Marrieds choosing not to have kids

[ForTheLoveofDisney]

So, I'm just checking in.

It turns out that my dad won't be able to come down. It's good in one sense because we really aren't prepared for guests. We just moved into an older home that needs work but it would have been nice to spend some time with him and have him see our new house.

Also, it would have been a great excuse to take some days off. I want to take a day or two off. I need to take a day or two off but I can' justify it when I don't have alot of days yet. Kind of like hoarding the meds thing. I know I'll get more days but what if I need them before then? What if I get sick or the car breaks down or WHATEVER and I've used all my days? Would I get in trouble? Would I not get paid? I know I'm totally babbling. I apologize. I'm just a little wrung up after the day I've had. It was bad!! And alls I kept thinking was I need to get out of here for awhile.

Thank God it's Friday is all I can say.

 

[maddhatir]

So, I'm just checking in.

It turns out that my dad won't be able to come down. It's good in one sense because we really aren't prepared for guests. We just moved into an older home that needs work but it would have been nice to spend some time with him and have him see our new house.

Also, it would have been a great excuse to take some days off. I want to take a day or two off. I need to take a day or two off but I can' justify it when I don't have alot of days yet. Kind of like hoarding the meds thing. I know I'll get more days but what if I need them before then? What if I get sick or the car breaks down or WHATEVER and I've used all my days? Would I get in trouble? Would I not get paid? I know I'm totally babbling. I apologize. I'm just a little wrung up after the day I've had. It was bad!! And alls I kept thinking was I need to get out of here for awhile.

Thank God it's Friday is all I can say.

You poor thing! I am sending you a "virtual Ativan" b/c you sure sound like you need it! Sorry you will not get to see your dad! maybe you can take a trip to good ol' NJ! Everything is turning green here.

You know, Friday always seems to make things better!

I have had an easy week work wise- I am all caught up posting all last month's checks and I am ahead of myself for April. I am going into work on Monday just to help the billing girl who is way behind.

FortheLove- I am not sure how it would go if you needed to take off- I would assume they would give you a choice of not being paid- or just making up the time- is your boss cool?

I have just the opposite problem- My year is up May 9th and I have 5 days to take off by then! UGH- Tuesday I have to go to the dentist- so I figure I will use one for that- wooo who, the dentist-- let's have a party- I DO have to take 2 Ativan before going- I am deathly afraid of the dentist even though I have never been hurt by one After it is all done- I always think- what the %$#@ am I afraid of! dork. Can't neglect the teeth- so must take drugs..............

DH said he wants to take a day or 2 with me- so I am just waiting for him to let me know. and as far as the remaining 2 days- I like to take Monday's off- so I might do that.

What is everyone's BIG plans for the weekend?

Tonight we are going to dinner with one of the last couples we know who don't have kids.......however, they are pregnant!

The guy is my cousin- he never wanted kids.
We all (DH, me and my cousin) would get invited to a few of our friend's kid's b-day parties and he would FA-REAK when the kids blew out the candles- he would say he was not eating any cake b/c the kids SPIT ON IT He would get so mad Like it was all about him!

I guess things change huh? NOT for me though!

I just had to mail out my tax return- yuk- of course I OWED the State of NJ! We get back $$ for Federal. Of course, no breaks for us people.

Well- enough rambling from me too!

Bye for now!

 

[Hixski]

No really big plans for us for the weekend. We work weird schedules so we don't always have weekends off.

DH is working tomorrow and Sunday for OT. I don't get off work until 7 in the morning. I will sleep till 3PM. So Saturday night will just be lazy. Sunday I need to get some more painting done in our master bathroom until DH comes home from work. We then have to hit our neighborhood Hooters (we are friends with the bartender) to use our BYGO free wings coupon. Monday night is date night and I don't know where we are going. Tuesday we are going to the STL Cardinals game. I just won tickets from work and my boss brought them over to my office for me. Club level seats and a parking pass to boot.

