Moms of 1st graders: when is bedtime?

[bedgraynexl]

I have a DS7 and DD5. My wife has pretty much set a firm bedtime of 8:00-8:30. Occasionally there is some wiggle room but not to often. Fortunately my kids are not into Idol or Lost (since we aren't either) and don't ask to watch them. Late TV usually isn't an issue. I don't think we could go with a later bedtime as they are not morning people and have tough time getting up in the morning.

 

[Hannathy]

I made my 1st grader go to bed at 7:30 or 7:45. IMO, a bedtime of 9:00 is too late for a child that age. A lot of research shows a correlation between sleep and school performance. There is research supporting that some (not all) ADHD behaviors are a result of poor or insufficient sleep.

A good read on sleep is Dr. Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" - although it focuses on much younger kids, it can help reassure you that you're not a mean mom - you're the good one!

You can't make broad sweeping generalizations like this. Every person is wired differently. My DD has never needed a lot of sleep. she never napped as a baby ever and has always stayed up late. Yeah, I guess 3 AP classes in 10th grade and a 3.9 is really poor performance in school and I should make her go to bed.
What works for one person isn't always right for the other.

 

[surfgirl]

mine are 7, 5, 3. They all go to bed at the same time.

bedtime is 7:30 (latest) - we start for bed around 7ish and go through reading, etc. I also read the Weisbluth book and was transformed and made sleep a priority. On bath nights, we start for bath at 6:30/6:45. Interesting thing is that my 7yo is the last one awake at 6:45/7ish. My 3yo wakes first (but he still naps).

Another parenting book that has made me think is the "Read Aloud Handbook" by Jim Trelease. Makes you realize the importance of reading to your children much later than people traditionally do. Kids verbal comprehension and reading comprehension don't catch up until 8th grade, so they should be read aloud to until that point. I wholly recommend it!

If it works for your kids, then it is the right thing!

 

[surfgirl]

You can't make broad sweeping generalizations like this. Every person is wired differently. My DD has never needed a lot of sleep. she never napped as a baby ever and has always stayed up late. Yeah, I guess 3 AP classes in 10th grade and a 3.9 is really poor performance in school and I should make her go to bed.
What works for one person isn't always right for the other.

Hannathy, I agree that every person is wired differently, but if you think of the hours of sleep as a bell curve, then your daughter is the part where the bell curve is close to the graph.

That is terrific that she is doing so well! I hope that our children do so well!

Weisbluth was able to SCIENTIFICALLY PROVE that hours of sleep is correlated to mood and performance (in a blind study with parents of kids and caregivers). This is for the average kid. Not all of our kids are average, because my 7yo needs *more* sleep than most! So, she is weighing the scales the other way.

For the most part, however, kids do better with more sleep. It has been scientifically proven (oops, I'm repeating myself, sorry).

Anyway, just wanted to share my thoughts on the book.

 

[Hannathy]

What I was pointing out is too many people try to make people who go against what they think is right ie early bedtimes are bad Mom's. You see it with bedtimes or eating or even breast feeding. What ever works for your family is right. At our house we aren't morning people so we stay up at your house you may like being up at 6 am and that works for you and that is great. I just don't like it when some try to say they do it right and every one else is wrong.

 

[gillenkl]

Thanks for tall the great replies! I didn't want to start a debate -- just a judgment free informal survey!

Now another question: what if you have two kids (I have a 7 and 5 year old). Do you let the older one stay up later? How many fights does this cause?

Thanks for any input!

As a mom of twins (1st graders, 7yrs old) - one goes to bed at 7:30 and the other at 9:30 because they each need different amounts of sleep. On the weekends they both stay up until around 9:00 because they can sleep in later. So far, no real arguments about the time difference. After a couple of times, they just know this is the bedtime routine.

 

[clori]

usually we start getting ready for bed around 8 and dd (turned 7 yesterday) is asleep by 9pm. She wakes up on her own right around 7am. We don't leave for school until 8am and 45 minutes gives us plenty of time to get ready since bathing is done at night time. For us this works well since we eat close to 6pm when dh gets home. Also I'm not a morning person and have no need to be up at 5am. My ped told me that kids her age need 10-11 hours of sleep a night which is what she gets. We tend to keep similiar hours on weekends unless there are special circumstances.

 

[hollyb]

We have alomost 10 year old and an almost 7 year old. Sunday-Thursday bed is at 8:00, no way are they allowed to watch Lost or American Idol. Garbage t.v. is not allowed. Weekends they stay up until whenever.

