Lady Tremaine Terrified My Daughter..What to do?

[Vaughn]

To provide some fair balance here, I want to say that my daughter (5) always says that her FAVORITE part of our most recent WDW trip was when Lady Tremaine came over and "scolded" her like she was really Cinderella. So don't hate on Lady Tremaine, I would bet that the vast, overwhelming majority of the time her act goes over well.

I would rather the characters appeal to the majority as opposed to being totally safe, sanitized and boring.

 

[kylieh]

How did you go with the reservation??

And hugs to your DD. My DD would of been the same at 6 years.

 

[okeydokey]

She is 6 plenty old enough to deal with that was just a lady in a costume. My kids never thought they were anything but people dressed up.

Just explain she was a woman playing a role as a mean lady and it is all pretend like half the stuff at Disney is and just like if you go see a play the people are acting and this lady was acting and in real life is probably a very nice person.
Then move on don't give any more power to the fear, the quicker it is lessened by not giving it any importance the quicker she will get over it, especially since she is 6 not 2 and can reason and think. then go to dinner and make a game out of seeing if it is the same actor or not.

I completely agree. Tell her the lady was an actress playing a role and that should be the end of it.

 

[eliza61]

Oh boy....I would definitely try to find another place. If not I would explain the situation to your wait server if you have to go there. She could possibly skip your table if it becomes an issue again. Either that or just take her out of the area when that character comes around.
What a horrible situation to be in I'm shocked she went to such lengths especially since she was already hiding from her.

If it was at the 3PM parade it wasn't part of the halloween party. It was just a villian acting like a villian. This is the reason that the villians meal didn't go well and Disney canceled it. Its hard really - Disney can't win either way

Wow, that is unbelievable! Those women are all wicked. You could always follow thru w/ the ressie and explain to your daughter how Cinderella overcame those witches, she should try too? Just a thought. We're going next week and my 3 boys cant wait to harass them....I'll make sure they give Lady Tremaine a taste of her own medicine!

Sorry ladies, but the Lady Tremaine is the evil stepmother. Hello, she is supposed to be scary. shelly, you're absolutely right, disney can't win either way. Disney can't custom make characters for each child. It's the parents job to difuse these situations.

Op, sorry but if you're daughter is really freaked by the villians then it is your job to make sure she does not come into contact with them. Asking a villian to "not" be in character (if that's what you'd like) is really not fair to the person trying to do their job or to the other guest who enjoy the villans for their "nastiness". Skip this character meal and find some where else more suited to your family.

 

[FigmentChick]

Eliza, I am so with you. Telling your child that she's just a person playing a part would shatter an illusion to which Disney tries so hard to create for our children.

OP, I am so sorry for your situation and would love to hear an update on your dinner reservation. I am sorry your daughter was scared; I agree that maybe Lady Tremaine should have exercised a little caution and avoided approaching a little girl who was clearly afraid, but...she is the evil stepmother. I hope everything works out for you.

 

[robinb]

Sorry ladies, but the Lady Tremaine is the evil stepmother. Hello, she is supposed to be scary. shelly, you're absolutely right, disney can't win either way. Disney can't custom make characters for each child. It's the parents job to difuse these situations.

Op, sorry but if you're daughter is really freaked by the villians then it is your job to make sure she does not come into contact with them. Asking a villian to "not" be in character (if that's what you'd like) is really not fair to the person trying to do their job or to the other guest who enjoy the villans for their "nastiness". Skip this character meal and find some where else more suited to your family.

I also think that the OP should completely skip 1900 Park Faire tonight. BUT ... I have to question what "Lady Tremaine" in the parade was thinking when she saw a little girl cowering next to her mother and chose to ahead and make her even more scared. YES, Lady Tremaine is evil and I do not expect her to act in a way that is out of character. But why harass a little girl when there are plenty of other people there who would enjoy playing along? That was MEAN ... not on the part of the character but on the part of the CM playing the character.

 

[shinysparklybubbles]

I also think that the OP should completely skip 1900 Park Faire tonight. BUT ... I have to question what "Lady Tremaine" in the parade was thinking when she saw a little girl cowering next to her mother and chose to ahead and make her even more scared. YES, Lady Tremaine is evil and I do not expect her to act in a way that is out of character. But why harass a little girl when there are plenty of other people there who would enjoy playing along? That was MEAN ... not on the part of the character but on the part of the CM playing the character.

