Marrieds choosing not to have kids

[mking624]

Well said. And now again can we get back to hearing from more child free DISers. By choice or not.

I also decided to add my 9 year old to my siggie.

Hmmm, maybe I should add my 1 and 2 year old sons....does it matter that they have fur all over them? Sheesh, people keep calling them "guinea pigs"...but they're our babies.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

Can we just stop this right here? This is totally off topic! my4kids, maybe you did have something important to say, but it was many posts ago. Just let it go. You are starting a debate, when the people here are LOOKING FOR SUPPORT on their decision to be child-free. This is not about your quest to get pregnant vs. your SIL's quest to get prgnant. My sister and my cousin did that, and it is tiring. This is about being child -free by choice, and looking for support, when we run up against people who oppose this decision.!!!!!!

I totally agree with this.

Here's my first bit of supportive advice today: The "Ignore this poster" feature becomes very useful when certain posters hijack a thread.

Here's my second: Krissy, have a fabulous time at the Food and Wine Festival! DBF and I are going in November.

 

[PhotobearSam]

Well said Krissalee...

It looks like we will be at WDW around the same time if DH's knee replacement heals well (it does not look good as he has had complications).

Hope all is well with you both. Maybe we can meet again.

 

[bumpkin]

I have been reading this thread for awhile. I dont usually post much but love the DIS. This is a topic that I deal with in my life everyday. I dont choose to have kids. I dont hate them and I wouldnt try to talk anyone out of having them. Its such a personal choice. I dont think Im a selfish person for not having them. I devote alot of time to my husband and other family members. I sit on the board for the Partners for Animal Welfare Society in my county. Like an earlier poster, I have more sympathy and natural care for animals. I put my love in other places thats all. We have a huge pet overpopulation problem here and I work to help that situation. I get the negative comments about not having kids and having so many animals. I have several reasons for not having kids, some personal, but really I just dont want my life to change. If that is selfish then I guess I am. I figure the only person that has to approve is my husband. Why would someone try to convince me that I should? They do not know the way I feel when Im around kids. (Usually want to leave the room). And they do not know that I have worked for 2 years to lose 100lbs. (Cant imagine having to do the weight struggle again after a baby) and they do not know that Im VERY happy with the way my life is. Some may laugh at this statement but to me my dogs happiness is more important than having a child. Someday if this changes I will know. People should not pry...judge..or assume Im selfish. This is America and my husband and alot of other guys fought to give me freedom of choice on alot of issues. Lets respect all those who choose different than we do... Thanks for letting me vent..Ill go back to lurking now.

Great thread..alot of really goods points have been made here.

45 Days till Disney-Port Orleans Riverside!

 

[plgrn]

well said, bumpkin, and welcome!

 

[ForTheLoveofDisney]

I am lucky in that my DH would go anywhere I want to go. He is one of those people that does not care where he goes as long as he goes. If I say vacation, he does not say where, he says when.....

Still waiting for comments from the "You should have children at all costs group". NO.......great, maybe a breakthrough for those folks.

Oh, you are so lucky!!! I am so one of those people that does not care where I go as long as I can go. I've done everything I know how to bring DH over to my "darkside" of being spontaneous but alas it's all been in vain. I've sent mushy cards with long notes detailing memories of our last trip trying to get him to fall madly into the "let's go back right now!" mindset, I've talked up the trips, left little computer printouts. We have a great time when we go (anywhere) but he's so darn practical!
Me on the otherhand, I'm a spontaneous free bird!

 

[Disney Dee]

I am stepping in here to remind everyone to please respect your fellow diser's, thanks, and happy dising.

 

[Debi]

Hi everyone!

Just a reminder that while it's okay to have a dissenting opinion, please do not attack other posters because their opinion differs from yours. The DIS does not allow personal attacks; any post that does personally attack another poster will be deleted.

Thank you!

 

[snusnu]

Deleting as I don't want the thread re-hijacked.

DH and I are celebrating our fifth anniversary today. After deep soul-searching and long conversations, we finally and utterly decided on no kids. It had been a teeny, tiny question for a while, and we just wanted to explore all avenues. Avenues have been explored and they're all dead ends. We just got our third parrot, and they are our beloved babes.

 

[snusnu]

Not by a long shot, sister! And our numbers are growing every day.

DH and I married almost nine years ago assuming we'd eventually have children. I guess we just thought it was something everybody did, like taxes and death. Over time, I came to realize it was a *choice* and when I saw how absolutely relieved DH was, well, I knew we could have a wonderful life together without kids. I was right.

We love our freedom (time and money), our furbabies (four spoiled cats), and our quiet, clean home. We have three nieces so far and I'm sure more on the way. Many of our friends have children and we enjoy limited time with them, too.

