Let me have your honest opinion! Re: finances and husband

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Well joint and cosigned debt the survivor already themselves agreed to pay. No debt that survivors didn't already agree to pay passes on.

Yeah that is true. I was just speaking to the "Any unpaid debt is forgiven. Heirs do not have to pay off those debts" comment because that actually depends on what the debt is. Not all debt is forgiven and in community property states certain debt for spouses will not be forgiven even if it isn't joint or co-signed.

 

[robinb]

Yeah that is true. I was just speaking to the "Any unpaid debt is forgiven. Heirs do not have to pay off those debts" comment because that actually depends on what the debt is. Not all debt is forgiven and in community property states certain debt for spouses will not be forgiven even if it isn't joint or co-signed.

In @manning's defense, she was responding to a comment about leaving debt for your KIDS, not your spouse.

What kind of life is saving and paying what you owe? The kind that doesn't leave your relatives having to pay your bills when you are old or dead. But you leave your debts and money problems to your kids all you want, just don't

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

In @manning's defense, she was responding to a comment about leaving debt for your KIDS, not your spouse.

Yeah I know and my comment is still valid. It depends on what kind of debt it is. Not all joint or co-signed debt is between spouses. I gave the example of my student loan debt with my mom but there are other kinds of debt too. You could still be leaving your debt to your kids (if they are your heirs) if they are joint or co-signed debt in which case that is not all debt that would be forgiven. Sure you may agree to the debt if it's a joint or co-signed but that still is 'money problems' you may be leaving your kids if the estate cannot take care of it all-it would not be just "forgiven".

 

[Skippy918]

When my Fil died, Mil didn’t have to pay off his credit card debt. She was not a co-signer on his cards.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

When my Fil died, Mil didn’t have to pay off his credit card debt. She was not a co-signer on his cards.

If she wasn't a co-signer on his debt then no she wouldn't be responsible for his credit card debt. Authorized users also are not responsible for debt. For common property states for credit cards I'm not sure if that falls under forgiven or not forgiven.

 

[Skippy918]

If she wasn't a co-signer on his debt then no she wouldn't be responsible for his credit card debt. Authorized users also are not responsible for debt. For common property states for credit cards I'm not sure if that falls under forgiven or not forgiven.

She is in a community property state.

 

[DisneyDebbie]

I always enjoy these type of threads, and I always feel like I have to reply in them. I guess I'm in the minority here, in that I'm very happily married, but have separate finances. We've been married 18 years and have two children. We have separate checking accounts and a joint savings. Before kids we split things more evenly, then we sat down and refigured the bills as I was going to be working part-time. It has been easy for us, but we both have similar financial goals and lifestyle choices. I'm gonna be honest, I really don't want to know how much he spends on collectibles (right now he's in a funko pop phase). As I'm sure he doesn't want to know how much I've been spending on our boys sneakers. As long as you're both financially responsible, it really doesn't matter as much as some of you seem to think.

 

[DawnM]

It’s interesting that you say that since it appears that the OP got into debt helping her parents and in-laws. FWIW, once you’re dead the estate pays as much as it can. Your kids are not obligated to pay anything at all and if there isn’t enough to go around to pay all your debts ... oh well!

Also, I disagree with your definition of ‘discretionary’. There is no law or even moral code that says one needs to pay every penny they can to debt. Sure, it’s a good idea but as long as you are making your agreed payments whatever you have left over can be considered ‘discretionary’.

But I didn't make up the definition. So, if you disagree, it isn't with me.

The OP said she "paid off" her $35K debt with more mortgage loans. That is just moving your debt to a new location, it isn't paying it off, but, whatever.

 

[robinb]

But I didn't make up the definition. So, if you disagree, it isn't with me.

The OP said she "paid off" her $35K debt with more mortgage loans. That is just moving your debt to a new location, it isn't paying it off, but, whatever.

I admit that I didn't bother to read the definition of "discretionary income" you provided because I took you on your word that it supported when you said:

I didn't say no spending, but if we are talking about large dollar amounts ($35,000 in spending of discretionary funds she DID NOT HAVE!) Or a $10,000+ plastic surgery that is elective......

Discretionary means the amount of money you can spend AFTER everything else is paid. It is LEFT OVER money. I don't make this stuff up:

I just went back and read the definition from the link and I was surprised that it doesn't say ANYTHING about debt!

It says:

The amount of an individual's income available for spending after the essentials (such as food, clothing, and shelter) have been taken care of.

Read more: http://www.investorwords.com/1483/discretionary_income.html#ixzz52CTBNApU

So, yeah, we are in agreement and I can get behind that definition too .

I believe that our real disagreement is how she spends her discretionary funds. I don't want to put words in your mouth, so please correct me if I'm wrong. I think you believe that she should take the bonus and pay down her debt with it. I think that as long as she's making her agreed debt payments then the bonus is her's to spend as she wishes. Now, I also do believe that making minimum payments for debt (especially credit card debt!) is foolish because it you're trying to dig yourself out of a hole with a teaspoon. Moving the debt into her home was a smart thing because now she has a specific payment schedule that she can follow with a real end date.

 

[DawnM]

I admit that I didn't bother to read the definition of "discretionary income" you provided because I took you on your word that it supported when you said:




I just went back and read the definition from the link and I was surprised that it doesn't say ANYTHING about debt!

It says:


So, yeah, we are in agreement and I can get behind that definition too .

I believe that our real disagreement is how she spends her discretionary funds. I don't want to put words in your mouth, so please correct me if I'm wrong. I think you believe that she should take the bonus and pay down her debt with it. I think that as long as she's making her agreed debt payments then the bonus is her's to spend as she wishes. Now, I also do believe that making minimum payments for debt (especially credit card debt!) is foolish because it you're trying to dig yourself out of a hole with a teaspoon. Moving the debt into her home was a smart thing because now she has a specific payment schedule that she can follow with a real end date.

I think we also disagree on what is discretionary. To me, paying off consumer loans is the smart thing to do, and extending your mortgage for things that should have waited until she had the cash in the first place is not best practice.

Anyway, the OP asked for opinions, and that one is mine.