Michelle Duggar miscarries

[YodaGirl]

Exactly. I can disagree with thier choices, thier parenting, and believe they hold responsibility for the consequences of both without hating them.

As far as "hatred" that is just silly. They are TV personalities. They make money off of drama.

I didn't say that everyone who disagreed hated them. There have been some very hate-filled comments in this thread. I can't imagine another way to describe comments blaming her for the miscarriage.

I read that Michelle's doctor told her to let her miscarriage happen naturally. Is that standard protocol? When my friend miscarried at around the same time, she had to go in for a D and C. Is it dangerous for Michelle to wait around at home? I can't imagine walking around my house knowing that my baby was dead inside my uterus and just waiting for it to happen. That would be really hard to deal with.

When I miscarried, I was given the option of a D & C, medicine to help move a natural m/c along, or to just let it happen naturally.

There's no way that I could have done a D & C.

 

[abdmom]

I read that Michelle's doctor told her to let her miscarriage happen naturally. Is that standard protocol? When my friend miscarried at around the same time, she had to go in for a D and C. Is it dangerous for Michelle to wait around at home? I can't imagine walking around my house knowing that my baby was dead inside my uterus and just waiting for it to happen. That would be really hard to deal with.

Nothing is standard protocol when you're dealing with someone who has had 20+ pregnancies. With her age and who knows what the state of the uterus, I wouldn't want to be the surgeon doing a D and C on Mrs. Duggar. There's too much risk of complications. A D and C may cause excessive bleeding or perforation. I'm sure they'd sue if anything happened to compromise her having any future babies.

 

[3prettyprincesses]

When I miscarried, I was given the option of a D & C, medicine to help move a natural m/c along, or to just let it happen naturally.

There's no way that I could have done a D & C.

Nothing is standard protocol when you're dealing with someone who has had 20+ pregnancies. With her age and who knows what the state of the uterus, I wouldn't want to be the surgeon doing a D and C on Mrs. Duggar. There's too much risk of complications. A D and C may cause excessive bleeding or perforation. I'm sure they'd sue if anything happened to compromise her having any future babies.

I was just wondering since Michelle is so far along and has already had many pregnancies. If I were her, I'd be worried that I'd start miscarrying at home and then hemorrage or something. Especially since Josie was an emergency c-section, right? Wouldn't that put her uterus in a weakened state too, if she starts to miscarry and it can't contract properly?

I'm sure it's a very personal decision though and very sad to have to make. I know for my friend, she was greatly relieved to have it over so they could grieve and move on. Her pregnant belly was a reminder so for her, a D and C was the right option.

 

[DWGal210]

I would never wish a miscarriage on anyone, whether it's baby #1 or baby #20. A babies death is a death no matter what.

I do hope that they stop trying to conceive though and yes they do try..Jim Bob even said that on the show with the Bates. His words were something like "we are trying but so far nothing". Shortly after that they announce a pregnancy. It's one thing to not use birth control, but another to actively try when you know it puts lives at risk.

I agree. It's two different things to say "We're not using BC and if it happens, it happens" versus "We're actively trying to have another baby". Or, I wonder, does the "leaving it in God's hands" part apply to trusting him to bring the pregnancy to term so you try as often as you can?? I don't know obviously, just speculating.

I don't claim to know God, but as a Christian I believe God would want me healthy for my husband and kids versus having as many children as I physically could before my body broke down.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Exactly.

We have some real winners in our extended family too. It would be TV gold.

My sister had to hire 2 off duty police officers for her MIL's funeral services this past Thur.

 

[3prettyprincesses]

I agree. It's two different things to say "We're not using BC and if it happens, it happens" versus "We're actively trying to have another baby". Or, I wonder, does the "leaving it in God's hands" part apply to trusting him to bring the pregnancy to term so you try as often as you can?? I don't know obviously, just speculating.

I don't claim to know God, but as a Christian I believe God would want me healthy for my husband and kids versus having as many children as I physically could before my body broke down.

