May is right around the corner... (need some advice, long)

[rpmdfw]

Personally, I'd live in a closet and sleep standing up, if it meant getting to spend time with my grandmother again. It's been nearly 25 years and I still miss her every day.

Treasure the time you've got with yours and stop focusing on the small inconveniences.

 

[starann]

Personally, I'd live in a closet and sleep standing up, if it meant getting to spend time with my grandmother again. It's been nearly 25 years and I still miss her every day.

Treasure the time you've got with yours and stop focusing on the small inconveniences.

I must agree....I would give almost anything to spend more time with my Bama. I miss her so much, everyday.

 

[hematite153]

I agree with Rob and Starann.

I'll also say again, that I think you should live on your own rather than with your Aunt. (I know that it's your decision, but, you did ask for advice.)

I fear that you'll end up skipping work (and have an excuse to avoid looking for more work) because your grandmother is ill, or simply needs someone to be at home with her when your Aunt is working.

It's great that they are going to be living near you and I hope that you get to spend lots of time with them. But, you really need to get in some consistent work experience and experience what it's like to support yourself.

 

[mickeysaver]

#1. House rules are a right of the owner of the house. Your Aunt is paying for it, not you, so there is no need to gripe about the lack of Disneyfication that you are allowed to display in her house. My father didn't allow me to put posters on the wall and I was allowed only two framed pictures in my room. It was his house, so I had no right to gripe. I understood that at age 6, so I am having a hard time understanding why this is such a foreign concept to you at your age.

As to the no one being allowed to sleep over rule, I can understand that too. Personally, I am not very thrilled when we have house guests. It's always weird to be forced to look somewhat presentable at all times and God forbid that I sleepwalk! Of course this doesn't even cover the fact that your Grandmother might be spooked by strangers in the house or have a bad night and go running through the house naked. You never know what some old folks might do if they are not in their right minds, so it could be more about your Grandmother's needs than yours and your Aunt obviously has thought of and will continue to put the needs of her mother over your needs, which is extremely fair.

#2. Yes, wishing your grandmother dead is a horrible thing. I find this comment to be truly inexcusable. Even when my Granddaddy was in the VA hospital and half out of his mind, I chose to volunteer my time at the VA, when I was in high school, just to have an excuse to go see him more often. He was one of a kind and during his clearer moments, it was so neat to see where my own father got some of his expressions and sense of humor. I will forever cherish those memories. My grandparents are all dead and gone. I wish that I had had more time with them.

#3. "Yelling at the world" is not always a bad thing, but if you think that your Aunt wouldn't like to hear what you have to say, why do you think that we would feel any less displeased by it?

#4. Sorry if this comes across a little harsh, but really, it's time for you to act more a bit more mature. I have tried to keep my mouth shut about your postings for awhile now, but really, this last update just pushed me over the edge.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

so my aunt and grandmother are here to look at houses. We've only had one full day of looking, and on our second day. Just a few houses to look at. But last night after looking with the realtor we drove around looking for new homes. She found a town home for 15K more than what she has pre-approved for. But she's talking to the lender for an increase.

She's driving me nuts. And she's making sly comments about house rules. Like no guys sleeping over. Umm i'm an adult, i can choose to live my way, not hers. And she won't even let me put up my mickey door. How can any one say no to having mickey?? And of course my mickey kitchen is totally out the window. She wants sea shells... Seriously, she not a freakin tourist or snow bird. She grew up in miami. I have nothing against teal, blue is my favorite, but sea shells of all things?? Gross.

For the most part 3 bedrooms are in her price range, which means even closer living quarters. I don't mean this to sound mean or evil, but the sooner my g'mother passes, then she'll move to the master. And if it's two story like the new town home, i'll have all of upstairs and she'll have downstairs. But i know, that sounds really horrible to think like that, but ma is 84... Her time is winding down.

I'll update later, just had to yell at the world without my aunt hearing.

Sandra, this is completely out of line. Completely. Even insinuating about the death of your Grandmother being beneficial in any way (purely as a matter of comfort! ) is completely inappropriate.

It's not your house. It's not your money buying the house. If you don't like the rules don't live there.

My Grandfather was the single most incredible influence on my life (and I'm totally in love with my Mother!) and losing him caused a part of me to die. The day he left, he took something with him that I can never get back, or find in anyone else.

You've had a rough time of things, but that is never a reason to be mean spirited and hateful to someone you are supposed to love.

