Moms.....I need suggestions and sensitivity traing.

[Kalliope]

I love WDW and a huge fan and dh dislikes it, I would have no problem with this at all and think it is a great idea. It is nice to have special time one on one with your kids, or even just one of them. I'd go...mom needs to realize sometimes we can't do everything. If the other dd is fine with it, I can't imagine why mom wouldn't be.

Exactly. I am leaving on a Mommy/daughter trip soon and DH couldn't be more excited for us!

 

[GBBTomorrow]

I think a father-daughter trip sounds wonderful, but I would then let the other daughter pick somewhere special to go with you as well. I would be happy for my husband and daughter if they did something so sweet, as long as you are also making time to spend one-on-one time with your wife as well.

 

[Catvondita]

I'm just saying, if my boyfriend went to Disney without me I would kick him so hard up the (use your imagination) he would be throwing up my shoe.

 

[Fizban]

First of all.....we have 7 and 8 year old daughters and are all big Disney fans. We are waiting to close on DVC in the next couple of weeks for BLT. We've gone he last 4 years in a row in May and will be staying with DVc points at BLT again this coming May 2016.

Here's the problem......I would really like to go in November for a short trip. however, my wife's part time job has its busy season then so there is no way she will even ask for time off. Our 8 year is just like me. Up early and go all day. Our 7 year old is a little more like Mom. They like to take their time in the morning and generally go at quite a bit slower pace.

I've had a couple of "what if" conversations with my girls and the 8 year old would love for just me and her to go and 7 year old would just as much like to stay at home with mom. I explained to them we will probably not do this and they know we're going next May anyway.....so no big deal to them.

So here's the problem. Wife is big Disney fan herself.

Am I out of bounds for even considering this? Am I a bad husband? Will she divorce me after 20 years? LOL!

Would you do this and if so any suggestions on a good way to present my case or how to go about bringing it up?

Silly post I know but it's possible there could be some hurt feelings for even thinking about it. LOL!

Help me Disboards....or set me straight!!

From a dad and husband, unless you take both the girls don't even bring up the subject. Yes you will poison the well no matter what they tell you.

 

[dfb]

Since you are soliciting opinions, I'll give you my "stinky" one...

1. Don't ask questions like this on the Disboards, it's agony!! You already know - the answers you'll get and "the real answer."
2. Your wife can't go, one daughter doesn't care to go, you and other daughter want to go with the opportunity. Go!! And have fun!!!

With much love,

dfb

 

[Kalliope]

I'm just saying, if my boyfriend went to Disney without me I would kick him so hard up the (use your imagination) he would be throwing up my shoe.

You don't let your boyfriend go on vacation without you? I assume he is a grown man?

 

[Badgebunny12]

Since you are soliciting opinions, I'll give you my "stinky" one...

1. Don't ask questions like this on the Disboards, it's agony!! You already know - the answers you'll get and "the real answer."
2. Your wife can't go, one daughter doesn't care to go, you and other daughter want to go with the opportunity. Go!! And have fun!!!

With much love,

dfb

I don't mean to be rude; however, I'll ask anything I want to on here.

 

[tsme]

If my DH went without me to Disney, he'd have to spend the rest of his life sleeping with one eye open!

 

[eliza61]

Op, Go for it!!
married 30 years gal here.

1). Sorry I think it sucks that someone would stop their spouse from having a good time simply because they couldnt go. talk about 3rd grade stuff. so basically if I have to be miserable everyone else has too??

2). i'm assuming everyone is an adult, adults are suppose to realize that sometimes life sucks and you have to work.

3). I will definitely tell my sons to avoid any girls who would get mad and knowingly stop them from going some place they love simply because they couldn't go. Talk about
Selfish, self centeredness. run, forest, run.


Now to go thank the Good Lord that he sent me a wonderful husband who not only encouraged me to go to the world when he got stuck at work, but would throw spending money at me.

 

[BuckeyeBama]

LOL - some good advice here, and some scary stuff. Sometimes the Dis can be a scary place.