Just our somewhat normal weekend. Next weekend will be more exciting. We will be going to California to see our friends. Saturday till Tuesday. They have 2 girls, 8 and 10. The oldest has a softball tournament on Saturday. We told them just to come get us between games and we will watch whatever games she needs to play in. Their girls are great but I'm sure I will have some stories about some of the others when I get back.

 

[bzlitme]

Funny but I also take Xanax only when I fly. I actually like to fly but get really nervous like a day before so the Xanax takes the edge off.

 

[maddhatir]

Monday night is date night and I don't know where we are going. Tuesday we are going to the STL Cardinals game. I just won tickets from work and my boss brought them over to my office for me. Club level seats and a parking pass to boot.

Just our somewhat normal weekend. Next weekend will be more exciting. We will be going to California to see our friends. Saturday till Tuesday. They have 2 girls, 8 and 10. The oldest has a softball tournament on Saturday. We told them just to come get us between games and we will watch whatever games she needs to play in. Their girls are great but I'm sure I will have some stories about some of the others when I get back.

Date night sounds like a good idea- DH and I should start doing that- especially since it is getting warmer- we can go to dinner someplace that has outdoor seating!

Love FREE tickets! My boss used to give me free Flyers tix- but I think he forgets I work for him anymore since I work from home, I rarely see him- when he sees me he always says "Heyyyyy, it's the new girl!" I have been working for him for 12 years!

Hey Hix CA!!!? Are you close to DL???

Last night we went to dinner- and this little girl kept RUNNING past our table, back and forth- the floor was bouncing. I felt my body tensing but everyone else at my table just kept talking

We kept busting on my cousin

(the one we had dinner with who is have his forst child...he is 41) saying he will never get to take his daily naps after the baby is born- he LOVES to nap-

we said no more adult only all-inclusives! He said "oh no- I am going to have to vacation places were there is poop in the pool!"

He drives a corvette- where is the baby seat going?!

no more just spur of the moment hopping a plane to another state to see the NJ Devils or the PA Phillies play another team

This is the kind of person he is- he said for the baby shower- he is registering at Best Buy b/c he wants a new TV!- I said- No more "it's all about me"!! He did that for their wedding shower-

oh- he did say he would eat cake if it had his onw child's spit on it from blowing out the candles- that is a big step for him

 

[maddhatir]

Funny but I also take Xanax only when I fly. I actually like to fly but get really nervous like a day before so the Xanax takes the edge off.

Welcome- another NJ person!

 

[maddhatir]

I have a question-

I am a dork when it comes to downloading music- I think I am one of the last people on earth NOT to have an IPod!

I am more of a CD- Satellite radio kinda gal- however, I have a whole list of CDs I want to buy and DH said- why not just download the songs onto a disc.........

OK- I would if I knew 1. how to do it- and 2. where the heck to find the music.

I Googled music downloads and I see Napster and Rhapsody- Rhapsody is 89 cents a song- well, after I download the whole CD for 89 cents a song- I can just go buy the CD at the store!

I am not one of those people who buy a CD b/c of one song- I enjoy listening to all the other songs on the CD too! I usually buy a CD b/c of the BAND not b/c of a SONG.

So- what I am asking- what site is the best and is it worth me paying for every song- or should I go and buy the CD?

Thanks peeps.

 

[zima-cheryl]

I have a question-

I am a dork when it comes to downloading music- I think I am one of the last people on earth NOT to have an IPod!

I am more of a CD- Satellite radio kinda gal- however, I have a whole list of CDs I want to buy and DH said- why not just download the songs onto a disc.........

OK- I would if I knew 1. how to do it- and 2. where the heck to find the music.

I Googled music downloads and I see Napster and Rhapsody- Rhapsody is 89 cents a song- well, after I download the whole CD for 89 cents a song- I can just go buy the CD at the store!

I am not one of those people who buy a CD b/c of one song- I enjoy listening to all the other songs on the CD too! I usually buy a CD b/c of the BAND not b/c of a SONG.

So- what I am asking- what site is the best and is it worth me paying for every song- or should I go and buy the CD?

