Marrieds choosing not to have kids

[Liisa]

On a MUCH MUCH more fun topic.... Maddhatir, did you get to see POTC yet? I'm hoping to get to the theater this weekend. I thought you might have been there opening night....

 

[maddhatir]

On a MUCH MUCH more fun topic.... Maddhatir, did you get to see POTC yet? I'm hoping to get to the theater this weekend. I thought you might have been there opening night....

Not yet!!!! DH didn't want to go last night- and tonight we are meeting a bunch of friends for drinks- so I already ordered my tix for tomorrow!!!

I will pass this on as a tid bit of info for those going- BE SURE you stay and watch the clip AFTER all of the credits! I hear it is informative. Way better than the ones after 1 and 2!

 

[maddhatir]

OMG- Time out- I was just responding to a post here and all of a sudden I hear a "commotion" out front on our street and kids laughing!

What do I see?- 3 teenage boys on bikes- kicking the neighbors trash cans as they go by- well, the boys can't see me on my porch and I am watching them approach my house- I hear the one boy say- "do that one" (mine) I stand up and yell (as he is doing it)

"DON'T EVEN TRY IT A##H*%#!!!!"

They just looked and took off-- little freaks!

 

[maddhatir]

OK- back to my response......

I hope that they find her (I imagine that with the video they will be able to identify the culprit and his mother) and hold her accountable - wouldn't that be considered vandalism or destruction of property. What a little monster she is raising!!!

My aunt works as a teachers aid at an elementary school. Apparently, the school bully (I imagine there is more than one, but this story is only about one of them) had been picking on a very well behaved, soft spoken 6th grader. After an entire school year of this, the well behaved boy took a pellet gun to the school after hours and nailed the bully with it. The police and school officials are now questioning the other 6th graders to determine all the details of this incident. One of the parents (of a 6th grader not directly involved but who would be questioned) contacted the school principal to say that their child would not be questioned without a lawyer present!!! And then we wonder why kids have no respect for authority! And I know from stories that my co-workers have told me, schools are not well equipped to deal with "bullies" because the parents all step up and fight that their little "angel" can't possibly be the cause of trouble. If the parents aren't going to back the school officials, how on earth can the schools be expected to maintain order? After a year of being picked on and the school not intervening, I can understand why that poor kid flipped out (I'm not condoning, just saying that I understand...)

And then people ask why I don't want kids! Even if I raise junior to be a respectful, wonderful child, I can't control the environment.

I my dogs!!! No thumbs - no ability to shoot pellet guns!

O-M-G-- an attorney??! Give me a BREAK! I think the parents of that child should be arrested just for being annoying!

 

[LauraAnn630]

I can see making a choice not to have children. Thats fine. Some of the other coments are very disturbing.

I wonder how some of the adults here were raised. It must account for some of the feelings they are having.

 

[LoveStitch626]

I can see making a choice not to have children. Thats fine. Some of the other coments are very disturbing.

I wonder how some of the adults here were raised. It must account for some of the feelings they are having.

You're kidding me right? (I seem to say this a lot here lol)

My parents raised me very strictly and to respect people/their property. Had that kid in the sand been me.. well.. I wouldn't have even considered playing in it. Had I managed.. I would've been in so much trouble. I can't stand parents who DONT discipline their kids, expect everyone to put up with their little dahlins antics with a smile, and don't teach their kids a lick of character. Mom running off when little dahlin played in the sand... no character and that tells the little you know what it's ok to do that. Standing up and saying "my son did this and I'm so sorry" would've taught the little heathen to admit when you've done something bad even if you DO get into trouble over it.

**back to star wars**

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

I hope that they find her (I imagine that with the video they will be able to identify the culprit and his mother) and hold her accountable - wouldn't that be considered vandalism or destruction of property. What a little monster she is raising!!!

