Wednesday, Sept. 8, 2004 The First Week of Thin Within in review:
First of all, Michelle, you cracked me right up this morning.
Take that same cartoon, put a piece of cheesecake on the end of the line instead of a twinkie, and you have me!
Second of all, Beth, I AM sore, but I'm still functional and able to get around!
I'm feeling like that's a good thing! Yesterday I felt like my hips were in drying cement whenever I tried to stand up, but today it's much better. YOU'RE an amazing Jock Athlete Queen--working 8 hours and then doing a walk like that. YOWZA!
OK, down to business here. I want to take a minute (or ten
'cause we all know how wordy I am) to think about this past week on TW:
My daily objectives were
1. to read my devotional each day. I did this every day.
2. to take my vitamins each day. I did this every day.
3. to drink 6-8 glasses of water each day. I made a good attempt at this, but I don't think I had 6-8 glasses of water. I had liquids, that's for sure, but not enough water. I'll need to work on this some more.
4. to exercise each day. I did this 6 out of 7 days because my poor old body just didn't want to go yesterday!
Total mileage for the week 23.66 miles.
5. to maintain a food log of foods that I ate when I was hungry. I've tried to be more intentional with my food--eating when I'm hungry, stopping when I'm satisfied. I was moderately successful. There were times I ate because it was "time to eat" and there were times I stopped because I was full, rather than merely satisfied. That happened mostly when I was eating out--and I ate out a lot! I went over my journal from the past week and saw that I ate out for meals 6 times! That's almost the same amount that I had on vacation! I hope to have more of my meals at home or to bring them to work this week. I can be more sensitive to portion size that way. A big goal I had was to refrain from mindless binge eating. I have not had any compulsive overeating for 7 days!
I think that out of anything, I'm happiest about that.
So, I began the program last week at 175. I'm completing my first week on the program at 175. Honestly, that doesn't thrill me much, but after seeing how my behaviors--the devotions, the vitamins, the exercise, the food--were all fairly stable and steady, I'm happy with that. I feel close to God, centered, and connected with my body. I feel that I can "observe and correct" (like they say in TW) and continue down the road. At other times in my life, I'd look at a maintenance of weight (particularly one I'm not too happy with) as a total failure. I'd tell myself I need to "get tough" and then I'd cut way back on my food, increase my exercise and set goals for myself that were--9 times out of 10--too rigid and impossible for me to maintain. OR I'd go the other way: I'd tell myself that the weight was going to come back, I had no control, I was doomed to failure, etc., etc., pass the pretzels.
No, today, I feel strangely comfortable and optimistic as I make plans for the upcoming week. At first, when I looked at the scale, I thought, "nope this isn't working, WW here I come," but when I paused and reflected, read my devotions (the opening verse was
"But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded." --2 Chronicles 15:7) I saw what accomplishments I'd made over the week and could praise God for the stable place I'm centered in. I realize that I have to slow down, to trust in God's time, not my time. It's funny, but in NOT losing, I probably learned more about trust and giving up some of the worry and control.
So, onward I go. For week #2, my goals are as follows:
1. By the end of 30 days on TW, I will be back in size 10. I wore my size 10 pants the other day, come to think of it. Maybe I should say that my goal is to be more comfortable in my size 10s!
2. to have a body that is healthy, fit, and strong.
My objectives are:
1. to read my devotional every day and to commit each day of this journey to God and to place myself in His care.
2. to take my vitamins
3. to drink 6-8 glasses of water
4. to exercise daily a minimum of 30-45 minutes
5. to eat when I am hungry and to stop when I am satisfied (not full). I hope to eat fewer restaurant meals. If I make mistakes, I will "observe and correct" and strive to do better. No "club of condemnation." I will refrain from binge eating, turning to prayer and other activities when I'm stressed out. I'll continue to explore ways of coping, basically. I'll continue to log my food as a way of observing and correcting. Today I've had a 1/3 cup kashi, 1/2 cup of milk, a hand full of blueberries, and coffee.
Today's DD's first day of school. I miss her. I feel lonely inside, but I'd never tell her that. Guess I'll just have to let myself have these feelings 'cause there ain't no donuts in the house!
Oh, no, did I say that?
Maybe some things never change!
Thinking of all my WISH buddies. You mean so much to me and I'm so grateful to all of you--
,
Erin
Edit: Hi, Doreen!
You popped in while I was writing my morning dissertation. Thanks for your happy thoughts and your opinion about Merrie. If you think that's the way to go, that's what I'll do.
Edit #2: I changed my siggie--did anyone notice? I'm living in the present now; I removed my "history" (the 200 lb., the 25 lb. clippie, etc.). I'm focused on the moment.
Had a small pancake w/a wee bit of syrup around 9:45. The little bit of cereal had been at 6:15, guess it wasn't enough to last long.
Edit #3: Walked on the treadie (gee, it's been a long time since we had a date!) and logged two miles just a little longer than race pace--32:26. I started off with some shin and hip pain, but walked it out.
At dinner was when I only had a few bites (OK, maybe 4? 5?) of DH's massive piece of regular carrot cake.
Amanda, I don't think so.
Good morning, WISH-sis!! 
I love your new "tag" too!:
I love the verse, and you will be rewarded for all your work.
through the day a little easier.
Oh, thank you, Tag Fairy! I've got to get to the WISH board and to the Techy board to show my gratitude!