Thanks peeps.

I actually have 2 I-Pods & love them (I have a video + a shuffle).
You should think about getting one.

I use ITunes (http://www.apple.com/itunes/overview) for buying all my music any more. You are right the cost comes out about even on the albums...sometimes $1 more or less... but close in price to the stores.

ITunes is free, you just have to install it on your PC. They have 90% of anything I've ever wanted, although some of the more eclectic music they don't carry, so you have to go the old fashion route of buying a real CD.
ITunes also has 1 or 2 free songs available each week...occasionally there is a good one, but usually they stink.

Once the music is in ITunes you can copy it (assuming you have a PC w/a CD writer) to a CD. I do this for my car - that way if anything comes up missing its no big deal...I just make another copy. I also like that you can mix/match & make your own CD's. (Certain music mixes just work better during the summer in a convertible you know! )

When I first got ITunes it took about 2 weeks to load all our CD's into the computer. I like that I can choose what to copy from ITunes onto each I-Pod. I keep a short list on the shuffle + a few WDW podcasts to take to the gym. The other one has tons of music + 5 or 6 movies at any time.

DH uses Limewire to get his music: www.limewire.com (although we don't condone downloading of illegal music )

Hope that helps some.

 

[Hixski]

Date night sounds like a good idea- DH and I should start doing that- especially since it is getting warmer- we can go to dinner someplace that has outdoor seating!

Hey Hix CA!!!? Are you close to DL???

Monday night has been our date night for a long time. DH and I are both off on Tuesdays so we can do whatever we want and sleep in on Tuesdays. Try it you will like it.

No DL for us. We will be in Sacramento. We always go somewhere new when we go out there to see our friends. We went with them to San Francisco for the day. Napa for wine tasting. (Me pushing an umbrella stroller for the day at Napa because the youngest daughter only wanted me to push. She was 4 at the time) One summer we went to Lake Tahoe for the day. They are close to all that. It's great!!

I have a question-

I am a dork when it comes to downloading music- I think I am one of the last people on earth NOT to have an IPod!

I am more of a CD- Satellite radio kinda gal- however, I have a whole list of CDs I want to buy and DH said- why not just download the songs onto a disc.........

OK- I would if I knew 1. how to do it- and 2. where the heck to find the music.

I Googled music downloads and I see Napster and Rhapsody- Rhapsody is 89 cents a song- well, after I download the whole CD for 89 cents a song- I can just go buy the CD at the store!

I am not one of those people who buy a CD b/c of one song- I enjoy listening to all the other songs on the CD too! I usually buy a CD b/c of the BAND not b/c of a SONG.

So- what I am asking- what site is the best and is it worth me paying for every song- or should I go and buy the CD?

Thanks peeps.

As I hang my head in shame I will say I don't have an IPod either. It's not because I'm a dinosaur or anything (I work in IT for crying out loud) I just have never gotten around to getting one. Not a top priority for us I guess. Someone here will have some info. At the risk of sounding like an old lady whenever we want to know about anything new like that we just talk to all the 20 somethings we know. They know their electronics, I will give them that.

 

[Rozzie]

Haven't posted in many a moon. Thought I'd give a little update. Remember how I was griping about the whole working every holiday thing since we don't have kids? Well found a new job, in a GI Lab, only have to work every 8th weekend, call once a week, and just one holiday a year, which rotates, since there are 8 full time RN's, if I work Christmas this year, I don't work it again for 8 years. (If I last that long, LOL) It's a good job, home by 3pm, but at work at 0600, not to big of a deal for me since I am a morning person.

The kicker is this, since it is a job that is really easy for working mom's, that is all that is there!! I'm the only employee in the lab without kids, and man, you would have thought I had 9 set of eyes when I declared I don't want kids. So here I go, with all the personal questions, even the Doc's there think I must have "issues" if I don't want kids. What century is this????????

Thanks for the vent, I feel much better now. Off to go get a cold beer, just got done cleaning the bathrooms.

