You live an hour-ish north of Manhattan and you are saying there are no opportunities??? That would put you in Westchester, Duchess or Fairield County, I would imagine.
Guess what? I live an "hour-ish" north of Manhattan too. There are numerous technical and trade schools, there are numerous opportunities. If your mother is willing to pay for certain types of schooling but not other types of schooling, I'd recommend that you discuss with her what she would be willing to pay for and look in that direction. Secretarial school (Gibbs College, formerly know as Katharine Gibbs) is highly regarded. Dental hygienist still seems to be a pretty good field too. Look to a trade school...hairdressing can be very lucrative....especially if you live in Fairfield or Westchester county. Lots of rich ladies there very willing to pay big bucks for their beauty. My hairdresser lives a heck of a lot nicer lifestyle than I do.
Waitressing makes you feel "disrespected"? Do you feel any more respected sitting home all day doing nothing complaining about how bad your life is? At least with waitressing, you're earning something. And you can only feel "disrespected" if YOU allow yourself to feel disrespected. Bad management....please
. Go to work, do your job, wait on tables and make some money to dig yourself out of this hole you're in.
Can't cut anything out of your budget??? I bet you can. Obviously you need to pay the rent/utilities/car expenses and eat. You say you need Internet access for your husband's job. Do you need cable? If not, get rid of it. Do you need the latest in technology, phones etc.? No...so don't get sucked into it. Turn off lights, turn down the heat, turn off the AC when the days aren't unbearably hot. Where do you shop? How do you shop? Do you use coupons? Do you watch sales? Do you stock up when something is on sale? If you're home all day, at the very least your "job" should be running your small household as efficiently and cost-effectively as possible...and yeah, if that means riding a bike to get to where you need to go, then that's what it means.
In my suburban town and "hourish" north of Manhattan, I see plenty of 20-somethings at my local grocery store who have a bike with a child trailer attached to it but they aren't carrying a child...that trailer is to bring home their groceries. When I was 18-21 years old and didn't have a car at my disposal, I rode my bike to work...probably a distance of about 8-10 miles from my parents house to my job....all in an area an "hourish" north of Manhattan.
You see OP, you're getting angry at people for telling you the way the world works. No one's is going to hand you anything. We've all been there. No one handed DH or I anything either...what we have, we worked for. And there were some VERY lean times....DH is a realtor there still are some VERY lean times. And when there are lean times, we adjust. We don't go out to dinner, we don't attend expensive events, we buckle down on household expenses, we shut off lights, we shut off air conditioners, I pore over coupons and what stores have what on sale, I plan the use of my car to conserve gas, I ride my bike (at age 50) to certain places when necessary on an effort to conserve gas, I pick up extra shifts at work, DH works a 60 hour work week....and so on......
You are actually fairly fortunate that you have a parent who is willing to pay for some sort of educationf or you. Granted, it may not be exactly what you want to do right now, but if your mother is willing to pay for SOMETHING, then figure out what she feels would be a worthwhile expenditure of her money and do that. Then you get a job in that field, catch up financially from poor past decisions and then you can go on to do what YOU want to do.
Siitng home saying "poor me" isn't getting you anywhere. Neither is your atitude, because it's coming off as nasty and self-entitled just like many other 20-somethings I know who thinks the world owes them a living because Mommy always told them what a terribly special snowflake they were. Hence the reason why you're having so many people who might hire you are telling YOU to "shove it"...no one needs a diva working for them when there are so many people who are willing to work without the self-entitled attitude.
Welcome to the real world....now go fix your situation, on all levels, starting with attitude and working your way out from there.
Retail is well known for it's flexibility in regards to hours/days that people need to work..even when they hire for seasonal help. 