I have been w/o my wife, and we have gone with only one of our boys several times. Never a hurt feeling from anyone. Forget all of the scary stuff in this thread and do what feels right.

Good luck!

 

[skateshome]

Op, Go for it!!
married 30 years gal here.

1). Sorry I think it sucks that someone would stop their spouse from having a good time simply because they couldnt go. talk about 3rd grade stuff. so basically if I have to be miserable everyone else has too??

2). i'm assuming everyone is an adult, adults are suppose to realize that sometimes life sucks and you have to work.

3). I will definitely tell my sons to avoid any girls who would get mad and knowingly stop them from going some place they love simply because they couldn't go. Talk about
Selfish, self centeredness. run, forest, run.


Now to go thank the Good Lord that he sent me a wonderful husband who not only encouraged me to go to the world when he got stuck at work, but would throw spending money at me.

If anything happens between you and your husband.....look me up. You sound like my kind of gal!!!!

 

[Maddysdaddy]

I had a lengthy response drafted and then decided to just cut to the chase.

My thoughts are this - if you want to go in November, you need to take both of your daughters (not leaving the 7 year old at home with Mom, just because she's not a morning person like you and your 8 year old). Also, you'd better broach the subject with your wife first, and have in hand at the time of that discussion, a reservation for her at a luxury hotel with multiple spa services booked and a bottle of champagne delivered to the hotel room.

If you can 'sell' it as Daddy/Daughters bonding time, with a chance for your wife to have a few days to recharge her batteries and pamper herself, then my guess is that you might have a chance of pulling this off.

 

[mom2AidanAndEli]

Op, Go for it!!
married 30 years gal here.

1). Sorry I think it sucks that someone would stop their spouse from having a good time simply because they couldnt go. talk about 3rd grade stuff. so basically if I have to be miserable everyone else has too??

2). i'm assuming everyone is an adult, adults are suppose to realize that sometimes life sucks and you have to work.

3). I will definitely tell my sons to avoid any girls who would get mad and knowingly stop them from going some place they love simply because they couldn't go. Talk about
Selfish, self centeredness. run, forest, run.


Now to go thank the Good Lord that he sent me a wonderful husband who not only encouraged me to go to the world when he got stuck at work, but would throw spending money at me.

Another view...

1) Couldn't you also say it's selfish to plan a trip for yourself when you know your spouse can't go??? Is there a reason it absolutely has to be at the one time the wife is busy with work? So if I want to have a good time, too bad for you! I'm not going to consider your feelings in this at all. It's all about me getting what I want.

2) If we're all adults here, don't you realize that sometimes it's not just about you. It may suck, but if your spouse is stuck and has to work, maybe you stick by them.

3) I will definitely tell my sons to try to be kind and thoughtful to their wives, not worry about the next time they can get out on their own!

 

[AquaDame]

This is all just IMO, of course!

First, talk about it with your wife BEFORE breathing a word of it to your kids. Everyone is different, and I don't know what your wife will think. She might be glad for the alone time, or she could be having a rough time right now and it might make her sad to be left out. Talking it out is the only way to be sure!

I would also make sure to extend the offer to BOTH your girls. If the 7 y/o says again and again she doesn't want to go thats one thing, but she should absolutely be given the option lest jealousy rear its ugly head. I'm not sure that is old enough to be fully cognizant of their own wants and needs... its easy to say you want to stay home until you realize everything you missed out on.

Either way, do something nice for your wife and kiddo if they don't go. A fancy meal out before you leave, clean up the house really well before taking off, etc. In the end they're still missing out on some awesomeness, so throw them a bone!

 

[BugsDaddy]

Not a Mom...just a Dad of 2 and have a DW who's a Disney fan, too. All I can say is...

Dude. C'mon.

You've been a Dad for awhile. You have to know you can't mention it to the kids without talking to DW first.

I know you couched it in a lot of contingency language, but young kids don't hear that. All the stuff besides "Do you want to go to Disney?" sounds like when Charlie Brown's teacher is talking. "I explained to them we will probably not do this and they know we're going next May anyway" sounds to them like "Wawawawawawa."

