Monster Under My Drivers Seat!!!! AGGHHHH!!!

[Pin Wizard]

LOLOLOLOLOL!!!

 

[nativetxn]

So I leave town for just a few days and see what I miss? The funniest story I've read in a very long time.

Personally, I would have traded in my car and gotten a new one

Katholyn

 

[anewvance]

Yuck city! And I thought all the tiny darn ants running around my car were annoying! Thanks for the visual thoughts..

 

[crazee4mickey]

That is the funniest thing I have read in quite awhile, tears were rolling down my cheeks! Sorry I laughed but OMG that is hilarious! I loved the part where you screamed like a girl who just saw the Beatles for the first time!!

 

[Tenorsinging]

please...somebody....anybody....Beuller???? tell me what is being "tagged"

Lynne

 

[Albertan mom]

please...somebody....anybody....Beuller???? tell me what is being "tagged"

Lynne

If you notice under peoples names, there are things written there. The ones that are black, people put there themselves. The ones that are COLORED the tag fairy put there. Only she can put in color

When you least expect it, the Magical Tag Fairy will quote something that you have wrote in a post, and 'tag' it under your name. (usually something very funny or embarassing!)

Nobody knows who the tag fairy is, and she strikes when you are not expecting it. She was very busy last week though, many people were blessed by her!

So be good, and you never know when you will be tagged!

 

[Tenorsinging]

Thanks mom....gosh been a while since I could say that since I lost my mother in 97.

Lynne

 

[illini]

I thought of you this morning. My son and I were taking the dog out and there was a opossum walking across our privacy fence. I was like get in the house QUICK!!! Then I made sure my car door was closed!

 

[cbusby]

I would have to had called the local animal control, I am definitely not touching a possum........However a few years ago, we had a bat in our den.

With a 4 foot wing span, my DS at the time was 4 call me and said that there was a bird flying around his head, I went in the den and the thing swooped by my head. I shouted for my DH and he chased that bat around the den and around the den some much I was getting dizzy . He finally swatted it with a broom. Don't know how he got in the den. I live in a small city in Virginia, I don't think that there is a big bat crisis here...oh well. After that day every time we tell the story we just laugh.

 

[twinklebug]

All you need is a gray leather seat, some car mats and a middle aged father of 3 in the background of that picture, and then you would have a perfect image of my day.

I must admit that the opossum I witnessed was a little bigger.

OMG - your story's too funny. My cheekbones hurt from laughing now.

aw: aw: aw: aw: aw: aw: aw: aw: aw:

 

[figment52]

The case of beer was a nice touch - did you get yourself one too or did you need something stronger?

 

[keenercam]

Has everyone read this yet? I think it is absolutely, outrageously funny and yesterday when I first read it, I had to get up and close my office door because I couldn't stop cracking up!

Thanks so much Mr. Fitz!

 

[FionaLovesShrek]

Thanks for giving my day a huge lift! I could picture the scenario as if I was watching it unfold

 

[Poohbear123]

This is a DIS board CLASSIC!! Right UP there with the "corn People!"

 

[twinklebug]

My head said "run like the wind Fat Man", but my heart said be a man and get the kids out of the car. Kids? I have Kids? Oh yeah!! Everyone out!!

ROTFLMFAO

this still makes me smile and deserves a bump for those who missed it or need to remember their lives could be worse ... thank you for sharing your pain

 

[abaldacci]

OMG that is to much

 

[andromedaslove]

Maybe you'll like this one better:

Silly dog had that thing treed for a day and a half before we found it!

My 3 labs had one "treed" on a fence for a few hours before we found it, and to think I felt sorry for that little bugger. Scared to death and too stupid to jump off the fence into the other yard!!

 

[skooniebird]

Well, here goes....

Last night we had some horrific rain. My wife was out with my MIL and when she came home with the kids she ran inside very fast and forgot to close the power side door of our Honda Oddyssey. Anyway, after the rain had stopped, I went to take out the garbage and noticed the car door was opened. I immediately saw a puddle and got some towels to clean up the water. I was pretty mad, but cleaned up the mess and told my wife to remember to close the doors.

It gets better.....