 

[PhotobearSam]

Haven't posted in many a moon. Thought I'd give a little update. Remember how I was griping about the whole working every holiday thing since we don't have kids? Well found a new job, in a GI Lab, only have to work every 8th weekend, call once a week, and just one holiday a year, which rotates, since there are 8 full time RN's, if I work Christmas this year, I don't work it again for 8 years. (If I last that long, LOL) It's a good job, home by 3pm, but at work at 0600, not to big of a deal for me since I am a morning person.

The kicker is this, since it is a job that is really easy for working mom's, that is all that is there!! I'm the only employee in the lab without kids, and man, you would have thought I had 9 set of eyes when I declared I don't want kids. So here I go, with all the personal questions, even the Doc's there think I must have "issues" if I don't want kids. What century is this????????

Thanks for the vent, I feel much better now. Off to go get a cold beer, just got done cleaning the bathrooms.

So nice to hear from you again.

Congrats on the new job...sorry about the 9 sets of eyes and the questions...I think they are all jealous of your child free status. I hope you come here more often...

 

[Rozzie]

So nice to hear from you again.

Congrats on the new job...sorry about the 9 sets of eyes and the questions...I think they are all jealous of your child free status. I hope you come here more often...

Hey friend! I was just going through some Disney albums the other day (homesick) and saw the pics of when we all met up. Fun day!!!!!

 

[HockeyKat]

Haven't posted in many a moon. Thought I'd give a little update. Remember how I was griping about the whole working every holiday thing since we don't have kids? Well found a new job, in a GI Lab, only have to work every 8th weekend, call once a week, and just one holiday a year, which rotates, since there are 8 full time RN's, if I work Christmas this year, I don't work it again for 8 years. (If I last that long, LOL) It's a good job, home by 3pm, but at work at 0600, not to big of a deal for me since I am a morning person.

The kicker is this, since it is a job that is really easy for working mom's, that is all that is there!! I'm the only employee in the lab without kids, and man, you would have thought I had 9 set of eyes when I declared I don't want kids. So here I go, with all the personal questions, even the Doc's there think I must have "issues" if I don't want kids. What century is this????????

Thanks for the vent, I feel much better now. Off to go get a cold beer, just got done cleaning the bathrooms.

Rozzie!! Miss you on the other board... I get the questions all the time, I just tell them they don't want Mr Kat and I's spawn running around and they usually shut up.

Work has competely kicked my butt this week, so I haven't really been keeping up.

I gave in tonight (been trying to lose weight) and had Mexican food and beer and man, it feels good.

I can't add anything to the medication discussion... allergy stuff, birth control (OF COURSE!), and advil are about as far as I go.

 

[patti_jim_peanut]

This makes me think of my husbands family...
My hubby is 34 and I am 26, we have been married for almost 2 yrs now and they keep asking "Why haven't you guys had any babies yet?".
Umm... let's think about this for a minute, shall we?
I was 20 yrs old when I got pregnant w/ my DD5 and I was a single mother...not what I had planned and totally unexpected, but I wouldn't change a thing as she is the best thing in my life!

One My husband is a very immature man...he may be 34, but he, quite often, acts like he's 14. He can have no patience, a short temper, a serious mean streak and thinks that being terrified of your parents is healthy for a child. I have issues with the latter because I was abused by my parents from the age of 6 to the age of 18 when I joined the Army and lived in constant fear. He grew up pampered and spoiled by his parents who still to this day make excuses for his behavior.He has issues that he needs to work out before we will discuss having additional children. I have told him so, too and he's working on his issues

Two His hours at work have been cut back and we have too much debt to comfortably support a baby. I do not want to bring a baby into our house and then have to worry constantly about affording formula or diapers or buying new clothes for the baby every 3 months!

Three Quite frankly, i'm not sure if I want anymore! I have reached the point with my daughter where she's in school full-time, no diapers to change or potty training. No midnight feeding sessions or cholicy(sp?) fits at 2am. I'm not sure if I want to go through that again...

