Marrieds choosing not to have kids

[PrincessKitty1]

"Trouble knocked on the door, but hearing laughter, hurried away"

Ooh! I love it!

A few years ago I found a wonderful mosaic (made with Scrabble tiles) that said, "God I love my life!" I think about that saying often. Whenever it doesn't ring true to me, I think about what I need to change to make it true! (After 9 months in a salaried job with beaucoup uncompensated overtime and nobody to cover me for vacation time, I'm starting a new job on Monday--three twelve hour shifts per week, no weekends, so a 4-day weekend every week! I think I will start loving my life again real soon!)

I love being a DINK. Today DH and I arrived home from work within 5 minutes of each other, drove to the post office to mail a book I'd just sold (I have a small business buying and selling out-of-print books and ephemera), and bought some groceries...headed home to cook up pasta, drink good red wine, and hang out watching a movie on DVD. Last weekend we spontaneously drove to St Augustine, ate at our two favorite restaurants, and spent the night! (Not TOO spontaneously, 'cause we had to call our pet sitter ).

 

[Flyerfan]

Just found this today as I am usually over on the Resort or Park boards. We are fellow DINK's.....not even a pet! Have to do something about the pet thing. We've been married for 9 years and love the freedom. We love to just pick up and go, especially to WDW. And when people, who've never been there give me that line, "WDW is for kids". Uggh. Yes, it's great for kids, but I think it's great for adults as well. I wish I could make them understand. We are kids at heart when we're there!

To the OP....people have actually stopped asking us about kids. It's been a while since anyone has approached me about it. After the initial, "Do you have kids?" I think the "why not?" is none of their business.

 

[Hixski]

Just found this today as I am usually over on the Resort or Park boards. We are fellow DINK's.....not even a pet! Have to do something about the pet thing. We've been married for 9 years and love the freedom. We love to just pick up and go, especially to WDW. And when people, who've never been there give me that line, "WDW is for kids". Uggh. Yes, it's great for kids, but I think it's great for adults as well. I wish I could make them understand. We are kids at heart when we're there!

To the OP....people have actually stopped asking us about kids. It's been a while since anyone has approached me about it. After the initial, "Do you have kids?" I think the "why not?" is none of their business.

Welcome fellow DINK.

 

[PhotobearSam]

Can someone please tell me exactly what DINKS stands for...I got the No kids part but I want to be able to tell my friends about it...Thanks!

 

[PrincessKitty1]

DINK= Double Income No Kids.

Actually, DH and I would rather be LINKS (Lotto Income, No Kids)--yeah, we can DREAM.

 

[PhotobearSam]

I would love to be a LINK but we are DINKS...all the way!

Thanks for clearing that up for me.

 

[Hixski]

DINK= Double Income No Kids.

Actually, DH and I would rather be LINKS (Lotto Income, No Kids)--yeah, we can DREAM.

Ok, All DINKS in favor of being LINKS, raise you hand.

 

[Flyerfan]

Ok, All DINKS in favor of being LINKS, raise you hand.

 

[plgrn]

We are SINKS at the moment until I graduate. Will it ever end?

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I should add nutrition in there. The folks with kids I know have no -- and I mean ZERO -- time to cook a healthy meal for their families. It's always food in a box, food in a bag, take-out, pizza delivery. No wonder our country is getting more obese by the second! How are the children today learning about proper nutrition, as well as precious family recipes from previous generations?

Well, the "private" time with my hubby is great. If we want to run around the house naked at 5:15 in the afternoon and "play," there is nothing stopping us

I totally agree! It's just my husband and I and I cook us AWESOME meals! We never eat anything out of a box. The only catch is, I am so used to cooking for only 2, so when we have company for dinner, I have do to some reorganizing! LOL!!

 

[PatriciaH]

Ok, All DINKS in favor of being LINKS, raise you hand.

 

[maddhatir]

Ok, All DINKS in favor of being LINKS, raise you hand.

