Marrieds choosing not to have kids

[maddhatir]

I was just listening to Robin doing the news on the Howard Stern show and she was talking about a book that is out- that many of US wish parents nowadays would read! It is called NO! Why Kids--of All Ages--Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It

How great is that!?-- See its not just us that think this is true!

http://www.simonsays.com/content/book.cfm?tab=1&pid=523914

Maybe we can buy some and hand them out as we see fit along our travels!

 

[plgrn]

"Of all ages" is the key there. Some parents don't tell enough discipline to tell themselves "no" much less their children.

 

[maddhatir]

and I think the next book coming out has the opposing view- called:

AW- CUT THEM SOME SLACK.

 

[plgrn]

I'm just a little frustrated today...

ALL of our friends and family members either have children, are pregnant, or both.

Normally, I'm fine with this. I respect their choice and realize that as a child free(less) fencesitter I am in the minority. All our friend's children are also well-behaved or we wouldn't be friends with them to start with

However....

Lately our friends haven't been able to make plans because they have to take Jr. to karate/basketball/piano/4-H/horse club/and any other thing you can think of.

We were supposed to have dinner with a couple tonight and their 3 kids and they cancelled b/c the kiddies are all sick!

There isn't a No Kidding chapter in our area, and I'm not sure we would qualify to start one as fencesitters. Any ideas for meeting younger child-free couples? We are 24 and 26 and it seems like everyone our age range is either single or breeding! Help!

 

[maddhatir]

I'm just a little frustrated today...

ALL of our friends and family members either have children, are pregnant, or both.

Normally, I'm fine with this. I respect their choice and realize that as a child free(less) fencesitter I am in the minority. All our friend's children are also well-behaved or we wouldn't be friends with them to start with

However....

Lately our friends haven't been able to make plans because they have to take Jr. to karate/basketball/piano/4-H/horse club/and any other thing you can think of.

We were supposed to have dinner with a couple tonight and their 3 kids and they cancelled b/c the kiddies are all sick!

There isn't a No Kidding chapter in our area, and I'm not sure we would qualify to start one as fencesitters. Any ideas for meeting younger child-free couples? We are 24 and 26 and it seems like everyone our age range is either single or breeding! Help!

Sorry cant help you there- DH would just do things on our own and we always had fun. It doesnt seem like there are too many people out there who are not breeders, I still dont get the fascination

DH and I are lucky now b/c we are 40- some of our friends are older now, their kids are getting older and they can watch themselves!

 

[maddhatir]

But am I the only -non-breeder- who watches Nanny 911 for the comedy aspect of the show and yells SUCKER at the TV!!?

 

[Hixski]

But am I the only -non-breeder- who watches Nanny 911 for the comedy aspect of the show and yells SUCKER at the TV!!?

I don't watch that show but I could see where you are coming from. DH and I were at the bar at a restaurant the other night. In walks 2 different couples with 4 children apiece about 10 minutes apart. DH and I looked at each other like "Are they nuts" Both groups had 4 children under the age of 5. One mother was pregnant again. It only took about 5 minutes before you could hear screaming from the restaurant. The bartender just shook his head at us. We told him that is why we always eat at the bar.

 

[JCandKT]

I'm just a little frustrated today...

ALL of our friends and family members either have children, are pregnant, or both.

Normally, I'm fine with this. I respect their choice and realize that as a child free(less) fencesitter I am in the minority. All our friend's children are also well-behaved or we wouldn't be friends with them to start with

However....

Lately our friends haven't been able to make plans because they have to take Jr. to karate/basketball/piano/4-H/horse club/and any other thing you can think of.

We were supposed to have dinner with a couple tonight and their 3 kids and they cancelled b/c the kiddies are all sick!

There isn't a No Kidding chapter in our area, and I'm not sure we would qualify to start one as fencesitters. Any ideas for meeting younger child-free couples? We are 24 and 26 and it seems like everyone our age range is either single or breeding! Help!

We are running into that a lot too lately! All of our friends, over the past few years, have all had children and now we never see them anymore. I don't know what to do, how to make new friends, and how to deal with the feelings I have!

I love all of the kids, but sometimes, when you have to make plans months in advance just so they can get a sitter, etc, and then they cancel, it sucks.

 

[aclov]

We are running into that a lot too lately! All of our friends, over the past few years, have all had children and now we never see them anymore. I don't know what to do, how to make new friends, and how to deal with the feelings I have!

I love all of the kids, but sometimes, when you have to make plans months in advance just so they can get a sitter, etc, and then they cancel, it sucks.

I'm lucky that my best friend and her hubby don't have any kids. Gosh, I would have no one to go out with! All of my other friends have kids so I hardly see them.

 

[aclov]

But am I the only -non-breeder- who watches Nanny 911 for the comedy aspect of the show and yells SUCKER at the TV!!?

OMG - I catch that show sometimes and some of those kids are wild I think it was last weeks that one of the kids was hitting his brother hard and saying "he deserves it" while the mother wasn't doing anything about it Who is the child and who is the parent??? When I was young and acted up my mom would say that to me.

That show is comical, sometimes I wonder how she keeps her sanity

 

[drag n' fly]

I'm just a little frustrated today...

ALL of our friends and family members either have children, are pregnant, or both.

Normally, I'm fine with this. I respect their choice and realize that as a child free(less) fencesitter I am in the minority. All our friend's children are also well-behaved or we wouldn't be friends with them to start with

However....

Lately our friends haven't been able to make plans because they have to take Jr. to karate/basketball/piano/4-H/horse club/and any other thing you can think of.

We were supposed to have dinner with a couple tonight and their 3 kids and they cancelled b/c the kiddies are all sick!