Agreed. Actively trying seems dangerous to me. Her kids should mean more to her than getting pregnant again. IMO they are taking things too far with leaving things in God's hands. He did give you a brain to use too, right? Not just a uterus and eggs. I wonder the message they're sending to those older kids (particularly the girls). My hope would be that Michelle would sit back, look at all those beautiful faces of the kids she already has, and say it's enough and be content.

I have three girls. After my last daughter was born, I had thyroid and heart complications. It took me years to get back to semi-normal. I'd have loved to had another baby, heck maybe even two more. But I realized there was no way I could care for the three I already have if I were that sick again. Not to mention that it meant another c-section which I wasn't too keen on either. As a Christian, I don't feel like I'm holding God back or thwarting His plan for more babies. I'm making a healthy and responsible decision for the family I already have and love. I wish Michelle could understand that, she is very lucky to have so many healthy children. And sweet little Josie still needs her.

 

[Nancyg56]

As far as "hatred" that is just silly. They are TV personalities. They make money off of drama.

Exactly. I don't hate her, I don't know her I don't understand the decisions they make, that's all

I agree. It's two different things to say "We're not using BC and if it happens, it happens" versus "We're actively trying to have another baby". Or, I wonder, does the "leaving it in God's hands" part apply to trusting him to bring the pregnancy to term so you try as often as you can?? I don't know obviously, just speculating.

I don't claim to know God, but as a Christian I believe God would want me healthy for my husband and kids versus having as many children as I physically could before my body broke down.

I have a cousin whose wife comes from a large family, 12 children, 13 pregnancies. I don't remember if my cousin is up to baby #8 or not, i tend to lose track but almost every pregnancy has been very difficult. The Dr keep telling them no more babies. I got one heck of a lecture from his mother, again my cousin, that God is in charge, it is their duty to do God's will, that God will take care of them. Okay. I get it. God is telling them it is a sin not to continue to have children. I was a bit testy because she had reamed my DD out over only having one child and that was selfish, Marisa owed it to me to have more. Really? Not my decision and kady had health issues that Marisa would not chance with another. So I shared my own opinion of people who forget that God gave most of us more brains than He gave a goose and expects us to use them. I told her that in IMP the ultimate selfishness is to put your own needs and wants over your children, which is what I thought her son and DDIL were doing when they chanced the life of the mother of so many children in order to have more. It was not responsible parenting as far as I was concerned. Every baby they had was in the NICU or PICU for months.

I never would have said anything, it was not my business but after the scolding my DD had gotten and the lecture I got because I refused to believe that I should interfere with their lives I figured she could stand a dose of my reality. So yes, there are people who follow this theory that God will take care of them.

 

[shaylyn]

I read that Michelle's doctor told her to let her miscarriage happen naturally. Is that standard protocol? When my friend miscarried at around the same time, she had to go in for a D and C. Is it dangerous for Michelle to wait around at home? I can't imagine walking around my house knowing that my baby was dead inside my uterus and just waiting for it to happen. That would be really hard to deal with.

I had to wait 3 days to be induced after we discovered our son died in utero. It was an awful time. I can't imagine what Michelle is going through. If her baby died 3 weeks ago, it's possible she won't go into labor for days or even weeks.

The Dr. didn't want to induce because of Michelle's c-section with Josie, but there should not be an issue. I was induced to deliver my son after having a prior c-section. The meds they use are not as strong--they didn't use Pitocin, just pills (can't remember the name of the med).

 

[princessmom29]

My sister had to hire 2 off duty police officers for her MIL's funeral services this past Thur.

OK, You win!!! I cannot imagine!

 

[bdcp]

I don't think it's anyone's business to judge how they choose to live their lives considering they are debt free, productive members of society. They are a wonderful family, and it doesn't affect any of you who are criticizing and thinking it's your place to tell them when to stop having children.

What amazes me on these boards is how in a lot of cases, people are told not to "judge" others, yet those same people who have no problem judging this wonderful, Christian family.

We live in a free country and the minute we start trying to limit the number of children people have, we have truly gone over the edge to a place I wouldn't want to live.

The almost hatred of them is absolutely disgusting. This family is far from a drama filled reality show. They are showing their way of life and do not live like any other reality show family I have ever seen.

