Mother's Day without child?

Discussion in 'Coping and Compassion' started by onesadduck, May 5, 2007.

  1. onesadduck

    onesadduck Not so sad right now

    Mar 16, 2007
    Hi everybody,

    This will be the first Mother's Day for my family since my little sister died two months ago. My mother is, understandably, extremely depressed. My older sister and I are coming home for Mother's Day weekend. We spoke on the phone earlier today and had a conversation wondering what we could/should do for her. I bought her a book on dealing with the loss of a child, and my sister is bringing her a bouquet of her favorite flowers.

    Also, we are going to my grandparent's house on Mother's Day. My aunt also died recently, so there will be two grieving mothers to support. I feel kind of like this day will only rub their losses in, right now. But I do want to show my appreciation. They have done so many great things for my sisters and I. My little sister had a wonderful life because of them (and my father and grandfather, as well- but we'll cross the father's day bridge when we get to it).

    My little sister was afriad of jewelry, and many other random harmless things (and yet she was able to face her illness with amazing courage). Would getting my mother a necklace or something she couldn't have with my sister be okay? Or should I get her something my sister would have chosen for her? Or should I just not think about that? My big sis wants to get her a gift certificate to a store that sells nice suits or something because my mom who has been out of work since my sister was born will probably go back. I think it's a good idea but it might be too painful for her. The problem is if we get her a gift certificate, we have to make sure she has to spend it on herself, or she'll spend it on other people because she is so selfless.

    I am completely lost as to what to get my grandmother. So far I only have the hand-made card, which is blank, becuse I have no clue what to write in it. She's still worrying about me, and if I'm okay, and do I need anything from her.

    I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions, experience to share, or is experiencing the same thing right now.

    Thank you in advance,
  2. Mackey Mouse

    Mackey Mouse <font color="blue">Me read the Navigator? I don't

    May 21, 2000
    I love jewelry as a gift and sometimes you can make it so special... I was thinking what about a locket and then maybe she can put a picture of her children in it and wear it around her neck..not just your sister but all of you together.

    I have one with my 3 daughters in it and I wear it with another locket with my husband in it... I never travel without it, and I love knowing they are with me when I wear it..

    Whatever you two decide will be the right thing for it seems you are putting lots of thought in it to make it special for Mother's Day....I am sure she is so sad, but knowing that you two are trying to make it special for her may get her through..

    Hugs to you both...
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  4. safetymom

    safetymom Super Moderator

    Aug 13, 2001
    I am so sorry to hear about your sister. I am sure it will be tough for all of you. Just give the gift you think she would like.
  5. daisy2

    daisy2 DIS Veteran

    May 9, 2005
    I am so sorry to hear about your sister. It's very hard for a parent see their children pass before them. I also think the Jewelry will be a great gift. Just a thought maybe a birthstone of each of you girls in a ring or a necklace. But just a suggestion whatever you do your mom will be happy with it. Again I am so sorry to hear about your loss.
  6. rie'smom

    rie'smom <font color=green>"Always let your conscience be y

    Sep 13, 2005
    :hug: Your mama will love whatever you give her.
  7. kimis

    kimis DIS Veteran

    Nov 9, 2005
    I recently loss my mother and in the past watched her as my two brothers passes away. When the boys would pass ( the first from cancer and the second in an accident) she would call them her angels. So she began to collect angel pins.
    I think a necklace with images of her three girls would be beautiful for your mom. And why you are at it maybe an angel pin.
  8. GoofyGolferGirl

    GoofyGolferGirl DIS Veteran

    Apr 30, 2006
    Sorry to hear about the loss of your sister. I lost a DD in 1999 and I always like to wear a necklace with both my DD birthstone on it. Your mom could wear this to work and always feel like her children are with her.
  9. Avarelle

    Avarelle New DVC member! 04/2010

    Sep 8, 2006
    my mother-in-law just lost her son in january in a tragic car accident he was only 25. we just celebrated mother's day yesterday so i apologize for the late message but maybe you can use a similar idea for father's day or next mother's day. My husband surprised all of us mother's with tickets to Tarzan on Broadway. It was a wonderful idea because it got us all out of the house and the chance to spend time with each other ,which especially now we all feel is more important than any material gifts you could give.
    Also, as a mother of two children I also have to say that hand made cards, artwork, and gifts are the most cherished gifts I recieve from my kids on Mother's Day and I am sure that your mom (dad,grandma, grandpa,) would feel the same way too. I hope this helps you.
  10. healingtouch

    healingtouch Earning My Ears

    Jul 6, 2007
    A very heart rendering story this is no doubt about that and in such occasions we often are clueless as to how we should cope with the situation. As suggested by some others too I would like to do the same and that is to gift her something which she prefers the most with a hope that can rekindle her spirits somewhat. But a loss such as this as we all know can be hard to cope with but as a person we should do everything needful that can be at least of some consolation to the person concerned.

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