Leaving a child on the boat while the rest of the family is in port

[Tonka's Skipper]

The only time I've ever been delayed getting out was due to an excursion coming back from St. John...we waited 2 hours for them before we left. There were about 30 folks on that boat.

Maybe there's a size limit?

I agree, the number of people would likely make a difference! The amount of time to the next point IE if its not far away, they can wait longer.

I was only pointing out that Disney has to option of leaving and then paying to fly you to the next port.

AKK

 

[KLK622]

Every parent has to make their own choice.........As I said, we would not leave our young children on the ship and go ashore!

When it comes to ships......nothing is guaranteed, just to many things can happen!


AKK

I agree with you that nothing is guaranteed and that everybody should do what works for their family in regards to leaving or not leaving a child on a ship...just pointing out that IF somebody chooses to book an excursion it might be best to use judgement in minimizing the risk of missing the boat when selecting an excursion.

 

[Moxin]

I agree, the number of people would likely make a difference! The amount of time to the next point IE if its not far away, they can wait longer.

I was only pointing out that Disney has to option of leaving and then paying to fly you to the next port.

AKK

Methinks the castmembers might want to iterate that then...they always tell us that if we book a DCL excursion, the boat waits.

 

[Tonka's Skipper]

I agree with you that nothing is guaranteed and that everybody should do what works for their family in regards to leaving or not leaving a child on a ship...just pointing out that IF somebody chooses to book an excursion it might be best to use judgement in minimizing the risk of missing the boat when selecting an excursion.

Makes sense to me!

 

[Tonka's Skipper]

Methinks the castmembers might want to iterate that then...they always tell us that if we book a DCL excursion, the boat waits.

Do you really think they would hold the ship to the point that they make everyone at the next port late or miss their excursion? Or if the next port was the debarkation port.....miss their flights?

It would not be the first time a CM was wrong!

Anyway the choice is up to you!

What ever you do, I hope you have a great cruise!

AKK

 

[Four Swampers]

Maybe I am a horrible parent, or maybe I just do not know proper etiquette, but should I be ashamed because I leave my 8 year old on the ship playing while the rest of us look at museums and other things that he finds boring?

As a pediatrician, I think this is fine. I may not do it myself, but I have no problem with your decision. I have no doubt that you will come back to the ship early because you know you don't want the ship to leave without you. Also, I have no problem with your son doing something he enjoys while you do something you enjoy.

A lot of people post "what ifs." "What ifs," frankly, are of little value. "What if" you bring your son with you and get into a car accident and he gets horribly hurt? "What if" your son comes with you and breaks his wrist in a fall walking down the street? "What if" bandits appear and start shooting everyone and your son is with you? All of these are possible, as are all of the "what ifs" if you leave your son behind.

Rather than "what if," I prefer to look at "what is," or at least what is extremely likely. In this case, we have thousands and thousands of data points. For the Disney Magic alone, if we assume an average of 2500 passengers a week for 52 weeks a year for 15 years, we come up with 1.9 milion passengers. Assuming only one third of those were children, that leaves 600,000 children who have been through the kids' clubs without a fire, without the ship sinking, and without any problem that the cast members couldn't handle. NOTE: I am sure we can find a couple of cases where something bad happened. You don't need to point them out to me. One recent well mentioned case on the boards did not involve the kids' clubs. Anyhow, I am talking about the 600,000 data points on the Magic alone that say time and time again you can safely go to the kids club.

Again, the "what if" something happens to you when you are off the ship can easily be changed to "what if" something happens to your son while he is off the ship with you. So do what is right for your family.

 

[usd2bmd]

The reason we cruise as a family is to do things together as a family. I guess the question this brings to mind is why take the kids if they will not participate in the port exploring?

You choose a cruise as a family vacation and choose it based on the ports. Why not just leave the kids with relatives at home?

 

[k3chantal]

I probably wouldn't leave my son onboard without me as he's quite shy in new situations and both him and I would feel more relaxed knowing I'm nearby. However, as a full time working mum who's had her son in some kind of childcare from the age of 6 months, I am in no position to pass judgements on those parents who do it.

IMO, cruiselines wouldn't provide this as an option if the chances of something bad happening were high. Remember that the media and people on forums don't report the thousands of incidents that happen without issue - just the one or two that do.

I don't think you can worry about things such as fires as by this reasoning you'd never send your kids to pre-school, school, or any place where they are being looked after in a building. I am also confused by the argument about crime in Nassau as I would much prefer my son was onboard having fun without me than standing beside me witnessing a crime.

However, I do understand the concerns regarding being late to the ship and I agree that picking an outing that arrives back anywhere near the time the ship is due to depart is, IMO, not a good idea. Nor would I risk picking an excursion that was miles and miles away e.g. on another island. However, in such an unfortunate (yet rare) situation, I like to believe that the crew on the ship would do a pretty good job of caring for your child. In some ways I think the trauma would be worse for the parents than the child.

Well said.