My aunt works as a teachers aid at an elementary school. Apparently, the school bully (I imagine there is more than one, but this story is only about one of them) had been picking on a very well behaved, soft spoken 6th grader. After an entire school year of this, the well behaved boy took a pellet gun to the school after hours and nailed the bully with it. The police and school officials are now questioning the other 6th graders to determine all the details of this incident. One of the parents (of a 6th grader not directly involved but who would be questioned) contacted the school principal to say that their child would not be questioned without a lawyer present!!! And then we wonder why kids have no respect for authority! And I know from stories that my co-workers have told me, schools are not well equipped to deal with "bullies" because the parents all step up and fight that their little "angel" can't possibly be the cause of trouble. If the parents aren't going to back the school officials, how on earth can the schools be expected to maintain order? After a year of being picked on and the school not intervening, I can understand why that poor kid flipped out (I'm not condoning, just saying that I understand...)

And then people ask why I don't want kids! Even if I raise junior to be a respectful, wonderful child, I can't control the environment.

I my dogs!!! No thumbs - no ability to shoot pellet guns!

Oh yes. I am a teacher and if I had a dollar for every time I heard a kid brag about cursing out a teacher/administrator/vice principal/principal OR brag about *THEIR PARENT* cursing out a teacher/administrator/vice principal/principal, I would be staying at the Poly for a week. They giggle and brag and think they "won". I hear all the time "I can talk to you any way I want."

I am a fence sitter on having kids. I am so scared that I could do a great job, but because other parents stink at their job, my kid could still be a disaster. The "cool" parents could offer them drinks, drugs, or bad advice. It is sad, but the parents who love and care are sometimes looked down upon for being "too strict". When I hear kids complaining that their parents are too strict because they require them to get above an 80 in all classes or to be home before 10 or whatever, I tell them that they are LUCKY.

I love the little ones, but once they are screwed up by their parents, it's like looking at pieces of broken glass - what could have been useful can now only be hurtful. I really love teaching. I am just as much a counselor as I am a teacher, which is draining, but it really shows me how much attention kids *aren't* getting at home.

I have a wonderful student with a terminal illness whose mother is horrible to him - yells at him to get out of bed, curses at him, leaves him alone for the weekend. It is a wonder he is so nice and sweet. This kid who has truly suffered, is somehow nicer than some of the spoiled kids. It amazes me.

The worst part about the screwed up kids, the ones that at 12, parents are allowing to drink or smoke pot or go around unsupervised, are the ones that are considered "cool". Well the "coolest" girl in my high school class was recently spotted in the Walgreens, wearing a man's undershirt, dirty short shorts, smelling of cigarettes (as she did in HS) pregnant with a baby on one hip and a five year old behind her, arguing about medicaid paying for prescriptions. I walked by in my pants, heels and sweater set to pick up my prescription completely unrecognized.

 

[kennancat]

Hello all!

Just wanted to pop back in and say hi - I ended up away from the boards for a couple of weeks in March due to getting ready for vacation, work, etc. and realized that life seemed so much brighter when I wasn't spending time on the CB! Still, I didn't want to completely abandon this thread (wouldn't want anybody thinking I'm picking out strollers), so I've been lurking for a little while. I see we've gotten some new seagulls - fun, fun.

DH found this link on digg today, and I just had to post it for you all. It's from a Fox News piece with two women debating about that new birth control pill that's coming out. Make sure you are sitting down though - the anti-pill woman is a certified whack job! http://thinkprogress.org/2007/05/24/birth-control-unruh/

 

[Liisa]

Unbelievable... that woman is completely missing the boat!!! Women who "cherish their fertility and rejoice in the ability to have children" wouldn't be on a birth control pill. Boy is she fighting the wrong battle! I guess there would be no point in explaining to that woman that if every person living in the US would have kids willy nilly - the economic effect would be catastrophic!

In some ways, us "child frees" balance out the mix, help keep things in check so to speak. I feel like Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men... "they want us on that ledge, they NEED us on that ledge"....

 

[maddhatir]

I can see making a choice not to have children. Thats fine. Some of the other coments are very disturbing.

I wonder how some of the adults here were raised. It must account for some of the feelings they are having.

I am going to EXPLAIN to you WHY I personally feel the way I do and make these comments! Sure it has something to do with how I was raised! I was raised to have RESPECT! And both of my parents are respectful of others.

