mini vent

[KennesawNemo]

I just need a mini vent. This is somewhat budget related, but mostly OT.

What would you do if a co-worker claims the office is too cold and then she grabs my jacket/shawl to warm herself up?

Our office has always been cold. I always kept a shawl and a wool jacket in my office. Both of which are somewhat worn, but still require dry cleaning.

Two weeks ago, she took my shawl, and she didn't return it. I asked it back after two days and she acted surprised, if not offended, that I dare to ask it back. Honestly, I don't know how to put this in a nice way, but, my shawl smelled/stunk after I got it back! I had to send it to the dry cleaner.

Then last week, she came back again and since I had my shawl on at that time, she grabbed my jacket. She wore it for the day, wore it back home, left it at home for two days, brought it back, still felt cold and continued to wore it. It's been a week!!!!

I just went to asked it back, she said no to me. She said she was still cold and eventually she'll get a coat herself when she has the time. Then she asked what I was being fussy about. I was speechless at that point. I am sure even she is eventually done with my coat, I need to spend money on dry clean again.

I am very upset. This woman sure has nerver. When she took things from me, she just took it without even giving me a chance to say no. On the other hand, once she took something, she somehow thinks she owns it and has the right to refuse to return it.

ok, i had my vent. feel a little better now.

 

[riley2008]

Do you have an extra at home? Bring it and put it on her chair.

Can you afford to stop by a resale shop and pick up something - even a $4.00 blanket from Walgreens.

I'd start putting my sweater/jacket in my desk drawer if possible.


ETA: Can you send out a mass email to coworkers asking if anyone has an extra jacket for XXX as she is always cold and can't seem to return yours?

 

[hereyago]

You need to learn how to say no, or better yet if she grabs for something of yours again: Hey sticky fingers, that doesn't belong to you.

You seriously need to set some boundaries with her. Has she done this to other females in the office as well and now you are the latest?

She isn't going to buy herself a coat, she has yours you are in fact saving HER money. Nip that in the bud! If the coat is with her, snatch it back!

 

[hereyago]

ETA: Can you send out a mass email to coworkers asking if anyone has an extra jacket for XXX as she is always cold and can't seem to return yours?

I love this idea, however, with it being a work place, sticky finger may get her feelings hurt and go to the boss with a sob story.

 

[momto2inKC]

Can you not just tell her no, that she may not use your clothing anymore? Maybe run into a thrift store and buy something for $2 if you aren't comfortable telling her no. Then the next time she comes to you hand her that.

 

[englishteacha]

I would not have left until the coat was back in my possession. I would then tell her that she is not to take/touch/wear my things ever again. The woman must own a sweater or something she can bring in!

 

[Good Morning Dewdrop]

how rude!

If I were you I'd keep my warmer clothes tucked away somewhere (a drawer or similar) so she couldn't get to them.

Do you have an HR dept you can talk to?

 

[hereyago]

Honestly, there is NO way I would spend my own money even on a thrift store to get this woman anything. She has a job,she knows it's cold in there. If the girl was going on break, I would say, hey are you going to go get you a coat?

 

[mamajo]

Oh, Hell No. I'm a mouse but that pushes the line! I'd be telling her to give it back no if,ands or buts about it. Then, I would put my items somewhere she couldn't access. I wouldn't apologize, explain or beg. You don't have to be nasty but firm. Now, jacket please. She's a jerk.

 

[bpesch]

You can't be taken advantage of unless you allow it to happen. So it's time to stand up and be firm. She will keep taking advantage of you unless you do. Good luck, it can't be easy working with someone like that!

 

[momto2inKC]

Honestly, there is NO way I would spend my own money even on a thrift store to get this woman anything. She has a job,she knows it's cold in there. If the girl was going on break, I would say, hey are you going to go get you a coat?

Oh, you can bet I wouldn't do this either. I would never have let it get to the point the OP has let it get to. People only treat you the way you allow them to.

 

[sydneysmom]

you have to stand up for yourself and just tell her NO MORE. She's an adult (I assume) so she can then be responsible for herself. I can't even imagine someone just taking my stuff then refusing to give it back! OMG!!! That's outrageous.

