Military families: Honest question... please no flames

[Sleepy]

I've had heard people call my husband a baby killer, murder, paid killer and other things. He has been boo'd and told he should get out and get a real job. Don't think that people still don't hate now.

My father experienced something like this even after retiring with 20 years and getting a "real" job. You would not believe the attitude retired people get from civilians when they realize retired military get a monthly retirement check. My dad has been told it is unfair that he should get government money for doing "nothing" every month. My father asked them what they were doing during Vietnam. He also told them they had the opportunity to sacrifice 20 years of their life to get that money for doing "nothing". That usually shut them up.

My husband is also a career military person now retired. He is more fortunate that he is working on a military installation, so he has not experienced the ugly civilian side of the world as a retiree. No, I take that back. I have had an active duty military spouse tell me it is unfair that my husband (a contractor) gets his income tax free, while her husband has to pay taxes. You just can't win.

 

[jsmith]

I am not going to get into this politics of this. I just want to comment that there are people that are still ugly to military members and their families

Last September a close friend of my husbands was killed in an explosion in afghanistan along with 5 other soldiers-all national guard soldiers who had volunteered to be there training afghanis to provide thier own national security-the whole thing was made more traumatic by the fact that the national media used photos of the vehicle to illustrate the increasing sophistication of the insurgents weapons. After the public memorial my husband and 5 other soldiers went into a pizza hut to eat lunch and wait for the General to finish his private meeting with the family. A family in the resturant proceeded to lecture them on the error of their ways in choosing to wear the uniform of this country and -when they left the rear tires on their goverment owned vehicle had been slashed. Those things happen-and they happen in small town "patriotic" USA.

As for a "win" in Iraq-or Afghanistan-and i intend this to be historical-not a political debate-its not about "winning" in the sense that you tend to think of-but what i do think all of the guys who have been there want to see is for the people of both countries to have opportunities that the previous totalitarian regimes did not give them-economic, educational and politcial. Saddam Hussien kept his people in servitude-the average iraqi was starving-and accumulated wealth from his countries oil reserves while pointing to us and saying look to the evil west who steal your lively hood. The Taliban destroyed and culture and economy in Afghhanistan that rivaled the west in the 70s. "winning" would put those people back on the track they were on 30 or 50 years ago before extremism took over.

ETA-the till they all come home in my signature simply means i will stand behind them all-my husband, my friends, my brother in law-and all the soldiers i train daily til the mission is complete and they are sleeping safely at home.

 

[Sleepy]

ETA-the till they all come home in my signature simply means i will stand behind them all-my husband, my friends, my brother in law-and all the soldiers i train daily til the mission is complete and they are sleeping safely at home.

Without having an explaination, I would have guessed it to mean support and a safe return for all, including those who continue to be MIA.

 

[Nancyg56]

ETA-the till they all come home in my signature simply means i will stand behind them all-my husband, my friends, my brother in law-and all the soldiers i train daily til the mission is complete and they are sleeping safely at home.

In my heart I know that Chris reenlisted because his brother enlisted and was going to be deployed. This is not to say that the Marine Corps was not good for him or Timmy but that he felt strongly that he needed to be part of a brotherhood when his brother was sent overseas.

I also stand behind them all until whatever this mission is they are all home. My Sis IL does not understand, I have very little to say publicly that is not completely supportive, but my nephews wear a uniform that requires them to put their lives on the line and that is for me. I would doe myself before saying anything that would compromise them.

 

[ticktock]

Last September a close friend of my husbands was killed in an explosion in afghanistan along with 5 other soldiers-all national guard soldiers who had volunteered to be there training afghanis to provide thier own national security-the whole thing was made more traumatic by the fact that the national media used photos of the vehicle to illustrate the increasing sophistication of the insurgents weapons. After the public memorial my husband and 5 other soldiers went into a pizza hut to eat lunch and wait for the General to finish his private meeting with the family. A family in the resturant proceeded to lecture them on the error of their ways in choosing to wear the uniform of this country and -when they left the rear tires on their goverment owned vehicle had been slashed. Those things happen-and they happen in small town "patriotic" USA.

As for a "win" in Iraq-or Afghanistan-and i intend this to be historical-not a political debate-its not about "winning" in the sense that you tend to think of-but what i do think all of the guys who have been there want to see is for the people of both countries to have opportunities that the previous totalitarian regimes did not give them-economic, educational and politcial. Saddam Hussien kept his people in servitude-the average iraqi was starving-and accumulated wealth from his countries oil reserves while pointing to us and saying look to the evil west who steal your lively hood. The Taliban destroyed and culture and economy in Afghhanistan that rivaled the west in the 70s. "winning" would put those people back on the track they were on 30 or 50 years ago before extremism took over.

ETA-the till they all come home in my signature simply means i will stand behind them all-my husband, my friends, my brother in law-and all the soldiers i train daily til the mission is complete and they are sleeping safely at home.

 

[Jynohn]

When DH was deployed, people would say "I wish they would all come home" to me all the time. I have no doubt they thought they were being supportive, but to me, it came across that they pitied me because my husband was fighting a war that they didn't believe in. The disapproval wasn't spoken, but it was implied.

I know most people meant well, but the words were still hurtful. A much more supportive thing to say would have been, "we appreciate all the sacrifices your husband makes, and will pray for his safe return."

 

[monkeybug]

As for a "win" in Iraq-or Afghanistan-and i intend this to be historical-not a political debate-its not about "winning" in the sense that you tend to think of-but what i do think all of the guys who have been there want to see is for the people of both countries to have opportunities that the previous totalitarian regimes did not give them-economic, educational and politcial.

I was trying to think of something to say along those lines that wouldn't sound political, but I think you summed it up perfectly!
My husbands in the Military, and I live on a military base. I am surrounded by people who are trying to keep our nation as safe as possible in a million different ways, both abroad and here at home. I think a lot of them want the same safety for every family everywhere, not just the families here in America. I think they have also seen their friends killed or injured trying to secure other nations and don't want to leave until the job is done in honor of those soldiers.
I hope that doesn't sound political!

 

[DWGal210]

I just wanted to pop in and say this thread has been very informative, and I appreciate the viewpoints from all sides.

It's too bad that all political and religious threads were banned; I understand why they were, but it's threads like this that show we can disagree with each other or have a different point of view but still be civil. Heck, I've seen resort pool-hopping threads get VERY testy!!

Thanks, everyone, for the good info!

 

[pat fan]

Forget pool-hopping...bring up refillable mugs and see what happens

 

[joyjoy]

Would the opposite of "Bring our Troops Home" be "Keep our troops there as long as possible"? Is that what people want to hear? Does that sound better? Of course it doesn't. When I say "Bring our troops home", I have zero negativity toward the military, soldiers and thier families, decision making officers, etc. No, I don't like war. Does anybody? I understand that soldiers are doing their jobs, but just because I want them to come home does not mean I want them to be unemployed, or that I think what they have done so far is meaningless. I honestly just want all of them to come home and be safe. I don't know why it has to mean anything more than that.