Moms to Be Part 3

[december]

Piecey, looking back, I think I had PPD with dd9. At the time I didn't see it, though. I had a 28 month old and a newborn, and almost died (seizures) and left them both with no mother. I spent several days in the hospital, 2 of those I was in a coma in ICU. I had to go on meds, and couldn't nurse her like I did ds11 (nursed her 4 days-nursed him 18 mos). The meds made me feel bad, knowing I couldn't nurse her made me feel guilty, and knowing my mil spent more time with her than I did during her 1st week of life made me crazy. I wasn't happy for a long time (I can see it now) with myself or dh, and I'm sure I made him miserable. Alot of that time is just a blur to me. I can remember so much more of ds's 1st few months than I can hers.

Things are so much better this time around. If you don't get better, please talk to someone. Life is too short, and these moments with your little one are too precious!

 

[POOHDRMR]

Hasn't it?! All of the sudden, no one is chatting! I need to pick the new thread updater soon, but none of the newbies are posting enough...post people! post!

I am a newbie but haven't been posting cause I feel like all I do is complain!I read along though.But since you asked for it-I am 11 weeks now and felt better over the weekend-the nassea was better.It is on and off alittle more instead of just on.I even went to a concert with my husband Sunday night and it was fun.I go next week for the ultrasound to help determine if there are birth deffects-has anyone done this?They didn't do that with my first 8 yrs ago.I already look pregnant-i saw my mom on Sunday and she said wow your fat already(Thanks mom!!)I have been very forgetful and my poor daughter has been the one suffering-I forgot to send in things she needed for field day on time and forgot about a field trip last week untill the morning of(I am a class mom too)The teacher told her maybe your dad should read the notices for now!I haven't even started looking at all the new types of things they have now-I was taking it slow and trying not to get ahhead of where I am incase anything went wrong but I am excited to learn all the new stuff-I will need everything again except the crib.Hope everyone is doing well.

 

[Piecey]

Piecey, looking back, I think I had PPD with dd9. At the time I didn't see it, though. I had a 28 month old and a newborn, and almost died (seizures) and left them both with no mother. I spent several days in the hospital, 2 of those I was in a coma in ICU. I had to go on meds, and couldn't nurse her like I did ds11 (nursed her 4 days-nursed him 18 mos). The meds made me feel bad, knowing I couldn't nurse her made me feel guilty, and knowing my mil spent more time with her than I did during her 1st week of life made me crazy. I wasn't happy for a long time (I can see it now) with myself or dh, and I'm sure I made him miserable. Alot of that time is just a blur to me. I can remember so much more of ds's 1st few months than I can hers.

Things are so much better this time around. If you don't get better, please talk to someone. Life is too short, and these moments with your little one are too precious!

Thats pretty much exactly what gets me going.... how everything happened.
My experience was nowhere near as bad as yours but I'm a planner and it was NOT what was expected... and I'm still really struggling with it, I think.
I see something from the hospital and it sets me off (my bag, the baby bag they sent, the formula, just anything) and I start thinking about how all of these people got to see him before me. My mom and dad, my aunt, uncle, cousin, Tom's mom and brother... all these people knew what he looked like before I did. Way before I did. (yeah, I sorta saw him in the OR and got to feel him but that was maybe 2 seconds and I couldn't really SEE him, kwim?)
Several of them just left after the nurse carried Lucas out... they didn't stick around and see me after the c-section, just Lucas. That gets to me, too. They couldn't have waited 20 more minutes and at least said goodbye?
I think about all the people in the OR talking about how perfect he was and how big and beautiful and his hair and all these things and it was another 4 hours almost before I got to see what they were talking about. I sat in the OR (exhausted and shaking-- why the heck does it have to be so cold in there??-- though they claim the shaking was from all of the drugs) while my OB told me things like "I'm just finishing up with your uterus" [yah, i needed to know that ]
I didn't expect to come home and feel like crap for days. The nurses said that C-sections are never done in exactly the same place on everyone because it depends on baby and all that junk. My stinkin' incision is exactly where I bend-- so for three days it was excruciating to sit up, to bend over, get out of bed, etc. I can deal with that, thats not my complaint... but it's that I felt totally helpless and inadequate. My first day home I really overdid it and I think maybe that made all of it worse. I feel a lot better today but I'm crying more. I don't know. We'll see.

 

[MelessaG]

I miss you guys! It seems so weird to me that I don't fit on this thread anymore... I've been here, with you ladies, for so long!!

DH thinks I have a case of PPD. I think he talked to someone today. He's worried about next week. I'm grateful he took this week, hoping I can pull it together for next week. We'll see.