A while back, my boss started taking my shawl, but gave it back reeking of her perfume at the end of the day. She never offered to clean it, nothing. Finally, after I was so ticked off because I couldn't wear it, I took it home, washed it and now it's in a file drawer. And I pull it out when I need it....she actually asked me "where's the shawl, I'm cold". (don't you love it...THE shawl, like it's community property) I simply said, "oh, I had to take it home to wash it because your perfume was all over it".
(she hasn't asked again since.)

But you have to take a stand or this person is going to keep stomping on you and taking your things. What's next? she's short $1.00 for a coke so she's going to go in your wallet ??? End the cycle !!

 

[KennesawNemo]

Thank you all for the reply. I felt much better now.

She and I are somewhat "close". We joined the company at about the same time and because of that we ate lunch together a lot in the beginning since other co-workers all had lunch buddies at that time already.

I later found out there are quite a few things I don't agree with her, working style or personality wise. I kind of pulled myself back but still have lunch with her once in a while if she invites me. She, on the other hand, is the kind of person who thinks she is friend with everyone and everyone has to like her........

I think it's safe to say I am usually a very generous person, but to take it for granted that she can just take stuff from me makes me angry.

I admit I am still too chicken to complain to HR or send out a group email. I am going to ask again tomorrow and then if failed, would buy her a dollar store cheap blanket probably..........

 

[KennesawNemo]

Just another side story.

Once, during one of our team activities, I won a lucky draw and got a $25 gift card. She was the person who did the drawing, just randomly picked by our boss. The she said since she "helped" me won, I should buy her lunch. I was actually fine with that. It was something out of my expectation and I was glad to share the joy and luck at that time.

Two weeks later, she won a $100 gift card in another lucky draw. She never ever mentioned it to me. I only heard it from elsewhere.

How about buying me lunch this time? Well, I guess I was not the one who did the drawing, so I didn't helped her and no lunch for me.

Good thing is I love my job and she is really just a very tiny small part of it.

 

[worm761]

No. Tomorrow you go in and demand your jacket back. IF she has the nerve to refuse to give you your belongings back simply tell her that you will inform HR that she is stealing your personal belongings. Borrowing without permission and refusing to give it back is called STEALING. She is a thief. Yes, I would go there with her. There is absolutely no way in heck someone would take my stuff and then refuse to give it back. If she has been there just as long as you then she is completely aware of the temperature in the office. You need to grow a backbone and stand up for yourself. I am not trying to be mean with that statement but she is only getting away with this because you are letting her.

 

[worm761]

I am going to ask again tomorrow and then if failed, would buy her a dollar store cheap blanket probably..........

You really shouldn't. Really. That will just turn into a well, you keep the NEW blanket and I will keep the OLD coat. See where this is going? She has a job. I am sure she has a dollar to go to the dollar store and buy her own blanket.

 

[rigs32]

It may be petty, but this lady committed a CRIME. To take property without permission is larceny. To refuse to return your property that you allowed her to borrow is larceny. And you're considering buying her a gift?

 

[Gigi22]

So, does your office have any written policies on theft? Someone needs to remind this incredibly obtuse person that she is not allowed to steal things.

I think I would send her an email (document, document) outlining the simple facts, that as of such a date she has had your property and has refused to return it. Tell her you want your property back, clean and in good condition, by Monday morning at 9 a.m. and that if she fails to comply, you will notify human resources of her breach of office policy, and have them deal with it.

She could get fired for what is, after all, petty theft. No employer condones theft in the workplace.

 

[bearloch]

yeah Do not buyher anything ask asap for jacket back if she refuses I would loudly restate that you are cold and it is your jacket you need it back now! if she refuses again go to HR if you dont have one I would type up a nice simple note to the boss explaining the promblem and make a copy for her give her 5 mins to give back jacket then take to boss!! office theft no matter who or what is stolen is agains the law and usually is responded to by termination of employment! Good luck!

 

[susianew]

Maybe I'm just mean, but I would try to find some of that old joke shop itching powder (which is harmless) and apply liberally to YOUR article of clothing....if it works, look at her with sympathy and say, "I sure hope it's not scabies"