MIL problem!!!!!! HELP!

[Princess Disney Mom]

My advice is dont worry about it. Three days is enough for some people. I know it is for me. If she wants more days she can upgrade her ticket. I often travel with family and we all don't buy the same ticket. Some hopper and some don't. Some do more days than others. She can eat at the resorts or downtown Disney on her off days. Just plan a few things together. Relax it's vacation it will work out. Have a great time.

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[shalom]

This. Keep the 3 PH/WP&M tickets. Alternate between theme park & a "more" option. MK, TL, AK, BB, EP, DQ. For the non theme park days, make ADRs at resorts or DTD. Make park ADRs on days you'll be in a theme park. Easy, peasy lemon squeezy.

I also think this is the way to go. Disney parks are exhausting, and few non-Disney people really enjoy even 3 days straight at the parks, let alone a week. If BIL and his family become Disney converts on the trip, they can always suggest adding days to their tickets while they're there, or start planning their next trip, but if someone else is paying, I'd go with the flow so long as every one's having fun anyhow.

Dining at the resorts on their non-park days can also be fun, or touring the resorts after -- checking out the animals at the AKL, or finding everyone's birth year sign along the lake at Pop, or finding all the cool stuff tucked away on every floor of the Wilderness Lodge are more relaxing than the parks when school is out, and can help recharge people for their next park day. You can't see everything at WDW in one trip anyhow, so why race around trying?

Unless everyone in the group is into winning that race, that is. But in this case, clearly not, so my advice to your BIL would be to kick back and enjoy.

 

[MermaidMommy]

Wow. I am also surprised, but by how judgmental some people can be. To me, OP had a perfectly reasonable question. I can't imagine taking my kids to Walt Disney World for 7 days but telling them they could only do parks for 3. Yes, it's great that MIL is taking the family, but did she bother to ask anyone what they wanted to do before she purchased tickets? In any successful family vacation, there needs to be a balance between what different parties want, and the idea that everyone has to be in lockstep and do everything together is often a recipe for failure. My family learned that the hard way.

OP, I agree with PP suggestion of a family vacation meeting, and, if more park days are something your brother's family wants to do, then have them bring the idea up with MIL and let her know they are willing to pay for them. If they can explain what they need extra days for - like having two days at MK or one day each at HS and AK - that might make MIL understand better. They should be able to come up with some way to compromise, by adding on extra days but still making time to spend with MIL if she doesn't want more park time, planning meals together, etc. that will make the trip fun for everyone.

 

[DebbieB]

Go with what MIL wants and if plans change once you get there, upgrade the tickets. No need for a pre-trip meeting.

 

[Pills]

Don't know how many people we're talking about, but:

3 day adult ticket w/PH & WPF&M = $341.87
7 day adult ticket w/PH & WPF&M = $390.86

difference of $48.99

3 day child ticket w/PH & WPF&M = $324.83
7 day child ticket w/PH & WPF&M = $371.69

difference of $46.86

Assuming 2 under 10 kids in a family of 4, the upgrade price is $191.70. Personally, I'd love to pay that for a Disney trip!

As far as how to handle it? "Mom, thank you so much for bringing us here on this vacation. We're extremely appreciative! We want to bring the kids to the parks more than just for three days - we know there's a lot to see and do. We'd love it if you want to come with us, but understand if you can't or don't want to." And then you offer to pay for her upgrade.

 

[Nancyg56]

I think that the problem is the so many "Disney Travel Agent Experts" are not experts at all but folks who listen to them daily do not know that. I think with a trip like this, even if there are no issues. a meeting is called for. I would explain to MIL the size of Disney and what there is to do She may not know.

I also think that MIL may have made her mind up and if this is what she wants to do, it is probable to know that before the trip. You can plan toupgrade when you are there but if MIL is blindsided, the trip may be a disaster. Better to know the rules upfront.

 

[tjmj9801]

I have to wonder if your MIL's TA has ever been to WDW...

 

[bumbershoot]

That's why I think DB should just do the three park days & each WP plus DQ. They'll use *most* of the tickets MIL has purchased.

That plan will use all of what she bought.

 

[mattsdragon]

trust me, the only thing better than only spending three of seven days with my MIL would be if she wasn't there at all.


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[jump00]

You don't need access to the parks for 7 days to enjoy the meal plan. There's plenty of dining, even character dining, in the resort restaurants.

Also, MIL's TA is saying she'll only need 3 days + WP, which you are having a fit about, but you are acting like this same TA by TELLING your brother he'll need 7 day park tickets. Why is your opinion better than the TA?

Sorry I don't think I explained the situation clearly ....... she wants my brother and his family ONLY to have a 3 day pass as well. They are more than willing to upgrade the extra days themselves. The mil wants to control their vacation as well. My brother just wants to be able to see as much as possible since they don't know when they will be back.

 

[jump00]

This. You need to have a "meeting" with the MIL so that EVERYONE knows what everyone else's expectations are for the vacation. It's great that MIL is paying for everything, but does that make you a prisoner to her schedule and goals or can you and the kids still do everything you want to do as well? If you are a "hostage" to the MIL's whims and wants, you and the kids may not have near the amount fun you are anticipating and it could lead to "disagreements" on site as the family wants to do different things all the time.

Definitely get all of this cleared up first before you leave. Shouldn't be too difficult to add extra days onto the park hoppers if they were bought thru Disney if you go that route. Good luck!

Thanks again for reinforcing my thoughts that if we EVER go to WDW with family it will be on OUR schedule, OUR plans, and if the other folks want to do something else they are are THEIR OWN.

Thanks for your insight!!!!! I agree - well said!

