More school woes.....

[AmazingGrace]

Now it's Grace's turn. She turned five in March and started kindergarten in August. She was a bit behind in identifying her letters but her teacher assured me that she'd catch up. Then Katrina hit. Four weeks without school took their toll. I tried working with her and letters the best I could, but obviously it wasn't enough. She's now way behind on her letters, and if she doesn't learn them, then she won't be able to learn to read. I swear, I will go over each letter with her, we do write around the room, and coloring sheets for each letter, but it doesn't stick with her!!
I'm starting to wonder if i should hold her back. NOT to giver her an edge, but so that she can settle down and learn what she was supposed to this year. dh doesn't agree . He thinks she would stick out like a sore thumb. I'm not completely decided on this yet, but i think I should bring up the possibility to her teacher. And it's not just her letters, since katrina, she cries at the drop of a hat. She gets really confused sometimes. This weekend, we went to San Angelo and cried because she thought we were moving again. when we were on our way home, she thought we were going back to ocean Springs. When she went back to school after christmas, she thought she was going back to her ocean springs school. The last few mornings, she's been walking into her class crying. She asked me last night when we were going to go home.
I feel so bad for her, and i feel like a crappy mom picking her up and moving her in the middle of kindergarten.
At least with Benji's spelling, it's just his spelling, and he's well adjusted otherwise.

 

[bekkiz]

I'm a teacher with experiance from 4 year olds to high school. ALmost everything I have ever read, every study done throughout the world, says most children are not mentally read to learn to read until age 7. And, that most kids do not develop a love of reading because the education system/teachers/parents require reading at 5 or 6.

So my first bit of advice would be to relax. Read to your daughter, have her describe the pictures "what do you see in this picture" etc.

My other suggestion is a book that friends of the family wrote. They developed a wonderfu reading program that is growing momentum. I like it because it focuses on encouraging reading through activites that don't feel so "school related." Here's the amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/00...104-7725641-3797500?s=books&v=glance&n=283155
If you can't get it, or whatever, I'd be happy to type out some of the suggestions and email them to you

 

[dixipixi]

Thought you could use a

We've been having "school issues" this year as well. DS (12) got an "F" in Math for the 2nd 6 weeks. Math has always been one of his best subjects, and he knows how to figure things out when we do homework, but if he gets "stuck" on a problem on the test, he just stops. BTW, he has dropped his grades in every subject. Not failing, but it still worries me. He tells me, "Why should I work and worry about things? Another storm could come along and take everything away this time." How do you answer that? They've seen a lot and had to deal with a lot of things that haven't been easy. Every single "outside" toy they had was destroyed (bikes, bball goal, skates, skateboards, fishing gear). Not that material things are important, but they're kids. Those things mattered to them.

Our kids were out of school for about a month, but I don't think it was just being out of school. Our house was "squashed" by several huge oak trees. Not completely destroyed, but a LOT of work to get halfway back to normal. When they did get back to school, my kids had to go to school, come home in the sweltering heat, work around here until dark, eat a sandwich, take a bath, and go to bed. Guess what the next day brought? More of the same.

We finally just stopped working on the house about 2 weeks before Christmas. At that point, we didn't have the first gift bought for anybody. It has just been depressing.

We're in our house. The structure is fixed, but we still have a lot of little things to do around here. At least we didn't have to move. My heart goes out to you...it has been so hard and at least we were able to stay where everything was familiar.

I'm sorry I don't have any words of wisdom for you, just wanted to send a little love and understanding your way from someone having to deal with almost the same thing. I wouldn't want to tell you what to do, but keep a close eye on your little one, if you think she needs any kind of help, get it for her. This has been a traumatic experience for everyone and especially the little ones...they just don't always know how to express their feelings in words.

Sending you lots of good wishes, prayers, and pixie dust.

 

[Colleen456]

Is is possible your DD has post traumatic stress? Maybe she needs to talk to someone outside of the family.

I think you should talk to the teacher and get her professional opinion. I do know from experience that kids tend to need a recap once they hit 1st grade and that the first few weeks are just review of what they did in Kindergarten.

You can continue to work with her the rest of the year and over the summer. Focus on one or two letters a week and put those letters up all over the house. Kitchen cabinets, mirrors, walls, doors..etc. Visual is key to kindergarten learning.

Good Luck with everything.

