Lady Tremaine Terrified My Daughter..What to do?

[TenderDonkey]

Here is what my mom told me when I got scared at a haunted house: Toughen up. It’s just a person playing a part. Followed up with a do you think I would let someone hurt you? Ending with we will leave and never come back.

 

[momof2inmn]

Today my family got great curb seats on Main Street for the 3p parade. As Lady Tremaine paraded closer to us, my DD6 got scared asked if we could go home. I recognized what was going down so I calmly explained that if she just looked away that the character would recognize that she was uncomfortable with her and walk on by us...not so! She noticed my daughter hiding her head in my shoulder and came over to her and whispered closely, "you can run, but you can not hide." Naturally, I tried to lighten the situation by pretending to be humored and outraged at her mean-ness, but my daughter was creeped out.

This is how I know she was obviously scared. The CMs are trained to interact with people (yes, I know they are trained to be villians) and part of that means reading body language so I can't imagine that LT had no idea that the little girl was scared.

 

[MSLRAC]

I would still go because 1900 PF was DH and my favorite character meal. The food was great, the service was wonderful and the character interaction was the top notch.

The characters were very respectful of the fact that DD, DH and I were into them but DS wanted no part of them. The interacted with all of us while making a point not to upset DS. The step family even managed to pose with DD in such a way that I got DS looking quite unamused at them in every shot.

 

[Pooh&OurHunny]

The Mad Hatter made my son uncomfortable...he was 3 yrs old. Next morning we went to 1900 Park Fare so when I saw the Mad Hatter I explained to him that my son cried yesterday at MK b/c he did not like the Mad hatter. At breakfast Alice came by and asked my son if he wants the Mad Hatter at our table and he said no but he wants him to sign the autograph book so Alice took the book and had Mad Hatter sign it but he never visited our table and we had a wonderful breakfast.
Hope this helps.

 

[eyor44]

I vote for keeping the ADR and just asking that Lady T not visit the table. Mom or Dad could even take the child to the buffet when Lady T comes to their area.

Lady T scared my DD a couple years ago when she was 6. They were in the garden for a meet and greet and we started to enter. Lady T came to the edge of the stage, pointed at us and said to the handler, "Don't let them come in here." DD was in a stroller and began pushing herself backwards. The handler told DD it was fine that Lady T was just jeolous because she was prettier than the step sisters. DD would have none of it. Later we had DS (who was 14) go in and the step sisters and Lady T make a big deal over him. It was great fun. Still DD wouldn't go in. Fast forward one year. We ate at 1900 Park Fare and DD couldn't wait to see DS interact with them and had great fun this time around. Took pictures and everything.

 

[Hoosier37]

We avoided parades and anywhere else we saw characters hanging out.

There's the answer for the OP - if you don't want the child traumatized by characters she's afraid of, avoid those situations.

My kids aren't afraid of characters in general, being 11 and 8. We've never been to WDW. However, they are a bit introverted and when I was going to make an ADR at someplace like Chef Mickey's, they both begged me not to do that. We watched youtube vids of various restaurants, read menus online, etc, and both of them chose a dinner at 'Ohana.

To be honest, I wish we were doing one character meal, but I don't want to drag my kids into that situation if they absolutely don't want to go. So we aren't, and maybe next time we go, they'll change their mind.

I think Lady Tremaine was just being in character, and it should be up to the parents to judge whether or not to put their children in those situations. Obviously, this little girl is afraid. I think the OP should have a serious conversation with the little girl and see if SHE wants to have the character meal or not.

 

[KellyWasHere]

If your daughter could handle it.... I'd still try 1900 Park Fare. You could try some different things. Talk to the stepsisters in front of your daughter about the parade incident, they might play up on it. I can imagine them saying something like, "She scares us too! Hey Momma! Why are you scaring this poor little girl?" Or you could ask Prince Charming to protect your daughter. Or maybe have your daughter bring a wand (I know you can buy those in Disney World) and cast a spell on Lady Tremaine during dinner.

I think this is a great idea, and would be what I'd do if I was in your situation, OP. I hope it goes well, whatever you decide to do.

 

[enyaj40]

If it were me, and my child said they wanted to leave and they were scared, I probably would have left and tried another time. It is not Lady T's fault that the OP didn't heed her daughter's wishes and leave.

 

[eliza61]

Perhaps you should go read the original post.

Sorry but if your kid says she is scared and wants to go home, then the responsibility is not on the character but on you. This is where you make the decision to stand up with scared child turn around and start moving through the crowd.

 

[lugnut33]

Sorry, but I laughed at the original post. I think that's really cool she did that.

 

[eyor44]

Now I want to know of if they went or not and what happened.

 

[gris gris]

Here is what my mom told me when I got scared at a haunted house: Toughen up. It’s just a person playing a part. Followed up with a do you think I would let someone hurt you? Ending with we will leave and never come back.

So how did you turn out? Did you think your mom was being mean? I only ask because this is what I said to my DD8 while waiting in line for Tower of Terror. Although I couldn't say we'd leave and never come back because that would mean I'd have to leave and never come back

 

[fairestoneofall]

I also think that the OP should completely skip 1900 Park Faire tonight. BUT ... I have to question what "Lady Tremaine" in the parade was thinking when she saw a little girl cowering next to her mother and chose to ahead and make her even more scared. YES, Lady Tremaine is evil and I do not expect her to act in a way that is out of character. But why harass a little girl when there are plenty of other people there who would enjoy playing along? That was MEAN ... not on the part of the character but on the part of the CM playing the character.

i don't think it was mean. DS 5 was hiding (from the tremaines, whom my family LOVE) behind the stroller during the 3pm parade in june. Anastasia came over and was screaming (as only she can), "hey! is there a pirate back there? come out, little pirate! come out!" my son wasn't traumatized. embarrassed? maybe he was a little bit. but he certainly wasn't traumatized.

it all depends on the child. some children, hiding or not, wouldn't be traumatized by that. so, are they supposed to be nice every time they see a hiding child? that's not a villain.

i don't want the villains to be nice. niceness isn't their character. and frankly, it's nice to have villains and other ornery characters to liven things up. if they only let nice characters out, disney would be boring (at least in my opinion).