There is an element for me that I feel my kids are safer on the ship than in port. I also want them to know that the world won't end if they don't see me for a few hours ( I am a stay at home mother) and that they know that I wouldn't take unreasonable risks with my life but that these experiences are important to my adult relationship with my husband. (married 20 years this July!)

I also feel that bad things happen everywhere and as long you have considered the risks and they are within reason, such as a planned port excursion through Disney, decisions like these are fine.

 

[k3chantal]

The reason we cruise as a family is to do things together as a family. I guess the question this brings to mind is why take the kids if they will not participate in the port exploring?

You choose a cruise as a family vacation and choose it based on the ports. Why not just leave the kids with relatives at home?

Just because I don't spend every second with my kids while on a cruise does not make it less than a 'family trip".
I don't leave my children at home because we do take them on some excursions AND they have a blast on the ship. Disney is truly masterful in creating experiences that can be for just the kids, the family or just the adults.

I think being able to come together as a family at times and then being able to participate in different activities for each person in my family IS what makes a cruise a fantastic vacation.

This is also how we do amusement park visits. Sometimes the whole family is together and other times we split up by interests or need. My 13 and 10 year old sons would be very disappointed if they was stuck in Fantasyland all day with their 3 year old sister and she would be equally annoyed if she was stuck waiting for them to ride the roller coasters since she is not tall enough.

What is annoying about this thread is the sense that those people who wouldn't leave their kids aboard feel that they should judge those of us who feel comfortable doing so. My children actually enjoyed their time away from their parents and recognized it as a gift and recognition that we feel they are "mature" enough to handle it.

 

[Jey12]

I wouldn't think poorly of anyone who wanted to leave their child on the ship while they went on an excursion. I say whatever you are comfortable with. I wanted to say it would be a good time to teach your child how to learn to enjoy things they may think are boring, but then I remembered it's vacation! Why can't the kid do something they want to do. They can learn those things at home.

I personally could not do it. Only because I would be in a foreign country and you never know what can come up. Of course I have left my child at a sitter, gym class, school and many other places while I go and do other things, but I can always be reached. I would not feel comfortable not being able to be reached if something happened. Our last trip when DD was 5 we left her at Scuttle's Cove on CC while DH and I went to Serenity Bay for an hour. I left my bag on the beach while we did a bit of exploring of the water and came back to find I had been paged that DD wanted us to come back. I felt horrible because it had been 30 mins since they sent the page. This was before the wave phones. When we got there to pick her up, she was exhausted, sitting alone and crying under a tree. Broke my heart. It also was my only complaint about Disney child care. I felt like she should have been up at the front desk or something. But of course I can't say they hadn't just walked away from her seconds before we showed up. It was just the image of my little one sitting in the corner of the play area, crying and alone. Next trip DD will be 8 and I will feel much better about leaving her at CC. Then she'll be old enough I can tell her we'll be back in an hour. Unless you're on fire don't have me paged.

 

[Jey12]

The reason we cruise as a family is to do things together as a family. I guess the question this brings to mind is why take the kids if they will not participate in the port exploring?

You choose a cruise as a family vacation and choose it based on the ports. Why not just leave the kids with relatives at home?

I don't see it as much different than sending your kid to the clubs while you do wine tasting or go to the spa. Only difference is you're going on an excursion off the ship. For me that's the deal breaker, but for others they may be perfectly comfortable with it. If we all spent every minute together on and off the ship I'm not so sure we'd all make it back.

 

[southerngirl528]

Well said, K3chantal!

And a big thank you to Fourswampers for your input as a pediatrician.

I have always been a very protective mom raising my 3, but I think it is very important that kids see their parents putting importance on their relationship together too. And sometimes that means leaving my children with trusted & proven childcare for 3 or 4 hours while we have "grown-up" time.

 

[baleeve]

Ooh boy, its getting stressful in here. Breathe! Stay on the POINT.

I don't think anyone questions whether parents and children can spend time apart however this is a unique situation. You are in a foreign land and that comes with its own precautions. If your children are on the ship and you are not there is a risk associated with leaving them. I don't think anyone here can't deny that fact.

But to generalize the question as if the variables were different isn't fair to the original poster!

 

[NY Disney fan]

What is annoying about this thread is the sense that those people who wouldn't leave their kids aboard feel that they should judge those of us who feel comfortable doing so.

Maybe you are imagining or projecting that "sense of judgement" from others. The people who are not supportive are merely asking the OP to think very carefully before deciding. My child is very precious to me (and I'm sure the OP's is to her/him) so I don't take this lightly.

 

[ChrizJen]

I wouldn't, but mostly because I work full time, and I just feel like I don't ever get to spend enough time with my DD. So I look at vacation as the time we can get caught up on family time! I figure she's probably going to want to spend a fair amount of time in the club. I'll get my "adult time" then.

