Mother vent... am I overreacting?

[twinmomplus2new]

Ok, I have finally calmed down from my nervous breakdown of earlier! I was here cooking for the holiday, My twins were in the sandbox outside the kitchen window. The house door is open and kids are going in and out. My Ds is watching tv, teasing brothers, Is physically under my feet. He says he is going to the end of the cul de sac to his friends house, I say ok. He comes back 2 minutes later says, Alec is not home yet, his Dad said come back in 10 minutes I say ok. But we are eating at 6. It was about 5-15. Then he goes back out, Opens the front door and yells, Mom I am going. I say ok. 45 minutes later I call Alec's and they say we sent him home and hour ago.

I start flipping out, running all over the neighborhood, noone has seen him. He is allowed 4 houses to the right end of cul de sac, and 3 to the left.

Now my mom this morning asked could he come over later and bake cookies. I said yes, she said later though< I said ok I will bring him about 6:30. Then I think would she have taken him and not told me? I ask all the neighbors did you see my moms van? Nope noone saw her. I call her cell no answer, house no answer, I am really freaking out, I throw the little ones in the car and go to my moms noones there.... I freak drive home again, Am ready to call the police, call her one morew time she answers, Says she thought she would save me the trip, and decided to take him to dinner first. She says he told you he was leaving. Yes he did told me to Alec's. I just can not believe the stupidity. I mean don't you make sure, I know you have him... She is mad at me, and saying I am over reacting after all where did I think he was. I am soooo mad.

 

[padams]

No, you are not overreacting, and compared to the reaction I would have had, you are underreacting! Take some deep breaths...[hugs}

 

[WhenUwishUponAstar]

I would have freaked clean out! IF it were my mother, if it were anyone else I would have to kill them. lol

Seriously though, people around me know I'm very in charge of my kid and they better not even think abuot stepping over the line.

Which IMHO she clearly did.

 

[themepark]

You are NOT overreacting. I would be furious if my mother or MIL just came by and took one of my kids without my knowing about it. I can't imagine how you felt while searching for him.

 

[doxdogy]

You are most definitely not overreacting. If my mom had done this she and I would have had a serious discussion.

 

[Pooh67_68]

NO you are not overreacting. I truly believe your Mother was out of line.

 

[twinmomplus2new]

I tried to talk to her about it, And her response was well you knew, He was gonna come here tonight, Well yes, But I was driving him to you at 6-30. If you were gonna come and get him why not make sure I know you changed the plan? And her response was well she did not want the little ones to see her and get upset that they were not going. Thats why she SNUCK off with him. She does not think she is wrong at all. And that is what sheb said snuck off with him, Hello if you are sneaking then doesn't noone see you?

This is just peachey it will make for a very tense Easter dinner tommorow.

 

[doxdogy]

I woud tell her that you understand that she didn't want to upset the younger ones. But next time to use her cell phone and call and tell you what she has done. Make sure that your son knows this too. That way he can remind her if she ever forgets.

 

[Serena]

Please keep Easter peaceful. Talk with her again tonight. Tell her you understand what she was trying to do, but you were terrified and ask her not to ever do that again. That with her being a mom, that you are sure she understands how if would feel if you had suddenly disappeared when you were little.
And then I would agree to drop the subject.

 

[twinmomplus2new]

No fighting here it's not worth it. Besides my son went out to the car, and told her he told me he was going. She just dropped hin off, and he said I told her I told you, I just didn't make sure you knew with her. So I guess It was mostly his fault.

 

[momm2four]

I can just imagine the panic you felt. One time, I took one of our sons with me to run an errand, and my poor DH was a little perturbed when I got back b/c he didn't know I had taken him. Needless to say, we do not leave the house with a child unless WE have specifically told the other who we are taking.

Lori P.

 

[AllyBri]

How awful for you. Cannot imagine what you went through. Maybe a third party could explain to your Mom what a scary thing she did (someone from outside the family)

 

[Stepharoonie!]

No, you weren't overreacting.

 

[KimRaye]

I would've been horrified and, I actually WAS myself this morning. Like momm2four said, my dH took my DD with him this morning and, when I woke up, I was frantically looking for her and, yelling her name and, nothing! I called his cell and told him to NEVER do that again without telling me first! He said he left a note which I obviously overlooked since I was looking for someone a bit bigger than a note!

And, I agree, your Mom could've phoned from her cell to say she was outside, which I imagine she would've had to do had your DS not been outside already. It surely wouldn't have hurt and, in this case, would've made a WORLD of difference.

Sorry this scare happened.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would say your mother used poor judgement. It happens.

She is mad at you & saying you are overreacting is adding another wrong to it.

The normal response is "I am sorry & next time I will make sure I call."

 

[Beast fan]

If my MOM EVER PULLED A STUNT LIKE THAT (not telling you she had the child), it WOULD be the last time.....PLAIN AND SIMPLE.

You did not overreact........ you are only "guilty" of being a good mom. Also, sounds like your "mom" needs a lesson in manners. I'LL VOLUNTEER!

Regards,
Dave

 

[CEDmom]

I'd be really angry at both my mom and child if they did something like this. From what you posted your DS lied to his grandmother which was really wrong. As far as what your mother did it wouldn't have taken much of an effort to send your DS inside to tell you where he was going or to call you or her cell phone. IMO she overstepped her boundary big time. I'd be very concerned that your mom didn't understand why you were so upset. If it were my DD the police would have been called right after I found out she wasn't where she was supposed to be.

 

[HaleyB]

First of all, you can't win fights with your Mother. Even a 'win' is not a win, so no fighting. It sounds like a comunication break down. I think your Mom has no idea how upset you were when you didn't know where he was. She was most likely under the impression that your son gave you more info at the door when he left. So she thinks you are all bent out of shape over nothing. The important thing here is to make sure she understands what happened so it will not happen again. So try to tell her how you felt with out blame. Remember that her intenttion was good, she was trying to help you out. That's my best advice on this. I am sorry you had such a scare, I know how upsetting it is.

--I somehow missed your 3rd post on this. Sounds like you figured out where the problem was. ---

 

[C.Ann]

Originally posted by twinmomplus2new
She is mad at me, and saying I am over reacting after all where did I think he was. I am soooo mad.

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NOT overreacting at all!!!! In this day and age - with all of these children being kidnapped right out of their own front yards?

Sorry, but if it were my Mom I would be FURIOUS with her!

Glad it all worked out and your son is okay..

 

[twinmomplus2new]

Went for Easter dinner and still after calmy talking to my mother, 3 times now, All the kids were going in and out of the house. My brother was out with my 3 year olds, He came in and I asked if an adult was out with them, and she said I know God forbid someone may take them!!!! So clearly she did not listen and still doesn't get it at all.