Ladies, sons and bathrooms

[DnA2010]

just a general comment for those that feel it is okay for mom to bring 8 year old son in women's restroom, what about the single father of an 8 year old girl? is it also okay for him to take his daughter in the men's room cause he does not want to send her in alone? you never hear this

My DD (step) would NOT go into a mens room past the age of about 4/5- I mean seeing men at urinals was NOT ok with her. Since kindergarten they go into a bathroom by themselves- DH would send her in and wait at the exit.

 

[jenm2878]

You know what I always wonder when I see this topic come up? For those that are afraid for their young boys to be alone in the men's room, you realize that you are teaching your boys that they will one day become (perceived) creepers just because they are boys, right? At what age do they go from needing protecting from creepers to becoming the (perceived) creepers to other people? I'm a mom to two boys, and I think it's sad that I need to teach them to be careful of other people's perceptions.

 

[BJ7644]

My DD, almost four and a half, has refused to go in a mens room since starting preschool last fall. There's no exceptions there so it's how she sees things now. If DH must take her then it's a family or gender neutral restroom.

A few weeks ago I took her potty at a restaurant and a boy about her age was in there with his mom and sister. She questioned why he was there and she wouldn't go until he was gone.

Its hard for kids - they are told the "rules" of how things are but they aren't able to grasp the concept of the "exceptions". That boy did look embarrassed tho even at his age.

I do feel an older boy should be in stall with mom. If mom isn't comfortable with that then she knows he's too old - why force someone else to deal with it when she can't.

 

[maxiesmom]

For those who are suggesting using Family Restrooms, be aware that Disney doesn't have them. Those typically have toilets that are lower to the ground and a sink easily within reach of a little one. What Disney has are Companion Restrooms, which are pretty much the opposite. The toilets are higher up and so is the sink. It wouldn't be easy for a small child to manage in a Companion Restroom by themselves.

 

[MammaMoe48]

OP, if your 8 year old is mature enough to voice the fact that he is uncomfortable going into the ladies' room, then if it were me I would feel as though he is mature enough to go to the men's room alone.

I would tend to agree with this, my now 10 year old didn't want to go into the ladies room anymore around 8/9 years old so I would let him go into the mens room alone but I told him to go into a stall and close and lock the door instead of using a urinal - I don't care if all the men there are some child's father or grandfather or uncle or brother, doesn't mean they don't like to look.

 

[LiveYourLife]

just a general comment for those that feel it is okay for mom to bring 8 year old son in women's restroom, what about the single father of an 8 year old girl? is it also okay for him to take his daughter in the men's room cause he does not want to send her in alone? you never hear this

You know Betty, this is an excellent question. One that I have asked many times before on these bathroom threads. I've never really gotten an answer. Especially from those posters that are pro "take your son into the women's restroom until they are 16" parents. Funny how that works, isn't it?

 

[Meshell2002]

Since the wife and I are both women, a DH will never figure in to our travel plans. Hmmm, I wonder if my friend will lend ...

My apologies for the confusion....I reread my response and realized how that sounded....did not mean to offend...just that if DH is not with us.... DS goes in bathroom alone and meets me..... I don't need DH to travel anywhere.... Poor editing on small screen on my part.

 

[snowman]

My apologies for the confusion....I reread my response and realized how that sounded....did not mean to offend...just that if DH is not with us.... DS goes in bathroom alone and meets me..... I don't need DH to travel anywhere.... Poor editing on small screen on my part.

Not offended at all Hun. I actually do have a friend who lets us borrow her husband for the things we can't do.....like chainsaw work, etc. And he will take our son...so he gets "guy time".

 

[kreckl]

Sometimes I just don't get the nasty attitude here.
The issue with taking a girl into the mens room is different. Urinals. No comparison.
To the OP, who was actually looking for some parenting support~ we found it better to time our bathroom breaks when we were in restaurants. The bathrooms were smaller, and if our son was taking a long time in the men's room we could yell in and he could hear us. We always told him to use a stall. Many of the bathrooms are huge in the parks and can be overwhelming for some kids. They are certainly bigger than almost anyplace I've seen.
Kids will be ready to handle many things on their own timetable.

 

[kreckl]

And congrats on your new son!

 

[snowman]

And congrats on your new son!

Thank you! It is a learning experience but he is sooooo worth it.

 

[Gracie09]

Sometimes I just don't get the nasty attitude here.
The issue with taking a girl into the mens room is different. Urinals. No comparison.
To the OP, who was actually looking for some parenting support~ we found it better to time our bathroom breaks when we were in restaurants. The bathrooms were smaller, and if our son was taking a long time in the men's room we could yell in and he could hear us. We always told him to use a stall. Many of the bathrooms are huge in the parks and can be overwhelming for some kids. They are certainly bigger than almost anyplace I've seen.
Kids will be ready to handle many things on their own timetable.

