Mother-In-Laws(and future MIL's): What Do You Want To Be Called?

[lillygator]

I want to be called V...what everyone else calls me...but I am bad, I introduce my girls to elders usign first names, I shouldn't I know.

 

[Zandy595]

DH and I have been married for 13 years. I think when we first got married his parents wanted me to call them "Mom and Dad". I didn't like the idea and just didn't call them anything for several years. Now I call them by their first names. I have one mom and I'm not going to call anyone else that. My dad and I haven't talked in MANY years and it would feel really wrong calling FIL "Dad".

 

[Stitchfans]

My son in law didn't even ask me. He just assumed it was ok to call me by my first name. It doesn't make any difference to me one way or another. But my ex husband from what I hear wasn't pleased with it- IMO that is/was his problem.

 

[darlak]

My 2 son-in-laws call me by my first name. One of my daughters calls her MIL by her first name and the other calls her MIL "mom".

....and now I'm going to admit something that I've never admitted to anyone, now even my DH. I hate hearing DD call her MIL "mom". I haven't admitted that to anyone because I realize that it's childish and just plain silly, but the truth is it hurts my feeling just a little bit.

 

[MichelleVW]

I would never call my MIL "mom" and will not be inviting any future DIL to call me mom. It doesn't mean I won't be welcoming them into the family.

Same here, I have a Mom and I'm not calling anyone else Mom! I would expect my future son in laws to call me by my first name.

 

[MichelleVW]

....and now I'm going to admit something that I've never admitted to anyone, now even my DH. I hate hearing DD call her MIL "mom". I haven't admitted that to anyone because I realize that it's childish and just plain silly, but the truth is it hurts my feeling just a little bit.

It's not childish...it would bother me too. My DD17 just said, "I wouldn't call anyone else Mom!"

 

[disykat]

My BIL calls my Mom by her first name and it bugs her to no end. The bottom line, IMHO, is what the MIL herself wants to be called.

I'm curious what she wants to be called? Would she really prefer he call her Mom even if he doesn't want to do so? I guess I disagree with your bottom line.

I feel the same way about people who aren't related to my kids wanting them to call them grandma or aunt, etc. though. I'm pretty black/white about relationships.

I'd also have a hard time getting out "your highness" unless they were really royalty.

 

[Tat2ddisneymom]

My mother in law wants me to call her mom, but I can't. I already have a mom. I usually just call her "Hey you" or something.

If I were you, though, I would ask to be called by my first name. I, myself would feel awkward calling my MIL Mrs. ___, because that's who I am, too. I know she's not your DIL yet, but she could be someday. And that, I agree, is way too formal.

 

[Kath2003]

My boyfriend calls my folks by their first names. I call his by their first names. At the end of the day we're all adults, there's no need for Mr. or Mrs. once you've met a few times. It's a relationship, not a formal acquaintance.

I call the people I live with by their first names, too. They call me by mine

I would never call anyone but my Mum "Mum". They're not my Mum. Period.

 

[Barbossa]

I'm curious what she wants to be called? Would she really prefer he call her Mom even if he doesn't want to do so? I guess I disagree with your bottom line.

She wants to be called Mom also. I respectfully disagree with your disagreement. IMO, first I think it's a person's privilege to be called what he/she wants to be called. Second, I still believe in respect of one's "elders". My Mom is in the generation before my BIL, and is the mother of his wife. I think he should respect her wishes.

 

[Cool-Beans]

I prefer the title, "Her Royal Highness."

I'd never ask anyone but my own kids to call me mom. I don't call my MIL "mom" because she's not my mom and I don't want any DIL (future) calling me that.

She can call me by my name. If I like her, she can call me by my nickname. Maybe. After a while.

 

[Barb D]

I've already introduced myself to DD15's boyfriend (who is 17) as "Barb."

I met my in-laws when I was 17, and called them Mr. and Mrs. Lastname. Of course, now I'm Mrs. Lastname, and have been for the last 26 years. But to this day I still don't know what to call them. I just kind of avoid it. It got easier when we had kids and I could start calling them Grandmommy and Granddaddy!

 

[Zandy595]

My 2 son-in-laws call me by my first name. One of my daughters calls her MIL by her first name and the other calls her MIL "mom".

....and now I'm going to admit something that I've never admitted to anyone, now even my DH. I hate hearing DD call her MIL "mom". I haven't admitted that to anyone because I realize that it's childish and just plain silly, but the truth is it hurts my feeling just a little bit.

I totally understand that. Even if I felt comfortable calling my MIL "Mom", I would never do it because I wouldn't want to hurt my mom's feelings.

 

[Disney Ella]

My MIL and late FIL never asked me to call them anything so I never really felt comfortable calling them anything and avoided using any name.

I want to be called by first name from the very beginning. I don't like the formality of being called "Mrs." particularly by anyone my children are close to. Plus I would find it awkward to call someone "Mrs." for years and then all of a sudden be expected to switch to calling them by their first name.

 

[Sandy321]

Dated DH in high school - been married since graduating college - mostly I avoided calling mil and fil anything till they became Grandma Pat -

now my ds' friends all call me Mrs. ______ because they know me as a teacher!! DS gf always called us Mr/Mrs _______ and she was always sending us thank you cards!! Finally they became engaged and I asked her to call us by our first names - it was hard for her - but I persisted in teasing her when we were out (she even moved in with us while she did her internship - ds was still at college) I also asked her because she was part of the family verbal thank yous were fine - but I told her I was so impressed with her cards -

now she's comfortable calling us by our first names

 

[NikiM20]

Im sure my MIL does not like the name I use for her. But we dont talk ,so I dont have to worry about talking to her face

ETA DH calls my mom & stepdad by their first names, and my grandparents Mr & Mrs first name.

 

[Tiggernut_jadie]

I've called my IL's by their first names from the first day I met them. I might refer to them as Dh's mum or say to him 'your mum' but to their face they are Irene and Bob. In fact DFIL is more often called 'Bobby' by most of the family as his first DGS (DSIL's son) couldn't say grandad and just called him Bobby...and it kid of stuck!

I remember that my parents called each others parents mum and dad but as I lost both my parents before I'd met my now IL's it didn't feel right to call them mum and dad - especially as my mum had only been gone for 12 months and my dad for just 3 months when we first met.

 

[Steffi]

I like my DD's friends to call me by my first name. I don't like being called Mrs. Lastname.

Anyway, when DD gets married, I hope her husband will feel comfotable calling me by my first name...Mom would be even better, but I would never insist on it.

I don't call DD's mother anything at all. I don't think she's ever referred to me by name, either. And DH and I have been together for 19 years.

 

[Pigeon]

I'm not a mother-in-law yet, but I will want my dds' husbands to call me by my first name.

I'm not their mother, and Ms. Pigeon is just way too formal for a member of the family.

My ILs really didn't like me calling them by their first names, but I did ask repeatedly what they wanted to be called (besides mom and dad, which were NOT an option) and never got a response. I got sick of avoiding the issue and started calling them by their first names.

 

[punkin]

I call my in-laws by their first names. I only had one mother and no one else gets called that. I do call my DH's grandmother "grandma", but that's because I never called my own grandmother that and don't feel uncomfortable doing it.

My BIL always called my mother "Mom", but DH usually called her by her first name (this does not mean he didn't adore her, because he did). My sister always called her MIL "mom" as well.

I don't know if I'd be comfortable with any future SonsIL calling me "mom". It sounds funny to me, but I suppose it depends. Since oldest DD is 15, I guess that time is coming sooner rather than later.