And when any of us here see something that is totally mind-boggling we comment on it! Whether it be a comment about a child behaving badly- or an "oblivious" parent, or the "nazi" parent- (who, by the way, usually are the ones raising the children we comment on!) We like to discuss it--

I am sorry, but what we are saying is not disturbing-- it is the truth! And not only that- our comments are usually what most people are saying under their breath in public!

Just a dose of reality for you! Although it seems some may not want to hear it

 

[Hixski]

I am going to EXPLAIN to you WHY I personally feel the way I do and make these comments! Sure it has something to do with how I was raised! I was raised to have RESPECT! And both of my parents are respectful of others.

And when any of us here see something that is totally mind-boggling we comment on it! Whether it be a comment about a child behaving badly- or an "oblivious" parent, ot the "nazi" parent- (who, by the way, usually are the ones raising the children we comment on!) We like to discuss it--

I am sorry, but what we are saying is not disturbing-- it is the truth! And not only that- our comments are usually what most people are saying under their breath in public!

Just a dose of reality for you! Although it seems some may not want to hear it

Well said!!! If it is disturbing to be tired of parents that don't parent, so be it. We are all not normal according to some of society anyway. Personally I like marching to the beat of my own drummer.

 

[maddhatir]

I was just checking for the phone# of the theater I am seeing Piartes 3 in tonight and I came across these reviews of the theater- mind you, I choose this theater b/c there are not a lot of kids usually.......


This is hands down the best Cinema in ***** and better than any Cinema in Philadelphia. Everyone knows it is an adult-preferred cinema and not to bring your kids as they won’t be let in unaccompanied (don’t have birthday parties here – you will ruin it for everyone else!). It is a haven from the hooligan teenagers that often ruin a great movie experience. Customer Service is impeccable, it is clean, there is a hot beverage bar including coffee, tea, hot chocolate, sandwiches and pastries. Skip the mall, leave the kids at home and have a nice evening out. There are also some good restaurants nearby. Obviously the family above had not done their research and have since affected the overall rating for this cinema. It’s a 10!

Pros: NO KIDS, Clean, Friendly
Cons: none

##############

Love the coffe bar and fresh popcorn. Love that no kids are allowed and crowd noise not tolerated! Hard to find independant movies are great to enjoy here. Only stadium seating and THX sound could improve this place, but I can live without both.

Pros: No kids, Great Concession, Good value

##############


AND OMG- READ HOW THEY TREAT YOU WHEN YOU HAVE KIDS WITH YOU!

On the occasion of my daughter's 14th birthday, 11 of her girl friends were invited to see "Lake House" at the ****. When my wife purchased tickets for 12 girls, the ticket agent told her that the children must be accompanied by an adult, so my wife purchased an additional ticket for herself. After we gave our tickets to the ticket-taker, the manager told my wife that two more adults must accompany the group. He said there must be one adult for every 5 children. No such rule is posted on the Ritz Sixteen web site or in the theater lobby. When my wife explained that this rule was not explained when she purchased the 12 tickets, the manager said: "She doesn't know anything; I'm the manager". My wife tried to reason with him because their tickets had already been taken and the movie was about to begin, but the manager insisted that they would not be permitted to see the movie without two more adults. By this time, my daughter's birthday party was on the verge of being ruined so my wife called me and another parent and said that we must come right away to satlisfy the rule of one parent for every 5 children. My wife sat in the back of the theater to save a seat for me, but before I arrived, the manager went into the theater and told her that she must sit in front with the children, not in the back. The 12 children were all 14-years-old and perfectly well-behaved. By this time, it was apparent that the issue went beyond enforcement of the rule to simple harassment. When I finally arrived 15 minutes later, the theater was full and I had to stand in the back, which I did. Any reasonable theater manager would have admitted that it wasn't our fault that we didn't know the rule and would simply have told us to follow the rule in the future. But this manager was obviously enjoying his power to enforce the rule regardless of the consequences. At no time did he apologize for what happened to us.


Hmmmmm- lots of people like US out there!

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

I was just checking for the phone# of the theater I am seeing Piartes 3 in tonight and I came across these reviews of the theater- mind you, I choose this theater b/c there are not a lot of kids usually.......