Sorry to come cry all over your thread... I know I said goodbye but I keep finding myself lurking.

I definitely had PPD with my oldest and I wish I had recognized it at the time. Her birth went all wrong (long story, and not one I care to get into right now-maybe some other time), nursing was awful, DH was completely unsupportive from the minute we came home from the hospital, and then his mom had a sudden stroke and died before she was 6 weeks-old. Needless to say, I thought my mood could be chalked up to any of that. Then, I had it again when I had my third baby. When I found myself thinking of letting my car coast into oncoming traffic any time I was by myself (I didn't want to die, I just wanted to get hospitalized so that SOMEONE ELSE could step in with my three small children while I rested), I knew it was time to get some help. My OBGYN put me on Celexa and it made a HUGE difference. It wasn't an easy thing to admit or ask for help with, but I am so glad that I did and I wish I had thought to do it with my oldest. I had no problems with my 2nd and 4th babies, so I do know that it's different with every new baby-but it certainly made all the difference between my 1st and my 3rd babies and I won't hesitate to ask for help if I need it this time. I do think a tough birth experience can be a trigger for PPD-because I had a harder time with those two than with the others, but so can hormone fluctuations and many other factors. I'm glad you came back and posted here because now we can help you out with this.

 

[DannysMom]

Patsy, I don't think anyone is going to kick you off this thread before you are good & ready to go. And if that's not til a few more of us join you over on the new moms thread, that's ok.

I think the hormones in the first few days & weeks after delivery can make you feel crazed, so you may feel better soon. But like every one else has said, don't feel bad about asking for help if you think you need it. It's all temporary, but no need to drag out feeling bad for any longer than necessary, as help is readily available.

 

[Adi12982]

I am a newbie but haven't been posting cause I feel like all I do is complain!I read along though.But since you asked for it-I am 11 weeks now and felt better over the weekend-the nassea was better.It is on and off alittle more instead of just on.I even went to a concert with my husband Sunday night and it was fun.I go next week for the ultrasound to help determine if there are birth deffects-has anyone done this?They didn't do that with my first 8 yrs ago.I already look pregnant-i saw my mom on Sunday and she said wow your fat already(Thanks mom!!)I have been very forgetful and my poor daughter has been the one suffering-I forgot to send in things she needed for field day on time and forgot about a field trip last week untill the morning of(I am a class mom too)The teacher told her maybe your dad should read the notices for now!I haven't even started looking at all the new types of things they have now-I was taking it slow and trying not to get ahhead of where I am incase anything went wrong but I am excited to learn all the new stuff-I will need everything again except the crib.Hope everyone is doing well.

I did the integrated screen (I did it for the 2 extra ultrasounds, b/c I didn't have any risk factors, but insurance pays if you want to do the tests). The first one we got to see the baby and they did a bunch of measurements - the most important one is in the neck, they took blood at that cisit. Then at 14 weeks (or was it 16??) I gave blood again, just blood at that appt. and then at 18 weeks they did another ultrasound, they did measurements, we got to see the baby and they told us what we were having (I made her look 3 times). Even if there was something wrong we'd be keeping her, but we did the tests more for the extra u/s. Thankfully it all came back negative - it was for spina bifida, downs syndrome, etc.

OH - and complain as much as you want. If we can't share our complaints with each other, where can we ???

 

[harleyquinn]

I am a newbie but haven't been posting cause I feel like all I do is complain!I read along though.But since you asked for it-I am 11 weeks now and felt better over the weekend-the nassea was better.It is on and off alittle more instead of just on.I even went to a concert with my husband Sunday night and it was fun.I go next week for the ultrasound to help determine if there are birth deffects-has anyone done this?They didn't do that with my first 8 yrs ago.I already look pregnant-i saw my mom on Sunday and she said wow your fat already(Thanks mom!!)I have been very forgetful and my poor daughter has been the one suffering-I forgot to send in things she needed for field day on time and forgot about a field trip last week untill the morning of(I am a class mom too)The teacher told her maybe your dad should read the notices for now!I haven't even started looking at all the new types of things they have now-I was taking it slow and trying not to get ahhead of where I am incase anything went wrong but I am excited to learn all the new stuff-I will need everything again except the crib.Hope everyone is doing well.

Complain away!! All I did my first trimester was complain. Come here and let it all go!

