Living by myself

[singingpixie]

Currently, I live in a 2 bedroom apartment with a roommate. I'm 24, she's 23. We each have a dog. For various reasons, our living situation isn't working out (dogs don't get along without very direct supervision, she's having a hard time financially, even though we're close in age we're at very different parts of our life socially, etc). We're fine for the term of the lease, but we're not going to renew.

She's decided she wants to live with her boyfriend, which is great for me because then I didn't have to have the "I know we're friends, but I don't want to live with you anymore after this year" conversation. So that hurdle is done. The way I see it, I have three options:

1) Have my boyfriend move in (or get a different two-bedroom with him, but that seems like unnecessary moving). This would be the easiest option, but he way or may not be able to swing it financially, since he is currently living with more roommates and the switch to only two sharing the bills is significant. Also, I don't want to make this decision lightly, just because my lease is up.

2) Get another roommate. There aren't any real candidates, as anyone I know that would need a roommate is still in the "recently out of college, still not ready to move on" stage, and I'd be in a similar situation to where I am now, minus the dog conflict.

3) Get a one-bedroom by myself. Financially, it'd be a little tougher, but if I moved a bit further from work (not prohibitively so, probably would add 10-15 mins each way to my commute) I could swing it. I've already cut a lot of extraneous spending (meals out, coffee at starbucks) from my budget and that would make up most of the additional rent/utilities/etc. I'd still be able to contribute to my 401k and put some money into savings, I just wouldn't have much extra.

Right now, option three looks best. Anyone have any thoughts about living on one's own for the first time? I'd strongly prefer to avoid a first-floor apartment. I wouldn't be alone all the time, since I'm sure my boyfriend would spend a few nights a week like he does now, and I do have the dog. This is the first time I've seriously considered living alone and I'm a little nervous.

 

[Darcy03231]

I'd go with option #3. I loved living on my own. It also gave me the confidence to know that no matter what happens I can live on my own and be self-supporting.

 

[Angelhalo]

I lived alone for 3 years after college before I met my current husband and we move to FL together and got married. I LOVED it. I hated having roomates. Living alone was sooo much better for me. My pets had their space and so did I. I could come and go at any hour without risking bugging someone, I didn't have to clean up after anyone or anyone after me. I love my husband but I will always treasure those years on my own in my apartment. Every decision was completely my own and it was glorious!

 

[staley7580]

When i was young and single.. I never wanted to live alone. It was way to scary for me. But I finally did it, and it was GREAT! If you can swing it, I say DO IT!! not having to deal with a room mate, or any of that.. Lovely. Plus you dont have to count on anyone else for the bills, or deal with any one elses mess. Shoot.. Im married with a gaggle of kids now, and sometimes I still wish I could live alone. J/K

 

[Cool-Beans]

If you can swing it, live alone.

 

[singingpixie]

Yeah, that's pretty much where I am. I've always had roommates, and my tolerance for mess has always been the least, so I'm constantly cleaning. That's not to say that my previous roommates have been awful, just that the person who has less tolerance for mess generally ends up cleaning. Between that and the dog, I've found myself hanging out in my bedroom rather than being in the living room... it's like being trapped sometimes, so it'd be nice to just have my own space.

 

[madcam]

If I were you I would def choose option 3. I would never choose to live with a significant other for financial reasons. You need to be really sure you are at that point in your relationship before you do that.......not just because he could slip into the ex-roommate's spot. Plus living by yourself is AWESOME!!! And once you get married and have kids......"by yourself" will never be an option again (not even in the bathroom)!!!

 

[mjkacmom]

After college, I lived with a gf for a couple of years, and then got my own place (DH, bf at the time, had 2 roommates). It was the best! I paid $600 a month for my 2 room apartment, and had my little dog, and it was ALL MINE (now, with DH and 5 kids, I wish I still had it! ). DH and I got engaged a few years later, and he moved in, and I had to share

I really miss my apartment...

 

[singingpixie]

Did you girls who lived alone at some point ever get freaked out alone in an apartment at night? I do fine when my roommate goes home for the weekend occasionally, but I worry that it might get scary longer-term.

 

[Angelhalo]

Did you girls who lived alone at some point ever get freaked out alone in an apartment at night? I do fine when my roommate goes home for the weekend occasionally, but I worry that it might get scary longer-term.

I was nervous at first. Any noise I heard from the front of the apartment, I was sure someone was breaking in. Even though I lived in a GREAT super safe area, I'd still think that. I started going to sleep with the tv set on a timer for 30 minutes turned down low. After a couple weeks I was fine and never really thought about it again.

 

[staley7580]

Did you girls who lived alone at some point ever get freaked out alone in an apartment at night? I do fine when my roommate goes home for the weekend occasionally, but I worry that it might get scary longer-term.

You will get used to it. I was bugged at first, but after a while its not a big deal.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Did you girls who lived alone at some point ever get freaked out alone in an apartment at night? I do fine when my roommate goes home for the weekend occasionally, but I worry that it might get scary longer-term.

I still get freaked out from time to time when I'm alone. It's normal. One thing I've done that makes me feel better is that I tied little group of bells to all the windows and to the bottoms of the doors. Anytime they are opened they jingle. We can't have an alarm system so I made up a cheap redneckish one.

I also sleep with a baseball bat beside the bed when alone. I state when alone because one night when my husband was back and I forgot he was at home while I was asleep I woke up when he was coming back from the bathroom and almost smacked him with the baseball bat. It now stays on his side of the bed lol.

Another thing I do, if it's late when coming home I always have someone on the phone when going in the house(which I've always left a light on) and look through the house. I also do not answer my door when it's someone I do not know and on the off chance I do answer it, I always have someoen on the phone with me when I do answer it.

 

[Angelhalo]

I still get freaked out from time to time when I'm alone. It's normal. One thing I've done that makes me feel better is that I tied little group of bells to all the windows and to the bottoms of the doors. Anytime they are opened they jingle. We can't have an alarm system so I made up a cheap redneckish one.

I also sleep with a baseball bat beside the bed when alone. I state when alone because one night when my husband was back and I forgot he was at home while I was asleep I woke up when he was coming back from the bathroom and almost smacked him with the baseball bat. It now stays on his side of the bed lol.

Another thing I do, if it's late when coming home I always have someone on the phone when going in the house(which I've always left a light on) and look through the house. I also do not answer my door when it's someone I do not know and on the off chance I do answer it, I always have someoen on the phone with me when I do answer it.

Yikes! Ok I was never that scared when I lived alone! LOL!

 

[lovemygoofy]

Yikes! Ok I was never that scared when I lived alone! LOL!

Yes, I understand it sounds like overkill but you would be suprised about the number of military families that are subjected to crimes violent and nonviolent especially during a deployment.

 

[Angelhalo]

Yes, I understand it sounds like overkill but you would be suprised about the number of military families that are subjected to crimes violent and nonviolent especially during a deployment.

Ahhh ok well that makes sense. I was not in any kind of military area.

 

[madcam]

I also made friends with my neighbors. We were mostly all college age kids and there was one group of guys that lived in a 3 bedroom across from me that really kept an eye on things for me. It helped me to know that I could call or run next door, upstairs or across the way for immediate help if I needed it.