My 13yr old doesn't want to go now???

[OurDogCisco]

I'm always amazed when parents come to this realization. I too would never plan a vacation during school time. School is number one in our house. But what I find weird is that if a school was telling you couldn't vacation during school time you all be having a fit because someone else is telling you how to raise your children. Now, that your dd is telling you you aren't having any isssues with it. I'm not sure what the difference is. Anyways, I think it is very responsible for her to say it is too much to miss. I definitely go without her.

Just to let you know there are other cruise lines and other vacations that are much cheaper that you can take during school holidays. Just a thought...

 

[Wadekind]

We used to love to vacation in September/October weather was good and prices were cheaper. We always took our kids out when they were younger but by the time the oldest reached 5th grade we could see that taking them out of school for more than a couple of days gave them way too much to make up and could really put them behind. Yes they could make up the book work but they would still miss the learning part that the teacher passed along in the classroom. One of ours has AP classes now and there is no way we could take him out for a week.

 

[HappyontheLake]

That was one of the hard things we realized when we stopped homeschooling and switched to first a private school and now public school (happily each time). We were no longer able to vacation during the non peak, least expensive times. But ... we always maintained that are values were that God & family first, education second, everything else after that ... and yes that meant vacations came after education. So we have to save a little more and a little longer (and maybe take a cheaper room) to take that beloved vacation.

But we do not pull the kids out of school -- illnesses do that enough for us.

 

[sjsjbrook]

I probably should have clarified That would be BEST FRIEND , and I've already talked to her parents and they said it would be fine. Maddie is a straight A student and is already taking sophmore Eng, Math classes. Those classes have alot of homework. So I understand her not wanting to miss school. My second grader only had 7 papers to do last time, easy.

PHEWWWW I was really in shock for a moment.


I have never had my kids not want to join me on vacation in fact they are all looking forward to our next trip next year. (shhh it is during school though. teeheehee) I would say if she doesn't want to go and you are ok with her staying behind and you trust the family she is staying with, you just saved yourself some money. I know as a child I choose to stay behind with my grandparents instead of going on a vacation and I have never regretted it and I was much younger than 13.

 

[Stinasmom]

I guess I am one who looks at the big picture...
How much work will my DD miss in a week (she's also in the 8th grade) and what will the future ramifications really be?

She's a great student and will make every effort to make up the work, even though just last night she cringed at the thought. But even if she gets a bit of a lower grade (A to A- in her case) in a class, its ONLY the 8th grade!

A week with her parents, brother and grandparents on the Disney Magic is .... MAGIC and will gain her memories and experiences that will take her much farther in life than 1 week of 8th grade work.
And, she's knows exactly what she'd be missing by not going, she LOVES DCL!

Now that said, as she gets into high school, I realize that her work and grades DO have future consequences... primarily getting into the college of her choice.
So, this (March) cruise will likely be the last where she will miss that much school.

It is totally a family decision. Everyone has to decide what is right for them. This is just my reasoning.

Good luck!

 

[Luvstocruise]

As long as her reasons are really the main ones, does the equation change if the boyfriend is asked to come along? Maybe a long shot, but if that was the case, it would be win/win situation for parents and the child. If there is room, the additional cost of adding a 4th passenger is not all that bad in many cases.

I am glad my 12 year old son can't wait to go on his first cruse. It doesn't hurt that we are going to be traveling with another family where he chums around with a boy his age. I can't help wondering if in some cases, where kids have been on 5 or more Disney cruises, especially if is to the same ports, etc. maybe they are sick of cruising? What is our dream vacation, may not be the child's - frankly my son couldn't care less about food, he'd eat burgers, fries, etc. Also, we don't have the bf gf dynamic to worry about with our son, but I can understand that relationships (as much as it may be puppy love) can be more important to young teens. Each kid is different I guess.