Thats pretty much exactly what gets me going.... how everything happened.
My experience was nowhere near as bad as yours but I'm a planner and it was NOT what was expected... and I'm still really struggling with it, I think.
I see something from the hospital and it sets me off (my bag, the baby bag they sent, the formula, just anything) and I start thinking about how all of these people got to see him before me. My mom and dad, my aunt, uncle, cousin, Tom's mom and brother... all these people knew what he looked like before I did. Way before I did. (yeah, I sorta saw him in the OR and got to feel him but that was maybe 2 seconds and I couldn't really SEE him, kwim?)
Several of them just left after the nurse carried Lucas out... they didn't stick around and see me after the c-section, just Lucas. That gets to me, too. They couldn't have waited 20 more minutes and at least said goodbye?
I think about all the people in the OR talking about how perfect he was and how big and beautiful and his hair and all these things and it was another 4 hours almost before I got to see what they were talking about. I sat in the OR (exhausted and shaking-- why the heck does it have to be so cold in there??-- though they claim the shaking was from all of the drugs) while my OB told me things like "I'm just finishing up with your uterus" [yah, i needed to know that ]
I didn't expect to come home and feel like crap for days. The nurses said that C-sections are never done in exactly the same place on everyone because it depends on baby and all that junk. My stinkin' incision is exactly where I bend-- so for three days it was excruciating to sit up, to bend over, get out of bed, etc. I can deal with that, thats not my complaint... but it's that I felt totally helpless and inadequate. My first day home I really overdid it and I think maybe that made all of it worse. I feel a lot better today but I'm crying more. I don't know. We'll see.

Patsy we all love you around here and unless you want to leave us, we'd be MORE than happy for you to stick around. Sometimes the new mom thread doesn't get as many posts since all the new moms have so much to do. We're here for you. Being able to get the perspectives from two groups is great! Talk to your Dr!

 

[BabyTigger99]

Two days until we head out to Disney! We haven't gone since December of 2002! Hopefully (knock on wood), I will still be feeling great the entire trip!

 

[MelessaG]

Two days until we head out to Disney! We haven't gone since December of 2002! Hopefully (knock on wood), I will still be feeling great the entire trip!

I hope you feel great and have a wonderful time!

 

[Linzybrooke]

POOHDRMR, we did the defects screening as well, DH's mother had a younger brother with Downs, so it was recommended that we do the screening. We came back basicallyl no risk from the neck measurments and the blood they drew, and while the tests are not 100% conclusive, it did feel like a weight off our backs (and my belly!).

Piecey, don't feel the need to go anywhere! We would be thrilled if you stayed and hung out with all of!

BabyTigger99, have a wonderful trip!!!!!! I'm still working on DH, if only airfare weren't so darn expensive! I would be fine driving (well, I think I would be), but he really wants to fly if we go! Are you gonna stock up on baby stuff while you are there?

Hi everyone else!

 

[HerdEar]

BabyTigger99 - How funny!! We have the same due date and we will be at Disney together!!!

Our vacation starts on Sunday the 14th and ends on the 24th. How long are you all going to be down there?

 

[tegdig]

Can I join in, not a mom of a toddler, but a grandma of a 13 month old...my one and only so far and I am so in love with my newest job. Being Grandma is the best job I have ever had.
My granddaughter lives a few hours away from me so I don't get to see her as often as I would like. I am going to have her at my house for all of next week. I am so excited. I had her last December for a week and it was so wonderful to get to know her so well.
She can walk, but seems to think it's still faster to crawl, so her walking is tipsy and sporatic. While visiting my 82 year old MIL last week who has had a recent injury and has had to use a walker, I thought, this would be great for babies! I found a little Fisher Price doll stroller that is very stable and made for this purpose. I told MIL they will be in a race to see who can walk without assistance first.
Well, I am just in the process of 1 year old proofing my house, having a ball getting ready for my week with her and just needed to share!
Hope all you newer moms are cherishing every moment, no matter how trying it gets sometimes, and it does, because it all goes by so quickly.....but down the road you will then get this wonderful gift of being GRANDMA!!!!!
OOPS, MEANT TO POST THIS ON A THREAD A COUPLE OF LINES ABOVE.....MOM'S OF TODDLERS!.....
WELL, TO ALL OF YOU MOM'S TO BE.....CONGRATULATIONS, I HOPE YOU ALL OF THE BEST...ENJOY THE RIDE, AS I STATED ABOVE, IT ALL GOES BY WAY TOO FAST!!!

 

[MinnieFan4ever]

Well, I am back from the doctor. Still no progress. I am at a zero and have not started to thin out. Nothing. I will see her again on Monday and if I am still at zero or close to it, we will talk about my options. I may end up with a c-section. Mentally I think I am okay with this. As long as Natalie is born healthy, I can handle what they will do to me. I am just so ready to have her in my arms. I am lucky that my parents can stay with me to help us out after she is born. This will take a lot of pressure off of me and my husband. I would be neat to have her before Father's Day, so my husband could be a "Dad" on Father's Day!

