Marrieds choosing not to have kids

[PrincessKitty1]

Well, I get back from Disneyworld, and what do I see but folks chatting about getting back from Disney!

We just got back from a long weekend (3 nights) at the Epcot Food and Wine Festival. Excuse me, but can I please just LIVE at Epcot, maybe on the 2nd floor over the Twinings shop in the UK, so I can hear the British Invasion whenever I want??

This is our 5th Food and Wine Festival, and it was leaps and bounds better than the previous years (though every year has been fabulous!). I think there were about 10 more food booths this year, plus lots more entertainment (singers, dancers, mini-seminars).

I didn't see any kid meltdowns, but I did see a drunk adult go off on the poor CM behind the counter at the Dominican Republic booth (because the computers had just gone down and she couldn't process a credit card), to the point where I finally turned to the drunk and said, "You've had too much to drink." She then went off on me (one of those every-other-word-is-the-f-word kind of rants) and as I walked away, a cast member was telling her she needed to leave the park and that they were calling security. (If that was anybody on this board, let me remind you that beer doesn't mix with your meds! ).

Anyway, we had a GREAT time and we will also be going back for the last weekend of the festival (already have reservations), plus maybe one more weekend in between.

 

[Liisa]

PrincessKitty1,

I'm jealous. I've been wanting to hit WDW during the Food & Wine Festival. I thought maybe we'd do it next year. Our Spring trip is to Mexico, so I figured I was safe banking on our Fall trip being back to Disney. But then hubby (in good company with Madd's DH) asked me very nicely if we could try one of the "other" DVC properties - huh, there are OTHER DVC properties??? and why would I go there? So it looks like we'll be giving either Hilton Head or Vero Beach a whirl. Honestly, since we'll have gone 5 times in twelve months by them time January comes around, I really can't complain.

But please feel free to share Food & Wine stories. I'd love to hear them.

Anyone been to both HH and VB? Looks like I need to choose!

Liisa

 

[CurlyJo224]

I was so glad to see a thread like this on a Disney board.

My husband have been married just shy of a year and are childfree. We have various health problems that we just don't want passed on. I had a tubal ligation several months before we were married, and all is well.

Being newly married, we've gotten the usual questions, but fortunately the health reason usually stops the conversation. We have gotten a few of the "Well, there's always adoption!" comments. We just tell them that it's an option later, but it doesn't fit into our life now. We really don't plan on it, but it shuts people up.

I did have one customer say, "So, when is the baby coming?" I gave her a blank look, smoothed down my shirt to show no baby belly TYVM, and said, "It's not. Why do you ask?" She felt bad about it, but she should have for such an assumption.

On a happier note, DH and I are going to WDW from October 27 to November 1 for our first anniversary. We honeymooned there last year, and we had a blast at the MNSSHP (did I get all the right letters in there?) and the Food and Wine Festival. It was my fourth trip, and DH's first. This year ought to be fun.

Only 26 more days!

 

[fakereadhed]

one customer say, "So, when is the baby coming?" I gave her a blank look, smoothed down my shirt to show no baby belly TYVM, and said, "It's not. Why do you ask?"

Good for you! Nobody should ask any woman that question. EVER. I really applaud you for returning the question back to it's rude owner and letting them face the music. Too many people let things like that bother them instead of teaching the other person what an uncomfortable question they have asked. Bet that person won't make that mistake again!

 

[kennancat]

Anyone been to both HH and VB? Looks like I need to choose!

Liisa

DH and I have stayed at both DVC properties. I liked the Vero one better personally, although I grew up in Vero, so I'm a bit biased It was convenient that the resort was right there on the beach (at HH you have to take the shuttle or drive out to the beach house, in case you hadn't read that yet) and the pool was a bit nicer. The architecture felt brighter to me and you have a full-service restaurant at the resort as an option. Being so used to visiting WDW, HH felt a little weird to me because it's right there in the middle of several other resorts. I'm used to feeling more encapsulated in Disney-ness, which I think Vero does better than HH. DH points out that there is more to do in HH (golf, shopping, nearby towns) and a wider selection of good restaurants, so there's the unbiased part of the review So, if you're looking for a more laid-back vacation, I'd suggest Vero, if you want more activity, go with HH.