 

[SandiH]

I was wondering about post tramatic stress as well. You might want to look at some play therapy to help her through her insecurities. Speaking as a teacher as well, my other question would be, when's her birthday? Did she barely miss the cut off for kindergarten or is she an older kindergarten? If she's a younger K, holding her back might help build a stronger foundation, especially since all she's been through this year and really wouldn't put her behind too much age wise. However, if she's an older K, holding her back might make her stand out more in the future, especially when she catches up in her reading. How are her other skills, (math and writing?)

Good luck, knowing what's best in this situation is always difficult.

 

[JerryMoCricketsGal]

I agree with the above posters to look into if your child has PTS. Sometimes this will not manifest itself for years if they internalize the situation, but, sometimes it comes out rapidly and/or unexpectedly. The good news it that it IS something that can be worked through if treated appropriately. Do not put off having her speak to a councelor or someone that can help her with the situation. Although I know we all want to be the one to comfort our children in a situation, sometimes the reassurance from an outside party is what is needed; as the parents have also gone through the situation, so the child cannot fathom how their parent (supporter, comforter, ect) can be 'ok' when they aren't.

Children are complex little creations, but, they are also very resilient. Although I truly respect teachers, they do not have the training to deal with these type of issues that children face, but they can be a wonderful source of resources to look for help in a given situation, so I would recommend utilizing them for help.

I wish you well and good luck with your daughter!! Your willingness to share your concerns shows that you are truly concerned with her well being and I believe that she will be ok in the long run, it just may take a bit of time to adjust; but I would recommend having her speak with a professional and deciding where to go from there. I wouldn't base any decisions on whether to hold her back for a year until you do speak to someone.

Good Luck!!! and my heart is with you for your loss during Katrina!!

 

[mickeyfan2]

I would have her tested to see if she should stay in kindergarden or go on to 1st grade. I don't know about where you live, but around her about half the class starts a year late. Around here she would not stand out like a sore thumb. She maybe still be suffering from the hurricane and talking to somebody may help. Good luck.

 

[mickeyboat]

Good advice above, but I wanted to add - is there a summer program available in your school district? Maybe some sort of tutoring program? Maybe a little extra help over the summer would get her over the hump.

Denae

 

[PlaneJoy1]

I realize this may not be possible if you work outside the home (not flaming, but just saying I know this may be realistic) but my first instinct is remove her from Kindegarten and just spend time with her at home for the rest of the year. Just loving on her, letting her help mom, reading, etc. Maybe get some homeschool material to work through a little or use the worksheets and stuff you have.

She could be affected by Post-tramatic stress. She has been through a lot, as have you. Bringing her back to the safety of home and letting her settle in, could do a lot of good. You could then decide if her "home" studies have prepared her for 1st grade or put her back in Kindegarten.

 

[AmazingGrace]

I realize this may not be possible if you work outside the home (not flaming, but just saying I know this may be realistic) but my first instinct is remove her from Kindegarten and just spend time with her at home for the rest of the year. Just loving on her, letting her help mom, reading, etc. Maybe get some homeschool material to work through a little or use the worksheets and stuff you have.

She could be affected by Post-tramatic stress. She has been through a lot, as have you. Bringing her back to the safety of home and letting her settle in, could do a lot of good. You could then decide if her "home" studies have prepared her for 1st grade or put her back in Kindegarten.

I've thought of that, but she loves going to school for the most part. The good news is she didn't cry this morning, and she seems more confident. We worked on her letters yesterday after school and i found some good phonics sites to print worksheets from. I reassured her that no one is mad at her and that her teacher loves her wether she knows her letters or not. That her teacher is there to teach her. . I'm just going to keep working with her and see where she's at at the end of the school year. We have the DVD Letter factory and she was watching that after school yesterday. One bad habit I caught...when I point to a letter and ask her what it is, she starts singing the alphbet song to figure out what letter should come after what she just did. So, now we're having to work out of order of the alphabet to break her of it. Thanks for all the tips and support. I'll keep you all updated as things progress.

 

[jbdreamer]

To make you feel better, I couln't learn my letters in Kindergarten either. I actully went to summer school. (Every day we learned a new letter.)

Although at that age I didn't know - I thought it was just a fun summer activity.

Your daughter is not alone.

She sounds like she is doing better with her emotions. I would look into a summer program for her. I don't think she would want to be held back.