Leaving Your Toddler Behind

[Eliza'sMom]

I don't think you're going to scar her either way, so you should do whatever you think is best. It's obviously a different situation since you have an older child, but our daughter's first trip was when she was 20 months and I will never forget it. She was in heaven and it was easily the best trip we had ever taken. Of course, it was also the first time we'd ever taken our child to Disney, so it was bound to be special. But I wouldn't trade that trip for the world.

Columbus to Orlando is basically a two-hour flight. We took our 5-month-old from CMH to MCO, with connections, on our last trip and she did great. With a toddler, it's basically long enough for snacks (or a meal, if it's around mealtime) during takeoff, a show or two on the portable DVD player and a few special new toys/sticker books/Magnadoodle and another snack and you're there. If you don't take the carseat, she can just sit in the regular seat, which my DD always got a kick out of. It's four hours of your trip. I'm not sure I'd base my decision primarily on that.

 

[auprincess]

Sorry. But I have to address this. Doing things when your child is very young is not about their memories. It is about their reaction to stimuli and YOUR memories. Question: When your child turned one year old, did you have a party for him/her? Did you invite the relatives? Put a candle on a cake? When your child celebrated their first Christmas (if you celebrate), did you make a big deal of it? Buy more presents than was rational? Take an hour of video (digital) recordings? If the answer to any of this is "yes", did you ever once stop to consider what your child would remember? Or did you do it because you knew that your toddler would giggle and smile and you would have a lifetime of memories? Thought so.

OP: You do what you think is best. A forum board of Disney fanatics is not the best place to seek comfort when you decide to leave one of your children at home.

Sorry to get off topic ~ but I love this and am going to remember it when I get the million questions of "you're going to Disney again?" and "why do you bother taking them ~ they won't remember."

 

[cheshireqt]

Awww, Mommy guilt. You made a decision based on a set of factors, if those still hold then stick to your plan and push the negative thoughts away. If the factors aren't still important then reassess.

If you don't take her, of course you will have moments where you will miss you her terribly and wish she was with you and start beating yourself up all over again for leaving her behind. Although, there will also be moments where you will be happy with your decision, like when even with ADR it takes an hour and a half to be seated and the service is terrible and costs you another hour and a half (ahem Mama Melrose I am still not happy with you ).

Just something to add to the consideration. If you do take her, you and DH will have to split up some and divide attention and time, however with baby swap your son will get to ride the ride again without standing in the long queue. First with one parent and then with the other. Very few rides are for 3 people in a row anyway so it could double his fun and you each still have time with just him on rides.
Final consideration, when the trip is over and the pictures are compiled will you be happy you had the time with just your son, or will you feel regret that she is not in the pictures?

 

[lynypixie]

I would never even consider going to Disney world without one of my kids.
A weekend in NYC, maybe, but Disney world? It's everyone or nothing.

Of course, if you go every years, that is one thing, but if vacations are rare, I think the whole family should enjoy, even the little ones.

Of course, you don't do as much, and you need to adapt, but in my mind, that's how a family works.

 

[franluvsbubba]

Sorry. But I have to address this. Doing things when your child is very young is not about their memories. It is about their reaction to stimuli and YOUR memories. Question: When your child turned one year old, did you have a party for him/her? Did you invite the relatives? Put a candle on a cake? When your child celebrated their first Christmas (if you celebrate), did you make a big deal of it? Buy more presents than was rational? Take an hour of video (digital) recordings? If the answer to any of this is "yes", did you ever once stop to consider what your child would remember? Or did you do it because you knew that your toddler would giggle and smile and you would have a lifetime of memories? Thought so.

OP: You do what you think is best. A forum board of Disney fanatics is not the best place to seek comfort when you decide to leave one of your children at home.

I totally agree w/ Jimmy V. Dis is so magical and is such a kid place I could never imagine leaving my child at home because it would be a little bit inconvenient. As far as the whole remembering thing, that doesn't make any sense. As Jimmy said, we do lots of things for our children before they can remember. Just think of the great stories you can tell her when she is old enough to remember. And as far as not remembering, we first went to Dis when my youngest was 2. She loved it so much and talked about it constantly back at home. That's when I decided to begin going twice a year. But as always, you have to do what's best for your own family.

