Sorry I haven't been on here in a while!
I had a few fun tidbits to add about this past weekend.
At some point while celebrating MIL's birthday the prior weekend, I came down with nephew's disease of the moment. This happens EVERY time that child is out with us, he is always sick. Sneezing, caughing, and smearing his germs every which way. So of course I have it now. I thought I was going to die... I'm still not right, and it's been over a week now. I'm still kind of dizzy from all the crud stopped up in my head, but it's trying to "evacuate" now... never pleasant. But this weekend we decided to take MIL to the zoo to celebrate and teach her on her new Nikon digital cam.
While there, it re-confims the reasons why I do not have any business having children. OK, so you're at the zoo... there is a reason most of the animals have fences between you and them. And you have to feel nothing but sorry for the poor animals that do not get the luxury of a fence. For example... the free roaming geese. How many children did I see chasing after geese, yelling and flailing? I counted at least a dozen... on numerous occasions. Now, I don't know if these geese are just immune, but the geese I went after as a child would tell you to $#&* off by chasing you right back and hissing and squaking. Not these guys. Have to tell you I was rooting for the geese to do so.
Then there were the defenseless creatures... the butterfly exhibit. God I wanted to unleash right there, but at least the caretakers of the exhibit were very good at watching the children here. The children were crawling all over in the flowers and rocks (yes, they could have gotten hurt easily, and the parents just thought it was "cute") and seeking out the precious butterflies to "hold". Yes, they got a hold of butterflies. You can see the "war-torn" effects on many of them there, with tattered wings or such. The caretakers were quick to get after the children, but obviously not always quick enough. Then the parents seemed totally ticked that the people would stop the children in the first place, I couldn't believe it!!
Then there were the kids on leashes... gotta say that always makes me chuckle... but at least they aren't running rampant that way!
I got a doosey of an e-mail this morning. Apparently my whole 1997 graduating class is seeking me out and going the route of old friends to find me. They obviously aren't looking hard though, because I'm living at my parent's house (having moved back to take care of my ill mother) and am listed in the phone book! LOL. But one friend contacted me, she and I had kind of fallen out of favor sort of. I guess just not the closest friends because of some of the actions she'd taken (I don't take kindly to liars)... and she just really wants to see me. Um... ok - perhaps. The doosey was my best friend of many years (through Junior High and early High School) contacting me. We had lost touch for many years, though not by my attempts! During high school in the last year or so we kind of were seperating already because she had become really involved with a boy in the school and his church. After graduation I could barely find her. And when I finally did and e-mailed her, the responses were almost "holier than thou" and judgemental. OK, so I let it slide, she used to be my BEST friend! More dropping off the face of the earth... and come a year or two later, I get an invite in the mail (after having moved two or three times, she somehow found my address, probably my parents gave it to her) for her wedding. Not to be in it... but ok, that's cool - she has new people in her life - totally understandable. So I went. It was weird... she barely saw me. Understandable again - I wasn't in her party so it's not like I could be by her all day to visit. But what time we did spend seemed "obligated" and just generally "off". Not the same girl I knew. Now I know we all change, but all people that know me say I'm pretty much the same person I was then, just more dedicated. She seemed like a different person. So after that when I was planning my wedding details, I wrote her a letter (as I did for all the girls I asked) to be my bridesmaid. I got a call about a month or so later, asking me what the exact date was (and I quote) "so I can pencil it in". OK, I think that was the end for me. Because if she was still a friend, you don't "pencil someone in" or even consider using that term. It sounded so derogatory. After her wedding I have not even seen her - and that short phone conversation was the last I've spoken to her (and that was in 2001 I believe). I stopped contacting her because at that point she told me she and hubby (who coincedentally is also the boy she fringed out with from me in highschool for all things "church") were going to a missionary in Costa Rica indefinitely. OK fine. I didn't know what became of them after that, and honestly I didn't seek her out because of how she had made me feel that last time.
So I got an e-mail from her this morning explaining how everyone is looking for me so she thought she'd try. OK, so where the hell has SHE been all this time? And goes on to tell me how they have a toddler now... (so I'm sure that will have changed her further, for the better I have yet to discover). This sounds so terrible of me, but I've been hurt by her. Now I'm just trying to figure out if I should just be cordial and try to rekindle a friendship, or what. I am at a loss. I am not sure I want to burn that bridge either because she has connections to a business through family that I am desperately trying to be part of and could possibly get a break that way. Not that I would ever want to use someone for that or like that, but it's still there floating in the back of my head - and I know that is so evil of me to think. Like if I break the connection for good, there will never be that possibility. And just the thought that things will never be like they were. But then again, maybe she is different and someone I would be friends with at this point in my life - just try it. I just don't want to be hurt again. There's so much more than can fit on this page... but just trying to convey what I'm feeling, and hopefully see if someone might have some words of advice.
Sorry for such a long vent! Talk to ya'll later!
I wanted to name our cat "Spot" No one else thought that was funny!
kids. 10 girls and 1 boy. Complete with a real Italian godfather. They had a cat that was named "Dog". It was funny hearing someone call "Dog" and this cat would come trotting to you.
JD in Don Juan DeMarco or Baseballlllllll??? hmmmmm
