I second that thought.
A good friend (who sadly left me and moved to Vancouver-Have a good trip by the way) lent me the phrase "That doesn't work for me."
She had been using it for a while to combat the superwoman syndrome. It took me a while to work up the courage to use it. Even though it feels much gentler than "NO" it was still hard to make my mouth form it. I'm getting better and better at it.
The other phrase I like I borrowed from a website called flylady. The fly stands for finally loving yourself. Her motto was progress not perfection.
Jeff and I were talking about this last night, specifically relating to Evan's upcoming school auction and whether I'll get roped into playing Vanna White again or whether I'll be able to sit at our table and enjoy the night out with our friends.
He did make the comment, "you won't say no" to which I responded, I say no all the time...you just only see the results of the yesses.
Saying no is hard. It takes practice. It keeps one sane. And ultimately, people respect no. I would much rather have someone tell me, honestly, that they couldn't do something than say yes and not give it their all.
I truly do think that it is something that grows on you, with you as we ourselves "grow up" and give up the visions we had of ourselves, making peace (and liking!) who we really ware. All I have to say is this. If this is middle age...bring it on!
Beautiful thoughts ladies!! It is definitely a freeing thing to come to a place where one can admit that we've all been created uniquely to excel at different things- often times not the same things as our friends and acquaintances. I don't have to work in the corporate world- I don't think I'd be very good at it, and have zere desire; and by the same token, I would never expect my friend to bake homemade bread and scrapbook, she's just not made that way. All we can do is the best we can at the things we've been created to do well, and please Him. I know, a lot of doctrine thrown in, but it can be seen in this light.
Missed you this evening. Hope to catch you online soon!
I had a date with my hubby!
I have found the last 2 years very eyeopening. Corporate life is something that just kind of happened to me, it was never a plan. And yet for whatever reason some people really thought that was "who" I was. Perhaps because I was there so long, perhaps because I truly had passion for my work, who knows.
When I was laid off many around me completely freaked out. As if they thought without that I had nothing, that I'd lost my identity. Which made me really sad. It did make me realize very very clearly that I cannot control how people see me. Which was oddly freeing. Goes back to that killing yourself thing and when you stop, no one notices but you. People do have preconceived notions. The difference is I no longer have any desire to influence what those may be!
Sometimes figuring out just what it is we have been created to do well is a challenge and where I certainly find myself lifting it up for guidance.
Hey there.
Wonderful, wonderful last chapter. A combination of what's best about childhood and worst about it as well. Having to grow up too fast, and things being thrust on us that aren't fair but there's no help for. And look at the woman you've become because of all your experiences.
I just want you to know that I admire you. I'm fully aware of the detrimental quality we all have to wish we were more, better, the unattainable whatever. It's getting past that and being the best me or you there is that makes the world really go round.
Thanks for reminding me that.
The feeling is mutual my friend.
I think the trick is catching ourselves when we go down that slippery slope. As the holidays approach it is trickier than ever to not only get past it, but stay past it, realize when we are slipping and catch ourselves.
As for childhood, yes. We want so badly to protect our children from all that we went through and the reality is you just can't protect them from everything. There will be pivotal moments that might be bad. They will define your children in ways you cannot imagine. If I learned anything from my parents it was not to minimize those, but to try to provide balance and a counterpoint. To show the good and that the good will always be there to support you, to help you stand up but that each of us needs to find our own path and make our own mistakes. Allowing our children to do that, but with unconditional love and support. I truly believe it is this that has made my family what it is today.
Everyone has "stuff". Walt knew that. Bambi loses his mother, Simba his father. The Dalmatians are kidnapped. Bad stuff happens. To everyone whether we see it or or not. Life goes on. I'm so glad it does!
I have only read the first post but it was really well written and thought provoking. You have a way with words. Off to catch up! 
hug:Jordy) What a great lady your stepmom is. Today it has been 4 months since my mom died. I hope that I can be that kind of mom to my kids. The one who makes memories. You are a great writer.
