It is times like this (June 2012) when I thank the Good Lord for never letting me learn to swim. No swimming, no pool = no swim suit or other such attire. Except that one time at River Country back in 1982 when my kids (ages 8 & 9) convinced me that the big loopy loop, tunnel slide was not really
that high. T-shirt (only a non-thinking, no swimmer wears a white T Shirt in the water), cut off jeans and down the slide I went flying off the end because no one mentioned that if you keep your arms across your chest and head down you go faster...
When I bounced up for air, desperately trying to find the yellow rope buoy, nearly praying out loud....the T-shirt went to my neck, jeans stretched and began to fall....with one hand holding both at the waist, eventually found that darn buoy, ready to make my way around to the pool steps. Only every idiot nearby decides it's grand fun to pull on the buoy every 10 seconds...down I go under the water...up...down...up....down...finally all the way around only to see the steps on the other side!!! I don't swim, don't dog paddle, don't float. Think sink. No idea how I made it to the steps without drowning or the lifeguards blowing that whistle as they do so well.
Nope...no pool, no swimming....but you will find me on the sidelines, happily waving while enjoying an adult beverage or two...or three...