Patsy- Feel free to stick around here as long as you want.

BabyTigger and Melessa- Have a great time at Disney

Oh, one more thing. Our A/C went out today. Thank goodness the repair man was able to come out to the house after my app't. One cannot do 94 degrees with no a/c at 37 weeks preggo.

 

[Disney Ron]

Well, I am back from the doctor. Still no progress. I am at a zero and have not started to thin out. Nothing. I will see her again on Monday and if I am still at zero or close to it, we will talk about my options. I may end up with a c-section. Mentally I think I am okay with this. As long as Natalie is born healthy, I can handle what they will do to me. I am just so ready to have her in my arms. I am lucky that my parents can stay with me to help us out after she is born. This will take a lot of pressure off of me and my husband. I would be neat to have her before Father's Day, so my husband could be a "Dad" on Father's Day!

Patsy- Feel free to stick around here as long as you want.

BabyTigger and Melessa- Have a great time at Disney

Oh, one more thing. Our A/C went out today. Thank goodness the repair man was able to come out to the house after my app't. One cannot do 94 degrees with no a/c at 37 weeks preggo.

Sorry to hear you had no progression. I am afraid I will be hearing the same thing on Thursday.

Heartburn is kicking me in the butt tonight.

 

[Adi12982]

Well, I am back from the doctor. Still no progress. I am at a zero and have not started to thin out. Nothing. I will see her again on Monday and if I am still at zero or close to it, we will talk about my options. I may end up with a c-section. Mentally I think I am okay with this. As long as Natalie is born healthy, I can handle what they will do to me. I am just so ready to have her in my arms. I am lucky that my parents can stay with me to help us out after she is born. This will take a lot of pressure off of me and my husband. I would be neat to have her before Father's Day, so my husband could be a "Dad" on Father's Day!

Patsy- Feel free to stick around here as long as you want.

BabyTigger and Melessa- Have a great time at Disney

Oh, one more thing. Our A/C went out today. Thank goodness the repair man was able to come out to the house after my app't. One cannot do 94 degrees with no a/c at 37 weeks preggo.

First - good thing they were able to fix your AC ASAP!!

Second - have you thought of natural methods to get things going??? One your DH will probably like best , walking (early morning or evening would be best b/c of the heat), ankle massages, primrose oil (I've heard you can take it orally or to do that AND insert one), and using a breast pump (or another method for nipp. stimulation). Anyhow, maybe trying some of these would help - thankfully you are able to cope with the idea of a c-section now, just in case.

 

[yellowfish78]

Well, my complaint is a trivial one. I went to Target today to get myself a bathing suit for the summer. I headed over to the maternity section and WOW! all these maternity tankinis! I was stoked because our Old Navy has none - they are all online only. So I pick out a few that will look good and then start looking around for the bottoms. Um...no bottoms. Where are the bottoms? I ask. They don't carry maternity bottoms in the store. Just online. OK fine. I head over to the regular bathing suit section and grab a pair of plain black bottoms. As soon as I get them on in the fitting room they start rolling down the belly. Obviously, regular bottoms won't work if they roll...

I'm completely flabergasted that they carry tops but not bottoms. I just finished ordering (both pieces) from their website. Talk about a waste of a trip!

 

[hotveggy]

I miss you guys! It seems so weird to me that I don't fit on this thread anymore... I've been here, with you ladies, for so long!!

DH thinks I have a case of PPD. I think he talked to someone today. He's worried about next week. I'm grateful he took this week, hoping I can pull it together for next week. We'll see.

Sorry to come cry all over your thread... I know I said goodbye but I keep finding myself lurking.

You may just have more of a case of the "Baby Blues" rather than true PPD, but if you are concerned you should definitely check with you doctor. It is totally normal to be overwhelmed especially if things didn't go as you had planned. I cried every day for the first 2 weeks- not really because I was sad, kind of because I was happy/overwhelmed/exhausted then things started to get better. Hope you feel better soon, if not please check with you doctor. The time flies by too fast to be missing things with your little one.