I don't really get annoyed with people asking about the status of my uterus, but it totally offends me when people 1) assume I'm going to change my mind or 2) insult my decision to be childfree. I told a neighbor we don't want kids and he told me I had *issues*!!! Thanks, buddy!

Anyway, thought I should chime in to show my support. It's wonderful to know there are tons of CF and CL Disney fans, and parents who seem to understand our position (unlike the person I quoted.)

Preach on, sister! That our house stays clean after the housekeeper comes (and that we can afford to have a housekeeper) is one of life's greatest joys.

 

[maddhatir]

I throw eggs at pregnant women

HEYYYY! i thought i was the only one that does that!

Preach on, sister! That our house stays clean after the housekeeper comes (and that we can afford to have a housekeeper) is one of life's greatest joys.

oh- its that the BEST feeling, my housekeeper comes every 2 weeks and i can keep my house clean in between and it looks like she just was here! and it gives me sooo much more time on the boards!

 

[snusnu]

BTW, I do plan to have children (whether biological or adopted we haven't decided yet) so don't think I'm a bitter cranky feminist please. I just think it's crazy that people start thinking something is wrong with you if you haven't had a child within the first three years of a marriage.

Can I PLEASE have this as my tag?? Please?? I'm a total bitter, cranky feminist.

 

[snusnu]

HEYYYY! i thought i was the only one that does that!


oh- its that the BEST feeling, my housekeeper comes every 2 weeks and i can keep my house clean in between and it looks like she just was here! and it gives me sooo much more time on the boards!

Isn't it WONDERFUL!? My DH told me that he thought we should have her only every three weeks instead of two and turned white when I turned to look at him. I must have had Judge Doom's daggers popping out of my head. Don't mess with the wife and her housekeeper.

 

[maddhatir]

Isn't it WONDERFUL!? My DH told me that he thought we should have her only every three weeks instead of two and turned white when I turned to look at him. I must have had Judge Doom's daggers popping out of my head. Don't mess with the wife and her housekeeper.

HA same here- they can just tell by our face-- and what was his response?---"sorry- only a suggestion!" and walked away quietly??!

i told dh, if we dont get a housekeeper- we will have no choice but to live in squalor!

 

[Hixski]

HA same here- they can just tell by our face-- and what was his response?---"sorry- only a suggestion!" and walked away quietly??!

i told dh, if we dont get a housekeeper- we will have no choice but to live in squalor!

Another married without children that has a housekeeper. Hey, I have a 90 lb golden retriever. I don't have dust bunnies, I have Duncan bunnies. I work 12 hour night shifts and my DH works days. I sure am not going to spend the time I have with him cleaning.

 

[snusnu]

HA same here- they can just tell by our face-- and what was his response?---"sorry- only a suggestion!" and walked away quietly??!

i told dh, if we dont get a housekeeper- we will have no choice but to live in squalor!

Yep. That was his response, as well. A good spouse knows when argument will be in vain.

 

[PrincessKitty1]

Can I PLEASE have this as my tag?? Please?? I'm a total bitter, cranky feminist.

NO! NO! *****I'm***** a total bitter,cranky feminist. Please, Tag Fairy, please!

 

[plgrn]

Ya'll are too funny. And this talk about enjoying the luxury of a housekeeper one day has inspired me to get my tubes tied! Well, mabye not that far, but I'm getting close to that point.

 

[plgrn]

DH and I married almost nine years ago assuming we'd eventually have children. I guess we just thought it was something everybody did, like taxes and death.

Exactly! No joy in the thought AT ALL. I just can't help but hope I'll get that maternal feeling one day, but I don't think it's going to happen!

 

[PatriciaH]

I have three children, and one of them has special needs. I love my children, but it is hard work and there are a lot of tears shed and sleepless nights, especially over my special needs child. (Will she be able to take are of herself? Will she be happy in life? What will happen to her after we are gone?)

I'm glad I had children but this kind of pressure is definitely not for everyone. You probably hate people saying how much you would like having children as much as I hate people suggesting that I was somehow chosen to be the parent of my daughter and how it will make me strong, etc.

Do what is right for you, and know that being a parent can take a real emotional toll on you, so only do it if you are absolutely sure that you are ready to deal with whatever comes along!

Thanks for your post. This is one of the major reasons DH and I have not had children. We will be married 10 years in October. My parents lost a baby at 1 month due to heart problems and DH's parents lost a severe special needs child at 12. We could not deal with that and no one can guarantee a child will be perfect! It is such a crap shoot. Even just attitude, etc.. You could be the best parents in the world and wind up with a mean child. I see parents and children that really do not get along every day. You can cut the tension with a knife. Or they are obviously favoring one child over the other. Why? Children are people with their own views and attitudes and as much as some folks may deny it they are subject to their emotions towards that person.