Mother Advice Please! UPDATE!!!!

[Queenof5]

I have 3 (as of now) and when my youngest son was born, he did not say a word until he was 3 months from turning 3 years. His older sister and brother did all the talking for him, and he communicated fine with the little sign language we do teach or he just waited until someone payed attention to him to get what he needed. We tried to 'make' him talk and say things, he just didn't care to. When it was his time to talk, he spoke in full sentences.

I was worried for awaile and asked my ped what I should do, they said that I could have him evaulated if it continues. We never got him evaulated.

You know your child best, use your mothers instinct..it is the best kind out there.


PS..He never stops talking now

 

[jakoky]

Hi there, my son talked early but was quite hard to understand...he had an older sister that talked sentences by 18 months and his younger sister was speaking fluently at a year and half also....i took my son in to have his adnoids looked at when he was just about 4 and was told my son was almost completely deaf...i felt awful...anyways, long story short, rounds of antiobiotics and he could hear again, and with that, came his much improved speech...didnt take long for him to get his "k"s out so we could understand him...we realized after finding out that there were signs he wasnt hearing properly, but with 3 kids, his need to turn up the tv didnt clue me in, but i should have seen that he watched our mouths when we talked....anyways, i would have him looked at only because for our son, had we had it looked at earlier, he probably wouldnt have permanent mild hearing loss in one ear....as a mom, i think sometimes we do worry more, but many times we are right in our concern...
sharon

 

[GoinToDisney]

Another early childhood ed teacher and mom here. I agree, go for the evaluation. If there is an issue, the earlier he gets support, the better.

 

[staceyatdisney]

As with all health matters you need to take control of the situation and do what you feel needs to be done. Ask questions, make lists, do research and get second and third opinions. If the doctors you see don't like you asking so many questions or bringing up ideas/opinions, find different doctors. And go to the best. We're in NJ and are blessed with some of the best hospitals in PA and NY. Find the experts near you. Most importantly, follow your gut - mother's intuition is rarely wrong. Best of luck to you!!!!

 

[MaidMarian]

I just wanted to say Thank You for considering evaluation. I am currently dealing with a very different situation. My daughters been best friends with a little girl since they were two, they are now 4. They became very close friends as did the mother and I. We were very close, probably spending at least 10 hours a week together. From the start, I noticed something a little "off" with the daughter,but originally chalked it up to age and maybe she was a little babied. But behaviors became more pronounced as she got older. Plus the Mom was always mentioning little quirks her daughter has (LOTS of OCD behaviors, lack of empathy, etc). At her 2 year appointment she mentioned one of the OCD behaviors and her pediatrician said they should keep an eye on things so the Mom must have had a little bit of an inkling at least. This year the school had suggested speech therapy which she refused to consider. Finally as a friend I suggested at her 4 year appointment she might want to mention some of these behaviors to the pediatrician in case it could be an indication of something more. From that moment on she refused to talk to me and cut off contact between the girls, except for at school. The next week was teacher conferences at school-she pulled her daughter out of school the day after. Obviously with confidentiality, the teacher couldn't say what was said but it was implied that evaluation had been suggested. I just cant understand how a parent could be in such denial and not even consider getting an evaluation. My daughter and I are both dealing with a loss of a friend and I just cant help crying for that little girl who wont get the help that she needs. So Thank You for thinking of the needs of your child

 

[gr8leg8]

My daughter's preschool teacher was the first to notice that a shy girl in her class wasn't responding to sounds behind her.

One eval and two hearing aids later...
The difference is her interaction the second year was incredible.
The world with clear sound was a new place to her.
She became quite the chatterbox.

It was delightful to learn all the wonderful thoughts
going on inside her head.

 

[QVCshopper]

I just wanted to say Thank You for considering evaluation. I am currently dealing with a very different situation. My daughters been best friends with a little girl since they were two, they are now 4. They became very close friends as did the mother and I. We were very close, probably spending at least 10 hours a week together. From the start, I noticed something a little "off" with the daughter,but originally chalked it up to age and maybe she was a little babied. But behaviors became more pronounced as she got older. Plus the Mom was always mentioning little quirks her daughter has (LOTS of OCD behaviors, lack of empathy, etc). At her 2 year appointment she mentioned one of the OCD behaviors and her pediatrician said they should keep an eye on things so the Mom must have had a little bit of an inkling at least. This year the school had suggested speech therapy which she refused to consider. Finally as a friend I suggested at her 4 year appointment she might want to mention some of these behaviors to the pediatrician in case it could be an indication of something more. From that moment on she refused to talk to me and cut off contact between the girls, except for at school. The next week was teacher conferences at school-she pulled her daughter out of school the day after. Obviously with confidentiality, the teacher couldn't say what was said but it was implied that evaluation had been suggested. I just cant understand how a parent could be in such denial and not even consider getting an evaluation. My daughter and I are both dealing with a loss of a friend and I just cant help crying for that little girl who wont get the help that she needs. So Thank You for thinking of the needs of your child

MaidMarian - I'm dealing with a similar situation, although it hasn't resulted in the loss of a friend yet. My DD is delayed and I got her help at age 3 (speech, OT, and social/emotional)--and she has made great strides. A relative close to us has a daughter who does not act her age, which is 4. When I speak to the mom about early intervention, she just shrugs it off. But, later, the mom told me that they video taped her daughter to prove to her teacher that she can talk... At this point, I'm removing myself from the situation. It's not my DD. I still see them, but I don't offer any suggestions anymore. I wish them the best. Who knows--maybe I'm wrong (although I did a lot of research about delays when I went through the process with DD).