As for her previous pregnancy with preeclampsia, it can and does happen in a first pregnancy and those women go on to have more children, and women die having their first, second, third, etc children. Just because you choose not to have a lot of children, doesn't mean it's your decision about how many others do have.

It used to be believed that miscarriages happened in 1 in 4 pregnancies (not all known about), now the numbers have been revised and more than 50% of all conceptions do not go to term. It's normal, it happens, and it's sad.

 

[Nancyg56]

I don't think it's anyone's business to judge how they choose to live their lives considering they are debt free, productive members of society. They are a wonderful family, and it doesn't affect any of you who are criticizing and thinking it's your place to tell them when to stop having children.

I think that when a family opens their lives on a national TV program, when they use morning shows to announce pregnancies, they are inviting people to have opinions. Don't get me wrong, they can do what ever they want but they have to accept that they cannot pick and choose how and when to allow commentary on their choices.

I really don't care what choices this family makes when it comes to increasing their family but I do have opinions on when enough is enough and becasue this is a message board that is discussing the pros and cons of multiple pregnancies after Doctors have said that to continue to actively try to be pregnant is dangerous for Mother and baby I chime in. I would have no idea what the couple did if they were not asking strangers to come into their lives every step of the way. I would never approach anyone and share my opinion but I believe it is fine to discuss it here. I think the posts have been respectful as well as thoughtful and see no hatred at all. I do see that we all don't agree, that's it.

 

[princessmom29]

I don't think it's anyone's business to judge how they choose to live their lives considering they are debt free, productive members of society. They are a wonderful family, and it doesn't affect any of you who are criticizing and thinking it's your place to tell them when to stop having children.

What amazes me on these boards is how in a lot of cases, people are told not to "judge" others, yet those same people who have no problem judging this wonderful, Christian family.

We live in a free country and the minute we start trying to limit the number of children people have, we have truly gone over the edge to a place I wouldn't want to live.

The almost hatred of them is absolutely disgusting. This family is far from a drama filled reality show. They are showing their way of life and do not live like any other reality show family I have ever seen.

As for her previous pregnancy with preeclampsia, it can and does happen in a first pregnancy and those women go on to have more children, and women die having their first, second, third, etc children. Just because you choose not to have a lot of children, doesn't mean it's your decision about how many others do have.

It used to be believed that miscarriages happened in 1 in 4 pregnancies (not all known about), now the numbers have been revised and more than 50% of all conceptions do not go to term. It's normal, it happens, and it's sad.

Well, I for one DON'T feel they are a "nice christian famliy". I don't care for thier particular brand of christianity. It is far to repressive an exclusive for me. I have real problems with the way they treat thier daughters. Frankly, I feel sorry for them that their choices are so limited. I don't think that just becuase they are debt free and supposed paragons of christianity they are above critisim. I feel that many of thier decisions are foolish,reckless, and selfish.

We feel free to criticize the decision of the mom that leaves her baby locked in the car while she goes into the store, even if she is debt free and a christian. I think it is just as reckless to get pregnant when you KNOW there is a massive likelyhood you or the baby will die. You are putting the life of your child in danger either way, and I don't feel like I can sit by silently and let that happen without at least trying to enfluence change. It is our duty as christians to help those who cannot help themselves and do not have a voice. It is not fair to the 19 others either that mom is willing to risk her own life over and over fro "just one more". I don't think anyone has the right to stop them from having children, but I do think we have the right to say we think it is foolish and morally wrong to continue.

 

[princessmom29]

I think that when a family opens their lives on a national TV program, when they use morning shows to announce pregnancies, they are inviting people to have opinions. Don't get me wrong, they can do what ever they want but they have to accept that they cannot pick and choose how and when to allow commentary on their choices.

I really don't care what choices this family makes when it comes to increasing their family but I do have opinions on when enough is enough and becasue this is a message board that is discussing the pros and cons of multiple pregnancies after Doctors have said that to continue to actively try to be pregnant is dangerous for Mother and baby I chime in. I would have no idea what the couple did if they were not asking strangers to come into their lives every step of the way. I would never approach anyone and share my opinion but I believe it is fine to discuss it here. I think the posts have been respectful as well as thoughtful and see no hatred at all. I do see that we all don't agree, that's it.