My DINK DH buys Pick 6 lottery tix all the time and never checks them!!!

Therefore, we actually could be LINK-y DINKS! If one of us would check the STINK'in tix!

You know you are a DINK when you get to spend the WHOLE day on the beach in Margate NJ (Sunday from 1pm to 7pm!!!) of course, with your cooler of DINK drinks- and the only time you HAVE to get up is to go to the ladies room OR of course to walk up to the Greenhouse restaurant/bar for a yummy pizza and more drinks! ....and then back to the beach ........for a nap!

 

[Shugardrawers]

Gosh in all my time on the Dis I've never stumbled across this thread? How did I miss it? Can I hop on the adults only train?

A while back I posted that my Dh is not a "kid" person. Was I ever flamed!!! Geez, I needed asbestos underpants after that!! In fact, I was told my Dh was abusive and I should leave him because he just doesn't tolerate rowdy kids well!! I initially wanted children but didn't want to be a single parent. I had a short, unstable marriage in my 20's but didn't marry Dh until I was 36. By then I'd already had a hysterectomy due to endometrioisis and cancer. Neither of us is interested in adoption or other methods of becoming parents. We simply aren't interested in being parents period.

I'm a bit more tolerant of kids than my Dh but have learned to embrace my unencumbered lifestyle. What really cracks me up is people who can't figure out what I see in WDW. They try to tell me it's for kids and they like to remind me the place will be over-run with children. Just because I don't have or want children doesn't mean I want to boil them and eat them for dinner!!

Anyway, very nice to know there are others like me who just don't have that maternal gene and don't think they are abnormal for being that way

 

[maddhatir]

Gosh in all my time on the Dis I've never stumbled across this thread? How did I miss it? Can I hop on the adults only train?

A while back I posted that my Dh is not a "kid" person. Was I ever flamed!!! Geez, I needed asbestos underpants after that!! In fact, I was told my Dh was abusive and I should leave him because he just doesn't tolerate rowdy kids well!! I initially wanted children but didn't want to be a single parent. I had a short, unstable marriage in my 20's but didn't marry Dh until I was 36. By then I'd already had a hysterectomy due to endometrioisis and cancer. Neither of us is interested in adoption or other methods of becoming parents. We simply aren't interested in being parents period.

I'm a bit more tolerant of kids than my Dh but have learned to embrace my unencumbered lifestyle. What really cracks me up is people who can't figure out what I see in WDW. They try to tell me it's for kids and they like to remind me the place will be over-run with children. Just because I don't have or want children doesn't mean I want to boil them and eat them for dinner!!

Anyway, very nice to know there are others like me who just don't have that maternal gene and don't think they are abnormal for being that way

Welcome Shugardrawers- I am very happy to read your tag that you are a survivor

It seems the thread has turned into the DINK thread! Come and share your DINK stories!

 

[DizzKneeGeek]

Wow!! How did I miss this thread?? I know it's old; but I'm going to post my thoughts on this subject anyway. I'm sure somebody will read it.

Here's our story. Princess Fontaine and I are both 33 years old. We met and started dating before either of us could even drive legally. We got married when we were 19 and have been happily married for dang near 14 years now. We are both only children. So, if we had kids they would have no cousins, aunts or uncles.

We do not have children. Nor do we ever plan on having any. If one more person tells me we're being selfish; I'm gonna snap! Why is it being selfish to make an informed choice to not contribute to overpopulating this planet? I'm thankfully reminded by my mom that there is no requirement to procreate. Our parents are a bit disappointed that they will never have any grandkids but they all respect our descision and tell us that having kids just so they can be grandparents isn't a very good reason.

DW and I enjoy our lives with our dogs and us. And we both work jobs where we choose our own work schedules and enjoy being able to go and do as we please, when we please. Having a child would change that. And that's not a change we want to make. Another factor is that we both work nights and know that having a child on a night schedule is not good. And again, it's something we don't want to change.

