Marrieds choosing not to have kids

[maddhatir]

I know it's been a while since I've posted, but you caught my attention. I LOVE VIVALDI and Baroque style music! I don't know anyone my age(40 something) remotely interested, except DH! I would love to get some medieval banquet music, can you tell me the name of the CD? And we love going to the renaissance festival they have throughout summer at the Wisconsin/Illinois border. I just havn't gotten the nerve to get a wench costume yet........

Tammy- I just picked up a few from Borders- they are just called Elizabethan Songs and the other one is Music for a Medievel Banquet put out by Classical Express

I have anotehr CD called Nottingham Ale- Tavern Music from Colonial Williamsburg- from the Willliamsburg Marketplace catalog

 

[tink_about_it]

This is my judgement:
it is rude and inconsiderate to not remove the child to a corridor or restroom if it decides to cry or misbehave. Period. I wouldn't be allowed to let a barking dog remain in those places, and rightfully so, as it would be bothering others.

IT?

I'm not sure that it is fair to compare a child to a dog.

 

[maddhatir]

IT?

I'm not sure that it is fair to compare a child to a dog.

Awwwwwwww KAT!!!!! She beat me to it-- I KNEW this was going to be brought up-- comparing the dog and the kid!

I couldn't get to you fast enough!

 

[maddhatir]

IT?

I'm not sure that it is fair to compare a child to a dog.

and PS- you said IT instead of him or her, he, she, the boy, the girl.........

 

[HockeyKat]

Aww crap, you caught me. Too much bitterness I guess.

I do tend to use "it" in reference to people and animals to which I have no specific gender. I suppose it may offend some, but oh well, as I was told by a teen who wanted me to stand to let them pass during play in the middle of an NHL hockey game, "You'll be all right." (yup, bitter! )

But in all seriousness, you might not consider it fair to compare a child to a dog, but in my opinion, they have equal rights to be loud and unruly in a restaurant, play, etc. As well as a drunk, loud, or obnoxious adult, actually, who I also think should be removed. Obviously, my opinion is extremely unpopular!

 

[aclov]

I agree! I am more excited about animals than kids.

My best friend is like this, she actually enjoys animals more than people not just children. She says it's because animals don't talk back! She has a teenage son but he was unplanned but decided to raise him and be a mother, but she says if that wouldn't have happened she wouldn't have had children. She has 6 dogs and 6 cats and was a foster mom and volunteer for shelter dogs. She feels that's her calling - to be a voice for animals. I had a coworker who wasn't married and didn't have children and she was a foster care caseworker, that was her calling. I'm an animal lover myself and when I run into people who say cruel things about animals, it angers me. But than I think that their not an animal person and I TRY to respect that. People don't have the same passion as other people.

 

[aclov]

I totally respect a person's decision not to have kids not only that I totally understand the reasons behind it. I have one child and people sometimes ask me if I plan on having more.

I really applaud you. I wish there were more people like you that would just respect a person's decision. I've struggled with infertility for many years (hopefully - I can still post here! ) and the questions I get from people sometimes hurt. One of my good friends has three kids and is a SAHM, she swears it's the best thing in the world. I think maybe for her it is but it doesn't mean that's for everyone. She tends to be very narrow minded and one day we were talking about a girl we knew that was dating a mutual guy friend of ours. It turns out they broke up because she didn't want to have any children and he did, so I respect that at least she was honest in telling him this before that made a huge commitment. So my friend, the SAHM, is asking me why they broke up and I tell her. She say's, "What a selfish little B---ch!" I respond "why because she doesn't want to have any kids and I least she's honest about it". She pissed me off saying that! Like I said some people want their life to be cookie cutter for everyone. Up to this day, she still asks me when I'm going to have kids and after my infertility struggles, she's telling me to adopt. Um.....it's my life and my decisions. Honestly, I've had to distant myself from her because I just can't stand that her entire life revolves around her kids. I love her kids -no flames pleeze, but I can never have a conversation with her without her kids interfering.

 

[TKDisneylover]

OMG! I SWEAR, SWEAR, SWEAR! at first- I was thinking why would she post on here and then tell us she can't wait to have kids!!!