ITA. I think they have opened themselves up to scrutiny by taking money to go on TV.

 

[JaneBanks]

Well, I for one DON'T feel they are a "nice christian famliy". I don't care for thier particular brand of christianity. It is far to repressive an exclusive for me. I have real problems with the way they treat thier daughters. Frankly, I feel sorry for them that their choices are so limited. I don't think that just becuase they are debt free and supposed paragons of christianity they are above critisim. I feel that many of thier decisions are foolish,reckless, and selfish.

We feel free to criticize the decision of the mom that leaves her baby locked in the car while she goes into the store, even if she is debt free and a christian. I think it is just as reckless to get pregnant when you KNOW there is a massive likelyhood you or the baby will die. You are putting the life of your child in danger either way, and I don't feel like I can sit by silently and let that happen without at least trying to enfluence change. It is our duty as christians to help those who cannot help themselves and do not have a voice. It is not fair to the 19 others either that mom is willing to risk her own life over and over fro "just one more". I don't think anyone has the right to stop them from having children, but I do think we have the right to say we think it is foolish and morally wrong to continue.

I agree.

Also, there are people out there who make it their jobs to voice their opinions and views about abortion, planned parenthood, etc.. It is legal in this country to have an abortion and it is legal in this country to safely and peacefully protest them.

How is it any different voicing opinions about people, the Duggars in particular, who have litters of children? It's legal to have as many kids as you want, it's also legal to state your opinion about them.

I see no hatred, in fact, I see people saying the opposite. What I see are opinions. Nobody is out there bombing their house, they're talking about it on a message board.

 

[Wadecool]

My sister had to hire 2 off duty police officers for her MIL's funeral services this past Thur.

Wow!

 

[ReneeA]

I guess I'm not surprised by the miscarriage...she had a traumatic last pregnancy and she's not getting any younger. I feel badly for her - I lost my first baby in a 2nd trimester miscarriage, and it was hard for me to recover emotionally from it. However, I went the opposite way I imagine she's going to go, and was really, really hesitant to try again - even though I knew we wanted to have a baby and had tried for almost 2 years to get pregnant with that baby. I'm guessing she's going to hop right back on that wagon.

Anyway, I'm betting she's going to have a really difficult time when she hits menopause and there aren't any more babies. That's been her entire reason for living (not even raising children...just giving birth to them from what I observe). She's going to need a different hobby.

 

[CPT Tripss]

It used to be believed that miscarriages happened in 1 in 4 pregnancies (not all known about), now the numbers have been revised and more than 50% of all conceptions do not go to term. It's normal, it happens, and it's sad.

Seems like the 1 in 4 number is on the high side. And 50% must be counting all the zygotes that don't make it to embryo.

Spontaneous abortion (SAB), or miscarriage, is the term used for a pregnancy that ends on it's own, within the first 20 weeks of gestation. ... Miscarriage is the most common type of pregnancy loss, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG). Studies reveal that anywhere from 10-25% of all clinically recognized pregnancies will end in miscarriage.

 

[YodaGirl]

Seems like the 1 in 4 number is on the high side. And 50% must be counting all the zygotes that don't make it to embryo.

I think that you're probably correct. Many miscarriages occur before the woman ever finds out that she is pregnant. I think that's where the 50% comes from.

Of course, it could be a 1 in 500,000 event, and it would still be sad for all involved.

 

[PaulaSB12]

From what I have seen Mrs Dugger had a lot of trouble finding a doctor willing to have her as a patient, also she has been warned not to try for any more. The trouble is for the main part pregnancy is a drug for her and without another pregnancy she doesn't get the public adoration that she has come to expect. Now as for the quiverfull sect they are deluding themselves if they really believe that you could fit the whole world population into Texas. There are many other families that also follow this pattern of life but they do it quietly without fuss the Duggers had to have a tv show for their brood.

 

[dicar123]

Now as for the quiverfull sect they are deluding themselves if they really believe that you could fit the whole world population into Texas.

Actually you can, with each person in the world getting about 1000 square feet of space.

There are all kinds of legitimate arguments about other resources, but we're unlikely to run out of elbow room.