 

[kennancat]

BTW, I saw this story on one of the other CF boards that I lurk on, and decided to repost since it was Disney-related. I'm removing the names though (since I'm not sure about the "netiquette" of doing this).

Funny Story: [Wife] and I were at Walt Disney World, having supper in the 50's Prime Time Café. We struck up a conversation with a family at the table next to us. Eventually the conversation went something like this:

MOM FROM OTHER TABLE: Y'all newlyweds?

ME: No, we've been married 7 years.

MOM: Y'all hire a babysitter for your kids?

ME: No, we don't have kids.

MOM: Oh, you left them at home with their grandparents.

ME: No, we don't have kids.

MOM: *crickets chirping*

...and the conversation came to an abrupt end right there!

 

[PrincessKitty1]

Hi everyone, we just got back on Sunday from WDW and the DCL cruise. We had a fabulous time.

Oooh, I want to pick your brain about cruising! Beleive it or not, I've never cruised. I'm afraid I would be bored and claustrophobic. I'm not a pool person at all and I'm afraid I wouldn't have enough to do and would be pulling out my hair! When I go on vacations I generally like to go, go, go (that's whay I like WDW so much--there's so much to do).

So, what do you think??

I'm glad to hear you enjoyed your cruise....sounds like you would recommend DCL to other childfreers! I read that all the decks have high plastic shields around them.....do you really get the outdoorsy feeling from being out on deck and on your cabin balcony, or are the high plastic walls annoying? I am so curious. I would love to just go aboard a ship and see what it's like.

 

[FortWildernessLoopy]

Oooh, I want to pick your brain about cruising! Beleive it or not, I've never cruised. I'm afraid I would be bored and claustrophobic. I'm not a pool person at all and I'm afraid I wouldn't have enough to do and would be pulling out my hair! When I go on vacations I generally like to go, go, go (that's whay I like WDW so much--there's so much to do).

So, what do you think??

I'm glad to hear you enjoyed your cruise....sounds like you would recommend DCL to other childfreers! I read that all the decks have high plastic shields around them.....do you really get the outdoorsy feeling from being out on deck and on your cabin balcony, or are the high plastic walls annoying? I am so curious. I would love to just go aboard a ship and see what it's like.

I've taken 4 DCL cruises and I have no children. I LOVE DCL!! The ships are gorgeous and there are so many adult only areas not to mention child only areas that you hardly ever even see them. In fact, if you are adults travelling with only other adults and opt for the 2nd dining, you will (more than likely) be in a dining rotation without children!

You won't be bored...they won't let you. There's so much to do that boredom is never an option,,,they're Disney. BTW, the plastic walls are not een close to annoying and the plexi on the railing isn't even noticeable. If you want to get really in depth on all things DCL, may I suggest cruisecritic.com? There is a whole section with nothing but Disney cruisers .

 

[aclov]

DH and I have no children and went on the DCL in 2006. He had never cruised before, I had went on a Royal Caribbean cruise with a friend and her family. We didn't even go to the pool which we love doing, but didn't find the time. I would also recommend the 2nd seating, most of the kids there were older. We sat with a couple a little younger than us who had a very well-behaved one year. This little boy was the cutest thing! My DH and I looked forward to seeing him every evening. There is plenty to do and the ports take up alot of time too. I'm not sure if I would do another Disney Cruise, not that I didn't enjoy it but comparing it to RCL I would do maybe Carnival or another Royal Caribbean.

I thought the food was good but not as fancy as maybe other cruise lines.

Castaway Cay is really nice except for the little bugs on the beach. Yuck! But they have a great adult only area.

 

[Liisa]

Since it's related to the CF topic, I thought some of you might be interested in this article....

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21115130/wid/11915773?GT1=10514

Looks like articles on people who choose a childfree life are definitely increasing.

 

[raven69david]

Just saw this post and thought i'd put my 2 cents in. I'm glad everyone without kids that doesn't want them is happy. I've been trying to understand how a person would not want kids, but haven't even begun to scratch the surface as to how this could be. I guess i'd never understand as there's no way my wife and I would feel complete without children. We only have 1 DD which is 2 and she is the best thing God has ever created. Such happiness and joy she brings to our lives that i could not imagine life without her. My wife and I met in 94, got married in 98 and had our daugher in '04. We did it cuz we knew we were ready for the responsibility. The OP's notion of "that's to be expected" is a big old load of BS. Kids are a product of love between two people. You don't have to have a child to love one another, but if you decide to have a child(ren), others shouldn't try to cop-out by saying "they were expected to have children and they are now trapped" or phrases to that effect by couples who don't want children.