The hardest part is being around his family. Mine can understand and appreciate us waiting but his for some reason can't.
What makes it worse is his brother and his wife... they had 2 kids when we got married and since then, they have been pregnant 4 times and had 2 more children. The best part? They are pregnant AGAIN...with twins

So obviously, everytime there is a family gathering, the pressure is on... "why haven't you guys had a baby yet?" or "so when are we going to be getting this happy news from you two?" or the best one yet "patti, when are you going to give us a grandchild to spoil?"

And I know that she isn't biologically their grandchild, but it steams me that they say that when my daughter has only known my husband as daddy and them as her grammy and grampa. She is their grand-daughter, whether by blood or not! And I don't want to have another child and have them treat it differently than her...cause she will see it and it will hurt her. It happend with me...my dad got married when I was 6 and had 4 more kids...my stepmom always treated me different than them and it hurts.



Sorry about dragging on, but it got my dander up!

As for the people who so rudely ask? I like "Why do you ask?" or "Why do you need to know?" Or you could always say "Thats none of your business".

 

[Rozzie]

Rozzie!! Miss you on the other board... I get the questions all the time, I just tell them they don't want Mr Kat and I's spawn running around and they usually shut up.

.

Hey Kat!! So good to "see" you. Yep, I really need to get my butt back over to the other board more often. Sorry work is such a bear.

patti_jim_peanut----I am really fortunate in the sense our families have all but given up on us having children, and they all "seem" okay with that. Then again, we have been married for over 10 years now, and they must have all but given up hope. Sorry things are rough for you, that must be really stressful with family breathing down your neck.

 

[Hixski]

On my side of the family there are just my brother and I. My brother lives at home with my parents and has never left. He has never been married and no kids. I think my parents don't care that we don't have kids since he is the "golden child". He is the one that should have kids. So while it hurts that I'm not the golden child at least nobody was ever breathing down our necks for a grandchild. DH has 16 (I think I counted right) nieces and nephews so his parents didn't really worry about us as far as we know.

We got more grief from other family, friends and strangers than we ever got from our immediate families.

 

[wdwgypsy]

6,661,116,988 on the earth is enough reason for me.

Better to be the non parent than the parent that ignores what they brought into this world. Seen that one a few times.

We have raised 3 girls and raising a 4th now. Some birth some adoption. We would raise more if age and money would allow because that is our choice.
Just as it is your choice not to be parent and I respect that. If you told me you weren't planning on having children I may seem disappointed but not in you. There are some things that raising children bring that you can't duplicate with nieces and nephews. But then again not everyone sky dives either

Not that you need it but those that decide not to have children have my support. But you know you can't hide, we know you by your white carpets and light colored funiture

 

[maddhatir]

But you know you can't hide, we know you by your white carpets and light colored funiture

You know- the first house DH and I owned in 1987- we had off white sofas and 2 off white ottomans.

We never went into the "sitting room" where they were. One Thanksgiving we had the family over. Well, add 3 kids to the house and by the end of the evening the sofas had marks on them!

 

[Suzibrat]

Good Morning everyone!
I have alot to catch up on here..you all have been busy over the weekend and I see new faces here too!
DH has a Dr appointment today and hopefully he will be released back to work. He's more than ready to go back, I know that! (And I'm more than ready to have him go back!!)
I'll try to get back in here later today to catch up with everyone. In the meantime have a good day!

 

[ForTheLoveofDisney]

Whoa, Suzi, you were on bright and early!!

I was down a computer this weekend. We finally moved into the computer room (and moved things around) to get that put in order after moving in. The dad visit that didn't happen kind of got us in gear again. When we first moved in we worked, worked, worked just to get the bathroom refinished. It was work overload. Then, when that was done we didn't feel like doing anymore. Lazy, lazy, lazy I know.

So, with summer coming and the prospect of visitors we thought, we better get cracking! I could have used today off as well but DH wouldn't go for it and, well, you know how silly I am about using my days. Besides, it's really better w/ DH there because he helps me to get rid of things.

Otherwise, sometimes I pack rat it.