 

[SandrA9810]

don't get me wrong. I love my g'mother, and i lived with her all my life. The hardest part is dealing with her now. I haven't lived with her for 7 years and it's hard seeing what old age has brought her. It scares me for not wanting to get old. I loved my g'father too and he died in '98. And i miss him too... But i felt like he died a good age... Not old enough to lose his mind, and still young enough that he worked all his life.
I have an odd sense about death. Especially since they're really religious, what's wrong with going to heaven?? I already miss her, because she's not ma i remember.
And i can't even tell my aunt that i even post on a board like this.

I know i cant be the house decorater... But i would like an opinion in it. And i will be helping to pay for the house, eventually it'll be mine. For now it's my aunt's name on the mortage because she has the credit. And this is what she wants to do, not me.

And there's no objections to house guests, just in my bedroom. Saying "no guys in the bedroom till your married". More like i'm a child rather than an adult sacrificing my life and time to help her.

And if you don't like what i say don't read it.

 

[mickeysaver]

Mourning the loss of the person that once was is normal, wishing them dead is not acceptable. Just because it's hard for you to see her getting old and losing her abilities doesn't mean that she should die sooner for your mental health or for you to have a bigger bedroom.

Again, when you have a job and are paying the mortgage in full, you can have an opinion on the decor, but until that day arrives, the Aunt's rules stand. Get used to it.

As for you sacrificing your life and time, let's see for this loss, you are getting a safe, clean, bug free, air conditioned place to stay with a bed and four walls. As I recall you have no steady self-supporting full time employment lined up for yourself and you have no exclusive adult relationship, so what exactly are you sacrificing again?

Oh, I will keep reading. It's like watching a train wreck, you know that it's going to be bad, but you just can't look away as the body parts fly out the windows and the blood stained glass lands at your feet.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

And if you don't like what i say don't read it.

You've got that backwards. You post it to be read. If you don't want comments on the content of your post, then don't write it.

 

[SandrA9810]

I don't mind the comments. I'm used to being hated... comes with the territory. Just some one made a statement about not liking what I post.

Maggie: If you only knew the other half of the story it would be a train wreck... from what I post, it only looks like an auto accident... not even a cool 90 car pile up because of a fog roll in, but rather a 2-3 car pile up off to the side of the road.

I already know what I want... but it's not anything any one else agrees with.

 

[mickeysaver]

Note to self......

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Don't try fixing that which is unfixable.

 

[OrlandoMike]

I already know what I want... but it's not anything any one else agrees with.

Do you really know what YOU want?

And if you truly do know what you want, why do you give a crap about what anyone else agrees with?

If you truly know what you want, you go for it!

But a word to the wise.......getting rewards in life often times takes work!

Sometimes even hard work!

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

I don't mind the comments. I'm used to being hated... comes with the territory. Just some one made a statement about not liking what I post.

Maggie: If you only knew the other half of the story it would be a train wreck... from what I post, it only looks like an auto accident... not even a cool 90 car pile up because of a fog roll in, but rather a 2-3 car pile up off to the side of the road.

I already know what I want... but it's not anything any one else agrees with.

No one here is "hating" you, so cut the dramatic language. It's wasted on those of us who know what it's really like to be hated just for being.

What territory? Change it, or get on with it.

Enough. We've done our best to support you, console you, have compassion for you, and even excuse you, all to no avail.

You are who you are and you have an absolute right to be that person. So go forth, and be.

 

[soulmates]

so my aunt and grandmother are here to look at houses. We've only had one full day of looking, and on our second day. Just a few houses to look at. But last night after looking with the realtor we drove around looking for new homes. She found a town home for 15K more than what she has pre-approved for. But she's talking to the lender for an increase.

She's driving me nuts. And she's making sly comments about house rules. Like no guys sleeping over. Umm i'm an adult, i can choose to live my way, not hers. And she won't even let me put up my mickey door. How can any one say no to having mickey?? And of course my mickey kitchen is totally out the window. She wants sea shells... Seriously, she not a freakin tourist or snow bird. She grew up in miami. I have nothing against teal, blue is my favorite, but sea shells of all things?? Gross.

For the most part 3 bedrooms are in her price range, which means even closer living quarters. I don't mean this to sound mean or evil, but the sooner my g'mother passes, then she'll move to the master. And if it's two story like the new town home, i'll have all of upstairs and she'll have downstairs. But i know, that sounds really horrible to think like that, but ma is 84... Her time is winding down.

I'll update later, just had to yell at the world without my aunt hearing.