Totally agree, there was no need for her to do that.

 

[Coach81]

This is just too funny.. the kind of stuff that would have happened to us.. no doubt.. Good Luck!

 

[Oglet]

I also think that the OP should completely skip 1900 Park Faire tonight. BUT ... I have to question what "Lady Tremaine" in the parade was thinking when she saw a little girl cowering next to her mother and chose to ahead and make her even more scared. YES, Lady Tremaine is evil and I do not expect her to act in a way that is out of character. But why harass a little girl when there are plenty of other people there who would enjoy playing along? That was MEAN ... not on the part of the character but on the part of the CM playing the character.

Maybe it was as innocent as Lady Termaine seeing a little girl who looked upset not knowing that it was her that was causing the problem. Its quite possible all she done was to go over there and try to give her some attention while staying in character.

Maybe the "You can run but you can't hide" was as simple as trying to get the child to cheer up and not hide their head.

I feel bad for the child however I don't believe for one moment that Lady Tremaine was trying to scare her or harass her for that matter. Our Characters are not psychologists and as unfortunate as it might be sometimes things they do might not always sit well with everyone.

 

[mariepapa]

First Tink scaring little pirate girls, now this...what has become of the characters at Disney World?

In this case Lady Tremaine IS a villan, and she was doing her job. And your daughter should be old enough in her eyes to handle this kind of thing. Maybe she wasn't but people in character roles don't always know this and cannot make assumptions. Hope you had a good time at the dinner. I would not have canceled if I were you, it gives you a chance to try and help your daughter fight her demons!

 

[GingerJay]

On our most recent trip, my DS was terrified of all the face characters. When we met Lady Tremaine in the parks, he did run and hide from her and she ignored him and interacted with my daughters instead. They did fine, and she was not overly mean but she did stay in character...how did you DD do with the other face characters?

 

[scjo68]

I also think that the OP should completely skip 1900 Park Faire tonight. BUT ... I have to question what "Lady Tremaine" in the parade was thinking when she saw a little girl cowering next to her mother and chose to ahead and make her even more scared. YES, Lady Tremaine is evil and I do not expect her to act in a way that is out of character. But why harass a little girl when there are plenty of other people there who would enjoy playing along? That was MEAN ... not on the part of the character but on the part of the CM playing the character.

I agree completely!

What I like about Disney characters is that their friends are usually so sensitive about which guests would appreciate their character and which are scared. One year my DD was pretty nervous about characters, but it worked out fine, because we just didn't approach or even go near any characters that she was afraid of. We knew villains stay in character, so we stayed away. They had no need to approach us, as there were plenty of folks who really enjoyed their meanness. If anyone my dd was afraid of did start to approach, I could easily and quickly wave them away and they quickly got the message. To me, that sensitivity is part of what makes WDW so special, compared to other parks.

During a parade, the op's dd was kind of captive, couldn't move away. To me it seems like her body language made it quite clear that she didn't want the attention. It strikes me as inappropriate to single out this child who was clearly afraid and say that to her.

 

[robinb]

Maybe it was as innocent as Lady Termaine seeing a little girl who looked upset not knowing that it was her that was causing the problem. Its quite possible all she done was to go over there and try to give her some attention while staying in character.

Maybe the "You can run but you can't hide" was as simple as trying to get the child to cheer up and not hide their head.

I feel bad for the child however I don't believe for one moment that Lady Tremaine was trying to scare her or harass her for that matter. Our Characters are not psychologists and as unfortunate as it might be sometimes things they do might not always sit well with everyone.

I don't see how you can spin "You can run but you can't hide" said to a cowering child to be anything other than harassment. Don't you think that some of the characters get carried away in their evilness?

 

[eliza61]

I also think that the OP should completely skip 1900 Park Faire tonight. BUT ... I have to question what "Lady Tremaine" in the parade was thinking when she saw a little girl cowering next to her mother and chose to ahead and make her even more scared. YES, Lady Tremaine is evil and I do not expect her to act in a way that is out of character. But why harass a little girl when there are plenty of other people there who would enjoy playing along? That was MEAN ... not on the part of the character but on the part of the CM playing the character.