This morning, we wake up and I decide to stay home and hang out with the kids and my wife. We get everyone dressed and head out to the car. I open the side door and check where the water was. Everything seemed fine, though still damp but I was happy that the water was drying up. Anyway, I am strapping the kids in and I notice a TURD on the floor!!! I grab a wipe and pick it up. I assume it must be from a cat who decided to camp out in our car to let the rain pass by. I did check the car the night before to make sure nothing had entered. So, I get rid of the crap and tell my wife that something could be in the car. What does she do???? Rolls her eyes and tells me to get in the car since we are late going to Target! How can anyone be late going to Target!??!!???

I do a quick sweep of the car and notice that everything is clear, or so I think. We spend the day driving, shopping, dropping the kids off at pre-school, and other errands. We pick up the kids from pre-school and decide to hit an early dinner. Before we go to dinner I want to go to the car wash and vacuum the car to remove some of the water still in the rugs and also get rid of all the garbage my kids have managed to bring into the car. We pull up to the car wash, the type that has the vacuum yourself stalls, and I begin to get ready. Now, the kids are watching a DVD, the wife is gathering garbage and other items off the floor and from the side doors and I start the vacuum. So I am getting the car nice and clean and I hear my wife utter HOLY CRAP! I look over and she is standing by the drivers side door and tells me she sees a tail. I say "WHAT"!!! I run over and look and sure enough there is a tail sticking out from under the drivers seat. The tail was kind of looped around so all I could see was some gray and black hairs, but it was definitely a tail. OMG!!!!!! After I screamed like a girl who just saw the Beatles live on the Ed Sullivan show, I decided I needed to do something. My head said "run like the wind Fat Man", but my heart said be a man and get the kids out of the car. Kids? I have Kids? Oh yeah!! Everyone out!! Everyone out! I get the kids out of their booster seats (twin boys 3 yrs) and then I grab our other son Max who is 18 months old. My wife heads about 50 feet away and I begin my plan. First, I kick the seat. No luck. Next, I decide to move the power seat to see if that gets whatever it is too move....no luck. Then I get smart I decide to vacuum the SOB out of my car. No luck, but it moved! AGGGH IT MOVED! I run away screaming and then decide to head back to the car. Where did it go? At this point, the car wash attendant sees me having some trouble and he walks over and asks "what's the problem"? I tell him something is under my seat and he looks, sees what it is and says "WOAH dude that is nasty". I say, "what the hell is it", and he replies "I don't know but it's big and ugly". Then he walks away. He walks away!!! He turns the corner and then 1 minute later comes back with his friend. His friend gets a stick, pokes the monster and it bolts to the back of my car. I now had my first full look at a possum, the size of a large cat and it looked pretty ticked off!!!! It ran under the back seat and we immediately went to the back of the car and lowered my rear seats into the floor. The possum was staring right at us, showed it's teeth and bolted towards the front and back under the drivers seat. I was totally freaked but the second car wash attendant was enjoying this. He takes a towel, reaches under the seat without looking!!??? He grabs the possum by it's tail and pulls it out. All you hear is squeaking and scratching. He pulls it out, grabs it by the neck proceeds to scare his co-workers by dangling it in their faces and then decides to let the animal have its peace and tosses it behind the car wash in some bushes and trees. The possum waddles away and I was amazed. I was so relieved to have that thing out of my car that I bought them all dinner and then drove back at closing with a case of beer for them.

I am typing this now and thinking that I can not drive that car again. We drove the entire day with that thing sitting under the drivers seat!!!!

Lock your doors people.


Oh, and don't be late for Target.

OMG Everyone is asleep and I am holding my breath turning red laughing. We have a "similar" (no not even comparable) problem with friendly neighborhood cats. swear they can get in a window that's only cracked 3 inches. But a possum! AAAGGHHH And to think I had to pull over last spring for 15 minutes searching for the june bug the kids saw in the minivan. I'll tell them next time "hey shut up- coulda been a possum you big babies. OMG when DH wakes up I gotta make him read that. Thank you for starting MY day off with a guffaw at least. I'm sure yours didn't seem that way at first. eww LOL

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

I'm glad someone pulled this one back out. I love this!!! As someone who used to leave their windows open in the country (yes NJ has country areas), I now realize how lucky I was.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I can't believe this has been revived. This was one of the only DIS threads that I had my DH read and it had even him . Just too funny!!!