If I were in your shoes, I'd fall on my sword and tell the kids it's not going to work out for a fall trip. I wouldn't want to make my DW the heavy, and I wouldn't want her to have hard feelings about me going with one or both.

As a father and a husband, this is exactly what I was thinking.

 

[Murron]

My husband changed jobs one year, and I went with the kids. Frankly, I think that although he would have loved to be with us, he was happy to have the house to himself and get quietly adjusted to his new job in peace. It also happened in reverse where my family went without me due to job necessities. However that time, I was able to catch up with them during the last 4 days. As others have said, we are people not bothered by this. You are the one to make that call.

 

[Planogirl]

Wow, if we'd waited for DH to be able to go then we wouldn't have gone much. He worked a lot plus he didn't really care about it. But if your wife is a fan it might be different.

You know your own family dynamics best. If you and your wife decide that it's a bad idea then I hope that you'll be the one to tell the girls that it's off. I wouldn't blame it on your wife.

 

[EvieBug]

First of all.....we have 7 and 8 year old daughters and are all big Disney fans. We are waiting to close on DVC in the next couple of weeks for BLT. We've gone he last 4 years in a row in May and will be staying with DVc points at BLT again this coming May 2016.

Here's the problem......I would really like to go in November for a short trip. however, my wife's part time job has its busy season then so there is no way she will even ask for time off. Our 8 year is just like me. Up early and go all day. Our 7 year old is a little more like Mom. They like to take their time in the morning and generally go at quite a bit slower pace.

I've had a couple of "what if" conversations with my girls and the 8 year old would love for just me and her to go and 7 year old would just as much like to stay at home with mom. I explained to them we will probably not do this and they know we're going next May anyway.....so no big deal to them.

So here's the problem. Wife is big Disney fan herself.

Am I out of bounds for even considering this? Am I a bad husband? Will she divorce me after 20 years? LOL!

Would you do this and if so any suggestions on a good way to present my case or how to go about bringing it up?

Silly post I know but it's possible there could be some hurt feelings for even thinking about it. LOL!

Help me Disboards....or set me straight!!

My beef would be the work part. Making memories with just Daddy and Daughter(s)? Awesome. But because Mommy has to go to work and miss vacation? Not so awesome. Something as big as Disney would be an extra sting to me. Can you take the girls someplace closer or not so beloved?

 

[kangamangus]

If anything happens between you and your husband.....look me up. You sound like my kind of gal!!!!

?? Very confused.....did you say that you were married? But then a few pages later you tell a woman to look you up if anything happens between her and her husband? I wouldn't care if my husband took one or all of our kids on a solo/duo/trio vacation. I would however care if he was making statements like that on a forum.

 

[eliza61]

Another view...

1) Couldn't you also say it's selfish to plan a trip for yourself when you know your spouse can't go??? Is there a reason it absolutely has to be at the one time the wife is busy with work? So if I want to have a good time, too bad for you! I'm not going to consider your feelings in this at all. It's all about me getting what I want.

2) If we're all adults here, don't you realize that sometimes it's not just about you. It may suck, but if your spouse is stuck and has to work, maybe you stick by them.

3) I will definitely tell my sons to try to be kind and thoughtful to their wives, not worry about the next time they can get out on their own!

Maybe its because my spouse owned his own business so i know first hand that sometimes schedules don't align, so no I don't think of it as selfish if my husband and kids planned a vacation when I couldn't go.
I guess im not the type of person who would get mad because my husband is having a good time and I had obligations.

Like I said sounds selfish and more like grade school basketball. " it's my ball and if I can't play I'm taking it and going home".

2) Is she NEVER going with them??? one time not going to a theme park translates to not sticking with them??? lol, he's not leaving her to have chemotherapy by herself.

Hopefully my kids saw our example and will follow it, lol. I would never whine or throw a hissy fit because I got stuck at work and thankfully neither would he.