Marrieds choosing not to have kids

[blondeheroine]

*peeps out*

A little bird told me this was where the cool kids hang out.

I've been entrenched in that "other" thread y'all have been discussing.....

 

[maddhatir]

*peeps out*

A little bird told me this was where the cool kids hang out.

I've been entrenched in that "other" thread y'all have been discussing.....

 

[Liisa]

*peeps out*

A little bird told me this was where the cool kids hang out.

I've noticed a few people over there that need to come over here. Maybe we should post a general invite? (hmmm, on second thought, that may attract the "wrong" people)

Blondeheroine, welcome to our club! We *are* a fun group!!! (just ignore what other people are saying about us (we do)!!!


Besides, we always welcome people who have Pirates in their avatar!!! Yo, ho!

 

[Hixski]

*peeps out*

A little bird told me this was where the cool kids hang out.

I've been entrenched in that "other" thread y'all have been discussing.....

Yes, it is cool here on the dark side.

 

[kennancat]

I've noticed a few people over there that need to come over here. Maybe we should post a general invite? (hmmm, on second thought, that may attract the "wrong" people)

Could always send the good ones a PM

 

[aclov]

Hypothetically, if I had posted on the mommy boards how I had decided to stop trying for a baby get my tubes tied there would have been a judgmental uproar about fertility treatments, adoption, you name it!

This is so true - people always have something to say! DH and I have been married for 7 years and people will ask why we don't have kids When I tell them we've been trying they usually ask if we've gone to the doctor. When I tell them "YES!" or that I've had 2 IVF's, than they suggest adoption. When I tell them adoption is expensive or DH really doesn't want to adopt, than they suggest foster care or usually just say "Oh" Not one person, except for my Dad, has ever said to lead a child-free life. My dad is the only one that has said "I know you want children but alot of people choose not to have any, don't feel pressured, and it's okay if you don't have kids" And I know he's not saying it to make me feel better but he does believe that.

 

[aclov]

Yes, it is cool here on the dark side.

I'm at work so I only read some of the posts but some of them had me cracking up I'll need to read more of that thread later....

 

[blondeheroine]

I've noticed a few people over there that need to come over here. Maybe we should post a general invite? (hmmm, on second thought, that may attract the "wrong" people)

Blondeheroine, welcome to our club! We *are* a fun group!!! (just ignore what other people are saying about us (we do)!!!


Besides, we always welcome people who have Pirates in their avatar!!! Yo, ho!

Thanks! After seeing some of those posts on the "other" thread, I have no doubt that you are a fun group.

Yes, it is cool here on the dark side.

Always did prefer Vader to Luke.

 

[maddhatir]

O-M-G you guys!

I went grocery shopping by myself today- BIG shopping w/o DH- never again! I like when he goes, he bags everything, puts it in the car- carries it in the house and then helps put it away!

Ok- well that is not what I am OMG'ing-- While shopping I saw this poor woman ......she was about 5' 100 lbs, she had (2) carts and she was alone with (4!) of her kids- they were from about 3 to 7 and 2 of them were twins- 3 boys and one girl who was the oldest.

Anyway- I see them turning down the aisle I am getting ready to go down. I thought of this board- and the other thread that we have been hanging out on! Yes- the DIS pops in my head 100's of times a day!- It's crazy!

I look at the little girl and she seems she just finished crying, they are all still walking and stop about half way down the aisle.

So- mom decides she is gong to have a talk with the little girl to see what her brother did- I hear her saying- he punched me in the eye (her cheek WAS red) then the kids just go crazy! Mom is still trying to talk to the daughter and the boys are running around-- the littlest boy starts picking up mini chocolate morsels off of the floor and eating them It was mayhem!

I was cracking up! There was an older woman right next to me who happened to know the mother- they were not together though. And she told the kid to stop eating off of the floor- she said the 5 second rule was over long ago-- the mom said are you sure about that b/c HE was the one who probably spilled the bag.

While the kid was eating off of the floor- the older woman looks at me and says- "OMG brings back memories, doesn't it?" Well I doubt if she meant, my own memories of me eating off of the floor!

So I said to her "no, not really- I don't have any kids-- I just think this is all hysterical!"

The poor mother had 2 carts and only one was half full- I have no idea how she thought she was going to get 2 shopping carts full of groceries with the way those kids were acting!

I didn't see her the rest of my shopping trip. I don't know what happened.

I can't even imagine!!! All I was worried about was my cart was to heavy to push and I couldn't fit anything else in it!

 

[maddhatir]

I've noticed a few people over there that need to come over here. Maybe we should post a general invite? (hmmm, on second thought, that may attract the "wrong" people)

Blondeheroine, welcome to our club! We *are* a fun group!!! (just ignore what other people are saying about us (we do)!!!


Besides, we always welcome people who have Pirates in their avatar!!! Yo, ho!

Well! We already had Momneedsavacay- or whatever her name is over here!

Remember it was a while back- I told her I was going to report her

Everyone else over there doesn't seem so bad- but I guess you have to worry about the wackos who are lurking on that thread! Not the posters.

 

[TXTurtle]

I'm so thankful both my parents and DH2B's parents think that our decision to have or not have kids is just that - OUR decision. It doesn't hurt that mom has more that a few friends who are suddenly stuck raising their grandkids and passing the stories on to her. She's very happy not having that threat and, if she needs a small kid to spoil, borrows our second-cousin (I call him my nephew but it's not that direct of a relationship) and keeps him around until she remembers that she doesn't like small kids. And he's an easy child!

