2 cents on what she does. She is not old enough to vote by the way

I know she will be fine at Disney, a mom will always worry about there kids at any age. Thanks

Wow I would really try to change your attitude about your daughter. The only reason I say something is because, I was the 18 year old daughter. My mom was so controlling and wanted to keep tabs on everything I did. I had to report to her constantly and ask her if it was ok first. She would never let me stay out late with friends. In fact, I ended up "running away from home" when I was 18, and did not speak to my mom for two years. You are heading down that same path if you do not lighten up. My mom said the exact same words you have written to me.

Your daughter is 18. She is an adult. Offer guidance, support and advice. Don't restrict her.

 

[VAfamily1998]

She may be 18, but she respects what I say. I'm footing the bill for this trip so I do have the say in this, especially since I offered the trip to her to begin with. I support her financially, she lives under my roof so I will give my 2 cents on what she does. She is not old enough to vote by the way

I know she will be fine at Disney, a mom will always worry about there kids at any age. Thanks

If she is 18, she IS old enough to vote. If you are not allowing her to, through threats, intimidation, or actually physically preventing her, that is illegal.

 

[mom2rtk]

Wow I would really try to change your attitude about your daughter. The only reason I say something is because, I was the 18 year old daughter. My mom was so controlling and wanted to keep tabs on everything I did. I had to report to her constantly and ask her if it was ok first. She would never let me stay out late with friends. In fact, I ended up "running away from home" when I was 18, and did not speak to my mom for two years. You are heading down that same path if you do not lighten up. My mom said the exact same words you have written to me.

Your daughter is 18. She is an adult. Offer guidance, support and advice. Don't restrict her.

Her daughter is not you. And she is not your mother.

Lots of very good parents still put limits on their 18 year olds. The trick is in getting the right balance.

Being an adult is not a magical age. Turning into one is a process and does not happen overnight on an 18th birthday. Hopefully the OP has done a good job and the daughter is well on her way. I don't fault her for exressing hesitation since she is going ahead with it. I think that is only normal.

If the 18 year old in this thread was fully an adult she would be living out on her own and by virtue of that would not need to consult with her parents at all about vacations.

 

[mom2rtk]

If she is 18, she IS old enough to vote. If you are not allowing her to, through threats, intimidation, or actually physically preventing her, that is illegal.

It is entirely possible that the now 18 year old was too young during the last election. Not sure why the need to jump to conclusions.

On the other extreme, I begged my 19 year old to vote last November, but I couldn't get him too. And it's highly likely he was going to vote for the opposing candidate.

 

[Mjtsmami]

I went the spring break of my senior year. We had a blast! I don't remember checking in every night with my parents, but I remember having to call when we landed in MCO. I probably checked in a few times that trip...my mom tends to worry a lot.

That being said, I did ask my parents if I could go. They paid for it. I used money from work as my spending money. I was living at home (like most high school seniors do) and didn't plan on moving out for awhile. And no, I don't consider a college student 'living on their own' either, as long as their parents are paying tuition and other expenses, so I say that the parents still have a say over what happens somewhat.

 

[the_princess]

Really???? LOL

I'm sorry, but I don't get your attitude. You ask for advice but seem very defensive every time someone mention that being 18 means that she is old enough to decide for herself.

 

[Jasonkat]

Wow I would really try to change your attitude about your daughter. The only reason I say something is because, I was the 18 year old daughter. My mom was so controlling and wanted to keep tabs on everything I did.

My wife's parents were the exact same way. They wanted her to know who was boss. When she'd come home for christmas, spring, summer breaks from college they'd still have a curfew and control how many times she could go out. When she was 23 and had graduated college her parents encouraged her to move back home because the office of her new job was 8 miles from their house so there was no need to waste money on rent.. But her parents didn't change and still tried to dominate her: Our House = Our Rules; "We're paying your way so you OWE US"

Needless to say she moved out within a month of graduation and hasn't talked to them since. Why would she? Her entire life the relationship was "I'm your parent you will do exactly what I say when I say OR ELSE!" There was no relationship beyond them controlling her. So when she moved out there was no relationship possible.

 

[VAfamily1998]

It is entirely possible that the now 18 year old was too young during the last election. Not sure why the need to jump to conclusions.

The OP said she ISN"T old enough to vote. Current. That is not "jumping to conclusions, it's is going by what the OP said. "She is 18...she is not old enough to vote."

 

[mom2rtk]

The OP said she ISN"T old enough to vote. Current. That is not "jumping to conclusions, it's is going by what the OP said. "She is 18...she is not old enough to vote."

Sorry I was just confused by your comment about the OP perhaps preventing her from voting.

 

[sunnydays28]

My wife's parents were the exact same way. They wanted her to know who was boss. When she'd come home for christmas, spring, summer breaks from college they'd still have a curfew and control how many times she could go out.

In my parent's house, I respect their rules. While I never had a curfew in High School, I did have to tell them what my plans were for the evening, who I was with and what time I may be home. If something changed drastically from those plans or I was going to be home much later, I was to call them. When I came home for college breaks, same thing. They were allowing a place to stay, laundry, cable, phone and food, the least I could do was follow their rules.

As your wife found out, don't want to play by their rules, then leave. Of course they could be more controlling than others, but they have every right to say my house, my rules.

And typical college freshman are not completely on their own either, they live in dorms, have floor rules, RAs to go to, professors and advisors that show interest in what is going on with their daily lives. So it's not like in the fall she is going to be completely on her own with no one to help her out.

I would have the same questions and hesitations, OP, but good on you for talking it out and letting her go. I am hopeful that my now-4 year old will want a WDW vacation for graduation.

 

[Love Tink]

The OP said she ISN"T old enough to vote. Current. That is not "jumping to conclusions, it's is going by what the OP said. "She is 18...she is not old enough to vote."

I have to comment that despite the OP not knowing what legal voting age is...I think it is kind of cool that she said she will consider her daughter an adult when she is old enough to vote. Very civic minded and kind of a nice way of looking at things.

A lot of people seem to think adulthood starts when you are old enough to drink alcohol legally. Dumb.

Personally, I think adulthood starts when you begin making most of your own decisions and having to take responsibility for your own life. For a lot of people that happens at 18 or 22. (For some not until 30 and for some unfortunate ones, 14.) But it should certainly be something a good parent encourages, rather than discourages, in their child. Sounds like that's what the OP is doing in this case.

 

[Eliza'sMom]

I went with a friend at 18. We had another friend in the college program and he got us a super-cheap room off-site and free tickets. He also drove us to the beach one day and we took a cab to Universal and anywhere else we wanted to go without him. We were fine. It sounds like it would be even easier for your daughter staying on-site the whole time.

 

[despina]

Wow.. All I asked for was your opinion on letting her go with a friend...yeah she's 18. Just because she's 18 doesn't mean she is gonna do anything she wants. She has alot of freedom but still needs guidance from her parents. So enough with the .. She can do what she wants, she is 18 . Never said Im the boss!! Just being a worried mom, is that okay still if she's 18???

 

[despina]

If she is 18, she IS old enough to vote. If you are not allowing her to, through threats, intimidation, or actually physically preventing her, that is illegal.

Are you okay?? Why would you wrote something like that?? I never said I'm here boss, Im her mom and will give my 2 cents!! Geezzz