But I would certainly not look down upon someone for doing an adults-only excursion. If your child is happier playing on the ship, then I say go for it! It's their vacation too! That way everyone gets to enjoy the time. No one's bored (and no one has to put up with a whiny kid!)
And I agree with Four Swampers...I'm sure you'll plan ahead and make sure you're back on the ship well before all aboard time.

 

[jenf22]

As a pediatrician, I think this is fine. I may not do it myself, but I have no problem with your decision. I have no doubt that you will come back to the ship early because you know you don't want the ship to leave without you. Also, I have no problem with your son doing something he enjoys while you do something you enjoy.

A lot of people post "what ifs." "What ifs," frankly, are of little value. "What if" you bring your son with you and get into a car accident and he gets horribly hurt? "What if" your son comes with you and breaks his wrist in a fall walking down the street? "What if" bandits appear and start shooting everyone and your son is with you? All of these are possible, as are all of the "what ifs" if you leave your son behind.

Rather than "what if," I prefer to look at "what is," or at least what is extremely likely. In this case, we have thousands and thousands of data points. For the Disney Magic alone, if we assume an average of 2500 passengers a week for 52 weeks a year for 15 years, we come up with 1.9 milion passengers. Assuming only one third of those were children, that leaves 600,000 children who have been through the kids' clubs without a fire, without the ship sinking, and without any problem that the cast members couldn't handle. NOTE: I am sure we can find a couple of cases where something bad happened. You don't need to point them out to me. One recent well mentioned case on the boards did not involve the kids' clubs. Anyhow, I am talking about the 600,000 data points on the Magic alone that say time and time again you can safely go to the kids club.

Again, the "what if" something happens to you when you are off the ship can easily be changed to "what if" something happens to your son while he is off the ship with you. So do what is right for your family.

As an engineer, I absolutely love when someone gives me statistics. As a parent, even the tiniest odds of something happening to my child is enough to sway me. When our son was an infant, he kept getting his legs stuck in the slats of his crib. He would wake up several times a night screaming because he was stuck. We debated it and then decided we were sleep deprived enough to put in bumper pads. That lasted about 10 minutes before I went in and pulled them out again. It didn't matter how many millions of babies slept with bumper pads and were fine. All that mattered was the one story I read about a baby suffocating in them. You could probably make the same case for car seats, seat belts, putting an infant to sleep on their back, etc. It's not just cruises - but what are the odds anything bad is going to happen at any given time? Extremely low, I would imagine. I guess it's how you deal with the odds. My son is 6 and I still won't leave him in the house alone to get the mail. And that's only 3 houses away.

Now that our son is 6, we feel it is important for him to get out and see new places. If we asked him what he wanted to do, it would be to sit and watch TV, build Legos, or play video games. Our 6-year old neighbor was telling me just yesterday how "awesome" his after school program was. Turns out it's "awesome" because they get to Play Wii, Xbox, or watch TV. I know there are structured activities in the clubs, but if they elect not to do those activities, aren't they left staring at a TV or playing video games? My kid can do that at home. I would hate to tell my child someday we took him to Rome and left him on the ship. But that's just my opinion. That's the great thing about parenting - every parent and every child is different. Different things work for different people.

 

[ChrizJen]

The reason we cruise as a family is to do things together as a family. I guess the question this brings to mind is why take the kids if they will not participate in the port exploring?

You choose a cruise as a family vacation and choose it based on the ports. Why not just leave the kids with relatives at home?

That seems like quite a leap...
The OP is talking about one excursion at one port of call...maybe 2-3 hours?
Do you mean to tell me that when you take a cruise with your family, there is never a window of about 2-3 hours when everyone is off "doing their own thing"?

 

[k3chantal]

Maybe you are imagining or projecting that "sense of judgement" from others. The people who are not supportive are merely asking the OP to think very carefully before deciding. My child is very precious to me (and I'm sure the OP's is to her/him) so I don't take this lightly.

As mine are to me too. But it is just these kinds of statements "my child is very precious to me" that make it more than just imagining the sense of judgement. It is very easy to read between the lines.

Believe me, I didn't take it lightly making this decision when I made it. It was and will be (in future cruises) carefully thought out.

 

[cruisinaz]

Maybe I am a horrible parent, or maybe I just do not know proper etiquette, but should I be ashamed because I leave my 8 year old on the ship playing while the rest of us look at museums and other things that he finds boring?

When my daughter was 4.. we had planned on taking her in to every port with us.. but she fell in love with the kids program so much, one day we left her on the ship. We got back in ample time as I was fearful of being left on the island and the ship sailing off without me (LOL).

Enjoy your vacation, your child will be having a blast too!

 

[acamechis]

Yup we do! Don't feel guilty at all. DH and I take one day where we can go out and do Adult only excursions. For example this time we are doing the Tacos and Tequila. We pour everyone once into our DS on the cruise so having one day just us is nice. I understand why some people who be freaked out incase something happened. But that's why we only do disney excursion of we don't take DS. disney policy is if your on one of there excursions and its late they WiLL hold the ship. Ou can look it up on their site if you like. It's up to each family to make this decision