Sorry, but did you really say, "As soon as my g/mother passes" you'll get a bigger room?? Wow, I'm shocked you actually wrote that... I would be ashamed of myself.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Some of your statements make you sound incredibly immature, greedy, and selfish. Perhaps you are none of those things, but that is how it comes across. I agree with DVC~OKW~96 - we have done our best to provide you with constructive suggestions. Not sure what else you expect. I understand needing to vent, but there are some things you simply do not say out loud, or post in a public forum.

 

[soulmates]

Some of your statements make you sound incredibly immature, greedy, and selfish. Perhaps you are none of those things, but that is how it comes across. I agree with DVC~OKW~96 - we have done our best to provide you with constructive suggestions. Not sure what else you expect. I understand needing to vent, but there are some things you simply do not say out loud, or post in a public forum.

Well said my friend, well said!

 

[TagsMissy]

OK a line was crossed and I am foaming at the mouth but will hold back since this is a Disney board...

For someone who just a year ago watched my grandmother ((physically she had mobility issues)) at 99 had the mind of a 20 year old and was sharp and quick with a comeback and held intelligent conversations go from full of life to passing a way in a month from complications of a fall it's utterly revolting you saying how you will benefit from your grandmother's death. What a despicable comment. I am sorry I could say worse but I am better than that and am biting my tongue so hard right now it hurts.

Lesson one.... it is not your house -- you are not paying the mortgage. Who cares if she chooses lime shag carpet, plastic covered furniture and paisley wall paper -- be grateful she is offering you a place to stay. If you want Mickey Mouse decorations get sheets and bedding for your room. Otherwise house rules = Aunt's rules as she owns the place.

If you can keep a job, take over the mortgage and pay your aunt back for the house for it to become yours one day then you can hang you Mickey door and do whatever other Disnification you want to do to the house. Until then suck it up.

No boyfriends sleeping over -- again see above.. House rules = Aunt's rules. Who knows over time that may change if you are in a stable relationship; maybe not... time can only tell. Either way suck it up.

Can't remember what else you complained about... what I will say in closing is stop acting like a spoiled 12 year old brat. Time to earn your dues, pay off your debts and act your age.

 

[soulmates]

Personally, I'd live in a closet and sleep standing up, if it meant getting to spend time with my grandmother again. It's been nearly 25 years and I still miss her every day.

Treasure the time you've got with yours and stop focusing on the small inconveniences.

I agree 1000%~I'd walk thru fire just to spend 10 minutes watching Lawrence Welk with my grandmother, one more time. I am really shocked by your insensitivity & immature selfishness. Could you imagine the heartbreak this would do, if your Grandmother & Aunt ever saw what you've written?? Just from reading your posts, I feel pretty confident they've helped you tremendously. Think about that, before you post something like this again.

 

[SandrA9810]

i loved that trip to branson, and i still have my beachball with the whole lawrence welk family signature on it. And the thing i like about it most, is she still remembers it.

Any case... I don't want to see her with alziemhers or severe dementia... It's bad enough she hasn't remembered she's in orlando. Everyday it's a new surprise that i show up. She doesn't even realize she's in a hotel room when she's sitting in it.

People always talk about how they don't want to become a vegetable getting old or loose their mind.... Why is it so bad that i don't want to see my g'mother go through it?
I don't expect other people to understand. No one usually does.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

I agree 1000%~I'd walk thru fire just to spend 10 minutes watching Lawrence Welk with my grandmother, one more time. I am really shocked by your insensitivity & immature selfishness. Could you imagine the heartbreak this would do, if your Grandmother & Aunt ever saw what you've written?? Just from reading your posts, I feel pretty confident they've helped you tremendously. Think about that, before you post something like this again.

OMG! Lawrence Welk! My Grandparents loved that show. My Grandfather particularly liked Guy Lombardo... NYE and all that jazz.

I remember his big old cars... they had those arm rests that folded down from the back of the seat to the seat. I'd sit on there... never once in danger because he had that "braking arm" across my chest when he'd slow to a stop!

Grandparents. Beautiful gifts.

 

[rpmdfw]

Any case... I don't want to see her with alziemhers or severe dementia... It's bad enough she hasn't remembered she's in orlando. Everyday it's a new surprise that i show up. She doesn't even realize she's in a hotel room when she's sitting in it.

People always talk about how they don't want to become a vegetable getting old or loose their mind.... Why is it so bad that i don't want to see my g'mother go through it?
I don't expect other people to understand. No one usually does.

Whether you want to see her go through it or not, you've got the chance to be with her and take care of her. That's what we do with people we love. We take care of them when they need it.

We don't wish them dead so that we can have their bedroom.

You're being selfish and short-sighted. Someday you won't have your grandmother anymore, and you'll wish that you could just sit in the room with her the way she is now.