 

[party-of-five]

Final consideration, when the trip is over and the pictures are compiled will you be happy you had the time with just your son, or will you feel regret that she is not in the pictures?

This!
Personally, I couldn't leave one of the kids behind. My kids couldn't/wouldn't want to leave a sibling behind. Yes, bringing a little one requires extra patience and more work. But, IMHO, it is so worth it to have fun and make memories together as a family.

 

[Bev J]

As a mom of 4 and also a daycare provider I will tell you that your daughter will be just fine. It will be harder on you than on her. She will have her regular routine and be with people who love her. I have taken care of some of my daycare kids while their parents have gone on vacation and they did just fine.
Your 8 yr old will feel very special that he can ride all the rides and get special time with mom and dad. When your daughter is a little older take her on a vacation with the family, she will never know what she missed at the age she is now.
We went on vacation a few times w/o our kids and they stayed with a special Aunt or Grandma and had a good time. Yes they were happy to see us when we got home and of course we got them something special from WDW.
Don't feel guilty, enjoy your trip!

 

[juliebug1997]

Don't feel bad about it--go and have fun!

 

[mommytocalliesue]

Last year we left our 20 month son home! I just knew it wouldn't be fun for anyone if he went! It was what was best for us! Now this year...we took him...and while we had some "instances" he loved it!!

Enjoy your trip!!!!

 

[Manders77]

You know your family, do what you feel is best. Me, I couldn't do it. Disney vacations are for the entire family. Now if it was a cruise (non Disney) or something like that, maybe. But never Disney.

When I was young i was left home because I wasn't tall enough for the roller coasters at Cedar Point. Mind you I was 13 at that time. Never liked that experience. But my parents were fair, so once I was tall enough, my older brother had to stay home a couple times. It was only one day but I could never do that to my kids, regardless of age, height.

We want to go on a Disney Cruise, but we are waiting for my DS to be 3 to go to kids club and tall enough for the Aqua Duck. I could not leave him at home while we took our DD.

 

[KellyNY]

I see you got some a bit judgemental responses. Listen, you deserve to have a little break from diapers, formulas and all the screaming. Your DD will not remember you were away and she will not remember trip if you take her, maybe some very bright memories but this is all. Do not feel guilty, you will take her when she is a bit older. Kids reaction is priceless at 2, 3, 4,.. you got the point. You have older kid on whom you can concentrate now because when you take her you will have to work on keeping different age/height kids happy at the same time. Be prepared to miss her every moment, and be prepared to spend a lot of time on a phone with her. So my advice, go and have fun, do not feel guilty, watch Sex And The City 2, there is a priceless scene about moms being tired and feeling guilty because of that, no need. You know what is better for you and do not let anyone make you feel bad because of that.

 

[k3mommy]

My oldest is 8 yrs old as well, and my youngest will be 19 months when we go in Nov. I can honestly say that the thought of leaving him home has never crossed my mind. Would he be OK with grandparents? Probably. But he is just as important in our vacation as everyone else. I know I would constantly be thinking "I bet Kaeson would LOVE this!" And I can't imagine looking back at pictures when he's say, 4, and explaining he isn't in the pics because it was more convenient to leave him behind. But, this isn't about what works for my family. You need to do what works best for your family. Every family is different.

 

[minnie mum]

Go and have a nice trip. Relax. Enjoy a week free of diapers and melt downs. Even Mommies of toddlers are allowed a holiday. Your dd will forget all about you as soon as the car is out of sight and I'm sure she'll be just fine since she'll be maintaining her usual routine. Appease any guilty conscience by getting her a nice Duffy or stuffed Minnie. She will have lots of trips to WDW in the future that she will actually remember because she's old enough.
Have fun. You're allowed.