Religions believe that having children should be expected of 2 people. I say it's up to the 2 people if this is what they want. If they don't, fine. But ultimately, they make their decision as a couple. We make our decisions as a family and it feels terrific. I want to say that i feel sad for anyone who deprives themselves of such a wonderful miracle, but if they never have it, they'll never miss it. Best of Luck to everyone. Hope to meet you all someday on our upcoming and future trips.

 

[Shyvioletisme]

I did have one customer say, "So, when is the baby coming?" I gave her a blank look, smoothed down my shirt to show no baby belly TYVM, and said, "It's not. Why do you ask?" She felt bad about it, but she should have for such an assumption.

My friend has been asked this so many times... And I have to say, that I'm a big girl and I have never been asked so I can't even imagine why when looking at my friend who is not skinny, but definitely skinnier than me that they would assume she is pregnant. That is such a horrible question to just ask a stranger at random. I know they are trying to be friendly, but my feelings are, unless you know for a fact this person is having a baby, best to keep quiet and don't ask...

 

[Shyvioletisme]

Just saw this post and thought i'd put my 2 cents in. I'm glad everyone without kids that doesn't want them is happy. I've been trying to understand how a person would not want kids, but haven't even begun to scratch the surface as to how this could be. I guess i'd never understand as there's no way my wife and I would feel complete without children. We only have 1 DD which is 2 and she is the best thing God has ever created. Such happiness and joy she brings to our lives that i could not imagine life without her. My wife and I met in 94, got married in 98 and had our daugher in '04. We did it cuz we knew we were ready for the responsibility. The OP's notion of "that's to be expected" is a big old load of BS. Kids are a product of love between two people. You don't have to have a child to love one another, but if you decide to have a child(ren), others shouldn't try to cop-out by saying "they were expected to have children and they are now trapped" or phrases to that effect by couples who don't want children.

Religions believe that having children should be expected of 2 people. I say it's up to the 2 people if this is what they want. If they don't, fine. But ultimately, they make their decision as a couple. We make our decisions as a family and it feels terrific. I want to say that i feel sad for anyone who deprives themselves of such a wonderful miracle, but if they never have it, they'll never miss it. Best of Luck to everyone. Hope to meet you all someday on our upcoming and future trips.

Nice to hear your opinion, I'd also like to add that where I come from the "it's to be expected" in reference to having kids is not BS. it is so true...I know SOO Many people who do not like kids, never wanted kids, but got married, still didn't want kids, but basically had them because everyone expected them to. Horrible situation, but it happens A LOT! BTW, I don't feel like not having a child deprives me of anything. I and my husband are completely whole as people and as a couple without children. I fee like my life is completely fulfilling and wonderful without children and feel that would not be the case were I to have them.
Don't want to come off as rude or anything, just putting in my thoughts to your post...Once again. Thanks for sharing your opinion!

 

[kennancat]

Since it's related to the CF topic, I thought some of you might be interested in this article....

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21115130/wid/11915773?GT1=10514

Looks like articles on people who choose a childfree life are definitely increasing.

Interesting article - also kind of interesting to go read the comments that people have left. Vast majority of people say "good for him", but you do have the "oh, he's so selfish" ones too. There's definitely a full bingo card there. I love the person who pointed out that it's kind of hypocritical to call someone selfish and then point out that there'll be no one to take care of them when they're old What makes it clear to me that some people really just don't get it is the number of the negative posts that criticize the guy for having a vasectomy now and ask what happens if he falls in love with and wants to marry a woman who wants kids. Get a clue people - a woman who wants kids won't be the woman of his dreams because she won't share the same values and goals as he does.