Naw, I don't think so. First, many kids hide their faces in their parents shoulder. Most are a bit frighten or more are just a bit gun shy. How many times do the characters come up to the child who is hiding and coax them out? How many times do parent slap a screaming kid on Mickey's lap anyway. Now we expect the characters to figure this out? No kinda way is this harassing. Second, sorry but as parents we some times have to let go of the "Do every thing and experience every thing" mentality when we get to disney.

If my kid is "cowering" at a parade, you know, it's time for us to get up and miss the parade. If your kid is scared of a ride, you know what, it's time for the kid to miss that ride.

Not Lady Tremaines job to play "what is this kid feeling". she's walking down the street interacted with the crowd. What she's got 10 secs to decipher any thing? It's our job to figure out how our kids will react and act accordingly.

JMO. It's all good though. I would definitely cancel the park fare reservation though. why chance it.

 

[cmurray234]

I'd probably just change reservations, since the dinner is coming so soon after the incident.

 

[okeydokey]

Eliza, I am so with you. Telling your child that she's just a person playing a part would shatter an illusion to which Disney tries so hard to create for our children.

OP, I am so sorry for your situation and would love to hear an update on your dinner reservation. I am sorry your daughter was scared; I agree that maybe Lady Tremaine should have exercised a little caution and avoided approaching a little girl who was clearly afraid, but...she is the evil stepmother. I hope everything works out for you.

My kids were 3 and 5 the first time we went to Disney and they knew the characters were actors and were playing a part and nothing was shattered. We never told them anything.

It's unfortunate that the girl was scared, but at 6 she may already realize that Lady Tremaine was an actress. I mean in the movie she is animated, and at the parks she is an actual person, so it's quite obvious.

 

[Oglet]

Where did this cowering come from anyway? It started out as the child being told in a calm voice to put their head on their mothers shoulder and look away.

That is very different to cowering and could easily be mistaken for being shy.

 

[rie'smom]

Today my family got great curb seats on Main Street for the 3p parade. As Lady Tremaine paraded closer to us, my DD6 got scared asked if we could go home. I recognized what was going down so I calmly explained that if she just looked away that the character would recognize that she was uncomfortable with her and walk on by us...not so! She noticed my daughter hiding her head in my shoulder and came over to her and whispered closely, "you can run, but you can not hide." Naturally, I tried to lighten the situation by pretending to be humored and outraged at her mean-ness, but my daughter was creeped out.

Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary, and we made ADRs for Cinderella's Royal Gala at 1900 Park Fare for a special dinner out for all of us. I know that Drizella, Anastasia and Lady Tremaine will be in attendance. I think I should cancel my ADR, but it will be difficult to find another reservation this late in the game. Ugh!

Has anyone been able to effectively diffuse a similiar situation?

When my daughter was 3 we were near the Tea Cups. The Red Queen was coming towards us and my daughter put her head on my shoulder. I told her the mean queen was coming. The Queen did her thing and my daughter told her, "If you're not nice, Mickey Mouse won't let you stay in his park anymore." The Queen crossed her arms and turned her back and my daughter was thrilled. I think maybe the heads up gave my daughter a couple of seconds to get herself together. It may be a good thing to go ahead with the meal. Tell your daughter that it's an act. It might be better if she faces her fear. If she begins to get upset, you could always take her to the ladies room when you see Lady Tremain coming your way. If she is able to sit through it, she will have a big feeling of accomplishment.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

I would think that this is a parent/child situation. OP I would cancel the ressie. I wouldn't contact costumer service or anything. The actor was doing their job and I'm sure was playing. I wouldn't call them out for doing their job. I wouldn't ruin the magic but you could tell her to be brave like Cinderella or that Dad is Prince Charming and will protect her.

 

[cmurray234]

I find this whole debate about Lady Tremaine quite curious. Shouldn't the beef be with old Walt himself? The actress, whomever that might have been, was hired to BE Lady Tremaine...which she was.

The fault here lies squarely at the feet of Walt Disney himself. He very deliberately made characters that were frightening and evil.

The prevailing sentiment in this thread is that children should not be unnecessarily frightened. Fine. But if you're going to go down that path, you need to follow it to its bitter end. Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty are INTENDED to be frightening - I doubt anyone would argue otherwise. And if that's the case, then it stands to reason that the solution would be to protect your child from those movies.

If we're going to assign blame, we should direct it where it belongs. Walt created the scary character, ipso facto the fault lies with him.