I lead the children's program at my small church and a number of parisoners, in an attempt at small talk, try to tease me about how soon I'll have my own kid in the program. So far I've managed to train my brain to interpret this to mean "we love you and think you'd make cute babies and are so inculturated in this culture of reproduction that we think that it's an appropriate topic of small talk" and so far it's worked. It's when it's from family or close friends that it's hard.

And yes, I've been following that aformentioned thread with popcorn in hand. Love how some people assume that just because you have not yet entered into the bliss that is childraising that you automatically hate all children and that you are singling out their precious ones for an extra amount of scorn. The only scary part is that there's no license for breeding - it's one thing to be immature and narrowminded, it's another thing to be raise a child in that environment!

 

[blondeheroine]

Well! We already had Momneedsavacay- or whatever her name is over here!

Remember it was a while back- I told her I was going to report her

Everyone else over there doesn't seem so bad- but I guess you have to worry about the wackos who are lurking on that thread! Not the posters.

My sincere question is: why would someone who is obviously so entrenched in "mom culture" want to come into this thread at all and start an argument? Seems pointless to me.

 

[Hixski]

My sincere question is: why would someone who is obviously so entrenched in "mom culture" want to come into this thread at all and start an argument? Seems pointless to me.

You would think so.....

We have had some of the "others" come here to tell us all kinds of things. Mostly that we are wrong and will regret our decision.

I think some of them are not so happy with their decision and want us to be in that club with them.

 

[Liisa]

You would think so.....

We have had some of the "others" come here to tell us all kinds of things. Mostly that we are wrong and will regret our decision.

I think some of them are not so happy with their decision and want us to be in that club with them.

Misery loves company!

Yup, Maddhatir, now that you mention it, I remember when momneeds vacay (and boy, does she ever!) popped up over here. Can't even imagine why she would read this thread?!!! Just odd.

 

[maddhatir]

Misery loves company!

Yup, Maddhatir, now that you mention it, I remember when momneeds vacay (and boy, does she ever!) popped up over here. Can't even imagine why she would read this thread?!!! Just odd.

You know what is REALLY weird- last year there was some kind of discussion on pro-choice or maybe it ended up turning into that ...I really do not want to start a discussion here about it- but I mentioned I was pro-choice. Well, this woman would NOT leave me alone! She kept telling me on the thread that she can "change my mind" I explained to her I am NOT an idiot- I do not need my mind changed- I understand fully what I believe in. I had to get off the htread b/c she was nuts!

WELL- she started PMing me!!!!! Telling me she is certain she can change my mind- I had to be a little rude to get her to stop stalking me!

I don't know WHY people insist on thinking they can change your mind about something that I have thought about long and hard- like I said, I am not a moron- I know what my choices are- I am sorry they are not YOUR choices!

 

[ChisJo]

You know what is REALLY weird- last year there was some kind of discussion on pro-choice or maybe it ended up turning into that ...I really do not want to start a discussion here about it- but I mentioned I was pro-choice. Well, this woman would NOT leave me alone! She kept telling me on the thread that she can "change my mind" I explained to her I am NOT an idiot- I do not need my mind changed- I understand fully what I believe in. I had to get off the htread b/c she was nuts!

WELL- she started PMing me!!!!! Telling me she is certain she can change my mind- I had to be a little rude to get her to stop stalking me!

I don't know WHY people insist on thinking they can change your mind about something that I have thought about long and hard- like I said, I am not a moron- I know what my choices are- I am sorry they are not YOUR choices!

This kind of behaviour really IRRITATES the living **** out of me....It's also the same reason I refuse to talk to people who are insistant that I will change my mind about having kids, I'll regret it when I'm old, I'll be a lonely old woman, no - my nieces won't be there when I'm older, and I'm missing out on the best years of my life - blah blah blah....

Those people are irrational and rude....I just walk away, or firmly tell them it's MY decision, and to leave me alone. I actually stopped talking to one person at work because he was so insistent that I have kids that he drove me crazy. I actually had to tell him to shut up and leave me alone. We haven't talked since....like he's standing his ground - ok, because that's gonna make me change my mind! One less annoying person I have to deal with at work!!

 

[Muushka]

I have never had a strange PM or one that made me feel uncomfortable, but that would creep me out and force me to shut it off! Oy!

 

[Hixski]

This kind of behaviour really IRRITATES the living **** out of me....It's also the same reason I refuse to talk to people who are insistant that I will change my mind about having kids, I'll regret it when I'm old, I'll be a lonely old woman, no - my nieces won't be there when I'm older, and I'm missing out on the best years of my life - blah blah blah....

Those people are irrational and rude....I just walk away, or firmly tell them it's MY decision, and to leave me alone. I actually stopped talking to one person at work because he was so insistent that I have kids that he drove me crazy. I actually had to tell him to shut up and leave me alone. We haven't talked since....like he's standing his ground - ok, because that's gonna make me change my mind! One less annoying person I have to deal with at work!!

At 47 I just tell them I AM older and no still haven't changed my mind. You look happy in your pictures. But you must not be. The "others" can see it is all a front. You hate all the childfree things you can do and are just dying to be a mommyto.... RIGHT.....thats why we are all posting on a childfree thread. DH had someone he worked with that we would see from time to time. We have been married 21 yrs and she just recently got a clue that NO I guess they are really not going to have kids.

 

[maddhatir]

Just over on the other thread- seems like someone is pulling out the stick!

See how long that lasts.

 

[ChisJo]

OMG!! I just got through the rest of the "other" thread, and I give props to Madhattir and Blondeheroine...you are my heroes!! Thanks for the laughs....