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[marie1203]

I want this thread close. I got the answer that I wanted and I am not interested in answering off topic questions. Please close this thread.
My 17 year old cousin is staying with us for a month this summer. My aunt wants to make sure he contributes for groceries, etc. I am having problems coming up with a number. I was thinking $150 for the whole month does that sounds fair? I was thinking $100 for groceries and the $50 for electric, gas, etc.
I little background is my cousin does not work his parents support him. His dad is a CEO of an international company and my aunt own a business they are both very well off.

 

[SaraJayne]

Do you have any idea how much teenage boys eat?

That amount would cover about a weeks worth of groceries.

So the aunt is paying the money he's supposedly contributing?

I'm sure whatever number you come up with is fine, as it seems she isn't worried about the actual amount, just that they put something toward your expenses.

 

[wvjules]

I would never in a million years ask a guest in my home to contribute grocery money no matter how "well off" the parents are.

 

[crashbb]

Why is he staying with you?

Did you invite him to visit? Is he doing something in your city/town, and asked if he could stay at your place?

 

[marie1203]

I would never in a million years ask a guest in my home to contribute grocery money no matter how "well off" the parents are.

Me either she is insisting and will get mad at me. She wants him to know the "real world" as he had been shelter and never had to do anything chore or pay for anything.

 

[Madison'smommy]

I would not take money from them.. especially if it is my nephew. Is he coming to just hang out and visit? I would also "expect" that a 17 year old is being " supported" by his parents. I dunno, I started working when I was 15, had play money, gas money etc.... but my parents definatly "supported" me. I would just ask that he contribute in other way... run the vacuum, empty dishwasher..... anything I would probably expect my own kids to do. If his parents want to make sure they contribute something, just tell them to give him a little cash so maybe he can go do stuff.

Have a great time with your nephew! I loved going and spending time with family!

 

[Priorityonecb]

I could never accept money from a guest in my home, especially family.

 

[marie1203]

Why is he staying with you?

Did you invite him to visit? Is he doing something in your city/town, and asked if he could stay at your place?

My aunt wanted him to come experience the real world. They have a full time maid and never had to lift a finger is his life. Also he wanted him to practice his english because it was getting rusty and confusing because he speaks four languages. So she asked if he could stay here.

 

[Madison'smommy]

Me either she is insisting and will get mad at me. She wants him to know the "real world" as he had been shelter and never had to do anything chore or pay for anything.

Who is the money coming from? Did he earn the money?

 

[marie1203]

I could never accept money from a guest in my home, especially family.

I agree but she is insisting today she send me the fifth email about it. I told her $20 just so I take something so she stop but then again this morning she send an email telling me she knows that is not enough blah blah and how she did not send him for me to pay for his stuff, and how is he going to learn the value of money if I take care of him.

 

[marie1203]

Who is the money coming from? Did he earn the money?

No but I guess she gave him an x amount of money and he is supposed to budget with that since he has never had to do that before.

 

[Priorityonecb]

That is a tough situation! They've spoiled him his whole life, and they want you to make him pay and show him the real work? How is he goign to pay if he doesn't have a job? Are you supposed to be tough with him those four weeks to show him how the other half live? That doesn't feel right to me! I hope you are okay with that!

I guess if she is going to be angry with you, I'd just say "I don't feel comfortable asking you for a figure. You just decide what you think is fair and send that along with him". Then let him use that as his spending money or something. Of course, I'd have him pick up after himself like any other guest, or your child would just be expected to behave.

 

[crashbb]

I agree but she is insisting today she send me the fifth email about it. I told her $20 just so I take something so she stop but then again this morning she send an email telling me she knows that is not enough blah blah and how she did not send him for me to pay for his stuff, and how is he going to learn the value of money if I take care of him.

That makes no sense. How does HER sending YOU money, teach HIM the value of money?

What is he going to be doing while visiting you? How is it going to help him "experience the real world"? Where is he coming from?

 

[smitch425]

Do you have a lawn that needs mowing or some household jobs that need to be done like cleaning the gutters, doing small repair work? This would be better to me than having his mom fork over the money willingly.

 

[marie1203]

That makes no sense. How does HER sending YOU money, teach HIM the value of money?

What is he going to be doing while visiting you? How is it going to help him "experience the real world"? Where is he coming from?

He has the money. She is not sending her the money. He has to look after himself and do chores, which it is not what he does at home.

 

[tiff211]

I would say it depends on YOUR financial situation at the time. Sometimes even family doesn't want to put that burden on you. Maybe say $50 a week, I am sure having a teen boy in the house is way more than that. If you need it, fine. If not, put it away, have him do household chores, help you out with yardwork etc. Then when he leaves, give him the $ back...unless he gave you a bad attitude and stressed you out about helping out. Then take the money and treat yourself to a spa day!

 

[DisneyMomma81]

As a guest in someone's home I would never be a free loader - many of you are saying you wouldn't dream of asking a house guest for $$ - that's fine, but I also think a guest should be more than willing to help out during their visit - buy groceries, help out around the house.....

 

[mjkacmom]

So your aunt spoiled this kid, and now that he's almost an adult, she needs to send him to your house to unspoil him? I know wealthy people who still make their kids do chores. Raising kids can be hard work, and it looks like your aunt is too lazy to do it herself.

 

[NVDisMom]

If you aren't used to having a teen boy around, he may, literally, eat you out of house and home. They consume. massive. amounts. of everything! lol

I take it mom and dad are sending him with money. I would buy your normal groceries at the beginning of the week and when they run out ask him to go to the store with you and pick up the tab for the rest of the week. Nothing like the real life experience as the cost of groceries and the empty pantry that stares back at you, especially when you are a ravenous teen.

I also noticed that you have a household full of pet babies. Have him help out with the clean up duties to make up for the increase in other household expenses. Show him what it means to do chores. Guide him on the frequency and thoroughness of the job. And be sure he's helping cook and clean up after meals, doing his own laundry and generally picking up after himself. That is about as much of the taste of the real world any 17 year old that's been coddled can handle for a month!

 

[SaraJayne]

So your aunt spoiled this kid, and now that he's almost an adult, she needs to send him to your house to unspoil him? I know wealthy people who still make their kids do chores. Raising kids can be hard work, and it looks like your aunt is too lazy to do it herself.

That's exactly what I thought. Why is she sending HER kid to someone else's house to teach him about the "real world"?

Is she too busy bossing around the maid to do it?