Man Thread...Rules for the ladies.

[delilah]

All I can say is if I were anywhere near as self centered and neglectful of my household duties as my husband is, he would be one hurting puppy.

 

[JimmyPicker]

Ooh, this is really not a thread I should have opened. After my little conversation with my husband over the phone a little while, I could really make your ears ring with things that men should/shouldn't do.

Like, if you want a cleaning service, hire one.
If you want a cook, hire one.
If you want kids, help take care of them.
If you're hungry, fix something to eat and while you're at it, fix me something too.
If you put your dish in the sink without washing it, there is no magical fairy to wash it.
Your underwear do not belong under the bed. Or on the floor. Or on your head.
If your clothes are dirty, there's this great machine you can use. We know you love machines. This one is called a washer.

There are more. But I'm trying to be family friendly.

 

[L107ANGEL]

Ooh, this is really not a thread I should have opened. After my little conversation with my husband over the phone a little while, I could really make your ears ring with things that men should/shouldn't do.

Like, if you want a cleaning service, hire one.
If you want a cook, hire one.
If you want kids, help take care of them.
If you're hungry, fix something to eat and while you're at it, fix me something too.
If you put your dish in the sink without washing it, there is no magical fairy to wash it.
Your underwear do not belong under the bed. Or on the floor. Or on your head.
If your clothes are dirty, there's this great machine you can use. We know you love machines. This one is called a washer.

There are more. But I'm trying to be family friendly.

 

[BRDof3]

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big boy. If you can put it up, you can put it back down.

I'll accept the obligation of putting it down only when the women of the world start feeling obligated to leave it up.

 

[Suzie Zoo]

I'm right there with ya! I've read this before and laughed. And of course there are some women who claim they "know all this stuff" but still get ticked off about it. ugh...stupid women give all us good ones a bad image

:

 

[L107ANGEL]

I'll accept the obligation of putting it down only when the women of the world start feeling obligated to leave it up.

Not going to happen!!! Gravity is on our side

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

I just want to echo a stand up comedian that asks the question: Do ladies really not LOOK before setting down on a toilet????

 

[Liberty Belle]

Not going to happen!!! Gravity is on our side

Besides, only 25% of the time is it needed to be up.

 

[L107ANGEL]

I just want to echo a stand up comedian that asks the question: Do ladies really not LOOK before setting down on a toilet????

uh, no! lets break this down for you, whens the last time you looked head on to a toilet to the point of scrubbing it?

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

uh, no! lets break this down for you, whens the last time you looked head on to a toilet to the point of scrubbing it?

?????

So you scrub a toilet before you use it??

that post is missing something.

 

[BRDof3]

Not going to happen!!! Gravity is on our side

When you try to sit on a toilet w/o looking first, you might find out who's side gravity is REALLY on!

 

[Disneynut25]

very, very funny!

 

[L107ANGEL]

When you try to sit on a toilet w/o looking first, you might find out who's side gravity is REALLY on!

wait, do you mean what I think you do?!

 

[Pooh Girl 71]

I just want to echo a stand up comedian that asks the question: Do ladies really not LOOK before setting down on a toilet????

I always look before I sit. I saw a show where someone found a snake in the toilet!

 

[L107ANGEL]

I always look before I sit. I saw a show where someone found a snake in the toilet!

No freaking way!!????????????????

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

I always look before I sit. I saw a show where someone found a snake in the toilet!

True, I have heard of such things, but mostly just going on a trip to WDW, and using a toilet there!!!

Man or women, ya need to look before ya sit!!!


hehehehehe

 

[SundancePass]

don't know how to check the oil...that's why I have a husband. Apparently he got tired of it because he bought me a car that TELLS ME WHEN THE OIL NEEDS TO BE CHANGED. At 15% I call the dealership and make the appointment. HE was checking the oil, read the manual, called the dealership because the computer was only at 20% and it was 6000 miles later. Love those Hondas...but I fell down laughing when I told him, "it's my car, I KNOW when to change the oil...when it's at 15% and the computer onboard tells me it's time." He called the dealership...they told him the same thing....

 

[L107ANGEL]

don't know how to check the oil...that's why I have a husband. Apparently he got tired of it because he bought me a car that TELLS ME WHEN THE OIL NEEDS TO BE CHANGED. At 15% I call the dealership and make the appointment. HE was checking the oil, read the manual, called the dealership because the computer was only at 20% and it was 6000 miles later. Love those Hondas...but I fell down laughing when I told him, "it's my car, I KNOW when to change the oil...when it's at 15% and the computer onboard tells me it's time." He called the dealership...they told him the same thing....

Yay you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[John Smith1]

Ladies, if in doubt please always refer to rule #1.

#1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

#1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

#1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

#1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and NASCAR.

#1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

#1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

#1 When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

#1. Crying is blackmail.

#1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

#1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

#1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

#1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

#1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

#1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

#1. Check your own oil! Please.

#1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

#1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

#1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

#1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

#1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done - not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

#1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

#1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

#1 The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

#1 ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

#1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

#1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

#1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

#1 I'm in shape. - ROUND is a shape.

I like #1~~~

I'm am NOT going to say anymore because I LIKE the women here....

 

[Serena]

I like #1~~~

I'm am NOT going to say anymore because I LIKE the women here....

Smart, smart man.