OP - I'm with almost everyone else. Go for a screening/test--it's made the world of difference for me.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

My son will turn 3 next month and he struggles with sentences. He has a lisp and I know there are a lot of things that he wants to say but doesn't know the words. I'm going to give him some more time before I start searching for speech therapists. I'm hoping that he will grow out of it, but I'm trying to be patient. Try waiting a little bit longer (maybe 6 months) and see if he comes out of it.

 

[mjkacmom]

My son will turn 3 next month and he struggles with sentences. He has a lisp and I know there are a lot of things that he wants to say but doesn't know the words. I'm going to give him some more time before I start searching for speech therapists. I'm hoping that he will grow out of it, but I'm trying to be patient. Try waiting a little bit longer (maybe 6 months) and see if he comes out of it.

Why? Although you already missed early intervention (which is amazing - they come to your house and bring a big bag of toys), your son could be getting hellp right now. Please take advantage of the free or very low cost services that are available. Don't be patient, be proactive.

 

[turkeymama]

My son will turn 3 next month and he struggles with sentences. He has a lisp and I know there are a lot of things that he wants to say but doesn't know the words. I'm going to give him some more time before I start searching for speech therapists. I'm hoping that he will grow out of it, but I'm trying to be patient. Try waiting a little bit longer (maybe 6 months) and see if he comes out of it.

There are different types of lisps. My daughter has a lateral lisp, which she will never really outgrow, but with therapy, she is retraining her tongue to lay in the proper position when she talks. She is almost 9 and has been in therapy since she was 4. Her problem is a direct result of prolonged pacifier use. Frontal lisps are a little less difficult and some kids do get better on their own as they get older. Of course, I have no idea what type of lisp your son has, I'm just putting it out there for you. At his age, it sounds like you are safe to wait for a little while. Our problem was, we got so accustomed to the way my daughter talked, it took her preschool teachers telling us she wasn't improving.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

DS was off the pacifier by 21 months. I'm trying to hold for a bit longer to strengthen his vocabulary before I have him evaluated. DH had to go through speech therapy, but a bit part of that I blamed on MIL as she doesn't enunciate (SP?) properly plus she had all 3 of her kids in 3 1/2 years... I was hoping to avoid therapy as DH remembers HATING it. I'm already driving DH nuts by correcting our son when he misspeaks. My mother did it to me, and I find myself doing the same exact thing. We'll get there. If he's not improving in the next 6-8 months, I'll look into treatment, but I'm not going to break my neck rushing him in until I feel he's capable of doing the work.

 

[MSSANDRA]

Please know that speach therapy is so different than when your husband was little. They use it even on infants to stenghten oral movement and to prevent having to play catch up later. They also make it FUN. We have children at our preschool that get pulled out for speach every week and LOVE it. It's not "work", put special game time. It is SO much easier to fix a problem now than when they start school and are pulled out of kindergarten.

Be aware that speach evaluation is a part of a whole early childhood evaluation that most places use. Our county does not just check for speach but lots of other things too. If we see issues and know the parent does not agree, we will ask to have the speach evaluated. Most parents are fine with this. We have been able through this process to identify and direct some children that needed some other services. The hardest part is making the parents understand that there is NOTHING wrong in elavuating a child. WE do an ages and stages on every child and refer the ones and we see delays in.

BLESSINGS FOR ALL DEALING WITH THIS.

 

[mjkacmom]

DS was off the pacifier by 21 months. I'm trying to hold for a bit longer to strengthen his vocabulary before I have him evaluated. DH had to go through speech therapy, but a bit part of that I blamed on MIL as she doesn't enunciate (SP?) properly plus she had all 3 of her kids in 3 1/2 years... I was hoping to avoid therapy as DH remembers HATING it. I'm already driving DH nuts by correcting our son when he misspeaks. My mother did it to me, and I find myself doing the same exact thing. We'll get there. If he's not improving in the next 6-8 months, I'll look into treatment, but I'm not going to break my neck rushing him in until I feel he's capable of doing the work.

Your DH remembers ST, so he was older. The program for kids under 3 is SO FUN! Miss Janine would come with her bag of toys, and, unfortunately for us, ds had a twin, who would cry when her brother got to play with Miss Janine. Ask around - ST is usually LOVED by the kids, especially under 3. If you get him in now, he might not need ST later on.