 

[freckles and boo]

My girls just had birthdays and are newly five and seven. They share a bedroom and their windows face west. Because the sun is setting later we just moved their bedtime from seven to eight about three weeks ago. They turn into pumpkins if they stay up past eight and my older daughter is a monster if she doesn't get her rest. By eight they are both nearly comatose so it has worked out well. They are also both early risers and want to play at 5:45 in the morning (which is fine with me as long as nobody needs Mommy until 6:30!!!). I like that we have plenty of time in the morning and aren't rushing around like maniacs to get ready for school. I also love the "grown-up" time in the evening.

 

[freckles and boo]

We have alomost 10 year old and an almost 7 year old. Sunday-Thursday bed is at 8:00, no way are they allowed to watch Lost or American Idol. Garbage t.v. is not allowed. Weekends they stay up until whenever.

I enjoy Lost and don't think it is "garbage tv", but it really is very violent at times and (in my opinion) not appropriate for little kids.

 

[Crazy4Disney72]

My 7yr old first grade DD and my 9 yr old 3rd grade DS go to bed about 8:00. They get their showers and are in pjs in time to watch Hannah Montana at 7:00, then when Hannah Montana is over, it's time for bed but by the time we read and say prayers, it's usually about 8:00. I would say they are usually asleep by 8:15-8:30, and they wake on their own about 7:00. Of course, some nights it doesn't work out that well, like last night, we had Brownies so we didn't even get home until 8:00.

 

[blessedby3]

I have 3 kids. The 8 year old goes to bed between 7:00 and 7:30. My 11 year old goes to bed at 9:00. My 17 year old goes to bed at 10:00. My 2 youngest get up at 6:30 and my oldest at 7:20. If my youngest does not get enough sleep- watch out. Even on weekends she is only allowed to stay up unitl 8:30. The other two have much more freedom on the weekends, but they are not grouchy like their little sis. No show on tv is worth staying up for to miss quality sleep. There is a thing called a VCR that we have that can tape any show. The show can be watched at a reasonable hour.

 

[Nienor]

My son is in first grade, his bedtime is 9:00 pm. But he doesn't have to get up in the morning til about 7:45. His school starts at 8:45 and we live only 2 blocks away.

 

[newtowdw1]

My 6.5 yr old goes to bed at 7 - 7:30. DD10 goes to bed around 7:30 and reads until 8:00 (unless we slip in our vigilance, then it's 9, 10, 11 when I go to bed and catch her!). Both get up about 6:30 with lots of prodding. We all leave the house at 7:15 am.

DD is a morning girl, like many pps. DS is a night owl. We allow DD to stay up to watch AI if she gets a 90% on her spelling test. She's wiped out by then, and has trouble getting up the next morning. Bedtimes will stay where they are for the foreseeable future.

P. S. NO ONE likes my kids if they don't sleep enough, not even themselves!

 

[newtowdw1]

I made my 1st grader go to bed at 7:30 or 7:45. IMO, a bedtime of 9:00 is too late for a child that age. A lot of research shows a correlation between sleep and school performance. There is research supporting that some (not all) ADHD behaviors are a result of poor or insufficient sleep.

I've said since my kids were toddlers, "Oh, you're cranky/out of control/ acting out. You must be tired. Go to bed."

MY children would never be bad if they weren't tired!

 

[Elmo888]

I can't believe these late times for 1st graders!

DD7 goes to bed between 7:30 and 8. She might read until 8, but then it is lights out. Her alarm goes off at 6:30, so that seems a little earlier than others have stated.

In kindergarten, we started out with an 8 pm bedtime, but after a few weeks or so, I moved it back to 7:30. 8 pm was just too late for her, and she was really tired in the morning. This year, she was getting up at 6:15 and running late. I then realized that she was running late because she was going back to bed! I adjusted her wake up time to 6:30, and she's been doing really well.

If what you are doing is working, I would stick with it. If not, adjust it. I wouldn't worry about what the other kids are doing. As someone else stated, every child is different. Mine has always needed a lot of sleep (just like her mommy).

 

[jessica52877]

I think you are a good mom! I think eight is more then appropiate

 

[Poohbug]

Bedtime for my 7 yr old and my 4 yr old is 8 p.m. on school nights-they can stay up later on the weekends. You are not a mean mommy-if he goes to bed later I have a hard time getting him up in the morning. Even though the sun sets at 7:50 now I still have 8 p.m. bedtime. I have been grocery shopping at 11 p.m. and have seen families with small children in the store When do their children sleep??

Dee

 

[DisneyMomx7]

I must be the meanest mommy! My kids (6, 8 and 9) bedtime is 7:00! THey are showered and in their pjs by 7, they can read for 1/2 hour and watch tv for another 1/2 hour - lights out at 8. They have to be up by 6:15 for school and are really cranky if they don't get enough sleep.

 

[3littleHalls]

Bedtime for our 1st grader is at 8. We usually start bedtime at 7:30 ish. In bed by 8, up at 7am. Periodically b/c of Brownie meetings she is up till 8:30. But that is it. She can't function in the am any later.