Luvstocruise

 

[Anal Annie]

I also would never plan a week long vacation during the school year (DS is in 8th grade and is taking Honors Geometry so that comes first). I might plan for a flight that leaves in the late afternoon where I'd have to pick him up from school a little early or something if that's what I had to book. But I wouldn't plan to take him out for a week. He would hate the make-up work on top of his regular homework. We're hoping to get him into an APPS program next year in HS which considers not only grades but attendance so we're not even letting him swim in any meets with Friday events (it's a private team). Even though extra curricular sports would be excused by his school it would still be an absence on his attendance record. He's not going to the Jr. Olympics so he can swim whatever events are offered on Saturday & Sunday but I'm not pulling him out for Friday swims.

While I understand the OP's situation with the additional expense & DH's work I would just save longer & plan for a school holiday for vacations if my DH refused to vacation in the summer (or I'd go without him)!

 

[breakingd_awn]

I would not have scheduled a family trip at a time it conflicts with school.

Priorities. Good for your daughter for thinking ahead.

I have priced them in the summer and it really IS NOT an option for us. I wish we had the money to go in the summer but it really is alot more expensive. Plus we always get the cheapest room possible anyway just so we can afford to go in Feb which is one of the cheapest times.If our only choice was cruising in summer then we wouldn't be able to go at all. I guess some families are lucky to have that luxury... others don't .I'm just happy to be able to take them in Feb . So please don't flame people because of their financial situations. I'm doing the best I can to give my kids what I never had as a child ...which was no vacation at all. I was 36 before I even saw the ocean or flew on a plane.I would gladly take them but am not going to force them to go.

 

[loveadobie]

Even though she is in 8th grade, what is expected of her is a whole lot more than when we are in school.

Schools have lots of breaks through the year. Schools give out their school calendars early for time for planning.

If it is a family trip how much fun will she have worrying about making sure she gets her homework done. Even though she is out of class, the class moves on without her. Not a flame, just reality.

 

[disney11fan]

Our daughter has not joined us the last 2 years. Our son has a blast and is always ready to go. She has all AP and honors classes and does not like having to make up all that work. When we were young I was always ready to miss school.

sounds like your daugheter knows whats best for her. let her stay home. \

disney will always be there. school is too important .

never i mean never take kids out of school to go on vacation.

 

[disney11fan]

Even though she is in 8th grade, what is expected of her is a whole lot more than when we are in school.

Schools have lots of breaks through the year. Schools give out their school calendars early for time for planning.

If it is a family trip how much fun will she have worrying about making sure she gets her homework done. Even though she is out of class, the class moves on without her. Not a flame, just reality.

alot more is expected out of kids today. plan your trips when the kids are out of school. don't go when its best for you. kids come first and so does school.

enough said.

 

[disney11fan]

why ..why would any parent take there kids out of school for a vacation. just because its cheaper or its better for the parents to go doesn't make it right.

school first...vacation second...

 

[DMMarla07860]

Let her stay home, I know I didn't want to miss school and not because of work, I wanted to see my friends

 

[Lorajo]

I only have a toddler so I haven't dealt with the school issue yet. But, we always travel in January as it is the only time that we can take a full two weeks off due to our work. We work in the same small office and that is our quiet time. I'm very glad our quiet time isn't in March when it is so much more $$$ to travel!

Whether I will take our daughter out of school, I don't know yet. I was taken out as a child so I probably would. (Doesn't seem to be as big a deal here in Canada) However, if she couldn't miss school, I wouldn't just go without her. I would figure something else out. How are you giving your kids what you never had if they can't come?

If it wasn't a big deal to the teachers, I would take her out. Otherwise I would plan another vacation that we could afford when we could all go.

 

[breakingd_awn]

why ..why would any parent take there kids out of school for a vacation. just because its cheaper or its better for the parents to go doesn't make it right.

school first...vacation second...

Even when we took them out of school last year they still got caught up and got straight A's . They just didn't like catching up. I think whatever the family can afford is better I'm not going to go into debt for a cruise...that would'nt benefit my family at all.I just feel blessed and fortunate to be able to take them when it's financially best for our family.I think just having that experience is what matters most.Alot of kids never even have the experience of traveling. If I didn't believe in school first my kids wouldn't be getting straight A's along with playing sports.