Am I the only person who while glancing at "closed" stall doors could see in the cracks to the person inside without even trying? There are young teen girls in there dealing with the changes in their bodies and should be able to feel comfortable in their own gender restroom. If you feel you must bring you son in the ladies room with you bring him into the stall with you. If he is too old for that, then he is too old for the ladies room.
When my husband takes my dds out into the world, they use their appropriate gender restroom. They are six. When they go to school, they use their appropriate gender restroom. When they go on field trips with school, they use their appropriate gender restroom. Still no one has answered what is so scary about the men's room?

 

[kreckl]

I was referring to sending him into the boy's room. Just suggesting a smaller one for kids who may be needing it....That's what I wrote.
And no, I don't think I've seen into stalls actually. I bend over to see if there are feet inside!

 

[BJ7644]

Am I the only person who while glancing at "closed" stall doors could see in the cracks to the person inside without even trying?

Definitely not. I've inadvertently seen and been seen. The worst was at a theater during intermission. Huge line in the ladies room, attendee directed me to a stall in the front on my turn. Once inside I could easily see the long line out there and they all could easily see me.

I've also encountered a few ladies that didn't bother to latch the door - or didn't mind if it was broken.

 

[Angel Ariel]

So when my wife and I go in January, we will have our new son. He will be turning 8 while we are there. We are trying to figure things out with our new configuration.

The one place that we are still trying to figure out is bathrooms. We live near a very small city, so allowing him to go into the men's room on his own is....usually okay (truth is I worry the whole time and keep an eye on my watch). Disney is a much larger scale than anything he is used to, let alone much larger than our local grocery store.

Ladies, if you are there on your own with a young male child, how do you potty him? What age do you stop taking him into the ladies room with you? Are there any bathrooms that have two or three exits? He would not willingly go into a multi-stall ladies room unless I pushed the issue.

Suggestions, hints, tips?

I would not bring an 8 y/o into the ladies room, personally - especially if the child is not willing in the first place. I would give him many opportunities at home, in well known places, to practice whatever procedure you plan to use in the parks (i.e. picking a spot and telling him to stay there while you use the restroom alone, and him not moving while you're gone...going into the men's room on his own with you waiting outside in a pre-determined spot for him, etc). Make it habit and routine, and then continue the habit/routine at WDW.

 

[cruisingtwins]

You know Betty, this is an excellent question. One that I have asked many times before on these bathroom threads. I've never really gotten an answer. Especially from those posters that are pro "take your son into the women's restroom until they are 16" parents. Funny how that works, isn't it?

DD is 4 and DH takes her into the men's bathroom all the time. With that said I don't have the same concerns about women's bathrooms as I do with the mens.

 

[Angel Ariel]

If his mere presence and the fact that he has a ***** inside his pants that no one else has the opportunity to see unless they are peaking in a locked stall, makes someone uncomfortable, that is their personal problem and will not change what I do to give my child a sense of security.

That's a nice sentiment for the mothers who want to give their daughters a sense of security. Why is a young boy's sense of security more important than a young girl's?

 

[Gracie09]

DD is 4 and DH takes her into the men's bathroom all the time. With that said I don't have the same concerns about women's bathrooms as I do with the mens.

Why? A child could be hurt or molested or need help (all reasons cited in this thread) in the women's room just as easily as in the men's. Again what is so scary about the men's room?
And around five is when dh started having dds go into the ladies room. They did not want to go into the men's room with him because they were big girls

 

[Gracie09]

That's a nice sentiment for the mothers who want to give their daughters a sense of security. Why is a young boy's sense of security more important than a young girl's?

Because they are girls. We wonder why girls don't speak up in class, shy away from math and science because they are hard etc etc when as a society we start telling them the boys feelings (although in this case I will say the boys mother feelings) are more important than the girls even in cases where the girl is using a rest room appropriate for her gender.) are more important than theirs. Instead of recognizing and validating their feelings and concerns they are shoved aside and told to deal with it.

 

[snowman]

As the OP I will say this topic has veered wildly off base. It seems to be forgotten that I did NOT want to bring him into the ladies room nor would he want to go. For our family that is inappropriate. I wanted suggestions on how to handle knowing he is safe in the men's room. I got several good suggestions.

Use a safe or panic word. Use a stall instead of a urinal. If he is going to be long, let the moms know. If possible, use the bathrooms at the restaurants as they are often smaller. Companion bathrooms if available.

A sincere thank you to everyone who offered ideas on what they have found works for them and their children.