middle school parents UNITE

[challada]

I both work in a middle school and have one at home, so I'm a bit "immersed" in middle school....

but, I would like to ask other parents of middle schoolers out there to UNITE!
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE...continue to SUPERVISE your child...they are still children, not little adults.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE...continue to be involved in your child's life...they are not ready to make life choices on their own.

The reason I ask is I just got done supervising a middle school Halloween party and apparently the favorite girl costume is STREETWALKER. I'm talking 11 and 12 year old girls in platform heels, and micromini skirts w/fishnet stockings. I can't tell you how many of them had underwear showing (some in both directions...top and bottom!). I look at these girls and wonder WHO bought these outfits and WHO let them leave the house in these???? And, no...its not a story of changing after leaving the house, some came to school that way today too!

 

[poohandwendy]

I hear you. My youngest is in MS (7th grade). It's amazing to me, how many parents revel in their little wanting to be all grown up and allow them the freedom to make adult choices on a regular basis.

 

[Buckalew11]

I hear you. My youngest is in MS (7th grade). It's amazing to me, how many parents revel in their little wanting to be all grown up and allow them the freedom to make adult choices on a regular basis.

I only have 1 child and she is a 7th grader also. I feel the same way as P&W.

 

[lovesmurfs]

My DS12 is in 7th, and he looks 17 or 18 (he's 5'8"). It's scary what people assume he can handle. He's still 12 in his brain (and in most of his actions!)

 

[challada]

I can count at least a dozen girls tonight that had skirts that were no more than six inches....from waistband to hem!

And let me tell you, the MS BOYS certainly notice these girls....and NOT in a good way!

Sadly, we then have parents in my office crying...wondering why their 13 year old is pregnant. Do you think it might be the LACK OF SUPERVISION???

 

[nightowlky]

I was at the Mall of Georgia a couple weeks ago and saw some middle school-age girls walking around in really short skirts with tons of makeup on and bellies showing. And, of course, parents nowhere to be found.

No way on earth my daughters would even be able to put a hand on the doorknob dressed anywhere near that. And for Halloween? Well, it's typically rather cool here for Halloween but I still see kids dressed too revealing. What are the parents thinking? (well, they're NOT!)

 

[minkydog]

I agree with you--in middle school, they're still children even though they look almost grown. My DD13 still sleeps with her blanky! We supervise what she wears, who she spends time with. We know her friends and their parents. We're involved in supporting her activities. There will be no "dropping off at the mall" for my girl, not for a few years. And definitely no riding in cars with boys or hanging out in parking lots. Most of her friends' parents are exactly like me; we watch each other's kids and they know we'll tell

 

[cats mom]

Middle school is such a tough balancing act.

I was always so involved with all my kids' classes/teachers all through elementary school, then when my oldest went to middle school a form came home asking for volunteers for a field trip. Only two parents signed up to help. (Not many kids were thrilled with the idea of having mom or dad come on their first field trip as an independant middle schooler) The field trip was just a walking trip to a local park and everytime the other parent or I offered to do anything we were told "it's OK, we've got it" or something to that effect. Not one of the 5 teachers there initiated a conversation with either of us and they barely spoke to us when we tried to get involved. And I guarantee it was not because they were busy. One teacher basically 'ran the whole show' while the rest stood and chatted.


I tend to not be put off easily, but I know the other mom there that day never set foot in the school again the whole two years her son was there.
At least around here the message seems to be that it's time for parents to back off a bit. Kind of crazy IMO


My cousin was a stay at home mom when her kids were young and she went back to work, way more than full time hours at a really stressful job, as soon as they both hit middle school.
She has always said that is the biggest mistake she ever made and if she had it to do over again she would flip-flop it. She says they needed her to be there more during those turbulent middle and high school years than they ever did when they were young.
Both her kids got into all kinds of trouble when they were given way too much freedom and little to no supervision in their teen years. One of them ended up getting it together, but the other one is still paying the price years later.

Like I said, tough balancing act.

 

[spazzyjazzy]

I hear you. My youngest is in MS (7th grade). It's amazing to me, how many parents revel in their little wanting to be all grown up and allow them the freedom to make adult choices on a regular basis.

I also agree with this post. I have one son who is in 7th grade.

 

[BibbidiBobbidiBOO]

My DD13 still sleeps with her blanky! We supervise what she wears, who she spends time with. We know her friends and their parents. We're involved in supporting her activities. There will be no "dropping off at the mall" for my girl, not for a few years. And definitely no riding in cars with boys or hanging out in parking lots. Most of her friends' parents are exactly like me; we watch each other's kids and they know we'll tell

ITA! My DD,11, still sleeps with blanky, baby pillow, and a doll! She is one not in a hurry to be an adult. She even wants an AG doll for Christmas. She dresses nicely, but conservatively too.

I have always said on these boards that I think middle schoolers are the ones that need the most supervision. I am here when she leaves for school and I pick her up and bring her home each day. I also volunteer in her school each week. I can continue to be a SAHM thankfully.

They had their first "dance" yesterday after school. It was a "fall" party and school dress code had to be followed. Costumes were allowed, but they had strict guidelines. She complained about "most" of the music. Said they played several "explicit" songs. I am going to have to get more info and follow up with that. If you can't say those words at school, they should not be blasted at a school dance.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I have 4 children, and my 3rd child is in 8th grade. Middle school is my least favorite stage. It's like the terrible twos with the hormones from hell all mixed into one child, who is taller than I am, who thinks they are an adult, but then turns around and acts like a child. And my kids would be considered the "easy" ones. I remember when my DD, my oldest who is now in college, was in about 8th grade or so, told me that she wished that I worked so that she could come home from school and do whatever she want without me knowing about it. Yeah, that made me want to rush out and get a job. With my current son, it's fun because he's going through his hormonal changes as I'm starting to have some peri-menopausal changes, which is fun. I'll probably have full blown menopause symptoms when my youngest child is in middle school.