 

[northyvr]

why ..why would any parent take there kids out of school for a vacation. just because its cheaper or its better for the parents to go doesn't make it right.

school first...vacation second...

Everyone has a different idea of what constitutes education. What my 2 children have experienced first hand in terms of history and education while traveling Europe can't be replicated by sitting in a classroom. Don't be so quick to judge.

BTW, it should be "their" kids not "there". Your homophone is incorrect.

 

[breakingd_awn]

This isn't about our schools not wanting them to go... They are OK with it...my teens JUST DON'T WANT TO GO!!! I did give them the experience I never had with our first cruise, I thought they would want to go again,They complained the whole time.Oldest 15 doesn't want to leave her friends or school. My 13yr old doesn't want to make up work and said even if she didn't have to make it up she still wouldn't want to go. THEY JUST DON'T WANT TO GO . I was just asking if anyone else's teens didn't want to go with them .... I always thought this was a considerate forum....geez

 

[clawmachine]

I was given the privilege of raising my three kids and I make the decisions on their behalf and in their best interest until they are adults and on their own. I would not give my child a choice in this matter. I am not going to repeat everything I've said in other posts but let's just say I never took breaks from school, got all A's, won scholarships, got into a great school and got a great job and all that stuff and REGRET being so serious all the time about it!! I wish we had taken more special trips when I was young! I seriously doubt a week here and there would have had any negative long-term effects AT ALL.

 

[peachygreen]

This isn't about our schools not wanting them to go... They are OK with it...my teens JUST DON'T WANT TO GO!!! I did give them the experience I never had with our first cruise, I thought they would want to go again,They complained the whole time.Oldest 15 doesn't want to leave her friends or school. My 13yr old doesn't want to make up work and said even if she didn't have to make it up she still wouldn't want to go. THEY JUST DON'T WANT TO GO . I was just asking if anyone else's teens didn't want to go with them .... I always thought this was a considerate forum....geez

I just have to ask, if they dont' want to go and will spend the entire vacation grumbling about it, why not plan a family vacation that your teens will want to do with you? I've seen it said many times that cruising isn't for everyone, why do "we" assume that our children should enjoy it if "we" don't expect all adults to enjoy it? Is there something or somewhere your girls would rather go or do they just not want to do a family vacation period? If it is the later I would say tough but if it is just that a cruise was not a fun/enjoyable experience I don't know that I would want to spend the money again for them to not have fun/enjoy it?

 

[Anal Annie]

I have priced them in the summer and it really IS NOT an option for us. I wish we had the money to go in the summer but it really is alot more expensive. Plus we always get the cheapest room possible anyway just so we can afford to go in Feb which is one of the cheapest times.If our only choice was cruising in summer then we wouldn't be able to go at all. I guess some families are lucky to have that luxury... others don't .I'm just happy to be able to take them in Feb . So please don't flame people because of their financial situations. I'm doing the best I can to give my kids what I never had as a child ...which was no vacation at all. I was 36 before I even saw the ocean or flew on a plane.I would gladly take them but am not going to force them to go.

The cost of a summer vacation is one factor we must consider too. That's why we don't cruise every year like a lot of DISers but rather about once every 3 years and we try to book SPH cabins. We take a long time inbetween to save & plan - and we're only 3 people. It's still a lot for our measley budget. This next time we're taking advantage of a rebooking discount that we pushed & moved over & over until we felt we could afford to use it. Just a suggestion for next time. Rebook onboard for the discount & OBC - book a dummy date & keep moving it forward until you CAN afford to go when the whole family can go with other obligations weighing you down.

BTW you're not the only one who didn't grow up with major family vacations. My family tent camped & fished for a week on the South Branch of the Potomac river EVERY FREAKIN' summer when I was kid - finally when I was in HS my parents sprung for a 17' camper. WHOO HOO - no more wet sleeping bags or outhouses. This did not make up for the fact that I still hated camping & fishing - especially by the time I was about 16. But no matter how bad I hated it NOT going was NOT an option. I'm just saying... Most of us have been there in one way or another.