Longest night of my life -- and it's FINALLY over. UPDATE pg. 111

[HayGan]

Sounds like you did a great job! I'm glad it is finally over for you!

 

[Marseeya]

Sounds like you did a great job! I'm glad it is finally over for you!

Thanks, but I get the feeling it's not really over.

I offered to be nice and let him call his friends and use IM to tell him he won't be talking to them for a long while. This was with the dual purpose of being able to see what he's saying on IM. Anyway, reading the logs, he obviously doesn't understand how serious his behavior is, and his GF is no better. He told her that he can't see her while he's grounded and she actually begged him, "don't let her get away with that, I can't lose you, I'll literally die." She obviously doesn't get it. He was telling his other friends what a hypocrite I am because I behaved that way when I was younger. Uh yeah, like when I was 19! Big difference here!

I see no remorse whatsoever, and I'm afraid I'm grasping at straws to hope that he'll learn some sort of lesson here.

 

[sajetto]

It doesn't matter what you did when you were 13, 16, or 19. This is about HIM. Sounds like the girlfriend has some issues and is raised in the kind of home that anyone would want to keep their kids out of. I hope that your DS sees the light about this girl and doesn't keep her around long

 

[~queenie~]

I am so sorry you have gone through such a horrible night!! I hope things get better soon!!


how do you read his im logs??

 

[Marseeya]

I am so sorry you have gone through such a horrible night!! I hope things get better soon!!


how do you read his im logs??

You have to download a program for it. The one I use is Nalsoft AIM Logger, but there are others out there. The one I got was $15.

I told him when he first got online that I "reserved the right to monitor his activity" in any way I deemed fit. For whatever reason, he must not have believed me.

 

[popeyeohoh]

Good Luck. I think your acting the way most normal parents do. The gf's mother and sons friends dad sound like a great pair. It is hard to parent with these types of adults out there.

 

[Nancyg56]

Wow, you sure have had a long night, haven't you? I have been checking the thread, praying for a safe outcome. Thank God that he is okay, and that you did not kill him.

I raised 2 sons and 1 daughter, and I am not sure how parents survive the teenage years. It was the most worrisome time in my life, and I would never want to live thru it again. All I can say is that it gets better, and he will become the human that you envisioned when you gave birth to him. I can also tell you that I think we have selective memory after they outgrow this "phase" because I know that I spent years ready to murder one of them, and now I remember that time with some fondness. My DH actually smiles when he recounts one of the many traumas that happened, but he NEVER smiled back then.

 

[mookie]

Wow. hugs to you.

Just hearing what your going through makes me wonder what I'm in store for. I thought my 3 year old's phase was bad...

 

[Taylor]

I am so glad your son is home safe.

I did a lot of stupid things as a teen in the 70's. I was extremely dumb back then and never really understood how my parents felt. All of this after my 17 year old brother died in a car accident in 1975 (I was 13) and alcohol was involved.

I wish you luck for the future.

 

[Shutterbug]

All I can say is that this girl must have been totally hot!!

At this age...the hotter looking the girl, the higher the guys stupidity factor goes. I know have been there. I remember this one girl in high school(still remember her name). I would have said, did anything no matter how stupid it was if it meant I was "gonna get some".

 

[jodifla]

I don't know if all the restrictions are going to get the result you want. If you're standing between a 17-year-old boy and sex.....I think you're on the losing end.

And in a few months, when he's 18, and an adult?? (I am reading correctly that he's 17, right?)

 

[raammartin]

I don't know if all the restrictions are going to get the result you want. If you're standing between a 17-year-old boy and sex.....I think you're on the losing end.

And in a few months, when he's 18, and an adult?? (I am reading correctly that he's 17, right?)

I think he is 15 and the GF just turned 17. Right?

Marseeya, I don't see how you did it with such a cool head. My DS and DD are still several years from that age and I just envision that I would be the wicked witch in a situation like that. You can't tell kids that age anything. I know, I was one.

Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[Marseeya]

I don't know if all the restrictions are going to get the result you want. If you're standing between a 17-year-old boy and sex.....I think you're on the losing end.

And in a few months, when he's 18, and an adult?? (I am reading correctly that he's 17, right?)

He just turned 15, and I'm not standing between him and sex, I'm standing between him and staying out all night partying and spending the night with a 17 year old girl.

However, when he turns 17, I'm still not allowing him to spend the night at a girlfriend's house! It's just not going to happen.

 

[Marseeya]

I think he is 15 and the GF just turned 17. Right?

Marseeya, I don't see how you did it with such a cool head. My DS and DD are still several years from that age and I just envision that I would be the wicked witch in a situation like that. You can't tell kids that age anything. I know, I was one.

Good luck and keep us posted.

You got it.

There's no cool head going on here. I was shaking and ready for a total breakdown by the time he got home. I'm exhausted right now and I've been trying to go to sleep, but I just keep lying there and getting angry all over again because I know my battle has just begun.

 

[kdibattista]

You got it.

There's no cool head going on here. I was shaking and ready for a total breakdown by the time he got home. I'm exhausted right now and I've been trying to go to sleep, but I just keep lying there and getting angry all over again because I know my battle has just begun.

Hang in there

P.S. Take a couple of Tylenol PM to help you sleep

 

[Planogirl]

Could I make a suggestion? Once you rest and simmer down, talk to him and make it clear that you still care. He's in a bad phase right now but he'll get out of it eventually. Meanwhile, you wouldn't want him rebelling in any worse manner like running away or something like that. (Do kids still run away?)

Again, I wish you well. It sounds like you have quite a handful there.

 

[Kimberly]

Wow... I really don't know what to say about this. I saw your post earlier today and I didn't get a chance to read the entire thread, which I just did now. At 15 years of age, there's no way he should be out partying all night. Granted I actually never had a curfew, but my parents always made sure of where I was at all possible times. I wasn't always truthful, being almost as secretive as your son and sometimes sneaking out.

If it was my son though, I wouldn't want for him to see this girl... but you cannot really tell a teenage boy that. You almost cannot tell any teenager anything, especially if it's related to someone they're infatuated with. Your son it seems has fallen in with the wrong crowd entirely, and I really hate to say it, but he needs to go to a boarding school or even a military school. Not really to shape up his act, but it seems that most of his actions were determined by this girl manipulating him. He won't like it, but it's probably the best thing to just get him away from your hometown for awhile, especially once summer hits. Those summer programs that other people mentioned seem to be perfect for him, giving him a reason to not go out and party all night... making him feel that he really can make a difference.

Wish you the best of luck, and I sincerely hope it's just a phase that will cut out shortly.

 

[donaldbuzz&minnie]

You've got to keep him healthy and alive until his brain can do the thinking for him instead of his body, so hang in there. It may take until he has kids of his own, but he'll thank you for it later. In the meantime, I hope you and your husband can do something really nice for yourselves this weekend. Can you tie the kid to a tree or something for a couple of hours so you can go out to dinner??? I've heard Rottweilers make good watchdogs.

 

[momrek06]

WOW, M: I just read through MOST of this THREAD....

Did the GF's mom actually give them beer and THINK that this was acceptable?

That to me is unbelieveable!

Forget the POLICE...get this GF's Mom on Dr. Phil and let HIM give her a good piece of HIS mind!

Then in front of MILLIONS of Americans maybe she will learn a lesson!!!

for the entire family. M : try to get some rest. Losing a night's sleep will set you back for a bit. Go and get all caught up before you are too rundown to even enjoy Easter.

 

[kilee]

I am so glad he came home safe and sound. First you want to hug them because they are okay- then kill them for what they put you through. Mine is just entering these years and I'm already dreading it. I was so upset for you earlier today, the just not knowing is rough.