This is hands down the best Cinema in ***** and better than any Cinema in Philadelphia. Everyone knows it is an adult-preferred cinema and not to bring your kids as they won’t be let in unaccompanied (don’t have birthday parties here – you will ruin it for everyone else!). It is a haven from the hooligan teenagers that often ruin a great movie experience. Customer Service is impeccable, it is clean, there is a hot beverage bar including coffee, tea, hot chocolate, sandwiches and pastries. Skip the mall, leave the kids at home and have a nice evening out. There are also some good restaurants nearby. Obviously the family above had not done their research and have since affected the overall rating for this cinema. It’s a 10!

Pros: NO KIDS, Clean, Friendly
Cons: none

##############

Love the coffe bar and fresh popcorn. Love that no kids are allowed and crowd noise not tolerated! Hard to find independant movies are great to enjoy here. Only stadium seating and THX sound could improve this place, but I can live without both.

Pros: No kids, Great Concession, Good value

##############


AND OMG- READ HOW THEY TREAT YOU WHEN YOU HAVE KIDS WITH YOU!

On the occasion of my daughter's 14th birthday, 11 of her girl friends were invited to see "Lake House" at the ****. When my wife purchased tickets for 12 girls, the ticket agent told her that the children must be accompanied by an adult, so my wife purchased an additional ticket for herself. After we gave our tickets to the ticket-taker, the manager told my wife that two more adults must accompany the group. He said there must be one adult for every 5 children. No such rule is posted on the Ritz Sixteen web site or in the theater lobby. When my wife explained that this rule was not explained when she purchased the 12 tickets, the manager said: "She doesn't know anything; I'm the manager". My wife tried to reason with him because their tickets had already been taken and the movie was about to begin, but the manager insisted that they would not be permitted to see the movie without two more adults. By this time, my daughter's birthday party was on the verge of being ruined so my wife called me and another parent and said that we must come right away to satlisfy the rule of one parent for every 5 children. My wife sat in the back of the theater to save a seat for me, but before I arrived, the manager went into the theater and told her that she must sit in front with the children, not in the back. The 12 children were all 14-years-old and perfectly well-behaved. By this time, it was apparent that the issue went beyond enforcement of the rule to simple harassment. When I finally arrived 15 minutes later, the theater was full and I had to stand in the back, which I did. Any reasonable theater manager would have admitted that it wasn't our fault that we didn't know the rule and would simply have told us to follow the rule in the future. But this manager was obviously enjoying his power to enforce the rule regardless of the consequences. At no time did he apologize for what happened to us.


Hmmmmm- lots of people like US out there!

Okay, I *love* that this reviewer views having to sit with the children you are supervising "harassment".

 

[Liisa]

I would LOVE a theater like that by me. Teenagers are the worst at the movies (I don't think this is a reflection on kids today either - I think teenagers in groups at a movie have always been inconsiderate... I'm pretty sure I talked during movies when I was a teen... and I was raised to know better!)

 

[Liisa]

For the people out there who read this thread and find it harsh... I would love for you to do a general search on the internet for child free websites that have discussion forums. I enjoy posting here because I believe that it is very mild mannered and the complaints are legitimate without much venom. I was a non-contributing member to an official child free discussion board that was horrible (and to which I am no longer a member)... The insulting terms that they used for mothers and their offspring were completely uncalled for. Those child free people didn't just not want children, they were unbelievably bitter in their viewpoint of pregnant women, mothers and children. This board has been very specific in its dislike of DISREPECTFUL children and parents and ill-behaved children. Show us a good, well-mannered, kind child and we will applaud the parents that raised him or her.

Please - go read the "real" child free websites out there, and then criticize this group. At least then you will have a point of reference.

Now... I must start planning my December to trip to WDW - DH and I are taking our 5 yr old nephew and I can't wait to share Disney with him (hmmm... that doesn't sound like the voice of a child hater....)