Oops, I guess I shouldn't have used the shortened midwest term, it was a "bratwurst" with sauerkraut I might add, and it sure was good!! Unfortunately the Brewers lost, but the 2 other child-free couples I was with, and DH & I had a great time!

And thanks for the info on the CD's! I wrote down the names and will stop and pick them up next weekend.

 

[maddhatir]

I love her kids -no flames pleeze

The CF should not have to utter that phrase on our own thread!!! Take it back!

I also have a friend EXACTLY as you described. Her life revolves around her kids. So much so that one of our friends was having a b-day. We were thinking about going out to dinner to celebrate.....she wanted to take her kids b/c she said they would love to celebrate with us! It was going to be an adult only dinner and she said the kids would be disappointed if they didn't go!

How about.......tell them it's adults only, get a babysitter and enjoy the night out...the end!!!?

CF OT But I have to also mention this about her----

She also started crying when I told her that I had no problem whatsover if someone was gay, they are born that way and if they are happy why should I care what they do-- she told me she would pray for me I told her to save her prayers, they won't work on me

 

[maddhatir]

Oops, I guess I shouldn't have used the shortened midwest term, it was a "bratwurst" with sauerkraut I might add, and it sure was good!! Unfortunately the Brewers lost, but the 2 other child-free couples I was with, and DH & I had a great time!

And thanks for the info on the CD's! I wrote down the names and will stop and pick them up next weekend.

Tammy- there are also some internet stations I listen to on my desktop/laptop-

Try this station- just do a search of "baroque" and not only that! They have Disney park music fr when you are feeling homesick for some Disney Magic! There are TONS of stations here Live 365

and another site I go to for some baroque- Otto's

 

[Liisa]

She also started crying when I told her that I had no problem whatsover if someone was gay, they are born that way and if they are happy why should I care what they do-- she told me she would pray for me I told her to save her prayers, they won't work on me

Pray for you? Because you are tolerant of other people? That's just odd!

Boy, you miss a day... you miss alot!!!

And just for the record... I like my dogs better than kids. Why else would I have dogs instead of kids?

 

[Liisa]

She tends to be very narrow minded and one day we were talking about a girl we knew that was dating a mutual guy friend of ours. It turns out they broke up because she didn't want to have any children and he did, so I respect that at least she was honest in telling him this before that made a huge commitment. So my friend, the SAHM, is asking me why they broke up and I tell her. She say's, "What a selfish little B---ch!" I respond "why because she doesn't want to have any kids and I least she's honest about it".

I agree with you. She would have been alot more selfish if she felt that way and didn't tell the poor guy until after they were married. Much more respectable to be honest up front.

And I am so sorry to hear that you weren't able to have kids. Whether I want them or not, it breaks my heart to know people that really want a child who aren't able to. I work with a woman who I think would make a wonderful mother and she and her husband have been trying for a number of years with no luck. Seems so unfair....

 

[TKDisneylover]

Tammy- there are also some internet stations I listen to on my desktop/laptop-

Try this station- just do a search of "baroque" and not only that! They have Disney park music fr when you are feeling homesick for some Disney Magic! There are TONS of stations here Live 365

and another site I go to for some baroque- Otto's

Thanks for the info on Otto's, I've never come across that site in my internet searches. However I do listen to Live365 everytime I'm on the DIS boards(which is a lot!). I'm so addicted to that station & the DIS! I also listen to it at work, thankfully I was able to get around our "entertainment block" so I can listen to it there whenever. And I love listening to Baroque when I first get into work before all the office hoopla begins! It helps get my day started off on a positive note.

Thanks again for the great info!

 

[zima-cheryl]

She say's, "What a selfish little B---ch!" I respond "why because she doesn't want to have any kids and I least she's honest about it".

I hope it is okay to jump in here, but I would like to add my 2 cents on this too. I got a call from a good friend of mine who got the "selfish" line the other day from family. She & her husband are fence sitting right now but leaning pretty far to the CF side of things. It really made me angry that her family was pushing like that. I got right on my soap box w/her (in a way you only can do w/a good friend).