Life is an adventure, isn't it, especially with middle schoolers?

 

[MushyMushy]

Ahhh, the joys of middle school! I remember those days fondly. NOT!

I'm student teaching in the middle school right now and I'm so pleased to say that the kids are great and I haven't seen what you're talking about. Teacher behavior, on the other hand, leaves quite a bit to be desired. I'm so discouraged to see how negative they are towards the students. They YELL and SCREAM at them so much. How can a kid learn in that kind of environment? Am I saying the kids don't push buttons? No! But who's the adult here?

Anyway, you just got me started on a vent.

 

[debster812]

The way our town's schools are structured, MS starts is 4th grade (yep, FOURTH grade). Our MS goes from 4-8 but they treat it like an upper and lower school. The 4-6th graders are TOTALLY segregated from the 7th and 8th graders, they ride different busses, and have classes in separate wings of the building.

That being said, I was TOTALLY freaked out at the aspect of my 9 year old being a 'middle schooler'. SO far it's been OK, his 4th grade teacher this year is VERY tough, very strict, but the word on the street is the kids coming out of his classes are the best prepared for 5th grade.

I am going to be looking into possibly turning my job into a job share situation, or working from home more as he gets older. I can definitely see that we're going to need to be REALLY paying attention to everything as the years go on.

 

[LBAK]

My youngest DD just started middle school and I already dread it. 3 years of constant battles. No you can not wear that makeup, no you cannot wear skirts like that, no you cannot stay out til midnight Yes, I am the worst mother in the world, your sister already told me that! I've got the answers memorized and I'm not afraid to use them!

 

[Pin Wizard]

Exactly what I reminded the school and the bus driver of this week. The bus driver thinks it's okay for my son to wait for the bus on a busy street. NO WAY! Lucky for me I saw what he did mid-week. He didn't have to stop at the street across the main road from us...which is a clue for ds to be ready to head to the busy street when the bus comes out of there. So the driver barely slowed down, never mind stopped more than 5 seconds. I was right at the road, and the bus was right in front of me. I called the school twice and let them know. Principal heard both nasty messages I left. The second call to them was to make sure this isn't counted as an absence on my son's record. This wasn't our fault! I've been assured it won't be. My specific words to the bus driver were...my son is 13 but he's still a kid!! He's NOT waiting on the corner of any busy street. The driver now knows to pick him up in our community when he's not picking up across the road.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

 

[tiggerlover]

Exactly what I reminded the school and the bus driver of this week. The bus driver thinks it's okay for my son to wait for the bus on a busy street. NO WAY! Lucky for me I saw what he did mid-week. He didn't have to stop at the street across the main road from us...which is a clue for ds to be ready to head to the busy street when the bus comes out of there. So the driver barely slowed down, never mind stopped more than 5 seconds. I was right at the road, and the bus was right in front of me. I called the school twice and let them know. Principal heard both nasty messages I left. The second call to them was to make sure this isn't counted as an absence on my son's record. This wasn't our fault! I've been assured it won't be. My specific words to the bus driver were...my son is 13 but he's still a kid!! He's NOT waiting on the corner of any busy street. The driver now knows to pick him up in our community when he's not picking up across the road.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Gee, Sandy, sorry this has happened. I think I know the street you are talking to and I wouldn't be happy either! DS starts middle school next year and he will have to cross a busy street by himself and I am not happy about that either. Hope you get the current situation resolved quickly.

 

[AKLRULZ]

AMEN challada! Amen! It's amazing how liberal (not a political comment) parents are today.

 

[isyne4u]

As a middle school teacher i agree with everything said here. These are not little adults and they do still need the input of mom and dad (or a responsible guardian).

These kids think they are adults until it comes time to do the work and then they point out to me how they aren't adults yet and this is too much work

I teach special needs kids, these kids need even more support than the general ed kids and yet I think they get even less. I could go off on an entire tangent on this one...as I head out to buy more school supplies since my kids can't seem to get them to bring to class...but I love the kids and I enjoy what I do

( I will admit to raising my voice on occassion...in fact yesterday I sent all 12 of them on a water/potty break with my assistant so I could hve two minutes to regroup!!!)

 

[challada]

Thanks all! I'm glad to hear I'm not the only "meanie" parent out there...LOL! I do have to say there were plenty of kids in appropriate costumes as well, but the prostitute look was aplenty! We have a grade 5 to 7 middle school and 10 year olds are SO different from 12/13 year olds!

I do love working w/this age group but I worry about so many of them. I've found that our building is unique in that we have teachers who work very hard at doing the best for kids. Our principal sets a tone that I think is carried out in every room. I've worked in a number of schools and have never seen the climate that I see in this building. We've got other districts coming thru to observe our school almost weekly to see what we're doing.

 

[RitaZ.]

In many ways, I think that kids this age need their parents' support and guidance more than ever. This is when peer influence can really steer kids in the wrong direction. They are still kids and shouldn't be engaging in adult behaviors, they will have plenty of time for that. There is no reason to rush them into things they aren't equipped to handle.

It's much easier to say yes to our kids than to say no. Some parents don't want with the unpleasant side of saying NO!