 

[Skylarr29]

Thats pretty much exactly what gets me going.... how everything happened.
My experience was nowhere near as bad as yours but I'm a planner and it was NOT what was expected... and I'm still really struggling with it, I think.
I see something from the hospital and it sets me off (my bag, the baby bag they sent, the formula, just anything) and I start thinking about how all of these people got to see him before me. My mom and dad, my aunt, uncle, cousin, Tom's mom and brother... all these people knew what he looked like before I did. Way before I did. (yeah, I sorta saw him in the OR and got to feel him but that was maybe 2 seconds and I couldn't really SEE him, kwim?)
Several of them just left after the nurse carried Lucas out... they didn't stick around and see me after the c-section, just Lucas. That gets to me, too. They couldn't have waited 20 more minutes and at least said goodbye?
I think about all the people in the OR talking about how perfect he was and how big and beautiful and his hair and all these things and it was another 4 hours almost before I got to see what they were talking about. I sat in the OR (exhausted and shaking-- why the heck does it have to be so cold in there??-- though they claim the shaking was from all of the drugs) while my OB told me things like "I'm just finishing up with your uterus" [yah, i needed to know that ]
I didn't expect to come home and feel like crap for days. The nurses said that C-sections are never done in exactly the same place on everyone because it depends on baby and all that junk. My stinkin' incision is exactly where I bend-- so for three days it was excruciating to sit up, to bend over, get out of bed, etc. I can deal with that, thats not my complaint... but it's that I felt totally helpless and inadequate. My first day home I really overdid it and I think maybe that made all of it worse. I feel a lot better today but I'm crying more. I don't know. We'll see.

I hope you feel better soon , I can only imagine how overwhelming that all must be. I would be infuriorated if everyone saw him before me, I have just informed DH that no one is allowed to see the baby before me... even if I'm out for a whole day! He looked at me like this but I told him I am so serious! You spend all that time growing him, feeling him, all the aches and pains etc. and you want to be the first to see him and hold him, it's only natural. Get some rest and take care of yourself, things will settle into a pattern soon

Oh, and stay as long as you'd like! We enjoy your company.

 

[Laura]

Thats pretty much exactly what gets me going.... how everything happened.
My experience was nowhere near as bad as yours but I'm a planner and it was NOT what was expected... and I'm still really struggling with it, I think.
I see something from the hospital and it sets me off (my bag, the baby bag they sent, the formula, just anything) and I start thinking about how all of these people got to see him before me. My mom and dad, my aunt, uncle, cousin, Tom's mom and brother... all these people knew what he looked like before I did. Way before I did. (yeah, I sorta saw him in the OR and got to feel him but that was maybe 2 seconds and I couldn't really SEE him, kwim?)
Several of them just left after the nurse carried Lucas out... they didn't stick around and see me after the c-section, just Lucas. That gets to me, too. They couldn't have waited 20 more minutes and at least said goodbye?
I think about all the people in the OR talking about how perfect he was and how big and beautiful and his hair and all these things and it was another 4 hours almost before I got to see what they were talking about. I sat in the OR (exhausted and shaking-- why the heck does it have to be so cold in there??-- though they claim the shaking was from all of the drugs) while my OB told me things like "I'm just finishing up with your uterus" [yah, i needed to know that ]
I didn't expect to come home and feel like crap for days. The nurses said that C-sections are never done in exactly the same place on everyone because it depends on baby and all that junk. My stinkin' incision is exactly where I bend-- so for three days it was excruciating to sit up, to bend over, get out of bed, etc. I can deal with that, thats not my complaint... but it's that I felt totally helpless and inadequate. My first day home I really overdid it and I think maybe that made all of it worse. I feel a lot better today but I'm crying more. I don't know. We'll see.

Oh, feeling helpless and inadequate; I can relate. I wouldn't know if you have PPD, but it's worthwhile to talk about it with your doc. I didn't have PPD, but I had lots of anxiety after DD was born; I was nervous about something so simple as changing her diaper! It seems so ridiculous now; DD would hardly have noticed if I put the diaper on wrong. Babies are resilient, and they don't know if you make mistakes. I was incredibly overwhelmed with everything; the birth, the physical changes (the bleeding that seemed like it would never end), the sleeplessness... I wasn't expecting to feel physically good after birth, but I also wasn't expecting to mentally feel like crap, not how I did, anyway. I thought I'd just be sad. After about two-three weeks, though, I was feeling better. Getting out of the house, even just a quick trip to Babies R US, helped me a ton. DD had a doctor's appointment at 3 weeks for thrush, and I took DD myself, with no help. Really improved my confidence.

As for the people leaving you in the OR--they're just interested in the new family member. People meet DD for the first time and fawn all over her, then about five minutes later say, "Oh, yeah, Laura, how are you?" To them, I'm just the baby holder; everyone's already met me! Yeah, it's rude, but they're just excited about the new addition.

But remember--YOU are your son's MOTHER. You are so important and so special to him. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins... they're all nice and everything, but there's nobody like MOM. It doesn't matter what happened the first few hours of your son's life; he doesn't remember them. You went through so much to have your son, and if he could talk right now, no doubt he would thank you and tell you how much he loves you.

 

[Adi12982]

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