Why is it we are "selfish" when we take the time to sit down, really look hard at who we are, where we are and make an informed & well thought out decision that we don't have the emotional, mental &/or physical ability &/or desire to have children and raise them properly? I would say that is pretty responsible.

I'll get down off my soap box now.

 

[aclov]

The CF should not have to utter that phrase on our own thread!!! Take it back!

I also have a friend EXACTLY as you described. Her life revolves around her kids. So much so that one of our friends was having a b-day. We were thinking about going out to dinner to celebrate.....she wanted to take her kids b/c she said they would love to celebrate with us! It was going to be an adult only dinner and she said the kids would be disappointed if they didn't go!

How about.......tell them it's adults only, get a babysitter and enjoy the night out...the end!!!?
QUOTE]

You know it kills me when people with children get offended if you say "it's adults only" Than they say they can't come because they don't have a sitter and expect you to say it's okay that they can bring the kids. Just like when at some weddings including my own was "adults only." Why would I want kids running around the dance floor. I think they feel that if you don't invite their kids than you don't want them. But it's adult-time! I also refuse to go out on a girl's dinner when my one friend who brings all or one of her 3 kids. They are brats! And I'm a patient person, but when her kids is throwing stuff or under the table, I can't take it. I want to relax and talk.

 

[Hixski]

You know it kills me when people with children get offended if you say "it's adults only" Than they say they can't come because they don't have a sitter and expect you to say it's okay that they can bring the kids. Just like when at some weddings including my own was "adults only." Why would I want kids running around the dance floor. I think they feel that if you don't invite their kids than you don't want them. But it's adult-time! I also refuse to go out on a girl's dinner when my one friend who brings all or one of her 3 kids. They are brats! And I'm a patient person, but when her kids is throwing stuff or under the table, I can't take it. I want to relax and talk.

These are the types of parents that want to bring their kids to adults only things but.........if they want a quiet night out without their kids they complain the loudest about OTHER unruly children. Crazy. So let me get this straight. You want to bring your children to anything and everything whether it is adults only or not. You also want to have a quiet night out sometime with your DH and not have it interrupted by crying, throwing, and running around children. How exactly does this work because I would really like that.

 

[maddhatir]

I also refuse to go out on a girl's dinner when my one friend who brings all or one of her 3 kids. They are brats! And I'm a patient person, but when her kids is throwing stuff or under the table, I can't take it. I want to relax and talk.

ooooh! Don't you love going out to a meal and the person's kid at the table is the "main attraction" and no one can have a conversation! Everytime you start to utter a word junior is doing something that needs to be addressed- and you have to stop mid-sentence and smile and pretend that it doesn't bug you! "noooo- go ahead you better get him off of the chandelier, we can talk later" * big smile*

 

[aclov]

My mom is now having the problem that her friend's bring their grandkids along. Her best friend invited her out to a bday dinner and she decides to bring her two grand-daughters. You can't have an adult conversation with kids around! My mom now dreads having her over or going out with her friend, whom she doesn't see that often because she drags the grand-daughters with her all the time. She has another friend that does this too.

 

[aclov]

The CF should not have to utter that phrase on our own thread!!! Take it back!QUOTE]

Oops....wrong board! I take it back! What was I thinking

 

[maddhatir]

A few days ago I posted some comments people had made about the theater I was going to see Pirates 3 in-- everyone love(d) this theater b/c they would play mostly Indie films and their policy about letting kids in was great- they didn't want them.

WELL! The theater sold to a "chain" company and their "no kids" policy is now gone. I was reading an article in a local mag about the "death"of the theater and OMG- some of the things the writer of the article says is hilariuos-- or should I say "right on the money"!

Full article if you are interested

The funniest quote I think is:
No, Billy Boy, it’s not. It’s your role to honor the refined tradition of the Ritz’s original intentions. Instead, you are letting down an entire (paying) population of theatre-goers who would rather eat their own eyeballs than sit through a film with cackling, rambunctious teens sitting behind them, munching on Sour-Patch Kids and Butterfingers like horses, all the while answering cell phone calls that ring whenever an important plot point is about to unfold