When people ask why we don't have kids I just say that we don't want any and try to leave it at that. But I'm getting seriously tired of being asked the question.

I believe that asking me why I don't have kids and then hassling me about my choice is just as rude as if I asked you why 'you' have so many kids. That's not very nice is it?

And as to WDW being mainly for kids???...??? um...if it wasn't for the adults; there would be no kids there anyway. I'm not aware of many 2-12 year olds that can pay their own way to the world.

In summation: if you have kids and enjoy them...great!! if you have kids and are miserable...it was your choice. if you dont have kids but want them and can't have them...my heart goes out to you. if you don't have kids and don't want to have kids...you're not being selfish. do what you feel is right.

p.s. I don't want to come off as sounding anti-kid, cause I'm not. I'm just anti-being harrassed because of my choices.

 

[Hixski]

Wow!! How did I miss this thread?? I know it's old; but I'm going to post my thoughts on this subject anyway. I'm sure somebody will read it.

Here's our story. Princess Fontaine and I are both 33 years old. We met and started dating before either of us could even drive legally. We got married when we were 19 and have been happily married for dang near 14 years now. We are both only children. So, if we had kids they would have no cousins, aunts or uncles.

We do not have children. Nor do we ever plan on having any. If one more person tells me we're being selfish; I'm gonna snap! Why is it being selfish to make an informed choice to not contribute to overpopulating this planet? I'm thankfully reminded by my mom that there is no requirement to procreate. Our parents are a bit disappointed that they will never have any grandkids but they all respect our descision and tell us that having kids just so they can be grandparents isn't a very good reason.

DW and I enjoy our lives with our dogs and us. And we both work jobs where we choose our own work schedules and enjoy being able to go and do as we please, when we please. Having a child would change that. And that's not a change we want to make. Another factor is that we both work nights and know that having a child on a night schedule is not good. And again, it's something we don't want to change.

When people ask why we don't have kids I just say that we don't want any and try to leave it at that. But I'm getting seriously tired of being asked the question.

I believe that asking me why I don't have kids and then hassling me about my choice is just as rude as if I asked you why 'you' have so many kids. That's not very nice is it?

And as to WDW being mainly for kids???...??? um...if it wasn't for the adults; there would be no kids there anyway. I'm not aware of many 2-12 year olds that can pay their own way to the world.

In summation: if you have kids and enjoy them...great!! if you have kids and are miserable...it was your choice. if you dont have kids but want them and can't have them...my heart goes out to you. if you don't have kids and don't want to have kids...you're not being selfish. do what you feel is right.

p.s. I don't want to come off as sounding anti-kid, cause I'm not. I'm just anti-being harrassed because of my choices.

DH and I are 46 and 47. I work 12hr night shifts. DH works very early morning hours. The neighbors call us the Vampire couple. Everyone has given up on us having children. So you only have about 10 or so more years of the harrassment before they give up.

Go DINKS!!!

 

[DizzKneeGeek]

DH and I are 46 and 47. I work 12hr night shifts. DH works very early morning hours. The neighbors call us the Vampire couple. Everyone has given up on us having children. So you only have about 10 or so more years of the harrassment before they give up.

Go DINKS!!!

we've got a pretty good set up here in our neighborhood.we've got a night shift family(us), an early am shift family and a midday family. so someone is always awake and keeping the street safe. didnt know what a dink was till just a bit ago. but we are dinks and love it.

 

[Shugardrawers]

Well, for health reasons I'm not working now or for the forseeable future so we only have one income. Does that make us SINKS???

 

[DizzKneeGeek]

Well, for health reasons I'm not working now or for the forseeable future so we only have one income. Does that make us SINKS???

i guess a SINK is better than a NINK(No Income No Kids) or better yet a NILK(No Income Lotsa Kids)

 

[kennancat]

Don't remember if I've already mentioned this one, but DH told me one he'd heard recently as the next step after DINK: SITCOM: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. Yeah, we'll take DINK