There isn't a No Kidding chapter in our area, and I'm not sure we would qualify to start one as fencesitters. Any ideas for meeting younger child-free couples? We are 24 and 26 and it seems like everyone our age range is either single or breeding! Help!

Welcome to reality! Time to make some new non-breeding friends . Try volunteering any extra time you have with organizations that need your help. You may meet some new non breeding friends and maybe have a new appreciation for the ones that continue to breed

 

[JCandKT]

I'm lucky that my best friend and her hubby don't have any kids. Gosh, I would have no one to go out with! All of my other friends have kids so I hardly see them.

Yeah, we had several "couples" that are good friends and we all didn't have children... and now, we're the last couple that is childless. I am only 27 so there is plenty of time to decide, but in the interim, it's difficult. It's hard to find friends (let alone TIME to find them with work and school). We have one couple that are older than us that chose not to have children, so we see them a lot, but it's hard to relate with them sometimes since they are our parents age.

I've been thinking a lot today about the subject and wonder if I'll ever want to become a mommy. I like my independence, and I am entirely too selfish at this stage of life.

It sounds like I'm trying to convince myself!

 

[plgrn]

I love all of the kids, but sometimes, when you have to make plans months in advance just so they can get a sitter, etc, and then they cancel, it sucks.

At least they will consider GETTING a sitter. Our friends bring their kids everywhere. I'm thinking of inviting them on "double dates" and if they refuse, at least they will be getting the picture that we are interested in doing things WITHOUT their kiddos.

 

[plgrn]

Sorry cant help you there- DH would just do things on our own and we always had fun.

That's what DH had rather do anyway. Maybe he has a point!

 

[kennancat]

At least they will consider GETTING a sitter. Our friends bring their kids everywhere.

Do you have any idea why they won't use a sitter? Is it a matter of not knowing where to find somebody good (in which case maybe you could ask around your office or neighborhood to help them), or are they the "I would never leave my children" types? We're working on setting up a child-proof room in our house so that our friends can come over to visit and the kids will have a safe place to play. Don't know if something like that might work for you too. Our house is all travertine floors and lots of glass pieces - neither good for little heads or little hands!

 

[maddhatir]

Do you have any idea why they won't use a sitter? Is it a matter of not knowing where to find somebody good (in which case maybe you could ask around your office or neighborhood to help them), or are they the "I would never leave my children" types? We're working on setting up a child-proof room in our house so that our friends can come over to visit and the kids will have a safe place to play. Don't know if something like that might work for you too. Our house is all travertine floors and lots of glass pieces - neither good for little heads or little hands!

Wow- are your friends chipping in with some cash for you guys to re-do your room!?

My house is soooooo kid un-friendly- when we have family get togethers- my MIL yells at me all the time-- I have a wire in my kitchen for the antenna to my satellite radio-- hey- I have to move the antenna all the time to get reception- she asked what its for......ummm...ITS FOR ME- TO MAKE ME HAPPY WHEN I LISTEN TO MY MUSIC!!!!!! leave it there!

We have a chess set just as a display in our living room with tiny pieces, in reach of all the kiddies- oooops!

The stairs to our finished basement are in our kitchen and we dont have a door --- everytime the kids come over we have to put something in front of the steps....ooops!

My poor little niece-- I have tons of braided rugs around my house- DH and I are fine with them (not slipping on them- I dont put the pad under them) she runs into the house, slides on the rug and ends up under the settee.......that is next to the chess set!!! she was fine! oooops!

I dont want the kids to get hurt- but everything looks fine through MY eyes- DH and I dont think much about safety!

ACTUALLY! That made me think about what I say to DH all of the time b/c he is so, um, what should I say-- NOT into safety, some of the things I catch him doing.....I just have to turn away! If I hear him scream I will quickly dial 911

I tell DH that I am getting him a T-shirt made saying:
SAFETY IS NOT AN ISSUE!

 

[ForTheLoveofDisney]

I'm just a little frustrated today...

ALL of our friends and family members either have children, are pregnant, or both.

Normally, I'm fine with this. I respect their choice and realize that as a child free(less) fencesitter I am in the minority. All our friend's children are also well-behaved or we wouldn't be friends with them to start with

However....

Lately our friends haven't been able to make plans because they have to take Jr. to karate/basketball/piano/4-H/horse club/and any other thing you can think of.

We were supposed to have dinner with a couple tonight and their 3 kids and they cancelled b/c the kiddies are all sick!

There isn't a No Kidding chapter in our area, and I'm not sure we would qualify to start one as fencesitters. Any ideas for meeting younger child-free couples? We are 24 and 26 and it seems like everyone our age range is either single or breeding! Help!

Sorry, can't help you but I know exactly what you are talking about!! I would love to start a No Kidding group but I haven't taken the time to really look into it. Of course, my biggest fear would be that we'd be the only members as the Majority of people ARE breeders!

 

[kennancat]

Wow- are your friends chipping in with some cash for you guys to re-do your room!?

Well, it's also going to be the "back-up" guest bedroom, so that's how I've justified it to myself Plus, we haven't put much money into it - the whole point was really to have an empty carpeted room. I think the only thing I've bought for it was a ceiling fan with light kit so I could move the halogen lamp to another room (where I need more lighting anyway). The TV, VCR, and TV stand were all ones that we already had in other parts of the house, and I was doing some reorganizing anyway. I might get some outlet covers, but those are cheap. Although there's another great part of being CF - I have empty rooms that I can move about at will! We have a 5BR/4BA, and we have gotten comments about why we need that much space when we don't have kids. Why don't these people get that I need a separate computer room, exercise room, and a project room?

 

[maddhatir]

the whole point was really to have an empty carpeted room.

just add some padding to the walls and put the kids in there!

 

[bdtracey]

Why don't these people get that I need a separate computer room, exercise room, and a project room?

AGREED!