 

[chloe4ever]

Sorry. But I have to address this. Doing things when your child is very young is not about their memories. It is about their reaction to stimuli and YOUR memories.

This!

It is so annoying and wrong when people only focus on the kids memories, "Oh, they cannot remember this......" It is NOT about that. It is about taking babies/young kids to MANY places. New places. Loud places. Places filled with stimuli. It is SO important.

 

[themilesfamily]

I think if it were me, I'd take the two year old, but get some in-room child care for one or two nights and take the 8-year old out to the parks. That would cover all the bases for me -- no guilt at leaving younger child at home, 8-year old gets some special alone time with mom and dad and gets to hit the rides. Everybody is happy.

The reason I'm pro-taking toddlers is some of the rides and character meet-and-greets are great stimulation for their growing and developing brains. (As long as you don't overdo it!) Also, you will get some of the cutest pics with the kids at Disney at this age. We really cherish the photos we have of DD when she was little, with the characters.

But OP, whatever you decide to do will be, I'm sure, just fine.

 

[kerri0616]

I'm on your side, OP.

We left our 1 year old home and took our 4 year old many, many years ago. I suppose many people would disagree, but I have a "rule of 4." I wouldn't travel with a child under 4. Changing diapers, dealing with fussy toddlers who don't eat, and having the day revolve around the little one's nap schedule was too much for us.

Please do what's right for you and don't feel guilty. My younger son was not damaged in any way. It's nice to get to spend one-on-one time with the elder since the toddlers often demand more attention.

Have fun!

K

 

[gator girl]

My coworker and her husband took the 5yo and left their toddler at home with grandma. They had a wonderful, very special time with their firstborn, and toddler was juuuuuuust fine.

 

[jessc79]

Just wanted to throw it out there that the baby swap helps me and DH each get time with DS9 one-on-one. It's special unique time and he gets to ride everything twice. The same us true for all the tamer rides with DS16 mos.

My 16 year old step son can't come with us every year. Sometimes I feel guilty but you just have to do what works for you.

Just want you to know that going with a toddler is fun . Even the plane isn't bad if you plan ahead! To be honest both DSs have their moments when they drive me nuts and I wish I were alone on an island!

 

[MuseumMouse]

Wow, there are some harsh responses here.

YOU know your child better than anyone. YOU know whether she is ready to handle a Disney trip and all that comes with it, including the travel. If you feel it will be more stressful than enjoyable for everyone involved, then stick to your original plan. Your child will be fine and I agree with those who say it will be harder on you than on her.

We have postponed our daugter's first Disney trip twice now waiting until we felt she was ready to handle it because she has also had some particularly "terrible" twos. I finally feel like our upcoming trip will be one that is worthwhile for everyone. She will be a little over 3 when we go, but I think we are all more ready than we would have been when she was younger. For others, it's very differnt. It depends on the kid.

We left our DD home at 8 months when we went to Disneyland (a trip we had been planning since well before she was born) and also left her with Grandma when we had to travel for a non-Disney trip when she was 23 months because we felt the stress of her havig to handle the travel at that age would be more stress than enjoyment for both her and us.

Do what you feel in your heart is right for you and your family.

 

[jtowntoflorida]

If you have a very fussy toddler like some described in this thread, by all means, leave them at home. But our 22 month old had not one meltdown on the entire week-long trip last year. We took mid-day breaks, so accommodating his nap schedule wasn't that big of a deal. He was a trooper and loved pretty much everything. He loved meeting the princesses, had a fabulous time with Cinderella's stepsisters, and we have an unforgettable memory of a game of tag between him, his sister, and Donald Duck. Even if he won't remember it, OUR memories of both of our kids from that trip are priceless. The airplane ride wasn't that big of a deal--he was fascinated by that, too. I can't imagine trying to explain to a "left behind" child who grows up a bit and sees that he's not in the pictures from the trip, and telling him that he was too much of a pain to deal with on the trip, so we left him at home.

But, like I said, my kid is pretty easy-going and agreeable, so YMMV.