Marriage

[Raulandpinboy]

Marriage:

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and
be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other women replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

--------------------------------------------------------------------
A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds:
"Husband wanted." Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge
than to let her keep him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Eighty percent of married men cheat in the USA The rest
cheat in Canada.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
A man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost
to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying,"

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Young son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a
man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That
happens in every country, son.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what
real happiness was until I got married; and by then it was
too late."

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to
every word you say, talk in your sleep.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through
life thinking they had no faults at all.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start
to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

First guy: "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk
down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think
they are attractive to the opposite sex.

 

[Live_From_Little_Red]

A married couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 40th anniversary. During their party, a fairy appeared to congratulate them and grant them each one wish. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and poof - the wife had tickets in her hand for a world cruise. Next, the fairy asked the husband what he wanted. He said; "I wish I had a wife 30 years younger than me." So the the fairy picked up her wand and poof - the husband was 90.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Ma and Pa where rocking on the front porch when Pa turned and slapped Ma. Ma said, "What was that for?" Pa said, "For forty years of bad sex." Ma said, "Oh," and continued rocking. Ma reached over and slapped Pa. Pa said. "What was that for?" Ma said, "For knowing the difference."

Brian