 

[luvthemouse71]

To me it just sounds like she was being shy. And it sounds like Lady Tremaine was being Lady Tremaine.

The character did nothing wrong...you can't shield your kids completely from ever feeling uncomfortable.

 

[torinsmom]

I think it was unfortunate that the child was upset, but I don't think it is the end of the world. Just tell her that the characters are not allowed to hurt anyone in the parks, and that Lady T was just jealous of her hair(or dress or whatever). You could also read the story to show her the good guys win. Its impossible to avoid the villains completely.

In the same situation, I would have asked the child if she wanted to eat somewhere Lady T would be. If not, I would reschedule somewhere else.

 

[AlicynWonderland]

WOW! I never intended to start a debate or inspire a parody thread, but such is the Disboard and why I love it so.

Simply for the record, my daughter is a mature kid with a great sense of humor, but I didn't want to shatter the illusion of the characters on her first Disney trip by telling her it was just a lady in costume, much like I wouldn't tell her a mall Santa is just some guy looking to earn a little extra cash for Christmas.

Some people thought I should have gotten up and left the parade...seriously?

I was surprised that Lady Tremaine singled out my obviously frightened child, but I never said I was mad about it or that she shouldn't behave like a villain. I think Lady Tremaine and the Stepsisters are hysterical, which is why I booked ADRs for Cinderella's Gala..certainly not for the food or the lofty price tag.

Even though I could have gotten my DDs to go to Cinderella's Gala with some creative persuasion, I decided it just wasn't worth the money if they were going to be uncomfortable the whole time. Fortunately, we have CRT reservations on Friday so they will still be able to meet their favorite princess without the stress. Instead, we went to Epcot's Food & Wine Festival and had a ton of fun eating, drinking, and browsing at our leisure.

We have been laughing about how mean Lady Tremaine was and I think she's feeling less threatened now. My younger DD5 keeps saying, " I can't wait to see that stepmother so I can show her what I'm made of!"

 

[eliza61]

WOW! I never intended to start a debate or inspire a parody thread, but such is the Disboard and why I love it so.

Simply for the record, my daughter is a mature kid with a great sense of humor, but I didn't want to shatter the illusion of the characters on her first Disney trip by telling her it was just a lady in costume, much like I wouldn't tell her a mall Santa is just some guy looking to earn a little extra cash for Christmas.

Some people thought I should have gotten up and left the parade...seriously?

I was surprised that Lady Tremaine singled out my obviously frightened child, but I never said I was mad about it or that she shouldn't behave like a villain. I think Lady Tremaine and the Stepsisters are hysterical, which is why I booked ADRs for Cinderella's Gala..certainly not for the food or the lofty price tag.


We have been laughing about how mean Lady Tremaine was and I think she's feeling less threatened now. My younger DD5 keeps saying, " I can't wait to see that stepmother so I can show her what I'm made of!"

good for her!!

I'll admit to being one who thought you should leave the parade. I've just seen so many parents "strongly force" scared kids to brave a ride or a character. I think so many of us plan on the perfect disney "vacation" that it becomes a do or die situation, like life as I know it will end if we don't see spectromagic. (not saying you were thinking that at all).

Anyway, this is the Dis, you can pretty much count on one thing. all threads at some point veer way off topic and even the song "Mary had a little lamb" can be cause for a debate

Glad you found alternative plans.

 

[dskib]

Saying that it's ok to scare an already scared little girl because she's in character is absolute crap. Disney World is magical and a little girl should NEVER be intentionally scared like that. I wonder how many non-scared little girls she passed by and said nothing to on her way to the OPs daughter?? Probably quite a few.

She can do her job and stay in character and walk right past that little girl. It's not only common sense, but common courtesy.

Deb

 

[maroo]

She can do her job and stay in character and walk right past that little girl. It's not only common sense, but common courtesy.

Deb

This is exactly what I was thinking...I mean...she could have just walked by. And no one would have ever thought she was not in character?? Just go to another child that is at least looking at her and not afraid.

I have to say that we took a 4 year old to 1900 Park Fare last December who was VERY scared of Lady Tremaine and Lady Tremaine handled it beautifully! She was still in character, but said things in such a way that by the end of that meal she was no longer scared.

So I know that they can stay in character in a way that will not scare the kids that are already afraid...and at a parade, that is VERY easy to do. She could easily be mean to the grown ups??

 

[fairestoneofall]

Saying that it's ok to scare an already scared little girl because she's in character is absolute crap. Disney World is magical and a little girl should NEVER be intentionally scared like that. I wonder how many non-scared little girls she passed by and said nothing to on her way to the OPs daughter?? Probably quite a few.

She can do her job and stay in character and walk right past that little girl. It's not only common sense, but common courtesy.

Deb

i think the point of many in this thread is that LT didn't necessarily KNOW the child was scared. my DS was hiding behind a stroller in my story. he was NOT scared (just doesn't like girl characters). if Anastasia had left him alone, we would've missed a completely hilarious moment.

OP, i'm sorry you all missed a fun dinner. but you did what was best for your child. maybe in the future, she'll be able to better handle it and you all can visit 1900 park fare. those tremaines are hilarious!