Have you looked at what the risks of taking too much iron are? I mean, not crazy amounts, but just a little more? If they are not scary risks, but just constipation or the like, I think I would just go ahead and up the iron for a few days and see if the symptoms improve. I was constantly anemic from about 18-25, and I would mess with my supplements all the time until I got to the right place, where I felt good and was not constipated from it, either. Granted, I haven't looked at any possible risks, but just my 2 cents

At any rate, if you don't feel like your OB's office is listening to you, go to your PCP!! It is your health and your family it is affecting - not your OB's.
Hope you get better soon