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

For the people out there who read this thread and find it harsh... I would love for you to do a general search on the internet for child free websites that have discussion forums. I enjoy posting here because I believe that it is very mild mannered and the complaints are legitimate without much venom. I was a non-contributing member to an official child free discussion board that was horrible (and to which I am no longer a member)... The insulting terms that they used for mothers and their offspring were completely uncalled for. Those child free people didn't just not want children, they were unbelievably bitter in their viewpoint of pregnant women, mothers and children. This board has been very specific in its dislike of DISREPECTFUL children and parents and ill-behaved children. Show us a good, well-mannered, kind child and we will applaud the parents that raised him or her.

Please - go read the "real" child free websites out there, and then criticize this group. At least then you will have a point of reference.

Now... I must start planning my December to trip to WDW - DH and I are taking our 5 yr old nephew and I can't wait to share Disney with him (hmmm... that doesn't sound like the voice of a child hater....)

Yes, I read one that just made me sick - people were talking about getting brochures for child size coffins and distributing them to children that were badly behaved. I've never heard anyone on this thread even come close to the attitudes that are expressed on other boards. I don't think everyone's meant to have kids - some can be awesome aunts and uncles, but I don't know how anyone could really, genuinely hate kids. I like posting here because no one here is like that.

 

[Hixski]

Isn't it interesting that people swoop in and make their comments but never come back to check what has been said. Are they afraid to debate that parents should parent and alot of kids are out of control today?

Changing the subject, we have a great childfree weekend going on.

Tonight: Grilling steaks and such with a couple nice bottles of wine.
Sunday: Playing golf and then having a few drinks with our golf foursome.
Monday: St. Louis is playing host to Rib America. This is a 4 day event with alot of rib chefs, music and such. Bands include Pat Benatar, Dennis DeYoung from Stix, Molly Hatchet, Blue Oyster Cult and more. Great 70's,80's music. I guess we will eat ribs, drink some beer and listen to music. Better yet it is free admission if you get there before 3PM. I guess I better put this guy in as we are sounding like a couple of boozers.

Everyone have a nice Memorial Day weekend!!!!!

 

[Liisa]

Hixski,

Your weekend sounds great! DH and I are catching up on yardwork. We spent the whole day at garden centers and my better half is out there planting stuff right now. I'm supposed to be doing housework and helping him place the plants. I am definitely NOT supposed to be on the DIS boards...Shhh don't tell!

Have a few drinks for me!

 

[writersblock42]

I totally respect a person's decision not to have kids not only that I totally understand the reasons behind it. I have one child and people sometimes ask me if I plan on having more. Yes, I would like to have one more....but that just isn't working and I am ok with that but what I am not ok with is discussing my fertility with every person who thinks it's their business to ask me why don't we have more children. I also respect a person's choice to attend childfree events.
On the other hand, if a person does go to a child friendly place, I think that they should expect crying, kids running around, squealing, shouting and loud talking. I also have heard the quote, "I was a really great parent until I had kids." Neither of my sisters have kids and love to judge some of my childrearing practices. I can't wait until they have kids (if they do-one is older and one is younger) so I can sit back and watch how they handle the first temper tantrum. So enjoy your childfree events, be annoyed when a person brings a crying baby into a movie theater, graduation, a play...whatever it may be, but judge lightly.

 

[maddhatir]

For the people out there who read this thread and find it harsh... I would love for you to do a general search on the internet for child free websites that have discussion forums. I enjoy posting here because I believe that it is very mild mannered and the complaints are legitimate without much venom. I was a non-contributing member to an official child free discussion board that was horrible (and to which I am no longer a member)... The insulting terms that they used for mothers and their offspring were completely uncalled for. Those child free people didn't just not want children, they were unbelievably bitter in their viewpoint of pregnant women, mothers and children. This board has been very specific in its dislike of DISREPECTFUL children and parents and ill-behaved children. Show us a good, well-mannered, kind child and we will applaud the parents that raised him or her.

Please - go read the "real" child free websites out there, and then criticize this group. At least then you will have a point of reference.

Now... I must start planning my December to trip to WDW - DH and I are taking our 5 yr old nephew and I can't wait to share Disney with him (hmmm... that doesn't sound like the voice of a child hater....)

That would be a great disclaimer for page one of this thread!