 

[Kriii]

OP and kwitcherkickin': Get the speech therapy eval. Red flags everywhere in what you describe. The longer you wait, the harder it is to fix. Don't miss your best window of opportunity developmentally. I'm an SLP, so consider this a professional opinion. Hope things work out well for you.

 

[mjkacmom]

DS was off the pacifier by 21 months. I'm trying to hold for a bit longer to strengthen his vocabulary before I have him evaluated. DH had to go through speech therapy, but a bit part of that I blamed on MIL as she doesn't enunciate (SP?) properly plus she had all 3 of her kids in 3 1/2 years... I was hoping to avoid therapy as DH remembers HATING it. I'm already driving DH nuts by correcting our son when he misspeaks. My mother did it to me, and I find myself doing the same exact thing. We'll get there. If he's not improving in the next 6-8 months, I'll look into treatment, but I'm not going to break my neck rushing him in until I feel he's capable of doing the work.

He doesn't need ANY language to participate in ST - my ds was 20 months old, with no words, and he had many at 2, thanks to ST. The progress is SO much faster when they're younger. Please do not hesitate to have him evaluated - I know many parents who are kicking themselves for waiting.

 

[Gretchen3ajoshmom]

I am a social worker with an early ed program, and the mom of a little guy with an expressive language delay, please get an eval... Josh is doing great with both his speech therapist and special ed teacher! They come to the house and to daycare...all the other kids want to play when his special friends come in to his classroom. Expressive language delays have nothing to do with your child's intelligence, kids can be smart as whips but may not be able to express all they want to! I have seen plenty of little guys grow by leaps and bounds with EI services...and they are more ready for kindergarten. You are not alone with this concern, and also know that you are your child's strongest advocates...

 

[MariDisney]

I work with children on the autism spectrum (not saying this is the issue with the OP's child, but there are a few red flags for that). So, I think an evaluation would be great. There's no harm in doing one. In terms of the type of therapy and intervention I am able to do I can get so much more done if I start at 3 rather than 4. Some people take the "wait and see" approach, and that's you perogative as a parent, of course. But in 20 years in the field I know that I can help a child make more progress faster the earlier intervention begins. Sometimes, it's just a few months if we get things going early enough. Good luck, OP! I know this must be a difficult time for you if you're worrying about you little one.

 

[MariDisney]

DS was off the pacifier by 21 months. I'm trying to hold for a bit longer to strengthen his vocabulary before I have him evaluated. DH had to go through speech therapy, but a bit part of that I blamed on MIL as she doesn't enunciate (SP?) properly plus she had all 3 of her kids in 3 1/2 years... I was hoping to avoid therapy as DH remembers HATING it. I'm already driving DH nuts by correcting our son when he misspeaks. My mother did it to me, and I find myself doing the same exact thing. We'll get there. If he's not improving in the next 6-8 months, I'll look into treatment, but I'm not going to break my neck rushing him in until I feel he's capable of doing the work.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I teach language and socialization, etc. to young children. Consider that if you're driving DH nuts, you may be diving your little one nuts too. When I show up at the door my clients come running to find out what toys I have with me. They have a ball and usually have no idea that they are "working". There's not skill set necessary to begin therapy. I have some kids who literally have no vocalizations at all. It may be a good idea to have a professional involved earlier rather than later. Waiting 6 months may mean an additional 2 years of therapy.

 

[momma_mouse]

I haven't read all the responses but I'm sure this has been said...if your motherly instinct says something isn't right, it probably isn't. I had concerns about 2 of my 3 kids for months but everyone said "well you can't compare them to your first" "every child is different"...and so on. So, I waited. When I finally had them evaluted they were both very delayed. 15 months later we are still strugling with both of them. I wish I had got them in therapy when they were younger. Just go ahead and get him evaluated. If all is well your mind will be eased and if not then you can proceed and get him the services he needs. Good luck!!

 

[Disneychix]

OP: I am dealing with the same issues with my DS. He is almost 2.5 and really only has about 5 words (a few signs) and we really have to prompt him to even use those words. He was a preemie so he is seen regularly by a Developmental Clinic. At age 2 we got him evaluated and he qualified for speech. He's been seeing his ST for almost 4 months now and is coming along. He is starting to speak jibberish a bit more now and has more signs that he uses with us. All my family says the "he's just a boy" bit and "he'll talk when he wants to". I have my degree in ST (even though I don't use it) and I know that there are certain times that it's not 'just being a boy".
His ST thinks he has a disorder where his mind can't connect with what he wants to say. He says words and syllables sporadically but when prompted he can't 'connect' to say something.
I would say go for the eval. What can it hurt? DS really loves his ST and I feel that it is helping. Hopefully he'll be talking soon. It's very difficult to see his younger friends and cousins all talking away. I'm just thankful this seems to be his only setback right now.