Hercules10
Al Bundy WannaBe
- Joined
- May 8, 2002
- Messages
- 5,346
Ladies, if in doubt please always refer to rule #1. 
#1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
#1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
#1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
#1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and NASCAR.
#1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
#1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
#1 When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
#1. Crying is blackmail.
#1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
#1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
#1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
#1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
#1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
#1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
#1. Check your own oil! Please.
#1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
#1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
#1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
#1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
#1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done - not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
#1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
#1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
#1 The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
#1 ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
#1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
#1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
#1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
#1 I'm in shape. - ROUND is a shape.
#1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
#1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
#1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
#1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and NASCAR.
#1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
#1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
#1 When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
#1. Crying is blackmail.
#1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
#1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
#1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
#1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
#1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
#1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
#1. Check your own oil! Please.
#1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
#1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
#1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
#1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
#1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done - not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
#1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
#1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
#1 The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
#1 ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
#1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
#1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
#1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
#1 I'm in shape. - ROUND is a shape.
Wonderful.
Why would you guys even ask something like that. Why he didn't just check it is beyond me. I'm going to do incorrectly and he will have to re-do it anyways. 