 

[Nancyg56]

Sorry I don't think I explained the situation clearly ....... she wants my brother and his family ONLY to have a 3 day pass as well. They are more than willing to upgrade the extra days themselves. The mil wants to control their vacation as well. My brother just wants to be able to see as much as possible since they don't know when they will be back.

This is what I was afraid of. In this case, a meeting is definitely in order. I would not want to bring my children to WDW and then tell them they must cool their heels by the pool with Gram. We have never even bothered with the water parks. DH hates them and DGD would rather chew glass than spend a day in one. I have no idea what these kids like but I would darn well want to make sure they enjoyed waterparks before I insisted they go to them instead of more days in Disney's main parks.

I think that before the meeting, your DB needs to know what he is willing to do. Is he willing to go along with MIL because she is paying? Is he and his DW willing to try to get MIL to compromise? I don't understand the mentality of a grandmother who sets these kinds of conditions on her family but
I think it may be hard for the kids if they really want to spend more time in the parks but Gram says no, and it may cause hard feelings if when they arrive, Gram acquiesces but is resentful.

 

[disney2014plan]

Well. if MIL is wanting to control the holiday, then your bro either has to decide that he will suck it up or not. At the end of the day, they are still getting a free holiday to Disney. Personally, I would pass if someone was controlling me that much, in the same way that I would pass if a Disney commando paid for me and insisted that I charge around the park, but thats my opinion. Do you want to teach the kids the lesson that you put up with being miserable because you want something done for you financially? I certainly don't.

The kids will still have a great time, even at the pool; last time our family went one day the kids were in the villa pool from 0800 until 2000, only getting out to eat and pee (at leat I hope they did...)

On the other hand , if MIL wants to spend some time with the family etc relaxing, then you should be able to reach a compromise (e.g. 2 extra park days but the kids should be told "Grandma has very kindly paid for your time here, and she would like to see you having fun by the pool and spending time with her")

I'm hoping that they should be able to reach a middle ground - good luck OP!

 

[chartle]

I think that before the meeting, your DB needs to know what he is willing to do. Is he willing to go along with MIL because she is paying? Is he and his DW willing to try to get MIL to compromise? I don't understand the mentality of a grandmother who sets these kinds of conditions on her family but
I think it may be hard for the kids if they really want to spend more time in the parks but Gram says no, and it may cause hard feelings if when they arrive, Gram acquiesces but is resentful.

I wonder if MIL knows that the difference between a 3 day and a 6 or 7 day is not that much more. Some people only see that a one day ticket is $85 and then multiply that by the number of days.

But OP not sure what to tell DB. How much does MIL get to see the kids. My inlaws have grandchildren in Texas and see them only a few weeks year.

 

[bumbershoot]

Sorry I don't think I explained the situation clearly ....... she wants my brother and his family ONLY to have a 3 day pass as well. They are more than willing to upgrade the extra days themselves. The mil wants to control their vacation as well. My brother just wants to be able to see as much as possible since they don't know when they will be back.

Is there time for him to see if there is a possibility of relatively low airfare and money for hotel within 365 days of the start of the trip? If he could work that out, perhaps he could upgrade to an AP. Do the MIL's plans then take another inside of a year?

 

[donnajherren]

Driver picks the music. Such is the way of things.

My in-laws have made noises about footing the bill for a big family trip to Disney, but I doubt we'll ever take them up on it. If they're paying, they'll want to control and micromanage everything. And it would be their right to do so, of course, just as it's my right to not go on a vacation they're paying for, no, never in a million years. LOL I know better.

That said, a family meeting probably wouldn't hurt. If MIL is really excited about the kids having fun, perhaps she'll respond to the fact that they may want more park time. In the end, only you can know whether that request would go over well or not.

 

[It'sWDW4me]

Sorry I don't think I explained the situation clearly ....... she wants my brother and his family ONLY to have a 3 day pass as well. They are more than willing to upgrade the extra days themselves. The mil wants to control their vacation as well. My brother just wants to be able to see as much as possible since they don't know when they will be back.

Ah, ok, well if MIL plans on dictating the activities for every minute of the trip because she paid for it so she gets to do that... well, DB & family is going to have to decide if they're ok with that and then tow the line or, if not, they'll just need to save up and take their own trip their own way on their own dime.


Me? I'd say thanks but no thanks!

 

[jump00]

Thanks for all your insight! I'm going to show my db your comments. They are very helpful. I agree my brother should add on the extra days himself and let her (mil) do what she wants. They are so excited about the trip but not sure why mil whats all this control. Family meeting in order.

Thanks again
jump00

 

[tjmj9801]

Thanks for all your insight! I'm going to show my db your comments. They are very helpful. I agree my brother should add on the extra days himself and let her (mil) do what she wants. They are so excited about the trip but not sure why mil whats all this control. Family meeting in order.

Thanks again
jump00

I mean, really, she can't physically stop them from leaving one morning to upgrade and hang out at the parks, right? She's being silly about spending every second with them if she's going to refuse to let them upgrade with their own money. My mil is a pool type also and we're park people so I feel for your DB. That's why we don't vacation with mil anymore.

 

[Mickey1Fan]

This thread is scaring me

I am a fairly new MIL and am travelling with DS and DDIL for the first time in the fall for a week at WDW and a week on DCL.

I don't want to share a room at WDW because we will be together on the ship and I don't think the want Mom there for fourteen nights! We are also getting different park ticket options. I'm all for a six day base ticket while they are looking at a four day water parks and more so they can do four parks and two water parks.

I admit I am having trouble letting go a bit and not planning their portion, I keep telling myself it really does not matter. I am very blessed that they even want me to travel with them.

So far so good.