 

[kennancat]

Just saw this post and thought i'd put my 2 cents in. I'm glad everyone without kids that doesn't want them is happy. I've been trying to understand how a person would not want kids, but haven't even begun to scratch the surface as to how this could be. I guess i'd never understand as there's no way my wife and I would feel complete without children. We only have 1 DD which is 2 and she is the best thing God has ever created. Such happiness and joy she brings to our lives that i could not imagine life without her. My wife and I met in 94, got married in 98 and had our daugher in '04. We did it cuz we knew we were ready for the responsibility. The OP's notion of "that's to be expected" is a big old load of BS. Kids are a product of love between two people. You don't have to have a child to love one another, but if you decide to have a child(ren), others shouldn't try to cop-out by saying "they were expected to have children and they are now trapped" or phrases to that effect by couples who don't want children.

Religions believe that having children should be expected of 2 people. I say it's up to the 2 people if this is what they want. If they don't, fine. But ultimately, they make their decision as a couple. We make our decisions as a family and it feels terrific. I want to say that i feel sad for anyone who deprives themselves of such a wonderful miracle, but if they never have it, they'll never miss it. Best of Luck to everyone. Hope to meet you all someday on our upcoming and future trips.

I don't think it's important that you understand how a person could not want kids - it's important that you understand that some people don't and feeling that way doesn't make them bad, it just makes them different from you.

BTW, something that I've never come out and specifically said, but that I think a lot of CF/FS(fence-sitters) would agree with is that I WANT people who do choose to have children to be happy with that decision. I don't want them to regret it and feel jealous of me for not making the same choices that I did. I feel so bad for people who make the choice to have children and then realize that they wish they hadn't. What an awful place to be, both for the child and the parent. I do believe the majority parents are glad they made the decision to have kids (I think biology and hormones help create those feelings to help survival of the species) but I do think there are people that had kids because it was expected and regret it. Check out that article mentioned above and some of the comments posted - people who automatically label any CF person as selfish or try to force them to have children out of fear ("who will take care of you when you're old", "you'll regret it one day") and then tell me that there's not pressure to have kids.

 

[Hixski]

Oooh, I want to pick your brain about cruising! Beleive it or not, I've never cruised. I'm afraid I would be bored and claustrophobic. I'm not a pool person at all and I'm afraid I wouldn't have enough to do and would be pulling out my hair! When I go on vacations I generally like to go, go, go (that's whay I like WDW so much--there's so much to do).

So, what do you think??

I'm glad to hear you enjoyed your cruise....sounds like you would recommend DCL to other childfreers! I read that all the decks have high plastic shields around them.....do you really get the outdoorsy feeling from being out on deck and on your cabin balcony, or are the high plastic walls annoying? I am so curious. I would love to just go aboard a ship and see what it's like.

Everyone else pretty much answered your questions so I will just post a few pictures. Be careful, after seeing these you may want to go even more!!!

Sunset from the boat.

A couple of pictures from St. Maarten.

Orient Beach on St. Maarten

St. Thomas

Pirate night. These were our servers.

Palo brunch - dessert table

Goofy up on deck.

This is the adult pool when we got on Saturday before anyone got in.

Castaway Cay.

 

[maddhatir]

Everyone else pretty much answered your questions so I will just post a few pictures. Be careful, after seeing these you may want to go even more!!!

Hey Hix!

Thanks for sharing this pics- Glad to hear you had a great time!

 

[zima-cheryl]

I don't think it's important that you understand how a person could not want kids - it's important that you understand that some people don't and feeling that way doesn't make them bad, it just makes them different from you.

I don't understand how some folks can be Yankees fans.

I am still good friends w/them - I just don't understand.

 

[Shyvioletisme]

Hixski, great great pictures!!!

 

[Markstudy]

I've been trying to understand how a person would not want kids,

I guess i'd never understand as there's no way my wife and I would feel complete without children. .

Maybe I can help you understand

I spent 25 years growing-up and being a kid (took a few extra years to finish college, after changing major)

Now I had a choice.... spend the next 25 years, doing the same thing I just did all over again
or try something new.

I guess I never thought I'd be complete without seeing the rest of the world.

PTA, School Bus, pee-wee baseball, shopping for back to school, drinking cool-aid, birthday party, learning to ride a bike, first kiss, skinned knee.... just sounds dull as dishwater...
to do it all-over-agin? It was fun the first time around. Now for something new

.